Big Questions, Maybe Ordinary Answers...

Some of you have asked about "what it's like being engaged and not long-distance," and others want to hear what it's like being so close to marriage. I haven't said much about my thought life or emotional journeys since moving to Louisville. That doesn't mean they've been boring or non-existent. Ryan & I have enjoyed & benefitted from the pre-marital counseling we've gotten to do with our pastor, Ryan Fullerton, and his wife, Christy. It was good for me to get to know them more personally, especially since they already knew Ryan so well.

The second counseling session, where we talked about "visions," which Ryan & I had asked for help in working out, was probably our hardest one. Ryan & Christy urged us to have ONE vision as a family, and the pattern in Scripture is for the husband to set that vision (with his wife's happiness very much in mind!) and the wife to follow it whole-heartedly with him. After the session, Ryan & I had a pretty intense talk... sitting on Glen & Bethany's backsteps, ocassionally awed by the grossness of the beetles & roaches teeming out there. That, and similar conversations were themselves rooted in internal questions. For me, it meant a lot of searching, wanting to make sure this really is what God wants, that I really am willing to surrender any dreams to be handled by this man, to let God make me useful in perhaps a way I didn't anticipate. My desire for marriage has been to be more effective in Kingdom-building than I could/can be alone. The last independent choice I’ll make is to whom I’ll choose to surrender my choice-making… I'll let you "listen in" on my prayers, thoughts, and final resolution.

It was that question—“Can I submit cheerfully, God-glorifyingly, to this man?”—that kept me saying “No” to several wonderful men who asked to date me, for 4 years. When Ryan came along again that question was the filter. To my delight, there was no reason to say ‘no’ to him! When we talked about them, we had similar life-goals— to advance the Kingdom, to be useful to serve His Church. We had similar desires, even: ministry, especially towards children, quite likely ministry amidst poverty. In our friendship, we served together often, I loved the heart I saw (and still see) ministering particularly to children. So why the agonizing questions now? Am I just doubting everything the last month before marriage because, well, it’s the last month before marriage? I think partly yes. Marriage isn’t reversible. It’s like the Anglican wedding service states: “marriage is not to be entered unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purpose for which it was instituted by God.” But partly, I was afraid—did Ryan still have those same desires that I thought he did? Will marrying him bind me to follow a path that leads me to abandon all my dreams? Is that most pleasing to God?

A passage Christy Fullerton read in our session has stuck with me as a good sort of goal verse. It's describing the widow that the church wants to support, so I guess it's a good model for the young non-widow to have: "Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. [ ...] So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander." (1 Tim 5: 6, 9-10, 14) It's a very home-centered, everyday sort of obedience He seems to want from me. (see below entry on Margaret Paton) Ryan F. interprets 1 Tim 2:15 ("Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.") to mean that the context of sanctification for most women is meant to be their home! Where you need more faith, love and self-control than in dealing with kids & household demands 24-7, I have no idea! I see that in experience, certainly, and reading over it I don’t think it’s a distortion of the text. It makes a lot of sense, actually.

I wonder if God hasn’t been preparing me to come to this conclusion for the past two months, leading me to read Margaret Paton, and sticking lines from John Piper’s sermon on Ruth in my head: “Knowing how to connect everyday ‘ordinary’ obedience to Glory has radical implications for your Monday morning.” Unglamorous, normal solving of marital conflict, caring for small children and cooking of extra food for guests seems to be quite pleasing to my Father; quite Kingdom-advancing and Church-useful.

So that was sort of a long way of saying that I know my nursing and foreign-mission and adoption and foster-parenting dreams are all just that: dreams. They are God-given desires to express deeper God-given desires to nurture and share Hope with the hurting and lost, and He is pleased with those I know! BUT...they may not bear fruit the ways I sort of foresaw them doing. The putting away of the fulfillments I’d planned/envisioned feels a lot like putting a knife to Isaac’s throat. They’re all dreams I’ve nurtured for years. BUT after those good searching talks with Ryan, and after hearing him read the "Short and Long-Term Vision" Ryan had to write as a counseling assignment, I can step forward in faith by marrying Ryan, knowing that we are on the same page as far as dreams and desires go, and trusting that as he leads us as a family, he'll be trying to honor God, and love me as well as he can. That may well (likely, even) mean no nursing school for me-- not for quite a while at least, maybe never. It may mean staying in Louisville to learn and serve here for quite a good bit of our lives. It may mean home-schooling my children in Indonesia for years. Neither of us really knows, and I guess we never can, for all our planning.

When it comes down to it, I want to marry Ryan. He has won my heart time after time in the past year. I admire his character, and his leadership as he grows in it. I love him. I know he wants me to be happy, and he knows that’s found in me being holy. He struggles to be more holy himself. He serves me, bears with me, is kind to me—in three words, he loves me. My family approves of him, my closest friends advise me towards him, our pastors recommend him. How can I not want to entrust myself to a man like that? If it is no disobedience for me to marry Ryan Szrama, and I find nothing in Scripture that would indicate it would be, then I will choose to work out my salvation by his side, trusting Him to lead him to lead me.

...and let me just say that I can't WAIT!! ...10 more days...
--Christina

I can completely understand...

When was the last time normalcy made you cry? Probably the last time after it hadn't been normal to you. I read this article and could identify VERY readily.

When we were in Italy, and we'd arrive at a restaurant that served gluten-free ANYTHING, I'd about cry. Those of you who were with me can attest to that.

Eating is a gift, not to be taken for granted.

"So whether you eat, or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

--Christina, who WILL be having gluten-free wedding cake! =D

Showers of Blessing

Here are some pictures from the shower my home church, Grace Baptist of Taylors, and Tia Olga threw for Ryan & I this weekend. The womenfolk of Ryan's family all came down (or up, depending on where they live normally); his grandmother Martha Presley, his Mom Tamara, his sister Courtney, his Aunt Karen, and his cousin Kelly (Kasey couldn't make it). My maternal grandmother, Lulu (aka Mama Lulu) came as well, and of course the Greenville Tias came-- Olga & Sylvia. It was the first time the grandmothers met, as well as some of the other family members. It was also the long-awaited first time Ryan met my sister Nicole's boyfriend, Colin-- they've been hearing about each other for months now, lol. Though, Colin, i don't think the gift you let Nicole put your name on made the best impression... since when is Sense & Sensibility a guy movie? ;D

I can go on and on about how wonderful the whole weekend was, and I probably WILL eventually, ...I mean, my family really outdid themselves, and so many sweet memories were made... but I HAVE to get these lesson plans started, so I'll post these pictures to appease some of you clamoring for updates, as a temporary/intermediate fix.

The plans for teaching the very DAY after we get back from our honeymoon daunt me a little. I was wanting to be made more to feel my dependance on, even my desperate need for Divine Grace... I think this is an answer to those prayers!

Love and grace,

--Christina

The Two Sets of "Tony & Angie"s

I realized I have pictures of both of them, so y'all can see them!

The Hepp variety
Ryan knew Tony through Cross of Calvary Baptist in Corydon, IN. We ate sushi with them last week. Tony just graduated from Southern & they'll be moving to Texas on August 18th...sadly for us!

