Joy in Our Hearts-- Lots of It

I listened to music while laboring with both my babies. With Eowyn, the song I most remember (the one playing as she was born, actually) is Sandra McCracken's "Close of the Day"-- fittingly a song about all the simple blessings of life -- "close of the day/ fireworks and rain, feels like a holiday/ unburdens my frame"-- as well as the deep blessings of the Gospel-- " the marks of my name/ torn into Your Hands" --with the refrain "and this is not what I deserve." Really perfect to remember as I contemplated the joy of bringing forth a child contrasted with the Hell I'd have earned myself with all my sin, as well as the far greater pain He went through for me!

Anyway... the song that will always remind me of Liam's birth is Sara Groves' "Joy is in Our Hearts." It's got a great tempo, great contemplative, calm, intense vibe that is perfect for the work of labor. And the words... wow, the words are great for the discomfort, pain and trial of waiting that is the last stage of pregnancy and all of labor. It's also been perfect for me as a new mom full of fears: once you've been given such a precious gift, it's easy to fall prey to the temptation that it will be taken from you. This song helps me remember that even if I lost my little son or worse, I would have Christ, and Him for all eternity!- and that would be reason enough to sing for joy. This song was written, I think, with the persecuted church in mind.

 I pray this little montage encourages you! I get teary just watching it. :) Pregnancy and labor are good for my spiritual condition. Which means we'll probably be having more kids.

"Joy Is in Our Hearts"

"We were pressed on every side,
Full of fear and troubled thoughts;
For good reason we carried heavy hearts

"It is good to come together
In our friendship to remember
All the reasons hope is in our hearts:

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Christ our joy and strength!

"Now with patience in our suffering,

Perseverance in our prayers,

With good reason this hope is in our hearts:
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Christ our joy and strength!

"Oh, we saw the face of angels--

Many good things well-secured

For good reason this joy is in our hearts:

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Christ our joy and strength!

For good reason joy is in our hearts."

Pearls of Pain

I've been working on a post on brokenness and creativity- on the part grief & loss plays on our ability to tell Stories... but... it will have to wait.  My sister called, and two hours later, I'm even more tired than I was before (though I have even more to think about- sisters are good for that). =D  A line from a poem I'd written in college kept coming back to me, about how Jesus gathered up every broken bit of bread after He'd fed the 5000.  Such a picture of our Lord's intentionality in breaking:  He never breaks needlessly or wastefully.  Anyway, I dug through my old journals & found this in #30.  It was written as I watched a close friend allow her suffering & pain to pull her inward instead of outward, forfeiting the blessings she could both have and be.  It's not the greatest poem I've ever written by any stretch, but here it is. The imagery of pain as a pearl isn't all that bad-- pearls are formed through irritation, through pain-- and they benefit no one if kept within.  Best of all, though, is the idea that in our pain, we meet Him.  As Ben Patterson put it, "He is the treasure to be found in all that hurts us."  (Waiting)  A treasure meant not only for us, but for us to share.

"A Precious Pearl"

We sat and watched the falling rain
You near to me,
Yet sealed so tight--
Curled up around your pearl of pain.

Do you know my tears can fall?
That I cry out
And wrestle doubt,
Watching you weep there, in your wall?

You know it's precious in His sight?
A death, a cross,
A fruitful loss--
That pain that curls you up so tight.

I think of bread, by Galilee...
He never wastes
A thing He breaks,
But gathers it to useful be.

I think of Acts, how He decreed
His glorious Name
And Bride's delight
As end of every holy deed.

As left Hand takes, His right one gives,
His promise stands:
The one with Christ,
Though he have naught, yet full he lives.

A pearl of pain, of loss, of shame
So costly, so
Isolating--
Yet priceless, meant His grace to frame.

written June 20, 2005