Life in Crazy Land

This captures my day so well

In case you hadn't heard, our lives are crazy full right now over Chez Szrama.  In addition to our own precious kiddos growing and getting into all sorts of fun, we are hosting two extras kiddos (from within my extended family) while their mama gets some stuff sorted out.  V just turned 6 and is in kindergarten, while A is 3 and a half.  I also still nanny for L, who just turned 2, 3-ish days a week.  So, what's life like with 5 kiddos underfoot?

Well, it's busy.

But I'm living my dream. :)  Since the time I was very small, I dreamed of running a house full of children, especially children who needed extra love.  As a teenager I wrote imaginary Christmas newsletters updating my future friends on all my imaginary children year to year. (Ryan still hasn't read these.  Babe, you knew I wasn't normal when you married me, sorry.)  Working with children is something the Lord keeps leading me to; I've been told I'm good at it, and it brings me great joy.  So I'm over the moon.  Having kids simultaneously napping all over our house also kind of makes me feel like I have my favorite super power of sleep-induction.  Maybe I should see a psychologist.

In all seriousness, one of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 68:6-

"He sets the lonely within families; He leads out the prisoners with singing, but the rebellious shall live in a sun-scorched land."  

I love being a part of fulfilling that verse, whether it was by bringing home college friends for Sunday dinner, sharing the Gospel with hurting people, welcoming old friends to our family table no matter what our food budget was, or now by tucking in two more at bedtime.

Also, we knew this was something God wanted from us.  When we became aware of the girls' situation, both Ryan and I immediately wanted to say "yes."  When Ryan and I agree on anything, that's kind of a divine sign. :)  (Especially if it involves me saying "yes" to anything... Ryan's usually my "let someone ELSE say yes-- you can't do it all!" coach.)  And as countless before me have experienced, when He calls, He enables.

Even youths grow tired and weary; young men stumble and fall.  But those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength; they will rise up on wings, like eagles.  They will run & not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40

Our day to day routine starts like this:
6:45 ish- roll out of bed & into my bathrobe, get downstairs to start making V's lunch and commence breakfast.
7- rouse V and get her to start dressing herself through any manner of threat and coersion  (Of course on Saturdays this is reversed and she wakes up raring to go.  God's sense of humor is kind of sick sometimes.) As she eats, I do her hair, cook breaskfast for everyone else, make my coffee, pack her lunch, write her a little note, and review our memory verse.
7:40- Ryan takes V to school, which is mercifully 5 minutes away from us on foot.
8- the other prisoners (ie Eowyn, William & A) are allowed out of their beds and begin munching.  Usually during breakfast L gets dropped off.  (If you're wondering at what point I take my shower and get dressed... ummm, yeah... I haven't really figured out how that fits in, either.)

Since Classical Conversations is over for the school year, we are settling into a homeschool routine that we like.  I aim to do "circle time" with everyone 3 days a week, followed by a math lesson (A kind of tags along and the boys make general mischief).  I get the girls at the table to work on handwriting (E) and number/letter/color/shape recognition (A).  Wednesdays we head to dance for E, during which I get to Zumba (the other kids try it too), then library story time, then lunch at Nina (my mom)'s.  E & I do one lesson in Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons about 3-4 days a week.  E is enjoying experiments with TOPS Get a Grip math supplement... during lunch we work on Bible verses from My ABC Bible Verses.  There is a lot of playing.  E is LOVING having sisters!  The little boys absolutely adore each other and come up with games of their own invention (such as the "ow" game, where they pretend to knock their heads against a hard surface, intoning "owwww" and laughing uproariously).  Another favorite is "Jump," in which case one or both of them hauls any object-- stool, book, beanbag, anything else Mom hasn't yet confiscated-- to the middle of the floor, and they jump off of it.  Repeatedly.  We head to parks pretty often, too.

Everyone naps between 1 & 2 (well, E naps every other day or so-- the off days she picks a quiet activity and plays ALONE as long as others are sleeping).  Usually that includes me.  Ryan brings V home around 3, and she goes straight to the kitchen table for a snack and homework.  I often make us some tea to share and she's starting to learn how to tell me about her day.  Her situation has made her quite behind academically, so we started at the beginning of TYCTR and have done one lesson each school day.  Then I coach her in handwriting, drill some sight words, and if E isn't napping, we do a number or word game together.

By this point usually some of the kids are awake and if it's remotely sunny they are clamoring to go outside.  This is where my life is much easier in some ways than it used to be. THEY ALL PLAY TOGETHER!!  Outside they troupe, usually first to ride bikes/push each other in the stroller/ pull each other in the wagon, and then they transition to some form of story-play.  Last week they've been poor people looking for a home, mother birds sitting on nests, Easter bunnies hiding eggs, mommies visiting each other, or cafe vendors selling smoothies & coffee.  Liam just wants to play basketball.  I try to interact with them a bit-- reading books aloud to everyone, playing, pushing or pulling on bikes, doing sidewalk chalk art, acting out a fairy tale (we really like the Three Billy Goats Gruff).  L's mama comes around this time and whisks him away; often we chat for a while (or a long while =D).

I make dinner... I've learned to get the kids started cleaning up earlier so it's done by dinner time.  They clamor to help me set the table and I let them.  We try to eat by 6:30 but we often are late-- either I haven't gotten my act together or Ryan works late.  Dinner is chaos... between our anorexic, highchair-hating-toddler (that would be Liam), an incredibly slow eater, kids still needing various degrees of help, trying to hear about everyone's day and a sudden advent of eye-ball-popping-out and poop-related stories... dinner is not for the faint of heart.  And just about every night amidst all the craziness and me giving someone the evil eye my heart just melts and I tell Ryan "oh please, when can we have some more?"