The Taylor Variety (married on May 5th!)
They're members at Immanuel with us, and we have Bible Study on Thursdays at their house. Ryan usually dresses up for the occasion, as the following picture will show

(sporting Tony's daughter Destiny's, nicknamed Nini (aged 4), hair tie. He thought he knew how to 'work' them, but didn't really. So Angie & I showed him how it was done.)

Side By Side Living

Well, I've been told by many that I need to update, and I've even wanted to myself! What's kept me has chiefly been the inexplicable aversion of this particular computer to blogger. I don't understand it, but it takes usually 3-4 tries, often with several minutes of blank screen at a time, for the editing pages to load, and I've gone whole hours, attempting multiple times, to no avail. Sometimes the pages just won't load. Thankfully, posting original entries is easier than editing older ones, so at least this should work. It's not that I've been too busy to post, per se, it's more that if I have to choose how I'm going to spend a 2 hour chunk of time, with a wedding, ensuing marriage, new teaching jobs, and buying & adorning of a home all bearing in on me in less than a month, there are other things that quickly take priority.

So, how's life been as in-state fiances? Well, it's been life. =D Some of it has been great. Let me list some highlights: sushi at our friends Tony & Angie Hepp's place (I rolled my own for the first time, and Ryan tried it all, even finding he liked the roll containing raw tuna the best!); Bible Study on Thursdays at Tony & Angie Taylor's (I know, two couples with the same names); a Sunday afternoon spent working together on VBS laminating, coloring & cutting; reading Harry Potter 7 out loud to each other, a chapter at a time; the weekly ritual of me bringing him lunch at work (on our 1-year anniversary, I surprised him with a scrapbook of 'Our Story' and take-out from the Kashmir, where we had our first date if you recall-- another time I managed to drop my entire soup bowl upside-down, lol); church small group every other Sunday evening; the Church Wedding Shower hosted by Jillian & Brian Preston for us last Sunday-- we sat out in Shelby Park, and ate BBQ and even gluten-free hamburger buns for me (made my day); evenings talking with Glen & Bethany (the couple I live with), and often laughing very hard at Glen; Sunday lunches with a whole motley crew around our "table" (we have to sit in the living room cause the kitchen table only seats 4), with a large percentage of the food being consumed by Rob Smythe (a favorite tag-along in my mind); watching Transformers with Lyle, Ryan's work buddy, and Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix with Ashlea, my roomie from last summer; Q'dobas and Moes meals; strolling through the mall hand-in-hand, looking for wedding bands or a queen-sized bed; the increasingly frequent spells when Ryan cracks me up and I can't stop laughing, no matter how much it hurts! (then he starts laughing at me, which makes me start up all over again) He's gotten a technique down pat called 'Seductive Eating'-- guys, never, ever try seducing ANYONE with it. I also must mention David Devasto's week-long visit last week. In his honor we had quite a number of great times, including our Dairy-Del ritual. Dave was with us that fateful day last summer when I first met Ryan, and when Ben Hedrick dared me to eat...well, you know. Anyway this year, Sarah, Karis (now a very cute 1-year old), and Ben joined Ryan, Dave, John Letoto & myself one night after VBS. Before we arrived, Bed told the servers to give me, no matter what I ordered, another bubble-gum-covered-chocolate-cone. They did, to my utter astonishment, and everyone's laughter. It was as gross as I remembered it, but this time, I just fed the coating (aka gross part) to Karis, who loved it.

So, to sum it all up... living near Ryan is wonderful, AND it also gives us opportunities to practice forgiveness and forbearance like you wouldn't believe. We're now in the same local community of faith, and part of the package is friction. I'm quite the sinner (I know you're shocked, right hehehe). We've had to learn how to relate to each other in a group all over again, had to address questions of teasing and what a united front means, and how we show respect for each other all the time. We've had to (and still are) grow in bearing with daily annoyances and grievances, which has led to lots of confession of sin and forgiveness. Glen & Bethany really have encouraged us in this; we're trying to take into account each other's family's 'culture'-- how things were handled, and what was expected in our different families growing up. We're learning that the "one-flesh" marital unity doesn't come by becoming clones of one another, but rather by each becoming more and more united to Christ, so as a part of that we're trying to be more diligent in encouraging one another towards Him. There have been some hard conversations, some real soul-searching, and even crying. But it's all been in a context that makes the overall taste so sweet that I wouldn't trade it for anything. We've discovered that we'd much rather talk than not! So this week we've tried to make time to just talk, to just be together.

Pre-marital counseling has been really good, and it's led to some good conversations. [I have much more to say about that.] This past week wedding prep has picked back up, and today actually felt a little overwhelming, especially in relation to the work I have to be doing getting ready for school next year. I'll start teaching the day after we get back from our honeymoon! So I have to be READY, and 2 weeks ahead of time, because I won't be thinking about lesson plans on the honeymoon, let me tell you that!

Well, packing must be done. We'll only be in Greenville 2 nights, and my sisters have way cuter clothes than I do anyway, so I'm not too worried. =D Like I said, I've got more to say about pre-marital counseling, and also about my own spiritual state & growth. There's lots of thoughts, as always. I just finished CS Lewis' A Grief Observed if that gives you any hint as to the direction of some of my musings of late. Also working on The Moon By Night (Madeleine L'Engle) and The Sacred Marriage, as well as Margaret Paton's Letters from the South Seas (so encouraging!).

Loved and with love,
~Christina

A Walk in Shelby Park

Shueys.

Summer.

Shelby Park.

Sarah, excited and happy and free.


Crazy Paton (we say "Sina's getting walked by the dog").

John, lagging behind with "his hobo bag"

Jenna faces...Jenna feet...

Jenna in General.

Juice cups.

Morgan half grown-up.



John's swordfighting leaps.

Baby Abigail, sleeping safe & warm like every baby should.

These are the moments I savor like summer watermelon-- slices of sweet, hot days.

My New Room

Behold my setup at 719 Gwendolyn Street, upstairs front bedroom. :)

Bethany [Moore] had it set up in a blue and brown color scheme, which suited me just fine. ...the only challenge has been integrating frames and decorations from a green-and-purple scheme. I just plain couldn't use some stuff. lol as if I needed any more frames out! I had fun rotating pics, and figuring out how best to arrange them all. The other night I stayed up WAY too late doing that. Those of you who recently saw my room back in Greenville may be able to tell which pictures are differently framed, or are new! :)

View upon entering. The windows provide a lovely light. It's quite a large room, too!

As before, the nightstand is the place for Ryan's Shrine.
(Notice the sweet card & flowers he had to welcome me home!)

The view from by the bed. The table & stools are gift from Dave & Sina [Shuey], who recently bought a bigger kitchen table, so now all 5 of them can fit around it! :)

My closet and 2nd nightstand-- another gift from Dave & Sina. I'm rather proud of the organization of my closet. Things fit rather nicely. And I just did my first load of Louisville-dirtied laundry today.

The view of Shelby Park ("the park") from my window. 5 mornings a week I start out my day running there, sometimes accompanied by Sina. See how close it is? And the church is only a block to the right. I cut through the back yard, an then through Mark & Libbie Timmons' yard, directly behind us, then cross the street (Oak St.-- where Dave & Sina live), and pass 5 houses, for a 2 minute commute to church. It's great!

