I Will Carry You

I've been reading several blogs along a theme, the links of which are below. While the theme may seem morbid, it is in fact one of the most hope-full, encouraging, and Resurection-looking topics I have explored lately. That theme is mothers finding out they are pregnant with fatally ill babies, and choosing to allow God to act as the Giver and Taker of life that He Is by continuing on with their pregnancies. They do this while praying for miraculous healing, knowing that God can do all things at any time. Terminating a pregnancy-- killing their sick child-- would leave no room for God to act as Taker of life on His timetable, nor Healer and Sustainer as He chooses. It's also amazingly hard to do, like embracing a burning brand. Their stories testify in no uncertain terms that they've found it worth it. Please read, and worship.

My post's title has a double meaning, which mesh and overlap:  it's something each of these faithful, inspiringly sacrificial parents said to their physically "defective" children, as in, "I will carry you (pregnancy-wise) to full term, and treasure and celebrate every moment of your life, no matter how few seconds we get. Every kick in the womb, every ultasound photo, is an affirmation of your God-given, precious, on-purpose life."

They had the courage, selflessness, and strength to do that, to say that, because they believed with all their hearts that GOD was sovereignly, kindly, gently carrying them.

Audrey Caroline

Eliot

Claire

Briar  (a friend of a friend--this blog is still in real time; you can be a part of this story!)

Audrey's mom, Angie Smith, has recently published a book of their journey, called I Will Carry You. It's available on amazon and looks really really good. (Please comment if you've read it!)

Here is one more blog I've read recently that is related in it's affirmation of the sanctity of ALL life, but is in some ways even more costly than carrying a terminally ill child to term: the long-term parenting of a special-needs child.

Greg Lucas' fatherly musings: Wrestling with an Angel

Reading these is helping me to treasure every bit of Éowyn that I can, and every child that I meet...and if you think about it, everybody's someone's baby.

~Christina

Breast Milk, God's Gift to Moms & Babies

A friend sent me this NY Times article on reason # 356 to breastfeed (ok, so I'm not really keeping count, but there are reasons upon reasons, it would seem!). She commented that I'd get a kick out of the irony of the scientist's comments, and as I read it, I could see exactly what she meant. Ryan, too!

After talking about natural selection for 3 paragraphs, he ends with " “It’s all there for a purpose, though we’re still figuring out what that purpose is,” Dr. Mills said. “So for God’s sake, please breast-feed.”" Hah!

Currently reading/just finished...

- The Man Who Was Thursday, G. K. Chesterton-- this was for book club. I really like it. Still working my way through parts of it-- I didn't exactly read it linearly... Anyway it's very very good for discussion. Our group liked discussing how each "anarchist" represented a slightly different view of atheism, which corresponded by contrast to what was actually created on that day of creation. We also found it telling and convicting to watch the character Sunday go from being perceived by us as supremely evil, to being seen as a sort of representation of God-- actually good-- we only thought He was evil and against us because we didn't know the whole story. A bit difficult to read at times, due to a disjointed style, and overwhelmingly poetic prose. GREAT quotes, but a bit thick to slog through for probably most. So, 3.5 stars. :)

- Faithful Women & their Extraordinary God, Noel Piper-- for our church ladies book study. Wow. SO helpful. I loved how each chapter was separate and distinct, allowing me to put it down and pick it up as needed around chores and travel. The direct quotes from each of the women studied were gold mines, and Noel Piper's editing draws application without forcing anything. I think this will fit into my "top-5-books-to-give" list. 5 stars.

- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Audiobook), J. K. Rowling-- the more I read, the more I see!! JK Rowling is the queen of narrative misdirection; I can see why she loved Emma (Jane Austen), which is a book ALL ABOUT thinking you know where the characters and plot is going, and being totally wrong. This book is amazing at that! For any who haven't read the sequel I won't spoil anything, but I will say that this book does a wonderful job making you lean one way, and then letting go so you fall over. :) So full of mercy and lessons on trust. But really, this is incomplete without book 7!! 5 stars

- The Last Olympian (Audiobook), Rick Riordan-- the Percy Jackson series wraps up without disappointment. The good guys win, and are rewarded, Percy chooses doing the right thing over immortality, and of course gets the right girl. I liked seeing the gods' personalities develop over the series, turning them from cardboard mythological characters to real people. Which is a great talking point for parents: the gods in this book are just very-big, very-old, very-powerful people. Nothing divine or Different in them; they're just stronger and older. How much better is our Holy God, who does not sin, does not change, never is capricious or confused! The bottom line of this series seems to be to give everyone a place to belong (lest you hurt many and they turn into enemies of the good!), and to be loyal to your friends and family above all else, no matter how broken and sinful they are. By loyal, the series doesn't mean indulgent or tolerant of sin, but rather to love them and plead with them to do what is right even if they seem too far gone, and you have to fight against them to the death in the end. 4 stars-- good rollicking fun, best writing of the series, and somewhat fuzzy morals.

- The Spiderwick Chronicles 1-5 (Audiobook-- for our trip)- we really enjoyed these! They seemed to read like one longer book instead of 5 very short ones, so I recommend bringing home 3 at a time at least. The world Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black create is very real. It is original working of familiar fairy material. It also really sounds like it's coming from the perspective of a 9 year old boy; childishly simple at times. The treatment of divorce is sensitive while still showing the deep pain and even havoc it brings to children's lives. 3.5 stars

- The Wisdom of Father Brown, G. K. Chesterton-- I enjoyed this on our trip to Denver. It made me realize, once and for all, that I really like Chesterton's writing!! He provides quips and narrative insights much like his similarly-initialed friend & fellow Inkling, C. S. Lewis, adding wisdom and humor to the point that I stopped and read aloud to Ryan at several spots. 4 stars.

- The Great Divorce, CS Lewis (read aloud to Ryan in preparation for the Hutchmoot)-- wow. I loved this. Quotes from here keep popping out everywhere I write or think. In no way is this meant to be an actual picture of Heaven & Hell-- I found it most helpful, though, as a way of looking at the choices people are making for Heaven or for Hell, here and now. 5 stars.

- Lilith, George MacDonald- again, preparation for the Hutchmoot. --still in process.

- Harry Potter's Bookshelf, John Granger-- wow. This is the book which culls back through the "compost pile" of J. K. Rowling's personal literary experience out of which she wrote her books, and traces elements found in them back to previous literary sources. I could (and maybe one day will!) craft a year-long literature course with this as the overarching textbook, assigning students every book it mentions. What a great way to get teenagers into classics! What a great way to get me out of my literary comfort zone, to try out some genres or authors I'd never have tried on my own! As for this book itself, I am learning so much about the English literary tradition, and appreciating just how steeped in Christianity it has been, and how much I've taken for granted. Alchemy is intriguing to both Ryan & I, and I look forward to learning more specifically about that. I also admire Rowling more and more as I see just how many layers her works have. I feel that at times Granger over-writes, but that's my only complaint. 4 stars.

- Systematic Theology, the Attributes of God chapters, Wayne Grudem- very devotional, which I didn't expect from a textbook.