Dinner is swiftly followed by bed time.  That is one thing that DOES take longer the more kids you have!! Right now we are preparing for Easter with our Resurrection Eggs, which I love doing with the kids.  I am amazed at how much Liam loves them!  He begs to open "eggies" throughout the day, squeals with delight as each is opened, and is a generally enthusiastic nuisance the whole time they are out.  Hopefully he's learning something.  The girls are certainly starting to grasp the narrative of Passion week, and I pray that the reality of the Atonement sinks in.

Once eggs are opened and closed, Ryan takes over.  He supervises teeth-brushing, PJs & final potty-ing, and then reads them a Bible story.  We are into the NT in The Jesus Story Book Bible.  He sings & prays with them.  Meanwhile, I take Liam & get him into his PJs and we have our own little bedtime routine.  He asks for "che-che" and "Bobo" and I tell him "no!  Che che is yuck!"  He laughs and says "no!  che che is NUMMM!!!" (his version of "yum), or he will tell me "Mama, che-che is yuck" and then laugh and correct himself.  Once he's all dressed and holding as many lovies as he can cram into his arms, I settle into our glider to rock and nurse him to sleep.  I love the chance to snuggle him and smell that sweet little-boy smell.  He is getting so big and I know these days are numbered.

Once he's drowsy or asleep, I plop him in bed (well.... sometimes I might read an extra article online or comment on FB...) and make the rounds of kissing the girls & tucking them all in. Usually they're all waiting up for me.  E usually has some minor medical emergency like a hangnail or toeache or scratch requiring a band-aid...

That's pretty much how it goes!

they played "Doggy" in their self-made "cage" for hours

Don't get me wrong; there are times when I basically just tell everyone to sit down and stop talking... when I tell them that the next person who tattles gets to live outside... when I realize I've been ignoring "Mom! Mom! Mom!" for about 10 minutes... when I realize it's been a week since I opened my Bible... when I just want to be by myself for a whole 5 minutes... when I call my sister and add a topic to our "Least Favorite Ways to Spend My Time" list... when I lose it and shout and sin against my children... when I realize I've made the wrong call and need to backtrack... But overall, this is a good life.  It's a busy season, but it's one I'm enjoying.

We are being blessed by so many others, too.  Our extended family helps with the kids in countless ways; pitching in to get them to and fro, keeping them overnight so Ryan & I can get some us-time, bringing us meals, helping with chores.  We also have been so well-served by our brothers & sisters in Christ -- for the first three weeks after we got the girls, my cooking consisted of re-heating meals others had made.  People have brought over bags of hand-me-downs, given us bikes & toys, welcomed us with all our craziness, and come over and helped us clean.  It's so cool to be at the center of God's plan for His people to serve women & children in need ("widows & orphans")... you get a lot of tangential blessings, to put it geometrically. =D

And let me close with a "plug" for the Daddy of this crazy family.  If our family "tone" is of welcome and friendship, it's because he leads in it.  He excels at entering into people's stories and loving them in them.  He's also been amazing at doing lots of dishes and making sure I don't go insane.  I married a keeper.  =D

St. Valentine's Day 2013

Some of the valentines we mailed.  First time I've sent mail to Pakistan!

So glad there are several holidays in winter to break up the monotony of indoor cold days!  I've always loved Valentine's Day as a day to show love to everyone around us (thank you, Mom, for that legacy), and lately have come to appreciate it as a day to remember and show love to the persecuted church!  Did you know St. Valentine was a real man, one who was a champion of Christian marriage, a bold declarer of the Gospel, and ultimately a martyr for his Lord?  Yeah, forget Cupid!

 We had some friends over, read The Story of St. Valentine, More than Cards & Candy Hearts, ate heart-shaped sandwiches & cookies, made valentines to send to Christians imprisoned abroad for their faith, talked about the reality of persecution in our day (just as it was a reality in Valentine's day), and wrapped up in blankets we mailed to Sudanese Christians through VoM's "Blanket and a Bible" program.  I used the Voice of the Martyr's resource pack "Letter Writing Kit" to get the photos, addresses & backstories for several Christians currently in jail, many facing death, for loving Christ fearlessly.

Jillian munching

Two of our other lil guests

Ginger hearts with chocolate buttercream frosting.  Yum.

The full table

Liam, our youngest Valentine :)

Another friend!

Bouquet fresh from our backyard

 

Friends had been bringing by blankets for weeks! 

After naps for all, Eowyn & Liam enjoyed a treasure hunt through the house, supervised by our sweet friend from church, "Miss Jen," while Ryan & I got to try a wine-beer-chocolate-and-cheese tasting at The Community Tap.  Really fun!! Ryan LOVED the Beats Solo HD headphones I gave him for Valentine's Day (a prayed-for found deal!), and I'm excited about reading through the book he picked for us to read together!  PS the chocolate at the Community Tap is AH-MAY-ZING!!!!

Since Nina started the treasure-hunt-tradition...

... she did another treasure hunt at her house that weekend! 

 Happy Valentine's Day!

Halloween, All Hallow's Eve (All Saints Day), and Reformation Day

Liam is always so observant!

Happy Halloween, All Hallow's Eve, and Reformation Day!! We're still not sure what exactly our family take on this cultural, church & historical holiday will be, but it will be a lot of fun... and will probably be a combo of all three.  Whatever we decide, we want to celebrate the day on purpose-- in a way that is distinctly Christ-honoring and distinctly Szrama! :)  We want to enjoy a fun American tradition as well as use it as a chance to reach out to our neighbors and bless them.  We definitely want to be DIFFERENT than "the world" but that comes out most of all in our attitudes, character, and treatment of others.  "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, that your houses remain dark on Halloween..." oh wait, I mean, "by your love for one another."  Christians definitely have a whole spectrum of takes on this particular holiday, and as long as each practices their conviction in love and not fear, they can do so in a way that honors the Lord.