Home Sweet Szrama Home

As per Ashley's request, some pictures of what may soon be the Szrama home! It's still being renovated, but the inspection went well, and the owner's agreed to do all the work we asked on it. We're excited! We spent some time last night pricing beds and wedding bands, and tomorrow will likely do the same...and pick out paint colors for our new walls... and try out towels to register for. Hehe exciting 4th plans, no?

Ryan's First Wedding

I mean his first time OFFICIATING a ceremony. (Saturday, June 30th-- same time Todd & Kara Edwards were getting married in Pennsylvania!)

Details to come... pictures for now :)

Preparation-- definitely the most challenging part. I got to help him find vows and type them up. Gave us some good ideas for our own ceremony comin' up!

Mollee (the bride), getting ready

The wedding & reception were in this Forest Museum of sorts-- beautiful! The windows gave a gorgeous view of the Indiana farmland. We're going to make a trip to the orchard nearby (Hubris Orchard). The Shueys, with Sarah & Abigail, are gonna come too if we can work it out!

Ryan praying with Mollee and Shawn. He did a wonderful job in the delivery. God answered prayer!-- he was clear, to the point, personal, and not mincing in his words of charge to the couple and the audience. He presented the Gospel (which is inherently central to any wedding, whether the couple knows it or not) very clearly and simply. Made me proud, and very thankful. :)

A new favorite of mine

(Can you see the rolling hills behind the happy couple?)

Unique Opportunities of Serving as a Wife

"The hidden side of church history has been the part played behind the scenes by Christian women. Occasionaly the work fo outstanding single women has been better known, but for those married, and whose lives have been of strategic importance to the kingdom of God, it has generally been their husband's names that have come down to posterity. The work of the men was more public, more documented, and thus more available to the writers of history. The wives, without whom eminent men would not have been what they were, were content to remain little known or remembered."

~Iain H. Murray, Intro to Margaret Paton: Letters from the South Seas

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

~God's Promise: Matthew 6:1-4

Isn't it amazing that God, who needs nothing, would be the One to notice and reward service to those who are are both least likely to thank, and most needy!? (and if small children aren't needy, I don't know who is!)

"And whatever you do, in word of deed, do everything in the Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. [...] Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the Inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." (wow!)

~More promises: Colossians 3:17 & 23-24

"...God is not so unjust as to overlook your work and the love that you showed for His sake in serving the saints, as you still do."

~Still more promises: Hebrews 6:10

"She [Jessie Inglis, missionary to the New Hebrides, late 1800s] was always kept so busy making history that she had no time to write it...She never thought of herself but as an ordinary woman doing an ordinary woman's work." --John Inglis, of his wife

"Next to the support Margaret Paton gave to her husband, her greatest service lay in the nurturing of the children which she gave to the world. The cause of seeking missionaries began in the Patons' own home, and they were honored by Christ in the calling of all their four children to the work of the Gospel. " I think this next part is quite my life goal:

"Her influence over her children was deep and permanent. There was in her nature a rare combination of saintliness and humanness, that made the Christian life very real and winsome to all with whom she came into touch. her life was, in her own words, 'a pure white-heart of love for her children.'" ~Francis H. L. Paton, of his mother

(all quotes from aforesaid Introduction)

Some principles and thought-habits I am trying to cultivate as I prepare to build by own home, because I know that "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish woman tears hers down. (Proverbs 14:1--yikes!). I'm enjoying and benefitting from Margaret Paton's example and words. She's very real-- funny at times, and always honest. What a woman! Look her up! :)

--Christina, very happy in Louisville

Home!

"When you lay me down to die/
I'll open up my eyes on skies I've never known/
In the place where I belong,/
And I'll realize His love is just another word
for Home."
~Andrew Peterson, "Lay Me Down [to Die]"

"And I think my home is just Heaven's reflection/
As long as my home's here with you."
~Michael Card, "Home"

I've left so much-- the big things: my parents, my sisters, a church where I've loved, lost and found again, the comfort of one Tia, Uncle & set of cousins just down the street, and other across town; and the less important but equally present: the home I love, the creek we played in for hours, neighbors I trust, the pediatrician who used to find "kitty-cats" in my ears during checkups, the dentist & dental hygienist that I've gotten to know despite their looking in my mouth every few months, the health-care providers who have all my records on hand, a mental road-map that seldom fails me, a bank, pharmacy, and library that have all my information stored... I don't deny that the thought of "new" automatically provokes recoil in me. BUT despite all that, Melissa heard the intense excitement in my voice as I exited I-65 onto Jackson St. "Melissa! This is going to be my exit for the next few years!" She laughed at me. :) The other night I said something to Ryan about "'til I'm home" and he stopped me- "where do you mean?" I meant Louisville, of course, but why? At first, it was because I did find a place to belong there. I have never felt more accepted and loved than I did in the brief months I spent worshipping and serving with the people of Immanuel Baptist Church. Christ is always 'Home.' But now there's another reason: Ryan.

From now until the day I die, my home will be wherever he is: just as the Church finds Her home; Her rest; Her secure refuge in Her Husband, so I look forward to building my home wherever my Love is. Ryan's love is such a wonderful, tangible reflection of the Love held for me by the Lover of my Soul. My home in his love, in his arms-- what a reminder to me of the way it really is eternally!

And oh, it's good to be home. :)

An Abandonment to Divine Providence

"Everything helps me to Him."

-Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1675-1751)

That quote captured my heart, and my heart cried out "Lord, make this my cry forever-- that I would let all things readily bring me to You!" It also came to be a wonderful theme of my trip to Nashville, as I will explain momentarily. Seems like God was arranging a nice little theme for the next 2 days of my life. Speaking further of that quote and that man, John Beevers writes: "...that is a cardinal principal of his. All things are sent and governed by God, and, however troublesome they are, they will, if accepted gladly, lead us surely and quickly toward holiness."

So my trip to Nashville, right. If you're wondering why I was going to Tennesee instead of my 'new Kentucky home,' it's because my Dad's sister Robin lives in Nashville with her family, and I figured seeing and encouraging her and her family would be worth the detour of a day. I'd gotten gas only a day before, so decided to drive straight out and just stop when I needed to, which I guessed would probably be around lunch time. (I left at 10:15) So off I went, with a marvelously encouraging sermon by Ravi Vander Laan (read an article similar to the sermon I heard) ringing in my ears. "Just how badly do you want to be like your Rabbi!?" He asked. The Spirit whispered to me that today, just like every day, I'd have the chance to become more like Him. And He definitely provided that!

Around 12, I stopped to fill up, and the nice couple in front of me at the pump said "It looks like your hood is smoking." Hmmm... I pulled up the hood, and gasped! My oil-cap had been laid on top of the radiator instead of replaced when the oil was added by my sweet Dad just before I left. Oil was all over the engine- thence the smoke- and worst of all WASN'T in the engine! I quickly added oil (I'm an expert by now) and left the hood up and chilled in the shade about half an hour so the engine could cool off. Immediately I began to think about all the 'what-if's-- what if I'd been going straight to Louisville (through the mountains for the first 2 hours), what if I'd filled up the night before and so hadn't stopped (I usually drive from G-ville to L-ville with no gas-stops), what if, what if... I could very easily have had my engine explode. As it was, nothing happened. What Mercies are hidden in near misses!

