5 Things Every Pregnant Mom Should Know...

I love lists. I've had several "5 Things..." lists in my head.  They are quite random, but hopefully they'll help someone out there!  
 
1. What you eat matters just as much as how much you eat.   It's easy to think "any calories are good calories," but that's just not true.  I know this goes against what a lot of people say & think, but think about it:  the baby is made of what you eat... or needed nutrients are pulled from your storehouses, including teeth, muscles, organs and bones.  Not a good situation for you there!  Seek to eat nutrient-dense foods in whatever quantities you need to stay full-- for me that was an insane amount (I thought) of meat, eggs, cottage cheese, cheeses, fruits, veggies, nuts/nut butters, and the occasional gluten-free baked good (a treat).  Not to say that you can't enjoy sweets in moderation (especially homemade ice-cream from full-fat milk!), but your baby honestly doesn't need it and neither do you.  (As a comfort for those who think that nothing sounds good at the moment:  at the beginning of my pregnancy- almost the first five full months- I was dependent on real ginger ale (I mean the kind that actually has pieces of ginger root in it) sipped throughout the day, and 4 oz of Coca-Cola (had to be actual coke, not a knock-off) in the morning to keep ANYTHING down at all... )  I've found Nina Planck's book Real Food for Mother & Baby to be the best new-mom-dietary book out there... both readable and nutritionally sound.  It's SO much better than What to Expect, which suggests the low-fat, low-meat approach so prevalent in our unhealthy culture today.  Developing babies NEED fat, and how are they going to get it unless you eat it?

2. If your water breaks before your labor starts, going to the hospital is NOT a good idea.  I wish I could yell this from the tallest roof downtown.  I don't know how many of my personal friends (healthy, not Group-B Strep positive) have been frightened with "you have to have that baby in 24 hours or else we're doing a c-section."  Even more have been told that their labor had to have started in 24 hours or else they'd do an induction (which is usually way more painful than natural labor, technology-ridden- you're strapped to an IV and must be monitored round-the-clock) and prone to complications and further interventions.  Why?  The main concern is that infection is nearly inevitable once the bag of waters ruptures.  My friends, this is simply not true.  Let me make it very clear:  the only way a healthy (non-GBS+) mom could possibly get an internal infection while leaking fluid is if bacteria traveled "upstream" into the uterus. The main way that happens is if it is pushed in via an internal exam. 

Despite a lack of evidence, there is a widespread impression among providers that when duration of rupture of membranes exceeds 24 hours, there is increased danger to mother and baby. Birth within 24 hours is a common management goal when the membranes are ruptured. This may lead to use of oxytocin and associated practices such as internal monitors and more frequent vaginal examinations, which are in themselves independent risk factors for infection.

Factors other than duration of rupture are known to increase risk of infection when membranes are ruptured. One strongly predictive factor is the number of vaginal examinations. The authors of the term PROM study point out that the number of vaginal examinations was more predictive of maternal infection than duration of membrane rupture. (see source here)

The more internal exams you have (the more times someone "checks you to see how far along you are"), the more likely infection becomes.  The first thing they will do at the hospital is to do an exam!! If, however, you stay at home, i.e., you don't have an exam, you probably won't get an infection.   (For those of us with more worry-wart tendencies, I'd suggest taking your temperature every hour or so once your water breaks to keep yourself from wondering.  If you did get an infection you'll get a fever and will then have plenty of time to get antibiotics or anything else needed.  You can also head to the hospital if you feel weird or freak out at any time!) If you stay home until labor starts (in 90% of women this happens within 48 hours) you'll be far more comfortable, less prone to infection (since no one is examining you), and less likely to need any other intervention.  (Even if you have Group-B strep, you have the option of beginning antibiotic treatment along with efforts to naturally start labor, like stair-walking and using a breast pump, instead of immediate induction.)


3. The average length of a first pregnancy is 41 weeks and a day.  That's over week past your "due date" (which is a ball-park estimate anyway) and that's an average, meaning as many women go longer as go shorter!  I've often scratched my head at women who say in one breath "God is in control and I'm trusting Him" and in the next "I'm getting induced on my due date because I'm so tired of being pregnant!"  If He's in control, can't you hang on until your labor starts in His timing?  There's rarely cause to induce a "post-due-date" baby, though it's recommended to keep a close eye on mom & baby as the due date comes & goes.  Getting induced because pregnancy is uncomfortable isn't a good idea (I don't mean when pregnancy is life-threatening, as in preeclampsia or toxemia, etc.)-- labor is uncomfortable, parenting a newborn is uncomfortable, and healing from a labor is uncomfortable!!  All of the above are often made more difficult by an induction.  Some women "bake" their babies longer-- seems to be genetic.  Other times, the due date or date of conception has been miscalculated.  Here's a good antidote to the idea that babies start to lose weight and be sickly if they "stay in" for too long.