- Mister Monday, Garth Nix (Audiobook--while piecing quilts)

- My Sister's Keeper, Jodi Picault-- my younger sister lent me this while we were on the cruise together. A gripping page turner, for sure. Basically a younger sister conceived for the purpose of saving her sister's life (through her umbilical cord blood) and constantly turned to for blood, platelets and bone marrow, sues her parents for the rights to her body when they ask her to donate a kidney at age 13. Talk about an ethical dilemna. A tear-jerker full of surprises. I kept wanting to just share Christ with all of the characters-- they are each selfish in their own ways! Problems with the book: while each chapter is told from a different character-- her guardian ad litem, her lawyer, her best friend and dying sister, her dilinquent older brother, each parent, and the protagonist hersel-- both my sister & I felt that the chapters sounded like they came from one character instead of many; the author speaks too distinctly as herself, preventing the characters from finding their voices. There is cursing (I thought gratuitous) and sex; not overly graphic but definitely not something I'd hand a kid. Anna & I found the book over-stated, with too many witticisms and perfect coincidences... Nevertheless, this would be a great discussion-topic, and is certainly well-researched. 3.5 stars

- Harry Potter y la piedra filosofal, J. K. Rowling, trans. into Spanish- workin' on it

- Spiritual Depression, M. Lloyd-Jones-- far more than a spiritual diagnosis tool, this is a handbook for daily soul-care. I'm still working through it, but am finding it so rich, so insightful, so balanced. 4.5 stars (so far).

Thoughts stemming from "Proposition 8"

This is the bill defining marriages recognized by the state of California as "one man, one wife." It was recently deemed to violate the 14th Amendment by a California judge. It will be appealed and will probably eventually be heard before the Supreme Court.

As is so often the case, I appreciate Al Mohler's view on the topic. As he points out, this isn't just a cultural statement regarding the normalization of homosexuality. It reflects a root misunderstanding of both marriage and gender.

I found the judge's statements saying that procreation has never been a main goal of marriage to be appalling...and historically completely false!! My Catholic friends could easily point this out (it is still the MAIN goal of marriage, to many of them), as could anyone tracing the history of European monarchs who wed for the sole purpose of producing an heir. In discussing the issue with friends who rejoiced to see this bill knocked down, I kept reverting back to the Bible's view on marriage and gender. The judge's statements reveal that he was definitely thinking of gender roles when he issued this ruling. “Gender no longer forms an essential part of marriage; marriage under law is a union of equals,” he stated. To him, recognition of homosexual marriage is just a logical extention of the blurring of distinction between the sexes. I see how he gets there. Once manhood and womanhood are interchangeable in role --he says 'equal' though he leaves no space for them being 'different'-- it's just a logical step to say that any human can now marry any other, because we are all the same. Wow. What a step towards a unisex society.

Please check out The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood's website for wonderful resources with a Biblical view of the sexes-- respecting and valuing our God-given differences, while rejoicing in our equality before God as co-heirs and fellow Image-bearers.

I got into a pretty long Facebook discussion on this topic, in which my "opponents" brought up polygamy in the Bible, God being Love, and so that meaning we cannot condemn love in any form, as well as the place of religion in politics. Here are a few of my thoughts from that...

-- The main problem with anything besides man+woman is that the New Testament clearly teaches that marriage is a dim reflection of the union between Christ, the loving, sacrificial, leading Head, and the Church, helping, joyfully submitting to him and helping fulfill His plan for the world. That's why God brought Eve to Adam all those years ago, as a helper like and different from him. It was something Paul calls "a mystery;" something only explained at Christ's coming and Resurrection

-- on polygamy: I think it's telling that the first polygamist is Lamech, one of Cain (a bad guy)'s grandsons, and a violent murderer WORSE than Cain. Polygamy also differs from homosexuality because despite its abberations, there still is a man and a wife, twice. Two women, both married to a man--in this case, the same man. Never has anyone said (as far as I know) of a polygamous union that both women were "married" to each other! It's always heterosexual, even in cases where a woman might have had two husbands. (I'm pretty sure that three-way anything would be called some sort of perversion in any tradition.)

--on "God is Love": it's a big jump to say that because God embodies Love, we can do whatever we want. I sure love my daughter, but there a great many desires of hers I forbid her to do... she doesn't like it at all, but I do it because the things she wants (very deeply at times!) aren't good for her. Shouldn't we trust our Creator and Father (who IS love, as you pointed out), to tell us what is and isn't good for us? IN other words, we have to let God, as Love, define "lawful" love. He says there are some things, some ways, some practices we must not "love." We aren't free to do anything we want just because we feel "loving" while doing it, or say that we "feel love" in a certain way. Because God is the fountainhead of love, we have to let Him direct our love.

--on morality & the Gospel ("Good News"): everyone seems to have clear ideas about what is "right" and what is "wrong." I'd urge you all to consider where those standards come from, and to realize that the Bible claims to be the story of how God Himself condescended to our human level to tell us exactly which way is up and which is down. His Rules (morality) DO transcend culture, and as you read through Scripture with an eye to the One Story of Redemption that it tells, you'll see that. Much of what was hinted at and unclear in the Old Testament is made clear and explained redemptively in the New Testament, including God's model for marriage (before Christ came, it was a "mystery" remember? After He comes, He Himself in Mt 6 & 19 explains what it was always supposed to look like, and later Paul by the Holy Spirit explains even more explicitly what it was meant to be, in Eph. 5. From the beginning (and I mean since the creation of man in Gen. 1-3), God has had to speak into our world to explain rightness and wrongness-- that is, morality. Ultimately, He used a Final Word-- the God-man Jesus Christ incarnate. "In the past, God spoke to our forefathers ...in various ways, but in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son...the Son is the radiance of God's glory, and the exact representation of His being." (Heb. 1-3) Jesus the Christ perfectly fulfilled God's righteous requirements of the Law, yet died a condemned death, and was confirmed as having paid the price for the immorality of everyone who trusts in Him for salvation, by being raised from the dead. He did this "in order that the righteous requirements of the Law might be fully met in US." (Rom 8:2) Christians are serious about sin and being free from it because that's exactly what Jesus came to do: set His people free from the consequences of sin (God's own judgment) and bondage to it.


When it comes down to it, the crux of the matter is whether or not we will submit to God. As one of my FB "opponents" put it, "the Christian's version of Yahweh forbids homosexual and polyamorous love for the same reason that the Jew's version of Yahweh forbids tattoos -- that is, for no good reason at all except the pointless exertion of control over people's bodies and minds.... I owe nothing to a fictional dead human or his mythical metaphorical father, with whom I have had no dealings. " How different from David's "against You, and You only, have I sinned, and done what is evil in Your sight" (Psalm 51:4), and Paul's "in Him we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17:28)

Thankful that His dealings with me are all mercy,
--Christina

Footnote: The Bible very clearly teaches that a lifestyle given over to homosexuality (as a homosexual "marriage" would be), is sinful and a perversion of love (The attraction is not sinful, as far as I can tell, but giving oneself over to it without any self-control is.). Any sexual activity outside of man-and-wife-marriage is called "fornication" very clearly by Scripture, and is over and over said to be wrong. Homosexual lust is the same as heterosexual lust... both are wrong and offensive to God. Romans 1:18-32 clearly discusses homosexuality. Revelations 21:8 and 22:15 make it clear that those living in unrepentant sexual sin are not among the Redeemed of Heaven. My favorite passage dealing with homosexuality is 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, because it says that some of the Corinthian Christians once did live in such sin, and since coming to know Christ now are "washed" and even made HOLY!!