About 45 minutes later, just on the other side of Chatenooga, I felt the now-familiar shaking that comes when one loses a tire. "Not again!" I sighed as I pulled off. At least it wasn't raining this time. My right rear tire was slashed-- I either ran over something that sliced through a belt, or it was just a bum tire. I had to laugh, though. How many tires is Dad going to have to buy for me before he finishes the Tweel? How in the world I'd change this tire, especially considering I had no spare with me, and all my tools were under all my stuff in the trunk, I didn't know. So I did the sensible thing. I called my Daddy. Why did I ever think being a Daddy's Girl was such a negative thing?

"You're not gonna believe this..." I started. He was not surprised at all, lol. I think he was expecting at least one minor mishap on this trip. I was overdue for one. Well, let me just tell you that having a father who both desires and is able to care for you is WONDERFUL! He "just happened" to be at his computer, and was quickly able to pull up my location on a map, locate the nearest service station, call a towing company to get me, and pay for any repairs or parts Max'd need. I got picked up, Max got all fixed up, and we were on the road again in under an hour and a half!

While at the service-station, enjoying the air-conditioning at the hottest part of the day (otherwise I'd have been sweating and being further sun-burned in my au natural car), I grabbed the first book I could get out of my bag-- a little book from a dear friend, Jacqui. Its title forms the title of this post, and gave birth to most of this entry's forethought. I haven't finished it yet, but I'll let ya know how it goes. Immediately I was struck by the "coincidence" of me reading THIS book at THIS time, in THIS place. Divine providence indeed.

The service-station guys treated me very kindly, going out of their ways to get "the little lady's" tire replaced lickity-split, and cleaning my engine of the oil that was everywhere. One guy even drew me a diagram to tell me where a little leak in a radiator gasket was. Very cool. They seemed singularly impressed with my Dad's care for me. It actually provided me with an opportunity to be more public in my thanksgiving for my Dad-- letting them know I count it a BLESSING, God's kindness, to have a father who looks out for me. As I left, the owner called out, "You make sure you call your Daddy to tell him you're on the road again, all right?!" And I did.

"It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance..." (Rom. 2:4, paraphrase)

So many near-misses, so many instances where God kept me and even my belongings from serious harm or detriment. In this world of sin there are no guarantees except that bad things WILL happen. But Divine Providence has bound Himself by Covenant to guarantee that each turn of fate's wheel, however minute, is meant to bring the Christian nearer Himself. "In Thy presence is fullness of joy"-- God is always plotting for our JOY! (Psalm 16:11) Every one of those experiences was a chance for me to grow in trust in my Father, to see anew the way He's blessed me with the love of my family, to marvel at the precision and restraint of "calamity" He allows and to give thanks for a joyful spirit, and humor!, amidst all the setbacks. I'd much rather be thankful than worried or stressed!! Makes life much more enjoyable-- most likely because it draws me nearer to Jesus.

I listened to John Piper's sermon, "Ruth: the Best is Yet to Come" (on Ruth 4) this morning, and it was right along these lines. "God is plotting for our joy even as we bellyache at Him!" I am resolved to skip the bellyaching and go straight to the rejoicing. So remind me of that when I don't. :)

Full of joy and fully thankful,

--Christina ...two states closer to Ryan...

"The truly faithful soul accepts all things as a manifestation of God's grace, ignores itself and thinks only of what God is doing." ~J-P de C

'Prayed for Daily'

I found this card from my Mother last week, and glued it in my journal as a perfect summary of the blessings my eyes have become aware of as I packed:

1. there has never been a time when I was unloved-- cards from family, friends, even my babysitter abounded!
2. I've been priveleged with singularly good theological teaching, surrounded by it! What a blessing to have my thoughts taught so young!

Valentine's Day 2004

"Dear Christina,

You are prayed for daily and will always have your mother's love. (heart) More importantly than this is the heavenly love that's promised to you unconditionally. He has shown you great love in these past few weeks through this hard trial. What love to minister to you through so many people, songs, books and His Word. "Oh love that will not let you go!" I love you.

Mom"

What evidence of love, both hers, and His.

Full of thanksgiving and brimming with love,

--Christina

In My Father's House

My last morning in my father's house. Quite an alien feeling, to wake up to a room mostly devoid of all the things that made it familiarly "mine"-- the pictures on the wall, the bulletin board covered with snapshots, the carefully organized books, the clothes in the closet. All that remains is a pile of empty boxes/folders/mailing envelopes (evidence of my "stuff"-purges), some random things I didn't have the energy to appropriately place last night, and my overnight bag that will be stowed in the front seat next to me when I stop this afternoon at my aunt's house. My car is packed-- not exactly as full as it will go, but certainly as heavy. My Dad used his keen engineering eye to get it in the best possible way, then went to bed, leaving Jonathan (Suit) and me to realize that he didn't put any of my clothing in...so out half of it came, and we spent the next half hour maneuvering, sweating and just staring from the non-fitting-items to each other. "I assume you have a plan for that?" I asked him at one point as he heave-hoed. "Not really...." he answered. So we stared some more. Anyway we got it good enough. "Don't get in a car wreck" was his friendly advice to me. Yeah. As if I'd want to deal with ALL my stuff ALL over someplace. So I'll be driving safely. :)

So many thoughts as I've packed and sorted. A lot about the freedom that comes from SIMPLE living-- ixnay on the ack-ratingpay from here on out! ... a lot about how blessed I've been to be so surrounded by good teaching and by love fro my entire life. A lot about how weird a little kid I was. :) Creative, but also SUPER-attentive to detail, and slightly addicted to list-making.

I've left before, spent months or even years away from living under this roof. I've called all three bedrooms in this house "mine" at some point or another, and for a while got just the couch over breaks. But this morning is different somehow. I guess it's the knowledge that I won't be coming back-- not as Christina Maria Thompson, anyway. Oh dear, let's hope there are no tears today. I'm trying to save my breakdown for at least another few days. It's time for this arrow to be shot from the quiver. My parents have polished, straightened and sharpened it- me- for the past 21 years. They trust, and expect it to fly straight and true. May I make them proud!

The room grows brighter. It's getting lighter outside. Time keeps passing. I want to leave a clean room for my mama, which is why I'm up early. So I'll go to it then!

...packing..

"Oh, it's hard to imagine the freedom we find
from the things that we leave behind."

--Michael Card

Trying to get to that point... it's hard to know what's junk, what's worth carting around, what's good enough to give away. Some things- letters, work, pieces of mail, the wacked-out stories I wrote as a kid- part of me wants to save so that Ryan can see them and know that part of my history. We are made up of so many memories, so many pieces. Maybe I think he deserves fair warning. :)

I've hit on a partial solution of stapling/gluing/somehow affixing those momentos into the chronologically appropriate journal. Oh, yes. There are now 40 of them, not including the notebooks full of sermon notes, poetry, and 'collects'! I am nothing if not a chronicler!