A major conceptual problem with routine induction at 41 weeks is that the median length of pregnancy in healthy first-time mothers is 41 weeks 1 day. The conventional 40 weeks is just that: a convention. It is based on nothing more than a German obstetrician's fiat two centuries ago that since women cycle according to the moon, pregnancy lasts 10 moon months, that is, 10 months of 4 weeks each. Practitioners may argue over how great a deviation from normal warrants intervention, but in the case of routine induction at 41 weeks, they are arguing for intervening when there is no deviation from normal.  (Henci Goer, author of The Thinking Woman's Guide to Better Birth)

4. When you're in labor, laying on your back is usually the most painful position.  Wow, I speak from personal experience on this one.  When I had to lay down to be "checked" in labor, if a contraction happened before I could get back up it was agony (well, lying on my side was even worse, due to Eowyn's position). Walking around, squatting, leaning on Ryan, swaying, even just sitting up made the pain far more manageable.  Nothing was exactly comfortable, but it was doable!  This is a really good reason to avoid induction (as long as you have Pitocin dripping into you, you need to be monitored constantly, and few hospitals have wireless monitoring systems), as well as to opt for intermittent external fetal monitoring instead of continuous or internal.  Even in bed, though, you can move a bit.

How do you picture yourself during labor? Perhaps you've imagined yourself getting into bed, pulling up the covers, and simply lying there awaiting your baby's birth. Your husband mops your face with a wet washcloth while doctors and nurses flutter around your bedside. This image bears little resemblance to reality. If you really want to have your baby more quickly and with less pain, plan to get up and keep moving around as long as you can through labor.  [...]

But lying down has no medical benefits for most mothers. In fact, it carries several proven risks. When you lie on your back for long periods of time, the weight of the uterus compresses the descending aorta and inferior vena cava, blood vessels that supply or drain the lower part of your body. This interference with your circulation reduces your blood pressure, compromising blood flow to your baby and causing his heart rate to drop. When you stay upright (or at least off your back), placental circulation improves and fetal heart rate abnormalities may be alleviated. [...] A British study comparing mothers who walked during labor to mothers who stayed in bed demonstrated that walking not only shortened labor but also reduced pain and the need for medication.

How does walking help your labor along? For one thing, your contractions become stronger, more regular, and more frequent when you stand up. Gravity helps your baby make his way through your pelvis. Furthermore, the upright position improves both the angle of your baby's body to your spine and the application of his head to your cervix. Because your uterus naturally tilts forward in your abdomen during contractions, it meets the least resistance when you are standing, leaning slightly forward.  (The source article is a good one to read!)

5. It's standard procedure to inject all newborn babies against Hepatitis B, but this is completely optional. Hep B is an STD, and if you don't have it, your baby isn't at risk... AT ALL.  Even if you choose to vaccinate for everything else, injecting an immune-stimulating drug immediately following the trauma of birth into a tiny person for a disease they aren't even able to contract is pretty pointless.  At the very least, hold off for a while! (You can read the risk factors for the disease here.)  Get your pediatrician & doctor (or midwife) to sign your birthplan for extra back-up.  Most practices test for Hep B during the 2nd trimester of pregnancy, and if you test negative and are in a monogamous relationship with another Hep-B-free person, most doctors will back you up no prob.

And a bonus...

6. Your milk usually doesn't come in until 3 days after your baby is born (sometimes it's delayed even more if you have a C-section).  A newborn's stomach is as big as an adult pinky (or picture a marble or thimble), which is why colostrum (first "milk") is super-dense and comes in very tiny quantities.  The newborn's stomach grows quickly, and as the baby nurses it tells the body to produce mature milk.  Most newborns also have quite a reserve of fat to get them through the first few days of learning how to nurse, etc.  I've had friends whose babies were given bottles in the hospital within hours of birth because "their milk hadn't come in."  The answer (unless the baby is tiny, malnourished and dehydrated) isn't a bottle in that situation; it's being put to the mother's breast as often as possible, and kept near her as often as possible!  Here's a good little article by a Lactation Consultant on the topic.  (Note:  this doesn't mean you will have to nurse on-demand for the baby's whole life; the first few days, even weeks, are pretty unique.)  (image credit)

So, what do you wish you could know or had known as an expectant parent? Any ideas for a "5 Things" list I could do?  Comment away!

The Return We Make

Many of you are probably wearing green today, for fear of getting pinched. :)  Others might be rolling your eyes at a "hallmark holiday" or hating the drunken revelry that often goes on in the name of "St. Patrick's Day."  While I certainly don't personally buy gifts or cards for today, and I do regret anyone taking time to become drunk, I do love St. Patrick's Day and what it stands for.  Hmmm... what does it stand for?