Why and How I Blog...

It's been a while since I had time coupled with internet connection to do some serious blogging. :) The book review site is underway, in the hopes that many parents, teachers, and readers will find it useful! Both Ryan & I are quite excited about it and will be working like little ants on it in the background...

Until then, there are several things I've had smoldering on back burners of my mind. Yes, I know, some of your smoke alarms are probably screaming right about now. (how's that for an extended metaphor!?) I thought I'd like to post first explaining how I think through issues and how you can expect me to present them. Pretty much everything I post on here is controversial (except maybe our travel adventures) in the sense that some group of people somewhere disagrees with it, be it a health topic, parenting, theological, or political. Even our traveling could be controversial, I guess, if someone felt strongly that we should spend more money on missions and less on it, or whether or not we should take our daughter with us, or whether the places we visit are appropriate or not... Anyway, you get my point.

When an issue comes up in my mind, the first things I do are gather as much information as I can on the topic-- articles, perspectives from leaders I trust, direct quotes, books on the topic, and of course asking Ryan, if he has an opinion on the matter. I try to form as complete a picture of the issue at hand as I can. Then the way I analyze all that data is to take it both backwards and forwards. I take it "backwards," meaning I try to discern its originating worldview- without assuming too much or making giant leaps. I try to line these basic underpinnings with what Scripture says, or for unclear issues, to what basic principles Scripture provides. Then, I take it "forwards" meaning I try to see where reasoning along the lines of the presented issue will take us. Again, I try to line these up with Scripture. Lastly, I put all the pieces together and present them on this blog.

I put "stuff" on here in order to both save and create work for my readers. I want to spark people to think for themselves. In a culture where we are bombarded with information at such alarming paces, it's difficult and totally counter-cultural to slow down and pick that information apart and test it. So I present my own reasoning in long-hand to allow anyone interested to see how and why I reached my conclusions. I love it when someone tells me that they found a post really helpful, even when they reach a different conclusion than I did! That's why I try to post a lot of links to my info sources, so that people can check it out for themselves. If someone reads what I wrote, thinks it through, and ends up agreeing with me 100%, great!! Of course I love convincing people!! But if someone else reads what I wrote, and as he thinks through it realizes exactly why he disagrees with me, then I am just as happy. I probably would continue to press that person, as I allowed them to press me-- but if in the end they are thoroughly convinced after thoughtful examination, I still consider my work done. :) That's why I had such rich fellowship with Presbyterians all throughout high school and college-- we knew exactly where and why we disagreed, teased each other about it at times, but never had to question our differences more than that.

I want to be clear: just because I lay my pre-suppositions out and reach a certain conclusion, I am not implying that the ONLY conclusion that could be reached from those suppositions is mine. I know that someone can start at the exact same place I do and end up 180 degrees different. Two examples: one friend of mine keeps her sanity by forcing herself to do a small load of laundry every day. I keep my sanity by forcing myself to do ONLY 2 large loads of laundry two days a week. Another, more serious one: in book club we once asked whether we'd send our children away in the hopes of keeping them safe during war, or keep them with us if we were unable to leave. One club member said "because I believe in the Sovereignty of God, and that He appointed me to be responsible for my children, I'd keep them with me, so that I could continue to love on them and teach them through the war." I busted out laughing, because my answer was: "because I believe in the Sovereignty of God, and that He appointed me to be responsible for my children, I'd send them away, and trust that God would provide for them, comfort them and teach them while I was praying for them at home." Same two starting points, totally opposite conclusions.

As CS Lewis envisioned a saint in glory one Day exclaiming,

“We’ve all been wrong! That’s the great joke! There is no need to go on pretending one was right. After that, we begin living.”

Come soon, Lord Jesus!

Watching & Waiting... When God Seems so Far Away

Two songs to which I always return:
"The Silence of God" by Andrew Peterson



It's enough to drive a man crazy; it'll break a man's faith
It's enough to make him wonder if he's ever been sane
When he's bleating for comfort from Thy staff and Thy rod
And the heaven's only answer is the silence of God

It'll shake a man's timbers when he loses his heart
When he has to remember what broke him apart
This yoke may be easy, but this burden is not
When the crying fields are frozen by the silence of God

And if a man has got to listen to the voices of the mob
Who are reeling in the throes of all the happiness they've got
When they tell you all their troubles have been nailed up to that cross
Then what about the times when even followers get lost?
'Cause we all get lost sometimes...

There's a statue of Jesus on a monastery knoll
In the hills of Kentucky, all quiet and cold
And He's kneeling in the garden, as silent as a Stone
All His friends are sleeping and He's weeping all alone

And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot
What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought
So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
In the holy, lonesome echo of the silence of God

"Pensive, Doubting, Fearful Heart"

Pensive, doubting, fearful heart,
Hear what CHRIST the Savior says;
Every word should joy impart,
Change thy mourning into praise:
Yes, He speaks, and speaks to thee,
May He help thee to believe!
Then thou presently wilt see,
Thou hast little cause to grieve.

"Fear thou not, nor be ashamed,
All thy sorrows soon shall end
I who heav'n and earth have framed,
Am thy husband and thy friend
I the High and Holy One,
Israel's GOD by all adored;
As thy Savior will be known,
Thy Redeemer and thy Lord.

For a moment I withdrew,
And thy heart was filled with pain;
But my mercies I'll renew,
Thou shalt soon rejoice again:
Though I scorn to hide my face,
Very soon my wrath shall cease;
'Tis but for a moment's space,
Ending in eternal peace.
Though afflicted, tempest-tossed,
Comfortless awhile thou art,
Do not think thou canst be lost,
Thou art graven on my heart
All thy walls I will repair,
Thou shalt be rebuilt anew;
And in thee it shall appear,
What a God of love can do.

E-Explosion

I'm amazed at the E-name explosion we've had in our church lately... In kids 2 & under, we have... 3 Elianas, 2 Ethans, and one each of Emmett, Elijah, Eli, Elliot, Emma, Elisha, Ezra, Eleanor, Ezeckiel, Emiline, Eve, Eva (full name: Eva Valentina) and of course Éowyn!! I'm expecting to hear about an Edward or an Eric any day now... When you think of how relatively few names there are starting with E, this is really quite excessive! :)

We also have some rarer names, which always make me smile... again, Éowyn, and Gunnar, Magnus, Jett, Harper, Van, Kaden, Makyra, Jedidiah, Atreyu (from The Neverending Story), Serena & Celine (twins), Karis, Kerith, Tilley, Lincoln, Jonas, Judah, Jude, Jayden, Jadon, & Graydon (though he just moved). It's pretty fun to see the 3 name-groups emerge; the families with conventional names, the ones with obscure Biblical names, and then the wackos like us who name their kids stuff from fantasy, Norse mythology, or ethnic groups...