Some articles I've been reading and thinking through...

-- from the intentional avoidance perspective, by Dr. Albert Mohler (president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary)
-- from the exuberant celebration of Reformation Day/selective Halloween perspective, by Douglas Wilson (pastor & author, and one of our favorite religious/political/social commentary bloggers)
-- from the redeeming Halloween as a cultural and church holiday, by Jason Gray (Christian singer-songwriter & Rabbit Room member)
-- from the observation of the church holiday All Saints Day (All Hallow's Eve =Halloween) perspective, from the American Vision group

I really appreciate how that last article ties together the three simultaneous events:  Reformation Day, All Saints Day and Halloween in this way:

"Thus, the defeat of evil and of demonic powers is associated with Halloween. For this reason, Martin Luther posted his 95 challenges to the wicked practices of the Church to the bulletin board on the door of the Wittenberg chapel on Halloween. He picked his day with care, and ever since Halloween has also been Reformation Day."

Motherly Musing

This little guy has me physically exhausted and mentally spent from trying to convince him to eat... some days my chief accomplishment is getting enough ounces into him to keep him gaining weight.  There's a lot of shushing, singing, dancing, swaying, and trying of innumerable positions on my part and a lot of crying, face-burying, choking, spitting and thrashing on his part.  My back and arms are so tired from holding him, my neck is aching from trying to see what he's doing, my patience is tried to its limit, and my mind is working overtime trying to remember all the therapies and exercises I'm supposed to be doing even as I try and weigh the options for care (second revision? pursuing the specialist out of state? cranio-sacral therapy? OT? suck training? letting him sleep?  pushing to eat? bottle? try nursing? correct his latch?  let him eat however so long as he eats?).  It's a lot of responsibility for one person to carry.

And yet.

When I think of today, what first of all comes to mind is his little hand reaching out and grabbing at a toy for the first time-- a giraffe on his swing tray.  I remember the joy I felt at seeing him reach this developmental milestone.  Next I remember the sweet smile and coos he gave me-- the way his eyes connected with mine and it seemed like he was genuinely talking to me.  And then I think of his joy at finding his thumb no matter what his position.  My mind is full of his baby-smell, nestled slurping away on said thumb against my shoulder.  I think of the joy of him, my son.  I'll take all the long hours- for the rest of his life- gladly, for the sake of having him.

And I wonder.

Isn't this how the Lord thinks of me?  Not of the tremendous trouble I put Him through-- not of all my failings and illogicalities and weaknesses.  Not all the ways I make my own life difficult.  Not all the ways my weaknesses trip me up.  But the joy of me, His daughter?  I can't imagine Job was a perfect man, and yet we overhear Him bragging "Have you considered My servant, Job? There is no one like him!"  God describes Himself as "taking great delight in me, quieting me with His love, rejoicing over me with loud singing!"(Zephaniah 3:17)

It's mind-blowing, incomprehensible. It'd be heresy to say things like this about how the God of the universe feels about a warped fragile insignificant creature like me if He didn't say it first. "Oh Love incomprehensible, that made Thee bleed for me!  The Judge of all has suffered death to set His prisoner free!" (hymn by Augustus Toplady & Anne Steele)

Like I said, pregnancy and child-bearing is good for my soul. :)

Joy in Our Hearts-- Lots of It

I listened to music while laboring with both my babies. With Eowyn, the song I most remember (the one playing as she was born, actually) is Sandra McCracken's "Close of the Day"-- fittingly a song about all the simple blessings of life -- "close of the day/ fireworks and rain, feels like a holiday/ unburdens my frame"-- as well as the deep blessings of the Gospel-- " the marks of my name/ torn into Your Hands" --with the refrain "and this is not what I deserve." Really perfect to remember as I contemplated the joy of bringing forth a child contrasted with the Hell I'd have earned myself with all my sin, as well as the far greater pain He went through for me!

Anyway... the song that will always remind me of Liam's birth is Sara Groves' "Joy is in Our Hearts." It's got a great tempo, great contemplative, calm, intense vibe that is perfect for the work of labor. And the words... wow, the words are great for the discomfort, pain and trial of waiting that is the last stage of pregnancy and all of labor. It's also been perfect for me as a new mom full of fears: once you've been given such a precious gift, it's easy to fall prey to the temptation that it will be taken from you. This song helps me remember that even if I lost my little son or worse, I would have Christ, and Him for all eternity!- and that would be reason enough to sing for joy. This song was written, I think, with the persecuted church in mind.

 I pray this little montage encourages you! I get teary just watching it. :) Pregnancy and labor are good for my spiritual condition. Which means we'll probably be having more kids.

"Joy Is in Our Hearts"

"We were pressed on every side,
Full of fear and troubled thoughts;
For good reason we carried heavy hearts

"It is good to come together
In our friendship to remember
All the reasons hope is in our hearts:

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Christ our joy and strength!

"Now with patience in our suffering,

Perseverance in our prayers,

With good reason this hope is in our hearts:
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Christ our joy and strength!

"Oh, we saw the face of angels--

Many good things well-secured

For good reason this joy is in our hearts:

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Christ our joy and strength!

For good reason joy is in our hearts."

Favorites for Infant Days

Eowyn knows how to stuff a bag!

My second time around with infancy and my first time as a mom of multiple children I've either discovered or affirmed my appreciation for certain baby items.  Of course, all you REALLY need is diapers, clothes, a car seat and some place to lay the baby (eventually)... but there are plenty of things that can make my life easier.  I'll list a few of them, and please add your own recommendations in the comments!  It's fun with the second baby because most of the big needs are already out of the way, especially if you cloth diaper, so you can splurge on a few cool items.