Beach Vacation

Well, I've been non- blogging for a while now. I claim the 'I was on vacation' excuse for last week. My family and I went to the beach (my favorite vacation spot every year. except for that time my Dad & I went to Oxford-- that was my favorite that year). It was a sunny, scrapbookin', Boggle-playin' adventure in North Myrtle.

Here's a picture from the week... we're all nice and golden crispy. :) Ok. Back to wedding stuff and packing!! 66 days...

~ Christina

wedding countdown...

75 days to go!!!!

WOOOOHOOOO!!!


...nothing real special about 75... it just seems rather small! :)

Final Reflection

As yesterday was my last day at Sue Cleveland, I thought it would be appropriate to post my final entry from my teaching journal. Some of you will recognize several of these points from my previous "Things Learned" list. I've been keeping it going, and here it is in final form:

Things I've learned through student teaching:
- children will lick any envelope given them.
- two excellent composers of children's choral music: Andy Beck, Linda Spaveck
- all solemn men in paintings are presidents. Most likely George Washington.
- glue guns and Post-it Notes are your friends
- the floors in primary classrooms are tile for a reason: summed up in one word, "moppable"
- the inventor of the laminating machine is worthy of a Nobel Prize
- there's a such thing as a task analysis, and consequences when you forget it
- they're always watching. Always.
- they always copy you. Especially when you hope they WEREN'T watching
- love the secretary and janitor-- they are very important Friends to have.
- your first name is "Miss"
- Squidward plays the clarinet
- explosions and natural disasters are the best motivators for boys starting in 4th grade. maybe before...
- children find routine comforting: if you don't give them a routine, they'll make one, even if it's something as simple as saying "bringit around town!" every time they warm up their bodies for singing.
- children are people. Small, yes. Incomplete? no. They have feelings, backgrounds, opinions, likes, dislikes, fears and hopes just like anybody else.
- kids tune out talking. but they're ALWAYS watching (see previous point).
- "ta ta ti-ti ta" is a universally shushing rhythm
- anything you say in class can and will be used against you :)
- you have the right to remain silent.
- laughing is infectious, and SO much fun
- just like everyone else, kids want to know 1) that you know what you're talking about and 2)that you care about who you're talking to
- no one likes to be shouted at
- teachers ask their kids for a lot of humility and teachability. I need to acknowledge that I'm asking them of them, and model both traits.
- tell a kid a story, you've got his attention; listen to HIS story, you've got a friend for life
- (the core belief of our school's Multi-Age classes:) "Tell me…I forget, Show me…I remember, Involve me…I understand!"
- they say teaching never pays enough, but they also say that no amount of money could buy the influence and reward a teacher gets. I've seen that both can be true... but more than either, I've learned this: a teacher must work for a Greater "well done, good and faithful servant." The kids won't know, can't know how much they should appreciate, and sometimes the burden will be too great to carry and the teacher will fall. Without a Higher Judge, there will be no room for grace, and a huge thirst for thanks that could never be satisfied. I'm aiming for that Greater Smile, and choosing to see it in the face of every student I have.

It's so me...

My fiancé sent me this, saying it reminded him of me... HAH.

Those of you who knew me freshman year might recall the little music video my roommate and I produced... to a certain song... But I would never analyse a pop song as I heard it, certainly not out loud.

Ok... maybe I would on occasion.

Ok... maybe I do on occasion.

Ok... maybe I should just take out the maybe and occasion.

Ok... I'm a music major, what do you expect!?

Pop songs are musically boring, anyway. All those I-vi-IV-V progressions...

My beloved knows me well. That's reason to grin. =D

Professional Discouragement

The past two days have been rough. I think part of it is that both Robin & I are going long stretches of time without seeing our significant others. :) I'm slightly used to it by now (not that I like it any better), but she isn't. Today I think I succeeded in finally cheering her up a little. :) I've been "counting down the days." The kids always wonder why there's a giant star on May 18th on Miss Thompson's wall calandar...

Day 43, Tuesday May 8th:
It's wonderful to once again watch Robin teach. I learn so much just watching her, especially now that I've had some experiences of my own. Today was the start of a new instructional week, and I dropped 1st and 2nd grades. [...]

As a teacher, I'm personally discouraged. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse instead of better and better. I'm just so completely tired, all the time, and I think it's affecting my teaching. I honestly don't think it's that I'm not preparing or caring...it's like I can't remember everything when I get in front of the kids all of a sudden. Mentally I sort of freeze. And even getting ready takes me twice as long. Then I have to go back and correct or re-do half of it anyway because in my fatigue I did it wrong the first time. I can't keep functioning much longer on this little rest. I almost wonder if it would be better for the kids for me to just go to bed, and make up whatever we're doing the next day, when I can actually process up to speed. I know I can't do that, and I certainly won't. I think the worst is passed-- everything is done for this week, and next week I'll just be doing K5, and that lesson's already planned. It's so hard to plan lessons, teach all day, get lessons ready, and attend school-related functions, especially when I have to work two other jobs on the weekends and fulfill numerous responsibilities. It's letting me know three things: that in my first years as a teacher under no circumstances do I want to teach full-time and do ANYTHING else; that since the teaching internship consumes the energy of any full-time job, it should be PAID as such; and that planning lesson units (if no more than skeletal outlines) while NOT teaching (summer!) will relieve so much pressure!!

Maybe I'm just being harder on myself as I go, I don't know. I want to do right by these kids, by Robin, and by Furman. ...at least there's only two more weeks to go.

Mystified

Again from my journal:

Day 41, Friday May 4th:
The variation in the responses of different children to the same "system" is remarkable to me. One student got a low grade on his assignment, largely through lack of effort, and spent today's class working as hard as he could. Not only did he make up last week's assignment, he also did well on today's and was able to receive his reward-- time on the laptops (doing more work- they just didn't know that's what it was). Another student likewise received a poor grade, but spent the entire class period walking around looking at other people's grades, moping when his was lower than theirs, and doing absolutely nothing productive. Was the difference simply the personality of the child, or maybe each's environment? If one comes from a home with consistant consequences, with appropriate praise and appropriate disapproval, but one does not, that might make the difference. I know that the first student understood that his grade was fair. The other one should have known that, but I wonder if he somehow missed that. I know I would find it quite demoralizing to have to work under circumstances I deemed to be unfair. ...