The man whom we honor died on March 17th.  His whole adult life was spent preaching the Gospel* to the Druidic kingdoms of old Ireland-- the very people who had enslaved him as a boy.  He returned to them voluntarily, coming to view his time of captivity as a blessing-- not only the crucible God used to save him, but also a chance to learn the Irish language fluently.  He had since studied and been approved by church leaders and been sent as a missionary, burdened for the souls of the people who had once kidnapped him, and determined that the true God be worshiped as He deserved in every nation under Heaven as Scripture teaches.  St. Patrick is an emblem of evangelism, of fearless strength in weakness, and of passionate, self-risking love for even enemies.  St. Patrick's Day is "about" the glory of God, courage, and the power of the Gospel to save!  AMEN!!

 My two favorite quotes from the fearless missionary, passionate evangelist and careful pastor, the one we now call Saint Patrick:

Wherefore, I cannot keep silence-- nor would it be fitting.  [...] For this is the return we make, that after our chastening or after our recognition of God, we should exalt and proclaim His wondrous ways before every nation which is under the whole heaven.

And-

And so in the measure of our faith in the Trinity, it is fitting for me to explain, and without censure of rashness, to make known the gift of God and the everlasting hope.  Moreover, it is fitting that I spread everywhere the name of God without fear, confidently; so that after my death I may leave a legacy to my brethren and my sons whom I baptized in the Lord-- so many thousands of men.

My husband gave me a translation of all of Patrick's known works for Christmas the second year we were married, and reading it not only opened my eyes to the truly great man of God that Patrick (or Sucat, as he was first known) was, but it was a huge encouragement to me spiritually, a spur towards passionate love for the Lost and supreme confidence in a worthy Savior.  One of my favorite Southern professors has just written a bit about Patrick on his blog, too.  Check it out!

* The word "Gospel" means "good news," and is shorthand for what God has done to save sinful man.  The good news is that even though we are incapable of moving towards God on our own, He (God the Son) became a man (Jesus the Christ) in order to bring us to Himself.  He did this by living a perfect life, dying a death whose worst torture wasn't the physical agony but rather being forsaken and abandoned by God the Father-- He did this to pay the penalty for our sins, as He had none of His own to pay for, and then being raised after 3 days in a Jewish tomb.  He went back to Heaven and sent His Holy Spirit into the hearts of all His followers, and in this way lives with His people even now, 2000+ years after his physical life on earth.  Christians are those who believe this to be true and trust Christ's finished work on the Cross as their only way to be saved from the eternal torment they know their sins deserve. They view it as their GOOD NEWS!!

18 Months of Éowyn Grace

I haven't written an Éowyn-update in quite a while!  Every week or so I try to make mental notes of what she's doing and saying lately, lest I forget... oh well.  I guess it's taken me being sick and in bed to have made me actually do it.

Let's see...
You are talking up a storm, little one.  You love to repeat anything we say, be it Spanish or English or made-up-Daddy.  You understand Spanish completely, though I think your English has pretty much caught up by now.  You seem to prefer the shorter English words for most things (I've noticed that far more English words are uni-syllabic!  (ex. dog, cat, horse vs. perro, gato, caballo) You grasp that both sets of words mean the same thing; when prompted "di 'por favor,'" you say "please" for example.  You delight Daddy with the way you say "okay."  (sounds like "haaaah- kay") It's your catch-all phrase for "yes," "please," and "I'm excited!"  You've lately taken to saying "no?" to most questions, and as a hopeful response to highchair-time or bedtime.  You know a good many animals and get quite excited when you see them, shouting "hoss! hoss!" at every Louisville Derby statue and "kitty!" every time a neighborhood cat pokes its nose out of doors.  You're good with names and recognize friends & neighbors warmly.  My biggest surprise came when you started making simple sentences "Is cowd!" (followed by a shiver and a pointing to your coat) or "Gace (Grace; a friend) ky-ing" (Grace is crying).

Many of your old favorites still delight you: bo-bo, books, bath, keys, and of course Mama (your all-time favorite).  Even "pe-pe" (paci) has made a comeback, right about the time those 4 molars came in.  You've gotten some new fascinations, though: "fwing-fwing" (swings, either at the park, on our porch, or in our living room-- now you climb in and out of the baby swing on your own), "rock-rock" (the little rocking chair I just recovered for you), "ki-ka" (stickers), "baby" (an ancient baby doll given to you by an elderly neighbor), "teef" (your tooth brush, with or without toothpaste), "eh-eh" (the letter "E" in Spanish; this is your catch-all term for drawing, as you especially like for me to write Es) and "poop?" (your newest obsession with sitting on the potty, when you feel you have to go- you seem to like a dry diaper- or when you want to brush your teeth, or when you feel things are a bit too quiet).  You play quite well by yourself and have begun to be interested in wooden puzzles and a gear toy I just purchased.  You have discovered the magic of DVDs in the last week or so, and understand all too well that the discs in the pretty covers equal movies you can watch. Your pretend play continues to grow, whether you are tenderly rocking your baby, making her cry and kissing her to comfort her, talking convincingly on a "phone," or cooking and blowing on your "food."  You are a girly-girl to the core, loving shoes, purses, bows, hair brushes, hats, jewelry and pretty clothes.  Sometimes you pick up your purse, fill it up, put on a hat and head to the door calling "bye!"  So cute.