-- tote-style diaper bag that can accommodate your toddler's needs as well as yours.  Who needs to try and juggle multiple bags?  We're teaching Eowyn to carry her own things (though her idea of doing that was putting it all in Liam's car seat next to him when we weren't looking yesterday, hah), but there's always a snack, a bib, a spare shirt, etc.  I got my sturdy canvas "Large Utility Tote" from 31, and it has plenty of pockets for easy access!  My only improvement will be making some big zippered bags to separate out my stuff and Eowyn's.  Graco makes a pretty cool similar one, with an internal bag that snaps out.  I like giving it as a gift.

-- swaddle blankets-- especially since reading The Happiest Baby on the Block, I'm a fan of swaddling in the early days, and blankets come undone so easily.  William really likes it-- possibly because he must have been VERY tightly swaddled in the womb those last weeks.... still not sure how he fit all 10 lb-22" of himself in my uterus...  The BEST brand for us has been the Kiddopotamus/Summer Infant Swaddleme, in fleece because all the AC around here means it's cold inside even in the summer!  The velcro's more logically placed than it is in some other brands. I also like this Carter's sweater-knit 100% cotton blanket I received as a gift, because the weave and size are perfect for a tight swaddle.  You can easily find these at consignment sales or new at discount stores like TJ Maxx or Ross.

E rocking the Ergo on the Paris Metro at 5 mos. old

-- Ergo Baby Carrier-- oh the beauty and simplicity.  I still use my moby-like wrap too, but I LOVE the ease and simplicity of just doing two buckles and ocassionaly tightening a strap here or there.  I don't even have to bother with rolling up blankets under him because he came out so big. :)  He loves being held and this keeps my hands free, and is super-helpful in keeping his acid reflux from bothering him after a feeding. It also works for toddlers up to 30 lbs.  GREAT in airplanes or airports!  Don't even bother with a Bjorn or a Snugli, especially past 3 months-- they're way harder on your back and not good for baby's spine.

-- infant probiotics-- we started off with Biogaia Protectis drops, which in one study essentially eliminated colic.  Apparently this strain of probiotic is especially potent against an overgrowth of yeast, which causes lots of gas and digestive pain.  I think this has been key in helping Liam's reflux be waaaaay less severe than Eowyn's.  At the first sign I bought these and saw a difference within the week.  My one complaint is the serving mechanism-- it drops out very s-l-o-w-l-y, and when you're trying to dispense 5 drops into a newborn's mouth that is no bueno.  A dropper would be FAR better!  So either drip it into a bottle of milk or use a syringe or dropper of your own.  This is a must-have for moms who have used any antibiotics in pregnancy & delivery, who have a history of yeast infections or who had yeast infections during pregnancy.  We've now begun trying a powdered form (Udo's Choice Infant's Blend), and the jury's still out on it-- but by all means try SOME form!  (using bottles of pumped milk to give him the powder has convinced me that I am FAR TOO LAZY to ever bottle-feed by choice!)

 -- nursing cover-- super helpful in descreetly nursing in public.  Get one with boning in it (to better see baby), and if you find one, weighted corners (in case you have a flailer). My friend made mine, and lots of WAHMs do, so go support one of them!

-- Snuggin Go Infant Positioner-- if you have a baby with acid reflux, prematurity, torticollis or colic, buy this.  Now.  I have been SO impressed at how much more comfortable Liam is in his carseat now.  Car seats are perfectly HORRIBLE for kids with GERD (acid reflux):  the slump it forces on them puts pressure on their stomachs, with the result being screams every time we so much as placed both our babies in their car seats.  This insert (invented by a NICU nurse and crash-tested for safety) has made a big difference for Liam.  I wish I'd had it for poor Eowyn.

-- Milkies Milk-Saver-- this ingenius little gizmo catches the milk that lets down on one side as you nurse on the other side.  For me, that's a lot of milk.  The design makes it easy to attach storage bags that can go straight into the freezer!  Waste not, want not.  :)

Liam at 3 days old, swaddled and happy

-- Sticky Bellies Monthly Milestone Stickers -- this is just fun, totally non-essential:  a set of 12 stickers, one for each month of your baby's first year.  Stick it on a plain onesie or t-shirt and voila!  You have a perfect new "outfit" for taking your baby's picture.  If you like chronicling and/or photography, this is super!  Available in Boy, Girl & Neutral patterns.  You can get them at Hobby Lobby too (use those "40% off one item" coupons for a great deal!).

--Serendipity Mattress Cover-- the package info reads:  "Our product was developed based on a 15-yr study in New Zealand that found that covering mattresses with a Toxic Gas Barrier is 100% effective in preventing SIDS. Of the 210,000 covered mattresses with this specially designed barrier film, not a single SIDS/SUID death was reported."  As the risk of SIDS increases with each child that sleeps on a mattress, I viewed this as a must-have for our second baby (even though we were super-careful with our mattress first time around-- no fluid of any kind has ever touched it).

-- bouncy seat-- one of the few baby paraphernalia the stores tell you you "need" that you actually should buy.  It's especially useful at the dinner table, one of the few places I really can't hold a baby (either I don't eat or he becomes a dropped-food mat).  I have a very no-frills version that quite suffices. Vibration options are nice, but really, I usually just use my foot to keep up a steady bounce.

-- infant car seat cover-- not so useful yet in the SC July heat, but as I mess with blankets and light jackets while inside I remember how much easier this is!  Hint:  get this used at a consignment sale.