Most mystifying of all to me were the students who did really well on last week's assignment, yet put forth NO effort to similarly succeed this time. One boy, "Josh" got a perfect score on last week's assignment, but spent THIS class period lying face down on the floor. I answered his questions as patiently as I could (which was difficult!), and after class Robin told me she'd also worked with him twice. What had been the problem? Looking at what he had written, and after talking to him, I think he just didn't want to take the time to erase the first things he'd written (which he then realized were incorrect), and he didn't want to wait his turn to get his work checked by me. It shocked me a little that any student would be so lazy, to his own detriment! I would never have thought of such an attitude at his age! But... all in all the lessons went well today. I love it that we get them to work really hard for a reward of more work! And they love it! :)

Grace in Teaching

From my teaching journal. I joke about how I never knew God's grace often resembled a steaming dark liquid until I started teaching. :)

Day 40, Thursday May 3rd:

Today was proof to me that learning, or even successful lesson-flow, is NOT dependant on how well I, the teacher, feel coming into it. I woke up this morning absolutely exausted, not quite sure how I was going to make it through the day on zero energy, much less teach all day! Maybe it was the cup of coffee, maybe it was just grace, but lessons went great. I think I hit on a good way to maximize the time in our class, minimize my talking, let the kids hear their compositions, allow them to revise their first drafts, and force them to compose! The laptops became a motivating tool-- never knew what a handy trick it was to turn an ends into a means! I also liked how this showed the students who didn't take the first assignment (or me) seriously that I DO mean business: the standards of expectations are high, and that their choice to do less than their best had very natural consequences. They were the ones who had to spend the whole class revising rather than going straight to a laptop. But it also gave them a second chance, one they took gladly. Robin gave me high praise on the way I ran the class, with students working on their revision, then coming up to me at my desk to check off their work (or more often, to guide further correction), and then moving to the laptops where they had a "map" (written instructions). It was a bit chaotic-sounding, with kids queuing by my desk, but it was worth it. "Not every class can be that way, but for composing, it really NEEDS to be that way" she said. I think it was learning noise :)... the students seemed to benefit from the individual "conference time" they got when they were up at my desk. I don't know how I would have done it if Robin hadn't been there to monitor those at the computers, though! I said that to her, and she said I'd have recruited some of the students to help. Likely I wouldn't have allowed as much noise, either. Anyway I enjoyed teaching despite my bleak outlook on life in general when I rolled out of bed this morning.

Books Illustrated

It would seem that Jacqui and I have developed a habit of illustrating photographically the books on engagement/marriage which I'm currently reading. And being otherwise random, hehehe...

Here we were imitating the cover of Wilson's book Reforming Marriage. Great book, but the cover leaves one somewhat doubting the book's effectiveness. We hope the couple on the front is in need of a reformed marriage, not the result of one!! They're either so completely bored with each other that they've fallen asleep, or so utterly overworked that they can't sit down without collapsing. Either way...not so much my ideal for marriage! :)

The following could constitute a photographic tutorial in how to subtly show-off a hypothetical (engagement) ring. The ideas are from Dazzled to Frazzled and Back Again, by Ginger Kolbaba. It was a gift from my Mommy, which we have greatly enjoyed, and which I highly reccomend! :)

The famous and effective "Adjusting my contact" technique

"Pondering deeply and often"

"Just tucking my hair behing my ears"

last but not least: "Becoming easily and overwhelmingly excited"

Oh. That's just Jacqui being random. :)
Engagement showers do strange things to you.

They're Here!!

A large box awaited me on my return from school yesterday afternoon. One look at the return address and I knew exactly what it contained: invitations. 350 of them. To my wedding.

Talk about a milestone!

I sat down at the table, hesitant to open the box. What if I didn't like them? What if they turned out horrible in the printing? What if there was some mistake. What if Mom hated them? What if... what if... "Mom, I'm a little scared to open these," I said as I put knife to tape. In a strange role-reversal, she said "Just do it!" And there they were within: my name, Ryan's name, our date, our faces... waiting in all their glossy, correctly lettered beauty. :)

"Mom, this is my wedding invitation! ...Oh dear, I better not cry!" She gave me a questioning look. "No it's not that I don't like them- I love them! ...Mom, this is really happening. These are real. People are going to get these and really come to a real wedding-- and it's not for someone else this time! ...This just makes it all seem real...."

Yay!! I'm getting married! :)

So Quickly Moving...

From an email conversation regarding the paradoxical, strangeness of feelings that accompanies the end of one's "Senior Year:"

End-of-term is sure comin' up fast! I can't believe I'm about to cross off 'May 2' on my school calandar. Today I have exactly three more weeks here! (and only 16 more days until I get to see my Ryan! =D) I feel like things are progressing so fast that I don't have time to feel strange about being one of 'The Seniors.' I'm just taking it one step at a time, and I know those steps will land me outside the familiar world of Furman, with a new strange title of "alumna." But I don't have time to really think about it, because the next step is coming so fast!!

I'll be so glad to be done with school, to be done with being responsible FOR school (aka student teaching)... and most of all, to be able to take time to enjoy where I am before I'm gone. Nicole got home yesterday -- her freshman year is over! Anna's senior year will be ending at the end of June, and I want to enjoy them both, while we're all together. But so much is happening! My kids sing their closing concert Friday night, and we compete in Carowinds' Choral Competition Saturday. Anna's giving a senior recital soon...Mom & Dad are hosting a Graduation Drop-in for the both of us... End of May also means big party with lots of family comin' in, and Ryan!!!

About that- please pray for me: the distance and prolonged separation wears on me... I'm glad, though, that I have someone so wonderful to miss! :)

Spring!!! :)

"Daisies...they're the happiest flowers, don't you think?"

Hooray for the wildflowers I picked on the way home Friday-- daisies absolutely make my day, and there's a field FULL of them, and blue cornflowers, which I pass every day on the way to school. Mom keeps our yard brimming with primroses and verdena and daffodils this time of year...all in all it made for some lovely bouquets. Praise Jesus for beauty everywhere!

(<-- I picked enough for my Mom, my nightstand (aka my Ryan-shrine ;D, AND my daisy-vase) Somewhere along my life I picked up the line from the old nursery rhyme, "...and she shall have music wherever she goes," and as I gathered these daisies in the glory of an April afternoon, the line changed, quite sweetly, to "...and she shall have daisies wherever she goes." Oh to be so blessed... :)

"If you've never been thrilled to the very edges of your soul by a flower in spring bloom, maybe your soul has never been in bloom. ~Audra Foveo

Laughter

"Earth laughs in flowers."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"

Daisies

"Consider the lilies of the field; they neither toil nor spin, neither do they labor, yet I tell you that Solomon in all his splendor was never dressed such as these..."

"Not worlds on worlds, in phalanx deep,
Need we to prove a God is here;
The daisy, fresh from nature's sleep,
Tells of His hand in lines as clear."

~John Mason Good ("Naturalist's Poetical Companion")

Daisies on my Table

As Emma Goldman said, "I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck!" :)

Well, I'd rather have daisies. :)

This is my daisy-vase, which I sorely missed in Louisville. St. James Ct. in all its lovliness was only lacking in this one respect: no daisies!

"...and daisy-stars, whose firmament is green.
~Thomas Hood Plea of the Midsummer Fairies


(p.s. the picture is from a painting 'Primavera' by Boticelli-- she reminds me of the Flower-Child in MacDonald's The Lost Princess)

Senior Melancholy

I attended the Furman Singers Concert last night with my parents, and it was strange and somewhat bitter to sit in the audience rather than stand with them and sing. The sounded AMAZING, and as we've had most of this music since Fall, they knew their parts well enough to be able to mix the choir (voice parts interspersed) which inevitably makes a choir sound even better!! Yeah. They're good all right! Anyway, afterwards Dr. Vick called up all the alumni or former Singers to join them for our traditional "Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "Brown Eyes," and it was fun to join my friends, though I was the only soprano on that side of the stage... I think I may have made up some harmony. I could hear my friend Ryan (c/o 2005) making up words behind me, lol. Afterwards several of my friends --one who's a senior with me, another stood by me in Singers, and another is in my studio-- grabbed me and told me they miss me and what's goin' on and how weird it is to be done with another year... That made me smile. Though in many ways I feel as if I've already moved on from Furman's music dept., it will be sad to make that final break on June 2nd. Here's the Schoonmaker Studios at our Christmas Party (Dr. Bruce is my voice teacher, his wife Gail is another voice prof at Furman and we always do joint studio parties) this past Dec. So much fun!