I do like the old-school names coming back, like Emma, Olivia, Frank, Eleanor, Molly & Amelia. Somehow they sound less stuffy to me now that I've seen little tiny ones with bows and bibs on...

Books to Stir the Imagination- Updated Again

Originally published 4/6/09, updated 7/21/10:
[Now Jeannette, you can skip this list, since I know you aren't so into fantasy. :) But for any parents or doting uncles out there, here is a list of books I've personally read and highly recommend as books which will draw in the young mind and foster wholesome imagination, creative thinking, as well as moral fibre. I've got several young friends & cousins who have served as my "test audience" over the years, too. All but one of them are BOYS, the oldest of whom is now a teenager. SO if they like it, you know it's good!]

- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew, The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe, The Horse & His Boy (personal favorite), Prince Caspian, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Silver Chair, the Last Battle, C.S. Lewis (my gateway books of choice!) :)
- The Invention of Hugo Cabret, by Brian Selznick - the illustrations make this book a unique experience
- Michael Hague's Favorite Hans Christian Anderson Fairy Tales, Hans Christian Anderson- this is my favorite version because Michael Hague's illustrations are amazing. It also contains my favorite HCA tale, "The Snow Queen," as well as all the other classics you love ("The Little Match Girl," "The Ugly Duckling"). My friend Kyle & I used to read these aloud to each other in college.
- The Borrowers, Mary Norton (and all the sequels)
- The Castle in the Attic, Elizabeth Winthrop
- The 21 Balloons, William Pene du Bois
- D'Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths
- Roverandom, and The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien
- Tatsinda, Elizabeth Enright
- The Princess & the Goblin, and The Princess & Curdie, George MacDonald
- 1001 Arabian Nights
- Dinotopia, James Gurney. Just the illustrations will set your mind imagining!
- Ella Enchanted, Gail Carson Levine
- The Tale of Despereaux, Kate DiCamillo
- The Chronicles of Prydain: The Book of Three, the Black Cauldron, The Castle of Lyr, Taran Wanderer, The Foundling and The High King (Newberry Award), Lloyd Alexander
- The Arcadians, Time Cat- also by Lloyd Alexander
- Peter and the Starcatchers, Peter and the Shadowtheives, Peter and the Secret of Rundoon, Dave Barry & Ridley Pearson
- Redwall, Mossflower, Martin the Warrior, the Legend of Luke..., Brian Jaques - the whole series is good, but after a while they all start sounding the same. I'd start with the first written because they are truly original.
- On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, North or Be Eaten! Andrew Peterson (final sequel is due soon!) - NOBE is even better than OEDSD, and I expect the next will be even better
- Meet the Austins, The Moon By Night, The Young Unicorns- Madeleine L'Engle (The Young Unicorns is especially wonderful)
- The Bronze Bow, Elizabeth George Speare
- A Wrinkle in Time, A Wind in the Door, A Swiftly Tilting Planet (my favorite book of all time!), Madeleine L'Engle
- The Spiderwick Chronicles, Holli Black & Tony DiTerlizzi
- Dragon King Trilogy: In the Hall of the Dragon King, Warlords of Nim, The Sword and the Flame, Stephen Lawhead
-The Cooper Kids Adventure Series: The Door in the Dragon's Throat, Escape from the Isle of Aquarius, The Deadly Curse of Toco-Rey, Trapped at the Bottom of the Sea, The Tombs of Anak, The Secret of the Desert Stone, The Legend of Annie Murphy, Flying Blind or Mayday at Two Thousand Five Hundred Feet, Frank Peretti
-The Harry Potter books 1-3, J.K. Rowling
- The Giver, Lois Lowry (sequels: Gathering Blue, Messenger. Be prepared to discuss this book, as it could be one of the strongest appeals against communism short of Orwell's Animal Farm!)
- Percy Jackson & the Olympians (5 books), Rick Riordan- not to the caliber of Harry Potter, but funny, fast-paced, and full of reincarnated Classical myths (WONDERFUL accompaniment to a Classical curriculum)
- The Kane Chronicles (The Red Pyramid is the first, and only one currently in print), Rick Riordan- I'm concerned that he will be writing a volume every 6 months, as that usually means quality will plummit. However, the first volume is great! :) These do for Egyptian legends what Percy Jackson's adventures do for Greek mythology.
- The Heroes of Olympus, Rick Riordan- so far so good- out October 12, 2010 (visit www.camphalfblood and enter the password "newhero" to read the first two chapters)
- The Ranger's Apprentice Series, John Flanagan- fun, especially if you have a grasp of European culture, geography & history
- Dragon Rider, Cornelia Funke

For a bit older audience:
- The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, J.R.R. Tolkien (OF COURSE!!)
- The Children of Hurin, J.R.R. Tolkien --be prepared to cry.
- Anthem, Ayn Rand
- Inkheart, Inkspell & Inkdeath, Cornelia Funke
- The Trophy Chase Trilogy: The Legend of the Firefish, The Hand that Bears the Sword, The Battle for Vast Dominion, by George Bryan Polivka -- although I don't agree with its pacifist leanings, it's well-written, refreshingly Christ-centered, and all this without being cheesy!
- The Seventh Tower series, Garth Nix
- Many Waters, Madeleine L'Engle
- The Echorium Sequence: Song Quest, The Crystal Mask, Dark Quetzal, Katherine Roberts
- Dragonsong, Dragonsinger, Dragondrums, Anne McCaffery (be very careful of her other Dragonriders of Pern books, some of which normalize homosexual relationships-- they aren't the focal point ever, but still... be careful. This trilogy I've just outlined is great, though)
- Harry Potter series (all 7 books), J.K. Rowling
-The Arm of the Starfish, Dragons in the Waters, An Acceptable Time, Madeleine L'Engle (I do not recommend House Like a Lotus)
-The Inheritance Cycle: Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr, Christopher Paolini (the concluding volume is due out sometime in 2010)
- The Abhorsen Trilogy: Sabriel, Lirael, Abhorsen, Garth Nix (another one due out next year)

Lastly, these are picture books for your youngest audiences
1. Tikki-Tikki-Tembo, Arlene Mosel
2. The Lost Princess, George MacDonald
3. The 5 Chinese Brothers, Claire Huchet Bishop
4. The Littles and their Friends, John Peterson
5. The Lightlings series, R. C. Sproul

Your Quarterly Apostrophe Reminder

All right, friends... it's time for your quarterly apostrophe reminder!! We do NOT need an apostrophe half the time we think we do. Apostrophes either mean something belongs to someone (John's car) or that a letter is missing (do not-> don't)
Tips:

-- To make something plural, just add an s (cat -> cats, NOT cat's). Even for names (Szrama -> Szramas, NOT Szrama's). If the word has an 's' at the end already, add "es" (plus -> many pluses NOT plus's).
-- To show possession, add an 's. (Eowyn's car). To show plural possession, add BOTH (the Szramas' car). If the word ends in 's, just add an apostrophe (in Jesus' name)
-- To abbreviate "it is" or "it has," use an apostrophe Ex: The cat is sitting-> It's sitting. The dog has got a bone-> It's got a bone.