-- the books The Happiest Baby on the Block, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and Real Food for Mother and Baby--  if I were to give a new mom or dad a starter library, this would be it.  Of course, they all need to be taken with grains of salt, but read together they all kind of balance each other out.  Happiest Baby provides great insight into soothing babies and remembering that the first 3 months are special-- you treat infants differently than older babies, and it's ok.  While you can't spoil a newborn, you can train older babies into bad habits, which is where the second book comes in.  Baby Whisperer is all about establishing a flexible routine (EASY- Eat, Activity, Sleep, Yourself) that helps you "read" your baby's needs at any given time.  If you liked aspects of Babywise but found it easy to take too far or misapply, this book finds a great balance, despite my disagreement with her view of formula feeding (that desire to keep one's looks is a valid reason to choose it, or that there might be medical benefit to it).  Real Food is just great when it comes to any question about how to raise a healthy eater, and it's right on as far as explaining why cereal isn't such a great first food, why fats are essential, and how feeding a baby can be very very low-stress.  It also has wonderful charts for eating in pregnancy-- "if you eat anything, eat this" type minimalist stuff.  Get this one before you get pregnant or ASAP thereafter!!

Two things I would love to try (baby #3?) are the folding Puj Tub, and an organic cradle mattress pad.  Anybody know of a foolproof car mirror for rear-facing car seats?  We got an Eddie Bauer one that works fairly well, but it was quite difficult to install in a way that actually let us see Liam's face... not the best design at all.

Two closing tips for new parents:

1. Go gender-neutral whenever possible.  Let your nursery decor, high chair, car seat, even onesies, diaper covers & pants do double duty.  (It's easy to "girlify" green and yellow, and even blue, with bows and eyelet accents.)  Think outside the pink-or-blue nursery boxes.  Pictures of our nautical-themed nursery to follow later (both kids will share it).

2. Invest in quality furniture the first time.  Wooden high chairs, sturdy cribs & cradles and a dresser-changing pad will pay for themselves by weathering multiple children.  Same goes for toys-- better fewer sturdy non-toxic wooden ones than scads of cheaper plastic ones.  (I have my favorite clothing brands for the same reasons.)

Vitamin D and the Breastfeeding (or soon-to-be-breastfeeding) Mom

If you're a breast-feeding mom, you've probably heard-- from either your baby's pediatrician/your family doctor or all the formula companies that send you samples-- that your milk is likely deficient in Vitamin D.  Vitamin D is a fat-soluble vitamin that we need for calcium absorption (i.e. healthy strong bones & teeth).  It's present in raw milk from grass-fed cows, especially in the spring when grass is growing and very green, as well as in milk products made with raw milk (butter, cream, etc.).  It's also naturally found in cod liver oil & fatty fish, some in beef liver & egg yolks, and our bodies are able to make it when our skin comes in contact with the sun's UV rays.  Between drinking only pasteurized milk, staying indoors in the AC throughout most of the summer, and wearing gobs of sunscreen, it's not really surprising that most of us are vitamin D deficient.  The vitamin D that's added artificially back into pasteurized milk and filtered fish oils isn't absorbed nearly so well, because it's a different form of the vitamin and also because Vit D is best absorbed when vitamins A & K are also taken with it
It stands to reason that if a breast-feeding mom is vitamin D deficient, her milk will also be vitamin D deficient, which explains why rickets and Vit D deficiency are so common in the US.  However, if you don't want to supplement your baby with vitamin D (looking at the ingredients on the label made me shudder-- artificial flavoring and sweeteners among them), the best way to make sure he's getting vitamin D (in the form his body can best use, too!) is by making sure YOU have enough Vit D!  Yep-- you elevate your vitamin D levels enough, and your breast milk will become a perfect source of all the vitamin D your baby needs.  (Ideally, you'd be making sure your vit D levels were adequate throughout pregnancy so when baby comes you aren't starting from square 1.)

How much does a nursing mom need to have daily?  According to this article from the Council on Vitamin D, about 6000 IU (50 ng/mL).  That's a lot-- far higher than the recommended "400 IU."  How can you get that?  Well, you can partly get it from the sun:  if you are light-skinned, at least 3 20-minute sessions of full sunlight on most of your body (ie in a swimsuit or sleeveless top & shorts)-- just enough to get your skin to the slightest flush of pink. The goal is NOT to burn.  This article includes a fun little calculator, as well as an interesting connection between preterm birth and vitamin D (could be why minorities in the US have such alarmingly higher rates of preterm birth?  They have darker skin, and so need more time in the sun to get the same amount of vitamin D?) Quote from that article:

 "If you want to get out in the sun to maximize your vitamin D production, and minimize your risk of malignant melanoma, the middle of the day is the best and safest time to go. You just need to be very careful about the length of your exposure. Remember you only need enough exposure to have your skin turn the lightest shade of pink. This may only be a few minutes for some. Once you reach this point your body will not make any additional vitamin D and any additional exposure will only cause harm and damage to your skin."

The best source of whole-food vitamin D is fermented cod liver oil, best taken along with butter oil.  When taken together, far fewer IUs are needed to maintain adequate vitamin D blood levels.  Taken alone, 1 teaspoon of fermented cod liver oil gives ~1950 IU of vit D.  I personally can't stand the taste of cod liver oil, so I recommend capsules or the gels, which Eowyn thinks are a treat.  Read up on CLO & recommended brands here.

If you are a pregnant or nursing mother, please read the linked-to articles and spend some time trying to decide how to ensure that your milk contains adequate levels of vitamin D!  Again, this article from the Council on Vitamin D recommends: 

1. Take a loading dose of 10,000 IU/day for a month.
2. After one month on 10,000 IU/day, stop supplementing your infant with vitamin D as your breast milk should now be filled with vitamin D.
3. Take 6,000 IU/day maintenance dose thereafter, except on days you get full body sun exposure.

If you're worried about toxicity, read this article-- getting vitamin D from natural (whole food or sunshine) sources means far FAR less possibility of getting toxic levels of vitamin A or D.  At the very least, head over to the health food store and get some 1000 IU vitamin D3 softgel capsules-- they are made from radiated wool oil, but it's still better than nothing-- you'd need to take 6 per day to get the 6000 IU maintenance dose, or 10/day to start out from nothing.