You have become more affectionate than ever, spontaneously giving me and Daddy kisses (real ones!) and hugs all day long.  Babies draw out the best in you, unless, of course, YOUR Mommy is holding them.  That is just not acceptable.  (Neither is Daddy hugging Mama, jealous little thing.)  You say "love-you," usually immediately followed by "bye-bye!" and a blown kiss. You are starting to empathize with others, and if you hear a baby crying, you stop and tell me "Baby's ky-ing.  Waaah," and scrunch up your little face and try to cry too.  You're getting way too good at the fake-cry thing...

After a difficult spell in January in which you had your first sinus infection, first round of antibiotics, first allergic reaction to antibiotics, first double-ear infection/sinus infection, second round of antibiotics, and four molars coming in at once, your sleep pattern is FINALLY getting manageable.  If you wake up, I just hold you and kiss you, and put you back in bed, sometimes with music or with a pacifier, but no nursing (yay!), and this past week I finally dropped your 10-pm dream-feed.  This means that you now go from 8 pm to 5:30/6 am without eating (yay!), and I hope that soon you won't even wake up at night.  You're down to one nap during the day (for quite a while we alternated one nap & two-nap days), from 1-3/3:30.  You wake up at 5:30 to nurse, then we both go back to sleep until 8:30 or so.  I'm okay with that... for now. :)

You are a fairly good eater; not picky, but definitely still preferring mama's milk above all others.  I have to "trick" you with a little sweetener (stevia, maple syrup or unrefined sugar) in warmed cow's milk if I'm to get you to drink any of it.  I have started the weaning process, though, now having dropped both your post-nap (3:30ish) snack, replacing it with a sippy of warm milk, and your dream-feed.  Your new favorite food is potatoes ("papas"), and if you like any food, you declare it to be papas.  You also really like uvas (raisins), man'as (apples), and na'njas (oranges).

I love you so much, cha-cha... mi preciosa.  We thank God for you every day.
Love,
 Mommy and Daddy

Incorporating Music into Baby Days

My three-part vaccine post is finished over at Keeper of the Home, yay!  I so enjoyed incorporating all my reading and percolated thoughts into one comprehensive post... and it was quite time-consuming!  I pray that it is a blessing to many!

I'm excited to have the time now to go back to a favorite subject of mine:  music & children!  I'm going to give five suggestions for incorporating music into your days with your baby or toddler (older kids, too).

1. Pitch Matching-  Here's my first attempt at "vlogging" (video blogging), since it would be a lot clunkier to explain the "game" of pitch-matching than to "show" it!

2. Read rhythmic books- get into a rhythm and read the "chorus" the same way each time (see, you can be musical without having a great voice!).  Rhythm is half of music,-- don't underestimate it! A short list of my favorites:   We're Going on a Bear Hunt (by Michael Rosen), Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (by Bill Martin, Jr.), King Bidgood's in the Bathtub (by Don & Audrey Wood), Barnyard Dance! (Sandra Boynton).

3. Turn off the battery-operated "musical" toys- I know, it kind of seems counter-intuitive.  Hear me out, ok? One of the most disturbing trends I dealt with as a middle-school choir teacher was the misconception (all-pervasive overwhelming cultural maxim, it seemed like!) that music should be easy.  If it wasn't, the student (and often his parents) assumed that "music just isn't his thing; he just can't sing."  I am here to tell you that music is NOT easy for many people, and that any person (with the possible exception of those with a severe auditory processing disorder) can LEARN to sing.  Music is like anything else; some people have an aptitude for it, getting good at it takes hard work, it has a practical as well as a mental aspect to it, anyone can learn it, and good teachers help with that learning process.  Compare it to math; if your child isn't a whiz at math, do you automatically assume "oh well, it's just not his thing"?  No, you probably look around for another way to present the material, and you put in extra time & effort until it becomes more or less second nature.  What does this have to do with battery-operated toys?  Those reduce music to simple one-step-cause-and-effect:  push a button, hear music.  No work, no investment, on and off at will.  A friend of mine told me she didn't mind battery toys because "I can't sing to her all day," and I realized that that's kind of the point.  When we aren't always available to sing to our children, that very inability is communicating to them that music takes something out of us; it isn't just constantly available, on-demand in the background.  It should take our focus.  It should have a beginning, middle & end, not a on-off switch that can be started and re-started repeatedly.  I think that some toys can help with musical education (Eowyn has 3 that come to mind, including a little drum that has several styles of beats)... just use them occasionally, like desserts instead of a staple food.