**We do NOT need an apostrophe for the word "its" which means "belonging to." (Ex. The dog wagged its tail. NOT The dog wagged it's tail.) If you're (short for "you are," NOT the same as "your," hehe) wondering whether to put "it's" or "its," try substituting "it is" in its place. If it makes sense, you need "it's." If it doesn't, you need "its."

Sorry, friends ...our church bulletin is just driving me crazy in this area. :)

The Flesh & the Law

For several months now, there's been an ongoing dialogue, both internal and external, on what Romans 7 is talking about. Romans chapter 7-- I urge you to go read it!- comes after the Apostle Paul has outlined the Gospel fully, starting with us as all condemned, no matter what our background, be it religious, pagan, or just ignorant (chapters 1-3). He explains that Jesus had to die in order to allow God to be both just and forgiving (you can't just let people do awful things and not be punished-- we kick judges like that out of office) (chapter 3-4). And he outlines all the amazing things that are ours in Christ (chap 5). Then in Romans chapter 6, he starts showing how being given a new nature- Christ's nature- makes us able to stop sinning, instead of being bound by it. I grew up thinking that Romans 7 was Paul's autobiography as a Christian, wanting to do what he knew was right, but unable to do so because of his flesh, and then struggling on to get to Romans 8, which is all about the victory we have in Christ and the joy of His Spirit. Then I encountered a new take on the chapter here in Louisville, which said that no Christian would ever be bound like that, and so this chapter must refer to Paul before he was converted.

So I wondered... is Romans 7 about a believer, or about a non-believer? Why does it matter? I cared because I'd always resonated with this struggle (vs. 15-17): "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." How else do I explain why I so often do what deep down the newest, best, Christ-given part of me hates doing? As a pastor friend of mine said,

The debate about Romans 7 can sometimes be academic, but sometimes has big implications. In my opinion, refusing to see it as applicable to believers "can" lead to some major problems, and an inability to see the renewal dynamics of the Gospel. The process of Law and Gospel, wrestling between unbelief and belief, is, I believe, part of the sanctification process and renewal dynamic of the Christian life, forcing us to live each day in light of Christ. To me, the change in verb tense in the middle of the chapter clearly describes Paul's own present experience. As I said, Romans 7 describes the believer, but doesn't allow the believer to stop there, but pushes you on to ch.8.

The subject came up in conversation with my older, far wiser sister in the faith, Sina. She had recently read Charles Leiter's book, Justification & Regeneration, which treats Romans 7 as describing a non-believer, and had come to embrace that position herself. She found great liberty in viewing herself as now able to defeat sin, and pointing out verses 14 & 17 (in the present tense, so what I thought described Paul as a believer): "I am of the flesh, sold under sin [...] I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out", she asked me: "How could those verses describe a believer? All of chapter 6 has been about believers- us- having VICTORY over sin. How could Paul describe it as binding us, as anything leaving us unable to conquer it-- What about the Holy Spirit that's all over the rest of the book?" She also mentioned how the view of Romans 7 as being a believer had at times made her feel trapped and hopeless, even angry at God for not delivering her (or others she was watching struggling). I knew what she meant, had felt it myself.

So, to sum up the implications: if Romans 7 describes a believer, we run the risk of viewing ourselves as hopelessly bound to sin, powerless to shake it off, even tempted to anger at God. If it describes a non-believer, we run the risk of losing any category for ongoing struggle with sin. Hmmm.

Ryan & I were discussing the issue at home, and when we read the chapter through, we boiled it down to 2 "problem" verses, one for each "side." If it's a believer, how do we explain vv. 14 & 17, as Sina pointed out? "sold under sin... the desire to do right, with no ability to do it." If it's a non-believer, how do we explain vv 16 & 22? "Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being..." My friend Val asked, "is a non-believer even able to delight in God's law?" Either way, it seems a strained interpretation.

Ryan pointed out that he could see a religious Jew looking at the Law (as in the Old Testament, especially the first 5 books) and seeing its value, and actually delighting in keeping it, without being born again. I can see that interpretation in one sense, but what about the present tense? It seems like Paul's describing himself before he was saved (past tense), then switches to a present-day (saved, apostle) struggle. Saying that the whole chapter describes a non-believer seems to violate the flow of the passage, if you start in chapter 6 and read on through to chapter 8.

Why do I bring this all up? Because another talking-session with Sina, who'd done some more digging, brought a very helpful breakthrough, courtesy of Tom Schreiner, a prof at Southern. What if the point of the passage isn't the "salvation status" of Paul at all? What if the point is rather the effect law has on the flesh-- "flesh" meaning what is natural in each of us? Going back and re-reading the chapter yet again, it seemed like a total "duh!" What if Paul intentionally leaves it murky, so that anyone- saved, not interested, or desperately wishing to be saved- can apply the struggle to himself? When ANY of us encounters law, we have the reaction of sinning more, not less. "For apart from the law, sin lies dead. I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin came alive and I died. The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me." (vv 8-10)

Law only ever produces guilt! Laws are, were, given to show us the boundary, and in the case of God's Law, to show us when we inevitably CROSS that boundary, marking ourselves as transgressors. That's what "transgression" means: crossing the line. We sin because we are sinners-- deep down. One day, those of us Christ has redeemed won't sin, won't be sinners, anymore. Until then, the only thing that can ever give us the courage, the strength, the energy, the joy, even the plain ol' "want to" to do what is right is GRACE, not Law. As Romans 8:3-4 puts it, "For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. " Jesus already ultimately fulfilled the Law- perfectly. God looks at that, and for those of us in Jesus, that's all He sees. He looks at me, Christina, and sees perfect Law-keeping, and is pleased. In the down-and-dirty of my life now, I have the same Spirit, the very same One Christ had, and He enables me to obey those same Laws that once only condemned me and made me want to sin even more. I noticed just how absent the Spirit and Grace are in Romans 7... I think that's the point. Anyone who's sitting there, looking at the Law and at himself, will inevitably fall into the hopeless mire of Romans 7. We've gotta look UP! Whoever we are, wherever we are, saved, unsaved, caring, uncaring, we ALL must cry out "Wretched man that I am!! Who will rescue me from this body of death!?? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! ... There is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!"

Look to Jesus, not to the Law. If you're trying to knuckle down and duke it out, looking only to the Law as your guide and your judge, good luck. It's about all you have going for you.