My strategy?   It's hard to know how much I'm getting without doing some calculations my new-mom-brain can't handle, so here's my "hoping 'tis enough strateg." :)  I didn't arrive at it by any precise science by any means, hah.  Since it's summer, daily I take:  2 capsules each of fermented CLO & butter oil (in winter I'd take 5-10 of each),  4 each JuicePlus fruit chews & veggie chews (these are basically dehydrated fruits & veggies) and 2 softgels of 1000 IU D3.  Once my babies are 4 months old (so still breastfeeding), we also start giving them 1/4 teaspoon of unflavored fermented CLO (it's super-good for their eye & brain development, especially linked to high verbal abilities, as well as stronger immune systems).  I drink raw milk, eat raw milk cheese and plenty of fatty fish, and stock up on spring butter when it's sold.  I'm very big on lots of time outside, building up a base tan by going out daily in the spring, yes, without sunscreen (I know I'm going majorly against the flow there... but that's another blogpost =D), and clothing on my babies while outside is pretty minimal. 

The Birth of our Firstborn Son

Ponderously-Cheeked Pondering

  For all of you wanting the short-and-sweet version, here you go:

William Christopher barreled his 10 1/2 lbs into the air at 11:07 Sunday night, June 24th, 2012.  This fulfilled his daddy's wish for a birthday full of multiples of 6, and his mommy's prayer for a birth far quicker that his sister's.  Speaking of Ryan, you can read his account of the story here.

For those of you wanting DETAILS, ta-da!:

William's birth story begins with my 41-week prenatal visit the previous Thursday.  Measurements showed that I was measuring 42 cm (consistent with a 41-week gestational age estimate), and I continued to display all the signs of imminent labor, from strong frequent contractions to the passing of my mucus plug to loose bowels and an unsettled stomach to a totally dropped baby.  But for whatever reason, I had yet to experience the regular, strengthening contractions of "active labor."  My midwife encouraged me to think and pray about using some herbal means of induction if nothing got started on its own, using her decades of experience.  Her theory was that because I was carrying Liam so far "out there" that gravity was actually working against the contractions-- which were trying to bring him in vertical alignment with my very-posterior cervix.  This would explain why I had so many of my strongest contractions at night or in the car, but why they tended to stop when I stood or walked for long periods of time.  She counseled me to wear my belly band at all times.

Ryan requested a weekend induction attempt, and we had a wedding for a family friend that I wanted to attend on Saturday, so we decided that-- if we attempted to kick-start things-- it would be Sunday.  I was still quite unsure about meddling with the natural order of things, so I was researching and praying and re-calculating my due date, and looking at Eowyn's birth records.  What I found was that the herbs my midwife was recommending-- blue & black cohosh-- would not force a labor on an unready cervix or baby, but would rather help coordinate the efforts my body was already naturally making.  When Saturday brought several hard contractions that petered out true to form, and Saturday night proved particularly un-restful and frustrating, I decided that my body had had enough of this pre-labor (it'd been going on in full force for over 2 weeks... 2 weeks of frequent contractions, many nights of nearly no sleep, stomach upset, etc.).

Black cohosh ("snake root") stimulates uterine contractions.  Blue cohosh ("papoose root"-- Native Americans used it in labor extensively) actually calms the uterus, so is useful in stopping preterm or Braxton-Hicks contractions (wish I'd known this about a month ago!).  Taken together the two work to augment and streamline labor.  They are most effective when contractions are already present.  Check!  Normally my midwife recommends a castor-oil cocktail to start contractions, and then uses the herbs, but since I was already contracting, we agreed to start with just the herbs.  (I've heard too many negative things about castor oil...)  So at 10 o'clock Sunday morning, I put the first 2 1/2-droppers of the cohosh tinctures under my tongue.  OOOOOHH talk about burning!!  The tinctures are dissolved in alcohol... so I was popping the gum to make sure I didn't smell like a distillery at church, hehehe.  Every subsequent hour, on the hour, I took a full dropper of each.  Ideally, tinctures are taken under the tongue for fast absorption, but... you try holding whisky under your tongue some time.  By 4 pm I was putting the tinctures into a few ounces of pineapple juice (also good for labor induction).  Contractions were certainly coming but were all too true to form:  irregular.  I tried not to be discouraged as we settled in to our family nap.

I awoke at 4 to a strong contraction.  I tried to rest after that, but noticed that every 20 minutes another contraction came.  They were consistently strong, too.  I tried timing a few and they were about 90 seconds long.  By 5, it was time for my next tincture dose, so I called my midwife & asked if I should keep taking them or wait and see what my body would do on its own.  As contractions were still coming, Mereinda recommended I stop the herbs.  As time progressed, I began to have to "work" to get through the contractions, blowing or saying "oooh" in a deep tone.  Eowyn woke up and needed watching and I had a hard time focusing on her as contractions took more and more concentration.  Ryan woke up and took over Eowyn-duty, explaining that "Mommy's belly is getting really tight, so she makes noise to help it hurt less."  Eowyn accepted this.  I was still reluctant to call my aunt Olga- who would be watching Eowyn- or my Mom- who would accompany us to the birthing center, fearing that this was yet another false alarm.  It wasn't until Ryan pointed out that I hadn't had to vocalize through any of my other contractions that I realized something was different.