Only a few more "events"... Senior Banquet was last week, Student Teacher Banquet on Mon., Singers Banquet in May, Graduation... then it's the Dispersion! ... It's not that those events are so important in and of themselves, but somehow they stand for something-- what's that called? Part standing for the whole? Hmmm... Time to be thankful for all the good memories, and look forward to the ones comin' up!! :)

--Christina

What's In a Name?

I'd just like to mention that my sister (Anna) and her friends have strange ideas about pet names. Anna just got a fish which they named Harvey. Last Thursday Anners & I went over to Kristen (also a senior at Southside Christian with Anna)'s house to meet her new kitten, which was TINY!! Anyway, it's named Warren. At least unless they determine it a girl. I thought that was a funny name (because the only two Warrens I know are 20-somethings who are completely NOT kitten-like). However, they maintained that it was a great pet name. So there you go.

Reconnecting

Last week, I got a mysterious Facebook "friending" (for those of you who don't know what that means... ask an internet-savvy nerd/teenager near you) from someone... but I didn't know the name, and there was no picture to back it up, and no friends on her page I recognized. So I sent her a message asking how we knew each other. The response was an apologetic "No wonder you didn't recognize me! No pictures and a new last name!" It was my friend Amanda, whom I lost touch with when I moved to Kentucky -- come to find out she's had a year full of even more changes than I have! I was thrilled to hear she's still seeking the Lord, is now quite happily married, living in Atlanta, and doing wonderfully!! She also caught me up on the life of a mutual friend, Kelsey, and it's her blog I'd like to give a shout-out. Kelsey's in Denver, Colorodo, working in a ministry called "the Esther House." This house ministers to women coming out of poverty and destructive lifestyles, giving them not just rehab, therapy and "support," which any "half-way house" can do, but also giving them the one thing powerful enough to set them free: the Gospel. You can read more about it yourself by clicking the links of this post's title, or the link to the left (sidebar). The Esther House is part of a vision much like the one Immanuel Baptist (Louisville, KY) has-- to move into the inner city and reach its community with the Gospel of Hope. Oh for that vision to burn through America's suburban, wealthy "safe" churches!!

It's always fun to 'reconnect' with old friends, especially when you get to become friends with those who were once only acquaintances, or find that old friends are doing well! When you understand and treasure the Sovereignty of God, such meetings aren't happy happenstances, but rather intentionally orchestrated path-crossings of a relational, kind God. Jacqui and I were talking just the other day about how much "ordinary" becomes "miraculous" when you look at life this way: acts of God on behalf of His Kingdom and People, meriting praise and thanksgiving! When God does everything, what exactly does "ordinary" mean, anyway?

Hmmm... it could look "miraculous" for two people living completely separate lives to find that they are being simultaneously caught up in similar visions, in two entirely separate communities. (I'm thinking of Immanuel in Kentucky, and Kelsey in Colorodo) Sort of like Isaac Newton and Gottfried Leibniz both coming up with calculus at the same time, completely independantly of one another. Way too weird a 'coincidence.' BUT on close examination, even if the two didn't ever interact, they were both drawing from the same body of research, and living in a time that encouraged the lines of thinking that led each man to his similar conclusions. I guess we wouldn't call it too strange if two men drew the same picture looking at the same mountain... My point? The Church should be looking at the same Glorious God all the time, and so should beat with a strikingly similar rhythm a remarkably resemblant tune. I love that we're living in a Day and Age where Christ's Kingdom and renown is expanding, and there will be more and more moments of Christians meeting with similar visions-- soldiers under the same marching orders. God in His Sovereignty, is re-connecting all the World with His Order-- let us look and work towards that complete Redemption; a New Creation!

"By this all men will know that you are My disciples, that you love one another... Father, I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word, that they may all be one, just as You, Father, are in Me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and You in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see My glory that You have given Me ..." Jn. 13:35, 17:21-24

Very Interesting...

Funny how randomly you come across things...

I came across this thought provoking blog-entry because its author commented on another friend's blog...gotta love linkage (there's to you, Toto). My friend Lisa is in Indonesia right now, learning the language, and bein' a nanny for some other friends of mine, Andy & Emily Morris. They're in Indonesia learning the language as well, looking to be church-planters there. Anyway, she writes well, takes great pictures, and will encourage you if you read them.

So neither here nor there, here's an excerpt I found quite thought-provoking. I've noticed a problem with some of my guy friends drifting from church, and also bemoaned the lack of godly encouragement between men that I know, even if they do go to the same church. You can access the full article by clicking on the date below. Thoughts?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I understand your sentiment about the shot clocks and about the "drive through" church. but what if someone were to come here that normally wouldn't come to a "normal" church like you and i attend. whatif they came and were so intrigued that they began to change their life and began to worship God in the way that He wants us to and then joined in fellowship with a "real" church? there could be some validity in this process. just a thought. -brandon

... Amen, that is exactly what is happening at Church for Men. I am one of the organizers. Men are coming who have not been to church in 9 to 11 years. They are not only finding Godly men and encouragement. They are finding home churches. -Mike Ellis, Church for Men Florida [...]

here is their website if you would like to look around.

the website addresses a concern that i myself have had for quite awhile. the content of much of the modern "praise and worship" movement filled with language of a dating relationship that if a non-believer were to walk in, it would be unclear if we were singing about god or our boyfriend/girlfriend. this is an issue that needs to be addressed.

so with the "church for men" i can stand in agreement with this.

i also think it is a valid concern that so many men who call themselves believers do not attend church with their families. again, i can stand with the "church for men" on this.

the website poses these "big questions"

• What is it about modern Christianity that is driving men away?
• Jesus was a magnet to men, but our churches repel them. What’s changed?
• Why do rival faiths inspire male allegiance, while ours breeds male indifference?
• What can we do about it? [...]

why is that that our church rolls are three times larger than the actual attendance? why is it that those who call themselves believers or identify themselves as christians don't live like it? what does the church need to teach and do to hold its members accountable?

all of this to say that my concern with "the church for men" is less with the questions that they are asking, but more with the solutions being provided. as stated in the news article, the church for men says that men aren't going to church because they are "bored stiff" [...]

is this a valid excuse?

our first question must be, why go to church?

it is for the worship of god that we go to church. [...] the new testament is clear that it is the teaching of the scriptures that holds prominence, and everything that is done when a church meets is ultimately done for god.

if we have to be coddled and convinced and accommodated before we go even once a month, are we even going for the right reasons?

men are supposed to be the spiritual leaders of their family. what kind of leadership is it that goes to church by itself once a month to a church that does things his way? [...]