Encouragements

After posting about my ongoing struggle for faith lately, I received several emails and letters that really encouraged me. I thought I'd pass some of them on to you, as fellow strugglers:

One was some wise words from my mom, with my own emphases:

"As I studied the Bible lesson I am teaching tonight about Cain and Abel [Gen 4], I realized that Abel too did everything in obedience and love for God, yet he was given hardship that led to death. Yet Cain lived on. But really Cain suffered the most: on earth he wandered and had no peace. Abel was spared the pain on earth and is rejoicing and praising God forever!"

That addressed my feeling of getting the short end of the stick-- as if my obedience is supposed to get me what I want, when God is offering me way better: HIMSELF!

Another was from a close friend, who identified with my struggles, reminded me of what I will one day become, & what I am called to now. This meant a lot because this friend has been a Grace-filled example of someone who continues to persevere in faith through many and varied trials:

"Your latest blog entry really spoke to me. So many Christians probably feel the same way you do, but are too afraid to express their inner bitterness/anger/hurt. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have found myself smiling and asserting that I'm "just peachy" when someone asks how I'm doing, even as I want to scowl and lament over my own woundedness. [...] As a toddler in the faith, I am actually encouraged by your sufferings. Too often Christianity is presented as the solution to all our problems, and if Christ alone can't help you, then surely prayer mixed with a good book will! [...] I know that I am blessed in so many ways and I do feel a real joy in my heart, but it is nonetheless sullied by this lingering sadness. Jesus, I knew I had to accept you, but do I really have to BECOME you?

Your sharing your struggle speaks volumes more about the Gospel of Grace than your usual upbeat entries. It is obvious even in this time of suffering that you DO have faith, even if it is not a "perfect" faith. [...] It's good to be reminded that you too feel the full spectrum of human emotion.

I believe that your doubts, although painful, will bear much fruit. They already have in me! Even when everything seems bleak, take comfort in knowing that God can still make beautiful music through you, battered instrument though you may be...and one day, He will heal all those dents and dings and you will shine like the sun!"

Thank you to all who have been praying for me. Thank you too all of you who have called or emailed or hugged me or verbally encouraged me. I love you and need you all. The Lord is near in all of you!

--Christina

Eat Your Egg Yolks!

This morning's random research topic was eggs, particularly the yolks. Here is a great article on their health benefits. We've recently switched over to pastured eggs for us, not just for Eowyn. While we were in Michigan, we stocked up at an Amish farm, where they were only $1.50/dozen! The yolks are such a rich orange and the flavor is actually egg-y!! And folks, if they look and taste that different, it's because they have different nutrients!

Why the interest in egg yolks? Eowyn just had her 9 month check up, and one concern they raised was anemia (low iron). Apparently it's common at her age, with a baby's from-birth supply of maternal hemoglobin (iron-rich mom's red blood cells) being used up by now, breast milk iron supply possibly waning, yet not a lot of consumption of iron-rich foods. Our pediatrician's office especially cautioned me because Eowyn doesn't eat any iron-fortified baby cereals. In my mind, there are WAY better sources of iron than artificially fortified rice cereal! So I've been reading up on natural iron sources, trying to make sure our little E gets plenty of iron. After my reading, I am not at all concerned! She's a little iron-eating machine! She clamors for most of my egg yolks every morning (eating about 1 1/2 yolks a day), loves beef & lamb, eats green peas fresh from our organic CSA, and gets creamed kale about once every 2 weeks (not too much since she's still so young). Her main food source is my milk, so I'm pushing the raw (frozen!!) liver, organic beef & lamb, eggs, and lots of fresh fruits & veggies, myself. Oh yeah, and my multi-vitamin has iron, too. I'm trying to be brave and cook some organ meats in the next few weeks. I have it, it's just sitting in my freezer...

Anyway, Eowyn is thriving at 29 1/4" tall (89%tile), 17.12 lbs (25%ile) and with a head circumference in the 90%ile. She charmed all the office staff, waving and grinning, grabbing, chewing on everything in sight, and babbling happily at the fish and sea creatures on the walls (one reason I LOVE our pediatrician's office!).

[She also got her first shot, dose 1 of the HiB vaccine. We are still reading up on the DTaP (the D and P components especially), Pc and the IPV, having come upon some disturbing new information on both of these vaccines, as well as reassuring info on fighting the actual diseases themselves (diptheria, pertussis & polio). See Make an Informed Vaccine Decision by Dr. Mayer Eisenstein (MD, JD & MPH). We got started with the HiB and are praying she has no reactions to it!

I'm also ordering Paul Offit's book Vaccinated: One Man's Quest to Defeat the World's Deadliest Diseases, to get a pro-vaccine look at things. He invented the rotavirus vaccine and is on the CDC's vaccination panel, so it's safe to say he's ardently pro-vaccine. We'll see what he has to say!]

Why Theology Matters

DugDownDeep_Carnahan.mov from Covenant Life Church on Vimeo.

Nine Months Old

Wow... You are so long and lean, Little One. When I hold you in my arms I'm amazed at how long your legs are... how long YOU are! You're just not a cute little ball of floppy fat anymore. True to form, you're always on the go, pulling up on everything within reach, putting everything in your mouth, climbing up stairs (as of yesterday!) and either crawling or cruising around the house. You try to stand on your own, and have done it for about 5-7 seconds!! You weigh 17.12 lbs (25%tile), stand 29.25" tall (90%ile) and have an 18" head (also 90%ile). As Daddy said, you're tall & skinny with a big head, just like your Dad. :) I think you're just smart.

We still get a billion compliments on your eyes. So blue. Two bits of happy sky always looking up at us. "They're the biggest eyes I've ever seen!" "Where did she get those?" "Well isn't she just as bright as the sun!?" You dazzle everyone with that beautific smile, andthen act all bashful, burying your face in my arms or leaning against my shoulder as soon as you've smiled at someone. Sometimes we can get you to wave "hi" and "bye" at people, and if you're feeling really chipper you call out "hi!!!" and hold up your arm like the Pope in blessing.

Your cognitive skills continue to snowball. You gained 5 words in a week-- first "Ellie," then "Daddy," & "Mama" and then 2 days later, "hi," and "uh-oh" (sounds more like "uh-uh")-- though you still mainly communicate by hyperventilating and grunting. You mimic many sounds and words you hear. You usually get the intonation and the vowels right, or one syllable (ex. "no toques" = "ok-eh" or "all done" = "aaah"). You've just started to dance to music, and you continue to LOVE it (and sounds of all kinds, actually: right now you're crawling around saying "dgn!" "dgn!"). You grin and bounce those legs. You've discovered the joy of smacking things, too. When I ask you where Daddy is, you start looking for him and saying "Daddy"...so cute! You are still SUCH a Mommy's girl, crying your heart out when I leave (or appear to leave), even if Daddy's holding you. You calm down eventually, though-- the nursery workers and your babysitter all say you're a happy little camper.

You added Colorado to your "places visited" as well as Waterfront Park here in Louisville. We also went back to Jackson, MI for a week, where you played with Amish children and had your toes nibbled by baby goats.

You understand "no" quite well, and at times do not appreciate it. Usually you are compliant, but occasionally you kick one leg, slap, furrow your brow, and shout "uhhh!" which very clearly translates as "no!" At times this is accompanied by throwing yourself backwards. I try not to laugh (it is very funny)... of course the sinful self-will behind it isn't funny, but you really are a pint-sized person!