At 6 we called in the troops.  I ate some yogurt & started a bowl of cereal, and stayed glued to my birthing ball.  Unlike with most labors, an upright position slowed my contractions (gravity pulling Liam forward instead of down), so sitting on the ball or bed helped keep them intense and regular.  They were 6 minutes apart, then 5, then 4, still lasting 60-90 seconds.  It was a while before my aunt could make it to our house, but thankfully my mom arrived and was able to take care of Eowyn (and wash our dishes =D), since I now needed Ryan to support me through contractions.  He rose to the occasion beautifully, doing his reading in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth justice. I texted some close friends, asking them to pray that this was the real thing, and for a safe (and short!) delivery... while confessing that a part of me wanted to stop the whole thing, because it was starting to hurt!  As Eowyn came to kiss me goodbye, she asked "You not feeling good, Mommy?"  "It's ok, baby girl." Then, with utmost sincerity, "Jesus will help you!"  That comforted my heart.  :) Then she was off, thrilled to be spending the night with some of her favorite people.

We headed to the birth center around 8:30.  I'd tried to hold out a bit because I knew my midwife's son's 18th birthday party was going on, but the labor tub started to sound too appealing to miss.  She tried to check me when we got there, but laying on my back was agony, bringing a seemingly unending contration, and my cervix was still posterior.  By my demeanor and the sounds I was making, she estimated me to be at about 5 cm dilated.

I cannot tell you what a difference that labor tub made.  I will never- NEVER- labor without one again.  I'll stand on my head to stop contractions if I have to. :)  Slipping into the warm water was so comforting.  I told Ryan, "It's actually quite delightful between contractions!"  Mereinda advised me to labor as much as I could leaning back, to try and bring Liam's head over my cervix instead of its current place of low but in front of it.  I could not have complied were it not for the tub.  In the tub, the water's buyoncy provided counter-pressure, supported my legs so I could let them float, and kept the baby's head from jarring against my tailbone as he descended.  Contractions were never pleasant, but they were bearable.  Labor really began moving along.  I entered the slightly-out-of-mind-state of moaning, praying, etc., through a contraction, and then nearly falling asleep.  Ryan kept reminding me to relax my hands, to have loose lips, and my doula-training kept me keeping my tone low and to relax as much as I could (hah- NOT natural for me!).  I told Ryan that these contractions felt more intense than the ones I'd had with Eowyn, and he was surprised, since he thought I was handling them much better.  I count the tub & my doula experience for that.

I began to get unbearably sleepy around 10, telling Ryan pitifully after a contraction "I just wish they'd stop so I can go to sleep...I'm so so tired."  Mereinda immediately began trying to get me to eat, but the most I wanted was a few bites of very soggy cereal, so she pushed the gatorade, saying she was concerned about my energy level.  This did perk me up a bit.  I tried a few different positions, but mostly labored on my back.  When I had to get out of the water to use the bathroom, contractions would become far worse.  Even in the water, a few times it felt like someone was taking a hacksaw to my back.  Ryan would provide counter-pressure, rub my head, encourage me, and keep me drinking water.  A few times I was overwhelmed by contractions, having to work very hard to keep any semblance of control, crying out loud to Jesus for strength, and talking to William "move down, baby!"  I remember also repeating "the baby-- I want to see the baby."  A few times I told Ryan I didn't want to do this anymore, or just cried that it hurt.  My first successful cervical check came at 10:45, when I was declared to be 7 cm dilated, with a fully anterior cervix, & a baby ready at +1 station.  I just want to take a second here to praise my midwife's compassion and skill-- she was constantly assessing my progress based on how I sounded, how I described my pain, and how I looked, NOT using monitors and numbers (though she regularly checked William's heart rate with a doppler.). Her voice was reassuring and kind, even as she gave me instructions or recommendations.

By now I knew I was in "transition."  Contrations became closer together, longer, with a more intense peak.  At least I knew I wouldn't have to deal with them long. With Eowyn, I'd had my water broken at 7 cm, and only labored 4 more hours.  I decided to hold off on breaking my water since I hadn't been laboring all that long. Not 15 minutes later I told Merienda that I was feeling "pushy."  She checked me again (can I say how much better being checked is in the water??) and announced that I was nearly complete, with only a tiny little bit of the cervix left in front.  The very next contraction I shouted "I'm pushing and I can't stop!"  Pop!  With a feeling like a water balloon untying, and a burst of fluid, I broke my own bag of waters for the first time. That was a good feeling. :)  Merienda took one look at the water and said "there's a bit of meconium in the fluid, so in case we have to suction him, I'm going to need you to deliver on the bed.  I know it's going to be hard to get out and move, so just give it every bit of strength that you've got!"

Moving wasn't too bad.  I made it to the 4-poster bed, collapsed onto my left side, and immediately started having pushing contractions.  It was absolutely surreal, like a typhoon was sweeping through my body.  I began to roar like a mama dinosaur as the only way to stay somewhat in control.  "Slow it down! Pant a little bit!  I don't want you to tear."  "I'll try!"  The midwife's assistant, Carrie, showed up just in time.  I was on my left side with Ryan holding my right leg bent and at a 90 degree angle.  Mom was at my head, stroking my hair and holding my hand.  I buried my face in the covers and gave unbelievably strong pushes as the contractions swept through my body.  The pushing contractions were nearly continuous, and I found strength and energy in abundance to push along with them.  I only really remember stopping and breathing between 2 of them (there were about 5 total).  Suddenly, there was pressure and a burning and the words "he's crowning!"  Ryan told me "I can see our boy!"  Then they told me to wait a minute as they checked for a chord around his neck because his head was out!  No cord, but he did have a little fist tucked right under his chin.  It felt like a vat of snakes writhing in me as the midwife's assistant swept her fingers around and pulled his little hand free.  Another huge long push, and my son's body slipped into the air.  Seven minutes after I'd started pushing-- 25 after I'd entered "transition"-- and what struck me as a purple giant squid was plopped on my chest. "Thank you, Jesus!  Oh, thank you!" Not having seen him emerge at all, having had no time to process his arrival, it was totally surreal.  In a daze I marveled at his huge hands. "He's so big!" and "I can't believe he's actually here!" were two phrases I kept repeating.  I think we were all a bit in shock.