the church, we often forget, is (biblically) made up of believers. the gathering of the saints is for worship by believers. however, in our pragmatic society, we have gotten things backwards. our church services have gone from the biblical model of the gathering of believers to worship and hear the word of god in order that they be taught, reproved, corrected, and trained in righteousness (just read paul's instructions to timothy and titus), to focusing on getting the lost into our churches and doing whatever it takes to keep them there with the hope that they will be converted.

this is a concern that does need to be addressed. of course a church should welcome all who want to come, but the church is made up of believers! the church is to train the believers who come in all matters of the faith, including evangelism, so that as these members go out to work, school, and the community, they are witnessing and sharing the gospel.

the church in the new testament was not an evangelistic gathering. it was a gathering of believers. [...]what i am saying is, a church that focuses, develops, and directs its corporate worship to a gathering of non-believers is neglecting the people the church exists to benefit.

i am all for organizations making an effort to evangelize and spread the gospel to non-believers. there are many groups that do this. [...] but they are not churches....

the unifying purpose of the church is the glory of god, and that is something all christians have in common. there is something to be said for "dying to self", even in the context of how we order our worship services."

--stephen lee cavness

Easter Break

You'd think I've been offline awhile, judging by my activity on my blog, or lack thereof. I've been "online" for sure, but online applying for jobs, registering for tests (yet another Praxis, urg), answering emails, filling in lesson plans (I HATE LIVETEXT), and...catching up on Facebook. ;)

I set off Wednesday before Easter (after a lovely breakfast with my Mommy) for the beautiful state of Kentucky, to (YAY) spend a few days there, seeing my favorite person in the world (Ryan, duh), and also my beloved Shueys! I spent the nights in my old apartment, #3 on dear 1463 St. James Court with my summer roommate Ashlea. We got to do the girly giggle thing-- she's one of the best people to talk to in my book, because she lets me go on about Ryan, and joins in freely :) -- and I got to make her breakfast, and spice up my coffee with the creamer she always keeps stocked. Louisville in Springtime is glorious!

Sina & Dave threw us an engagement party, with the most amazing assortment of GLUTEN-FREE goodness this girl has ever seen. Mocha Cream Pie, Apple Spice Cake, Chocolate-Pecan Pie, and coffee! ...yum!! Rob let me steal a little bit of his pies that I hadn't tried. It was wonderful to get to talk to people from Immanuel I hadn't seen since November, especially talking to them WITH Ryan. I love having shared friends with him! Lauren came, too-- my first Louisvillian friend (Ken & Raegan can't count). Ryan & I had dinner with his college roommate Josh, his wife Jessica, and their beautiful twins Alli and Caitlyn-- I've heard so much about them, and I'm afraid Josh's probably had an earful about me. Like so many others, they went to Boyce (the undergrad college of Southern BT Seminary), came to Immanuel, and now are somewhere else... [All those goodbyes aren't something I look forward to, by the way. But if it's for the sake of the Kingdom expanding, I'll be glad in it.] At first, it was pretty hard for me to not have many shared friends and memories with Ryan-- we've spent over 20 years building separate lives. But as we've persevered, and made efforts to blend our lives, I've come to see that we have twice as many opportunities to be blessed this way, AND that there is no lack of memories to be made together! Early in our relationship Ryan wrote me a note about building a memory coloring book, of pictures of all sorts of memories we color in. I thought that was a fun way to put it. :)

This Easter Ryan and I drove through HEAVY snow across the Alleghenies to Abingdon, VA to spend Easter weekend with his grandparents. I got to meet them, and his aunt Karen and two cousins Kasey & Kelly. Ryan's grandma gave me a photo album full of family pictures. That blew me away-- I love it! There's one picture of 2-year-old Ryan in Mr Potato Head glasses that I think is hilarious. I wished SO hard I had a camera through all this! Then I could add literal pictures to reinforce our "memory book." Oh, well. (Jessica and Grandma, if you have any copies of the pictures you took, and could send them, I'd be THRILLED!!) Our memories are full of GORGEOUS scenery-- there couldn't have been a more beautiful week for me to spend 24 hours in a car, or a more beautiful route-- Kentucky, Tenessee, Virginia, and the Carolinas are all absolutely breathtaking this time of year. Though we would've appreciated better driving conditions Friday night (the road was hardly visible through the dark and falling snow at times), all the frozen waterfalls and hanging icicles along the highway were beautiful. And cold weather is great for snuggling. ;D

A fun "page" we added was...the time Ryan and I were registering at Target on his lunch break before I drove back to Greenville, aka this Monday. It was still chilly, but warm enough that Ryan took off his jacket and decided to leave it in the truck. As he's drilled into my head, I locked my door before closing it. He got his wallet and phone out of his jacket pocket, and tossed the jacket in. Just as I closed the locked door, he said "wait!" Too late!! Keys in pocket, locked in truck... my purse, with my keys (needed for me to drive home!) was locked in there, too. "I said wait..." "But it was already closing..." "Ok, so we mutually locked our keys in the car." We both laughed quite heartily-- he looked at me and said "Christina, we are now "that couple"" HAH! Don't worry, Target sells screwdivers, and Ryan was able to force a window to get everything out ok... and we registered (that gun is fun!). I had to hurry my intended past the videogame aisle, though...

More later. Time for kindergardeners!
--"Miss Thompson"

Quick Update from the Tower Cafe

Tuesday over already? It's gone so fast...I must've hit the ground running...

Indeed.

It's beautiful here (at Furman)! Springtime around this campus always is. Wedding plans (and lesson plans) are coming along... Ryan & I got a good deal done towards marriage prep: we registered (one down, two more stores to go), finalized our invitation design (and will order them hopefully by the end of the week!), looked at two house possibilities, and discussed everything from attendant gifts to reception menus to questions I - II on "The List" we have.

My mom said the wedding dress store called this morning and said The Dress is in and beautiful! I can't wait to pick it up...when they turn the fountains on here at Furman I'd like to go ahead and try to get portraits made before it gets hot. Looking at HOUSES was weird! To think that a boy and I are talking about colors and kitchens and what kind of furniture and flooring we want, and it ISN'T wishful thinking or jumping the gun... it's so unreal, and so much fun! We've found two we like, and Ryan's meeting with all sorts of people to discuss options this week. I'm so blessed to have a fiance that's been disciplined in his savings and lifestyle, so that buying a house is even an option right off the bat! That's SUCH a blessing...one I do NOT want to take for granted! Same with my parents and their provision for paying for a wedding.

I'm kicking myself because I didn't take any pictures while I was up there. I want to take a trip at the end of the month with one of my sisters to pick out color schemes and all that... As far as wedding plans being hard, yeah, there've been some snags lateley- differences of opinion all around, disappointments and compromises. I was a crying mess last night. Poor Ryan...oh!! I miss him!

Pray for me-- I don't want to be divided! Pray for us all. When four sets of ideas come together (and no, that's not me, Mom, Nicole & Anna as Victor Abarotin joked-- but me, Ryan, my parents, his parents), there's bound to be conflict, even if it's as amicable and low-level as it has been for us. Ok... better go tweak my 1st-2nd grade lesson plan ...it just didn't work ideally today.

--"Miss Thompson"