You still love avocado and egg yolk-- our morning ritual has become for me to fry up 3-4 eggs, sunny side up, and share the yolks with you. Other favorite foods are yogurt (so long as it's mixed with something a little bit sweet), raw milk cheese, avocado, lamb and beef. You even got to try your first french frys! You love to eat! Everything Mama has, you want, showing your desire by waving your arms, kicking, and hyperventilating. You occasionally get sips or licks-- like of grapefruit, coffee or broth. You eat 2-3 solid feedings a day, and have about 5 sessions of mama's milk. I know they won't last much longer, so I try to treasure each one. I'm so glad you've become a cuddle bug lately!! We are really working on teaching you what "come/ven" means, and also how to sit still in our arms for short amounts of time. You've finally started to realize that books are not food, and are enjoying being read to again-- especially when Mama makes the animal noises, or pretends to eat the ladybugs!

I love you, darling. Mi 'cha-cha preciosa. Your soft soft cheek snuggled against my neck is about the sweetest feeling in the world.

--Mommy

New Thoughts on Mass Vaccinations in California

Just read this and am thinking over it.

I guess the main point to take away from it is that vaccines are not 100% effective; they don't claim to be (technically)... however they are presented as if they are 100% fail-proof.  Don't forget that they aren't!

Cloth Diapering Report #3

Eowyn is now 9 months old, fully mobile, and is eating at least some solid foods. The past 3 months have held both regular baby-sitting (while I worked 2 mornings/week) and travels in cars and by plane. Here's what's been going on in the Szrama diaper-front. (See past updates here and here.)

Preferences:

-- Daily use:

infant size 4x8x4 unbleached prefolds in a medium g-diaper (prefold: still using the factory seconds I bought for $11/dozen) It's been six months of using them daily, and they show no signs of wear. If they get a stain, it takes a maximum of 2 dryings-by-clothesline in the sun and they are nice again. I HIGHLY recommend good (unbleached) pre-folds to anyone! I also am very impressed with the g-diapers. This was sort of a surprise to me, since they are marketed to be used with disposable (biodegradable) inserts as a disposable-cloth hybrid. But two friends gave me their stashes (one with two whole packs of disposable inserts-- perfect for travel!) of g-pants, and after sewing new velcro onto one friend's very-worn set, I've been super-pleased! I just fold a pre-fold into thirds and stick a fleece liner over it, and ta-da! Éowyn is ready for another 4-6 hours. I've never had a blow-out and quickly found the source of a seepage issue (a worn-out holder). I love this system because it never marks up her legs, is easy for anyone, fits great around her waist, is super-cute, doesn't leak, dries stain-free and simply, is economical, and is pre-loadable (helps Daddy and diaper-bags out!). I even get use out of some random flat diapers passed down to me; just fold them up and slap on the fleece liner, and we can go for 3-4 hours.

-- While out-and-about, overnight, or for childcare:

- a double-stuffed pocket diaper (favs: M Green Acre Designs, OS Kawaii Baby, M Happy Heiny, M snap Swaddlebees), my favorite inserts being hemp. Not so impressed with Fuzzibunz... I'm actually trying to pass on half a dozen of them...send any interested my way. OR

- a regular-sized prefold, modified a la this webpage, with a diaper cover

I took 2 unbleached regular-sized prefolds (I have a dozen I inherited--they are too big for E now) and use them overnight (again with a fleece liner) with great results. I still like my M Bummis Super-Brites...love those leg-gussets!

Others used:

Bumkins Dr. Seuss covers (not sure what's up with the mesh in the back; if she sleeps in them it often leaks there)

Tricks & Tips learned:

- I'm sort of in love with this site...

- diaper liners: I cut up a fleece blanket into strips, and use these for my liners. I think they make a big difference in keeping her dry and rash-free. Also make for easier clean-up of poops, and also guard against lotions getting on the diapers themselves. They dry super-fast.

- wipe solution: ~1/2 T raw coconut oil, drop or two of baby wash, and ~1/3 wipe-box-full of water. So far my cloth wipes (just washcloths cut into halves or fourths) are holding up well. I'm zig-zagging the cut edges a bit at a time. Not sure if it's needed, but I think it will help them hold up longer.

- I had to strip several pocket diapers I bought used (they were repelling water!)...after washing them normally, I boiled them with white vinegar in the water, then I scrubbed them with a natural oxygen bleach powder (natural version of OxyClean) with a toothbrush, and then I threw them in the next diaper load. They've worked great ever since!!

- for diaper rashes (rare): Burt's Bees Carrot Night Cream, or coconut oil (raw). [I just bought Arbonne's Herbal Diaper Creme, and to my dismay found it contains soybean oil, so I can't apply it to her!! I have put it onto a disposable wipe and spread it on her that way. Supposedly it doesn't interfere with cloth diaper absorbancy...] Anyway I LOVE the night cream, and also put it on any skin irritation, etc on her. It doesn't treat anything, so probably wouldn't work on an infection, but it does nourish the skin & heal it up quickly!

- my laundry routine works like a charm: hot cycle with double rinse, using ~2 T of my homemade soap (grated soaps --most recently freebies from hotels,-- borax, washing soda & a tad of OxyClean), drying everything in the sun (usually). I have enough diapers to make it through 3-4 days easily. I just bought a pail liner (Kissa's Antibacterial) to make laundry faster and less gross. :) I have learned that I DO need that much soap-- any less and the diapers smell "swampy", and if I skip the 2nd rinse I risk giving my baby diaper rash. :( White vinegar helps too. I also think that using coconut soap or fels-naptha instead of random hotel soaps makes for a stronger detergent, meaning it might be better for diapers.

- for swim diapers-- meant to catch solids, not liquids: a g-pant (old) with a square of cloth from an old t-shirt folded inside (so her bum isn't touching plastic), and an old Dappi brand cover (it had nice mesh inside) that's too small to be worn over a prefold, also with cotton fabric folded inside. These worked great at the beach, and we'll be using them all summer long!

- for pocket-diaper inserts-- microfiber "carwash" towels from Target folded into 3rds. They really do work!

My stash: between each wash I regularly use 1 dozen unbleached pre-folds, 1/2 dozen flats, ~18 diaper liners, 4-6 diaper doublers, ~4 g-pants, ~6 g-diaper liners, 3-6 pocket diapers, 2 extra-absorbancy prefolds, and 1 diaper cover. I do diaper loads 2ce/week.

Bacteria, the Good & the Bad

Two articles were brought to my attention today, both concrning those little creatures ith whom we must learn to co-exist, or perish. Too much of them in the wrong place, and we die. Too few of them in the right place, and we get really sick... Yep, I am referring to our prokariotic friends, those single-celled ubiquitous critters called bacteria.

First, one on bacteria and newborns. Yes, they need them too. [This article gives yet another reason to pursue natural childbirth rather than medically "controlled" (usually = meddled-in) births.]