4. Do buy no-tech musical instruments-  by this I mean actual musical instruments:  xylophones, bells, maracas, shakers, glockenspiels.  Make your own drum out of a coffee tin & wooden spoon.  Make a shaker by filling a container with beans.  By playing with these, they will learn to associate larger size with lower pitch, that vibration causes sound, and to differentiate between pitches.  There will never be a time when they didn't just "know" those things, just as children rarely remember learning that objects fall down (not up), or that water is wet.  They just learned that by experiencing it over & over again.

5. Play songs from around the world-  Raffi is a wonderful artist in this way, singing with everything from steel drums to kazoos to piano & strings, often in other languages!  Another good starting point is Wee Sing Around the World (book and cd)  Most public libraries have children's CDs you can check out from all over the globe!  Just like you give your child a varied diet with veggies, fruits and meats of all tastes and nutrients, give your child's ear a full buffet of harmonies, rhythms and tones!

Ok... what about you?  What tips do you have for incorporating music into your every day mommy life?

"Children Of God" - Official Music Video

This video gives me chills.
For any who want to or have added to their families through adoption... or who think "I could never love an adopted child like I love my natural ones"... How does God the Father love us? In the Beloved.  We are adopted by Him, and He loves us as if we were Jesus.  W. O. W.

As a Mother Pityeth Her Children...

This phrase has come back to me several times over the past few days: "as a father pityeth his children, so the Lord pityeth them that fear Him; for He knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust."  Or, as my sister & I memorized, 

"As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him;
 for He knows how we are formed,
   He remembers that we are dust."

Every parent instinctively "pities," or "has compassion" for their child. You know the feeling-- your child comes to you with tears in his eyes, bruised and hurt either emotionally or physically, and whether he is two or twelve, your heart melts. You put your arms out and gather him into your arms, you kiss and sing (or at least wish you could) and assure "it will be all right."  You have compassion.  You care.  You want to take away their pain and help.  You care because you know them; you know what they've been through.  You know how little and frail they are; you know that they missed their bedtime, that they're afraid of spiders, and that they take your pillowcase to summer camp "because it smells like home."  You know their limits, and you understand.

Of course, we are totally inconsistent in our compassion, unlike our Heavenly Father.  How often do I get exasperated with my daughter instead of remembering that she is only one, and has no idea that I am trying to organize those bits of paper that she finds so fun to walk on.  Or how easy it is to be frustrated and short-tempered at her fussing instead of realizing that the poor child is hungry and doesn't have the words to tell me yet.  I've read two parenting articles lately that have reminded me to make compassion and patience my first response, to give my child my sympathy.


At the Relevant 2010 conference I attended back in October, Sally Clarkson was my favorite speaker.  She spoke with the weight of years of mothering and teaching behind her; she was a voice of quiet wisdom I instinctively felt I could trust.  She read a quote that I've often thought of:

“How many parents there are … who are readier to provide playthings for their children than to share the delights of their children with those playthings; readier to set their children to knowledge-seeking, than to have a part in their children’s surprises and enjoyments of knowledge-attaining; readier to make good, as far as they can, all losses to their children, than to grieve with their children over those losses.  And what a loss of power to those parents as parents, is this lack of sympathy with their children as children.”  (Henry Clay Trumbull, Hints on Child Training (1890))

Sally just recently wrote a blog post about this exact thing; about first attempting understanding & sympathy before disciplining.  I think the title is misleading, because as you read, you'll see that she isn't discouraging expecting immediate obedience or whole-hearted submission, but rather a quick, automatic, one-size-fits-all formulaic response to our children. 

Why do we tend to want quick-and-easy answers?  Well, sometimes it's laziness.  I just want to say something and have it happen, no work!  Other times it's idolizing of my plan, my vision for how I want to spend my day.  Or it can be that we've let having obedient children become the end rather than a means...a means of preparing them to obey Christ.  On that note, here is the second article regarding parenting, a commentary on the "Tiger Mom."

She touches on an antidote to all of the above-- laziness, pride, idolatry: thankfulness.  If I am in the position of thanking God for whatever comes from His hand, I will be far more gracious with my child!  If I see my children as gifts, and as even interruptions of my day as His severe mercy towards me, I am far more equipped to handle them with compassion.

For me, I've noticed that with Eowyn, kneeling in front of her and touching her face as I speak to her, telling her that "I know you wants to keep playing (or whatever), but that now it is time to do this," is far more effective and happy than simply demanding off-hand that she "stop that and come here."  Or, if it's time to leave her pacifier and blankie and move on past naptime, that having her drop them in her crib herself and wave, saying "bye-bye, bo-bo" tends to be tear-less.  In these small ways I'm trying to show her my compassion, my sympathy, my desire to make obedience as attractive to her as it is in reality.