Mom & Ryan immediately began rubbing him down as I called to him and the midwives tapped his feet, trying to get him to take his first breath.  He never really cried but instead gave a little gasp and protested our efforts a few times.  He started pinking up right away.  We waited a good 10 minutes to cut the cord, and I was relieved when it was finally cut because I was so swollen and tender that even the light pressure of the cord on me was abrasive.  I was overjoyed to learn that I needed NO stiches, only having a tiny tear from where his hand had had to be pulled out.  The little munchkin had been sucking his fist throughout all of labor, which accounted for the spots of awful back pressure I'd felt:  his hand pressed against my tailbone.  He is very attached to his hands. :)

He came out pooping and pooped on me another two times before his first half-hour of life.  He started to nurse fairly quickly, too.  When it came time to weigh him, Merienda laughed that she knew she wouldn't be able to hold the spring-scale high enough to get a reading, since she's short and she knew he was a chunker.  This meant that the proud Daddy got to weigh him, and I was shocked as the scale pulled down past 10 lbs...4, 5, 6 ounces!  Yet another benefit of the tub:  the water softens your perineum so much that tearing is far less likely, as my large baby with a neuchal hand demonstrated.  He was 22 1/4" long, with a 14" head (quite molded though).  "There is no question that that is a 41-week-old baby!" my midwife affirmed, and I knew I'd done fine to use the herbs.

I got everything I prayed for:  a face-down baby, a non-marathon, unmedicated labor, minimal tearing, trustworthy & knowledgeable birth attendants, a supportive husband who was with me the entire time in every sense of the words, and a healthy baby boy with every sign of looking like his Daddy-- from the dark hair to the Szrama dimpled chin and perfect bow lips.

Two hours after the birth, with my mom's home cooking in my tummy and the clearance from my midwife, we were headed home to sleep in our own bed.  In our bags were several goodies, like goldenseal capsules to dry up Liam's umbilical stump, and an herbal sitz bath formula to use as a peri-wash.  I really respect everything our midwife recommends, as so far every bit of her advice or recommendation has proven absolutely right on!  Guess it comes with that whole decades-long-practice thing... :)  We could not have had a better experience, nor more highly recommend Merienda and her birthing practice, Upstate Birth Center.  There is something so empowering about feeling total freedom in your own birth-- the freedom to eat, say, cry out, position yourself, do, or not do whatever your body tells you or your best research recommends.  Psychologically it's amazing.  Even Ryan kept commenting at how refreshingly different this experience was from our hospital birth experience with our daughter-- and we had a totally positive experience there, too!


"Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?" says the LORD. "Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?" says your God."  (Isaiah 66:9)

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  (James 1:17)

Mishmosh Parenting Post

She's kind of a big deal

I've had the privilege of reading a half-dozen really helpful articles that all loosely relate to the topic "parenting."  And, lest you think I spend all my time trolling the net in search of a good article, I must thank my Facebook Friends for linking to most of these.  :)  Regard this as a preparation for Mother's Day, if you will.  I know I am printing each of these out and adding them to my "parenting" binder (yes, I have one of those =D).

Two reminders on just how precious motherhood and care of little ones is:
- "You're a Mom; You're Kind of a Big Deal" (Kat)
- "Your Children want YOU!" (April Perry)
Both of these could also be applied to dads, or even to teachers or others who invest heavily in little people whose needs are so great and whose ability to articulate praise is so small.  Anyone who doesn't believe the impact of a good mom can just ask someone who didn't have one.  Such an absence is so keenly felt.  And God sees the effort, the struggle to do what is right, the hours of service, even when no one else (definitely not the tiny person whose clothes I am again laundering) does... His is the "well done, good and faithful servant" I'm going for!
** EDIT: HOW COULD I FORGET THIS ONE!???
 -" Desperate, Breathless, Dependent Parenting"- such a great perspective.  Why we can't be "do-it-by-our-own-bootstraps" parents.

Chowing down on Pad Thai at 2

-"A No-Nonsense Strategy for Picky Eaters" (Renee at FIMBY)- I'm fully expecting to get a "picky eater" somewhere along the line, especially since E is soooooooo easy when it comes to food (Ethiopian, sushi, Thai, French, British, Guatemalan, you name it, she eats it and likes it and eats plenty of it)... we did have a few "food battles" early on (one around 15 months, another brief period after age 2), and may again, but this article very well summarizes our family strategy! It makes eating out so easy as well as eating in other people's homes (especially the parts about watching Mommy & Daddy eating anything and everything wonky).

Taking time to smell the flowers

-"Parenting is Never an Interruption" (Paul Tripp)- once again, God's sovereignty crashes into own sinful desires to "get done what I want to get done."

- "Women, Stop Submitting to Men" (Russell Moore)- helpful in thinking about how I want to raise my daughter to view men!

My mom with my baby

- "Vaccination" (Suzanne Humpheries), particularly the idea that vaccines aren't effective before age 1 (at the earliest) due to a baby's different immune system.  I'd read doctors who recommended waiting until age 2 to vaccinate due to concerns over neurological development, as well as immune system fragility, but hadn't considered whether the vaccines would even work on infants.  If it's true that they don't work, that will certainly change what we do in our own family vaccine plan! I'm trying to dig deeper and find studies, etc., that substantiate this claim.  So far what I've waded through does seem to back it up.  (Study on measles vaccine being more effective at 12 mos. than at 9 mos.; a study of Hib vaccine failures that seems to imply that the vaccine fails more often in younger babies; and a discussion of vaccine immunology that discusses the difference in immune responses based on age)