Second, one on bacteria and reusable grocery bags. No, they do not need them.

Check 'em out!

--Christina

Why I Went to Church on Vacation

Ryan had to work all of Sunday morning at the Colorodo DrupalCamp here in Denver. That left me to do whatever I wanted with my sweet Éowyn to do or not do whatever I wanted to do. I thought about going to church... since it was the Lord's Day and all, but thought about the "trouble" of getting a baby ready, myself ready, out the door and to a totally unfamiliar place, driving an unfamiliar car (a Suburban FAR bigger than my Malibu) in a town where I'd never driven before... not to mention finding a church that would be worth going to, and near enough to get to in time... I thought about not going, about just reading the Bible on my own, praying, reading the Bible lessons for VBS I'm going to teach next week... then I looked into my heart.

It took about two seconds to realize just how much I was in need of refreshment. I realized just how much I was in need of hearing Truth, of being around singing believers looking beyond the obvious into the Real. I realized, most of all, that I needed to worship. Lately, I've been having trouble remembering that God is Real, that He is near, that He is there for me to enjoy.

So I found a list of reformed churches online, and went to one with a very cheesy name, but with good stuff on their website-- L2 Church, just a few blocks from our rental house. I got up, got baby and self ready, figured out the garage, the car, the gate, and the alley, drove nervously through the streets that seemed too narrow to be 2 lanes... I got there and I heard singing. It was good to hear.

The sermon, on Hope for the Poor in the Gospel, was good-- I took away several things and hid them in my heart. But I think the pastor could have spoken on just about any topic, and if he'd mentioned Christ, the Gospel, and the reality of our God, it would have been worth it. I kept being moved near tears by so many things. Why? because it was True. Because it reminded me of things I too easily forget.

I need help remembering. I need fellowship with God. That's why I go to church every Sunday, and especially when I'm traveling (because I often struggle to make time with the Lord when on the road). Yes, it's commanded... but it's commanded because it's GOOD. I went to church because my flame is weak, and I need it fanned into fire.

Some might think I went to church because my faith is strong.

Nope.

I went because my faith is weak.

Where We've Been

Pensacola signs tend towards the tackilicious...

Our condo-- the second floor.

Our group: Jeb & Chris (guests of the Graduate), Courtney, Me, "Poppy," Eowyn, Grandma, "Nana," Greg, Kendi & Grandpa. Just missing Ryan.


About to tour the old Fort Pickens (LOVED IT!). Gettin' attitude from Courtney... as usual... ;)

They aren't lying about "white sugar beaches"

We also enjoyed touring the Naval Aviation Museum on base.

Ryan & I enjoyed the IMAX presentation of about the Blue Angels. Wow they are seriously cool!

Lots of baby-loving went on...

We all enjoyed the Wave Runners we rented for 1 hr one afternoon... except for the Grands, and Nana who watched Eowyn back in the cooler condo.

We had a great time and can't wait to go back!

8 Months Old

Dear little munchkin,

As I write this, you are standing, cool as a cucumber, against Nana & Poppy's coffee table, smacking it and growling because you can't quite reach a coaster (yum). When I laugh at this, you grin at me, and I can see that adorable mini-dimple in your right cheek. You just saw a toy that we'd left here, and cried out in delight, then power-crawled over to it. No longer do you crawl like a careful automaton-- you've got speed and confidence. You're also very confident in your standing ability. When you want something else, you try reaching for it, and will occasionally cruise around to it, but usually, you very carefully lower yourself about halfway to the ground, and then "plop!" drop the rest of the way. Boy are you happy to be out of your car seat!

You seem to be learning a new trick every day. Yesterday it was giving five (in English or in Spanish). Today it's growling in "conversation." Just before our trip you started kissing us... You understand "quieto" (be still) very well, which came in SO handy yesterday when I was changing you on the floor of our beach condo (with white carpet!) and couldn't find the wipes, and you had a VERY messy diaper. If you'd disobeyed and started rolling or scooting around... yuck. You sometimes show your frustration with grunts, growls, sighs or fake little cries when told "no," proving that yes, you in fact understand EXACTLY what we're telling you. You really like older kids. You watch Magnus run like a maniac, and you put up with him stealing your toys and bowling you over-- and you appreciate it when he shares with you. You play well with Jane & baby Grace, grabbing toys out of each other's mouths and occasionally sharing. Other favorites are your blankies (2 "travel size" and 1 full sized-- any will do just as well-- it's the silky-and-fuzzy combo that gets ya), your spoons, my lip gloss, and your red paci. If you have a paci and a blankie, you put yourself right to bed. You love the song "Juan Pequeno Baila" (Little Johnny Dances), and your lullaby, "How Firm a Foundation," and any silly song Daddy sings to you. You LOVE music. At church you sing along, especially to the Alleluias. It's so sweet!

Right now you are an extreme mama's girl. You are fine with other people (especially your grandparents & family), as long as you know Mommy isn't anywhere near. If you glimpse me, hear me, or (I swear) smell me, it's over. The tears begin and do not stop. You also love Daddy, and are happiest when BOTH parents are right there with you. You make friends easily, too; two days ago, you cried when Grandpa Presley walked away from us, and held out your arms for him to pick you back up.

This month we weighed you on the fruit scale at Joe Huber's Family Farm, where we picked strawberries, and you were 17.5 lbs. You seem all arms and legs all of a sudden. The only trace of rolly-polly baby fat is around your thighs. The rest is all lean. Your feet grew so suddenly, too! Still no more teeth, though you've been "teething" for about 2 months now.

You eat pretty much anything we give you, though only after cautiously poking your tongue out of very-tightly-closed lips. If it passes taste-muster, you open up. If not, you push the spoon away, growl, or turn your head away. You finally started eating meat this month (ground lamb & ground beef), mixed in with fruit puree. You fed yourself your first solids of steamed carrot and red potato, and steamed cabbage leaves. You (usually) eat solids at 11 am and 5 pm, and you let me know very clearly when you've had enough of them and are ready for your "real meal" (mama's milk). You eat just about anything you can reach, including a strawberry (green head first) while we were picking them, and an entire dandelion.

This month you've added Alabama and Florida to your states-visited list, as we spent 5 days in Pensacola Beach. We, with Uncle Greg & Aunt Kendi, went around to see Daddy's childhood homes, schools, favorite spots, and the Presley grandparents' home. You did NOT like the beach at first (scary-sounding), but by the second day, you really enjoyed bouncing out with Mommy & Daddy in the calmer waters further from shore. You tried to catch a little clam, and were upset that it burrowed into the sand away from you! You look SO cute in your bathing suit! Another first this month was being babysat by Morgan S., whom I used to babysit! (Aunt Sina helped out a lot)

We love your many expressions, and how well you express your emotions despite your lack of vocabulary. One day soon, you'll be talking! I try to remember how quickly you're growing up and savor every minute... even the middle-of-the-night cry fests you've adopted this past 2 weeks with your very-sad congestion and cough.

I could write all night, but it's time to put you to bed, muchachita!

Love,

Mommy