Now... just think... the Lord is always compassionate like that with us!

Helpful Analogies For Sexual Purity Before the Lord

My best friend is a pastor's wife up in the snowy north (aka Toronto, Canada), and is leading her women's group through several topics relating to godly living as women.  Their last session, entitled "Two Whys to Make Us Wise," dealt particularly with sexual purity.  Many of you who appreciated the blog post celebrating the God-honoring romance of my sister & brother-in-law may want to check out her latest blog post summarizing their session.  I particularly found the analogies helpful, and am tucking them away to use in mentoring my children in the more distant future, and any teens I am in relationship with in the nearer future.

To whet your appetite, the two "whys" she discusses are 1. Why do we have sex? and 2. Why should we honor God with our bodies (especially as Christians)?

Thoughtful Thoughts on Vaccines

OK, so the title is lame, but I am so very tired... Sorry for my blogging absence; amidst life and love and pursuing home-centered godliness, I've also been spending most of my spare minutes tweaking and sourcing my blog posts on a favorite topic (childhood vaccinations) on a bigger blog than this humble little site: Keeper of the Home. Please mosey on over and check them out! Part One posted Tuesday; and Parts Two & Three will show up in the following weeks!

Feel free to leave comments here or there-- I may respond to them more quickly here; the volume of discussion on that blog is quite a bit more than I can handle. But then again the point is discussion amongst us all, not me policing and answering every question myself, right?

In the words of my South African friend,
Cheers.
'Night, y'all. :)

Imaginary Blueberries

Ok, I am ALL for imagination and fun... but paying money for it? Watch this little skit and see what you think... or imagine... ;)

General Mills Total Mind Games - comedy skit about Total Blueberry Pomegranate Cereal - NaturalNews.tv

Kind of funny... kind of awful. May this open your eyes to the value of ingredient-list reading!! :)

So, Are You Allergic to Wheat, or Do You Have Celiac's?

My body cannot process gluten, the main protein in wheat, spelt, rye and barley.  It makes me ill in a whole host of ways, from a brain-fog that makes words on a page suddenly and totally non-sensical, to hallucinogenic dreams in which I can't open my eyes but keep trying to wake up, to itching in every mucous membrane, to digestive pain, to eczema, to absolute mind-numbing fatigue, to raging thirst.  It isn't fun.  People often ask me "so, what will happen if you accidentally eat gluten?  Will you, like...die?"  My answer is usually "No- not right away.  But it will make me sick and icky-feeling for about 2 weeks."  (Not worth a cheat!)

Technically, there is a difference between "food allergy" that causes a histamine reaction (an immediate Ig-E allergy) and a food intolerance like Celiac Disease.  A histamine reaction comes from Ig-E (immunoglobulin E, a type of antibody)s in a body pegging the trigger (sea food for instance) as an invader, and swarming to get it out.  Ig-Es bring on extremely powerful reactions.  This leads to itchy eyes, runny nose, swelling and in severe cases, anaphylaxis (throat swelling shut).  Allergy tests look for Ig-E reactions (on skin or in blood) to tiny amounts of potential allergens.  Food intolerances are more tricky.  They aren't mediated by those antibodies, so they won't show up on an allergy test.  As this mother puts it,

After two doctors told me my son didn't have any allergies, the GI doctor finally found the genes for celiac which explained why he had gone from the 95% of weight to the 5% of weight after we introduced gluten (wheat) and dairy into his diet. Technically, he didn't have a life threatening IgE allergy. One doctor even told me, "we have a death and disease model" meaning if you are not going to die from something immediately after eating it, it isn't a problem. But my son was wasting away and his brain was starving for nutrients. 

Celiac disease, and other food intolerances, involve immune reactions in the gut, where the food particles are changed into intestine-bombs instead of being digested: 

Upon exposure to [gluten] the enzyme tissue transglutaminase modifies the protein, and the immune system cross-reacts with the small-bowel tissue, causing an inflammatory reaction. That leads to a truncating of the villi lining the small intestine (called villous atrophy). This interferes with the absorption of nutrients, because the intestinal villi are responsible for absorption. (Wikipedia)

A really succint and helpful summary is here.

Both are examples of the body over-reacting to something that shouldn't trigger a response at all, but they are different enough to require different tests.  I appreciated this blog post by a mother whose children have many food intolerances (and she's into Real Food too!).  Most people don't know about Celiac disease, and they think that you are being picky if you say you're "intolerant to" something... so I'll probably go on being incorrect but understood and telling waiters and chefs that "I'm allergic to wheat and soy." :)

[[And parents, if you notice that your child has red cheeks, diarrhea, is irritable or sleepless, vomits, gets eczema or a rash after eating any certain food, or has ANY developmental delays, disorders or learning disabilities, or just "fails to thrive" but tests "negative for any food allergies," you might want to try cutting it out, seeing if he improves, and getting a doctor familiar with non-IgE mediated food intolerances.  Just because it doesn't show up as an allergy on a blood test doesn't mean that it couldn't possibly be a life-threatening intolerance.]]

Kawaii Baby Shout-Out

I just wanted to give a quick nod to an amazing cloth diaper company that almost no one has heard of:  Kawaii Baby Diapers.  Their prices are unbeatable:
- $7 for a snapped, one-size pocket diaper with TWO super-absorbant inserts.  I received a round-tabbed one as a shower gift and it fit Eowyn perfectly as an 8 week old with average-sized legs, and it still fits her now as an active 16 month old. Never a leak; my favorite and it's always in the diaper bag because it can go a long time.  Order a set and you get free shipping and prices closer to $6 apiece. (velcro-style closure also available)
- $4.50 for a snapped, one-size cover.  I just ordered some and will see how they go...if they fit like the pockets, though, I'll be set!(velcro-style closure also available)
- $10.50 snapped one-size bamboo diapers with TWO bamboo inserts. I just ordered one and look forward to trying out an all-natural, bio-friendly diaper.

What really sets this company apart is their service, though!  An email to customer service goes straight to the owner and she responds promptly.  I had a question and when she answered, I mentioned that most of my order was going with friends to an Ethiopian orphanage-- babies there are currently diapered in plastic bags, and barely get changed all day.  Diapers are a HUGE need for them!  Anyway, her response was to throw in 5 extra Heavy-Duty pocket diapers for FREE!!  When you think about how many times each cloth diaper can be re-used, the magnitude of the gift increases-- and this was a totally unprompted generous gesture.  (Other companies I've had similar communications with made no such offers.)

Anyway I wanted to put their name out there as one I've found outstanding in performance, but now also in the heart behind the company.  They didn't ask me to say anything, and I don't get a penny for recommending them.  I'm just impressed. :)

Beautiful, Oops!

Just a note on this post:  you might start out wondering why it's here, instead of at my book-review blog (www.mamaszrama.com), because it does start off being about a really cool new children's book.  But bear with me, because it's not actually about this book, cool as it is.

This little book has recently captured my fancy.  Called Beautiful, Oops!, it is a whole new type of pop-up book, celebrating the potential in every "mistake."  The book itself is a study in creativity-- totally thinking "outside the box."  This would be a GREAT way to start a discussion with your children on God as Redeemer; One who reclaims for Himself what is captive, ugly and wrong, making it beautiful, holy and right by His very presence.  Watch a video of it here.

Our culture prefers the word "mistake."  It's somehow easier to say than "sin."  It doesn't imply evil, just misunderstanding or poor judgement.  Maybe even accidental action or inaction.  And we make a lot of those (I know I do).  Several times I've heard friends try to pass off a serious hurtful sin as "one mistake" lately.  Well, it was a mistake... and it was also a sin.  Bearing this in mind, that labeling something a "mistake" doesn't let us off the hook where repentance is concerned, this little book contains a lot of truth.  The first way to go about seeing something beautiful come from a sinful mistake always must be repentance; an admission of guilt, an apology, an asking for forgiveness from the offended party AND from God, and a resolve to turn from that sin and do the opposite. With our pride gone and forgiveness granted we are free to be amazed at how God weaves our mistake, our weakness, our sin, into a glorious tapestry of grace and joy.

This has got me thinking...thinking about a blog post written by a friend of mine who just found out that his youngest adopted son, whom he will soon bring home from Ethiopia, was conceived in rape.  Woah.  Talk about sobering.  By my friend's account, the girl was quite young-- some might still call her a little girl-- and she was violently assaulted, violated by a sick man's lust, never to be innocent again.  Talk about a "mistake." That doesn't even do it justice-- that wasn't a mistake; it was sin; despicable, awful, terrible, harmful, the stench of death.  Yet, out of that terror-inducing, evil, agonizing violence God brought a beautiful thing:  someone made in His Own Image.  Wow.  From one man's wicked act God brought life, and in His mercy the girl bearing that life prized it above her own comfort.  She carried her son, gave birth, and then did everything in her power to see that her son --the baby she never asked for from a man she had every right to hate-- was cared for.  And she went away happy. That girl -so young, so poor, so far away- whose name I do not know has become one of my heroes as a mother.

What did God bring out of an evil, disgusting sin?  First of all, a baby boy, fearfully and wonderfully made.  Secondly, the joy of a desperately poor young Ethiopian mother, who has peace in her heart and on her face in knowing that she sacrificed herself for her son.  Thirdly, the delight of my friends, who have a son to love and hold and teach.  Fourthly, the enrichment of his brother and two sisters, who will now grow up sharing all their memories with him.  Think of the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the grandparents, the friends, the school teachers, the doctors, the nurses whom he will touch... The list will go on and on as this child grows.  His parents are bound to Cameroon to translate Scripture there; it could be that he will save the lives-- physical or spiritual-- of thousands there; time only will tell.

Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God?  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)

You can read even more "Beautiful Oops" stories here, as 4 adoptive parents recount the miracles that brought their precious children into their arms.  I love the pictures of these smiling babies that are beside each story (I have held and changed several of the children featured!).  One of the most striking paragraphs to me:

Shortly after our son Isaiah was born, he was abandoned in a high school.  He was found sobbing and with the umbilical cord still attached by a man named Teshome.  We will forever be thankful for his kindness in saving our son’s life!  He took Isaiah to the police, and from there he was sent to an orphanage.  We are often brought to tears thinking about how close Isaiah came to death.  He is such a happy, curious, strong boy and brings us so much joy and delight.  We praise the Lord for protecting his life and allowing us to be his parents!

Contrast that with this view of mistakes:


Oh Lord, keep us from the arrogance that would make us judges of the effects of sin-- either our own or one inflicted upon us. Give us hearts dedicated to Redemption; determined and expectant to see You work unimaginable beauty from our ashes!

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified." (Isaiah 61:3)

New Years Resolves

I grew up doing these, and always feel like I'm missing out on a great opportunity if I let a new year slip by without some purposed changes coming along.  So... here I go making these public, now that I've had a week to let them stew, and to talk to Ryan about them...

1. Spiritual-  read through the Bible using the Plan for Shirkers & Slackers (explained a bit here).  My buddy Val is teaming up with me on this one all the way from Toronto! Ryan & I are reading through Moments With You, a couple's devotional by Dennis & Barbara Rainey, every night together. So far we've made it a week straight and are enjoying it and finding it helpful!! :) (thanks for the wedding gift, Uncle Jeff & Aunt Karen!)
2. Spiritual- keep more of a liturgical year by celebrating Advent & Lent both personally and as a family, as well as the 12 Days of Christmas (between Christmas Eve & Epiphany/Three Kings Day)
3. Physical- exercise at least 4 days a week (using DVDs, gardening & walking, and that new iPod insert for my shoe Ryan gave me for Christmas), with the goal of running a 10-mile or half-marathon race this summer
4. Physical- continue to cook seasonally, with an expanded garden grown from seeds this summer (the "from seeds" part is what really freaks me out), and canning/preserving as much as I can
5. Intellectual- keep on reading, reviewing one book per week on my children's book review blog.
6. Intellectual- keep on blogging, streamlining my blog to reflect my passion for equipping others to fully use the brains God has given us by thinking critically about what we eat, read, and do.


TA-DA!

What about you?  Have you done any formal (or informal) resolves for this year?

Gluten-Free Flour Tip

I mentioned in my last post about using corn flour (Maseca-- in the Hispanic foods section) and corn starch as easily available & affordable GF flours.  For buckwheat, quinoa, gluten-free oat and millet flours, you don't need to spend a fortune buying all those little Bob's Red Mill bags; they're probably already rancid when you open them, anyway.  Instead, find a bulk source of grains (I get them at a food buying club; if there are health food stores near you, they probably have sources, or could even point you towards wholesalers in your area where restaurants buy their grains.  Another bulk source is Amazon, believe it or not!), buy a little coffee grinder ($25 or less), and dedicate it to grinding your own flour!  It's really that simple.  Dump in some grains or groats, pulse until fine, use immediately or freeze.  That's all. 

Think about it; even if you have a little trouble tracking down the grains, you will save a TON of money over buying pre-ground flours, and the taste & health benefits are worth it.

For quinoa, you will need to rinse the grain really well before grinding them, so allot time to let the grain air dry, or just rinse a big batch when you buy it, and let it air dry before you store it.

The only flour I've found difficult to grind this way is rice flour, so I pick that up at a local Asian market, or I just do without it.  Buckwheat flour, which I grind as I need it, really works wonderfully!

GF Crash Course

Yet another friend is experiencing relief and greater energy thanks to a gluten-free diet, and asked me for some recipes.  Here is my answer to her, in the hopes that it helps someone else!  Feel free to forward this to any GF newbies, people hosting GF guests, or to link up to this post any time!  It's here to help!!

With gluten-free baking, the smaller the better.  GF flours don't rise very well, and tend to be very crumbly and/or dry out very quickly, so small things like muffins, little waffles, pancakes, mini-quiches, etc., are better than loaves of breads.  You also have to handle the dough differently-- no rolling it out then picking it up; it just doesn't stay together like that.  You have to usually pat it into place on/in whatever you'll cook it in, or put it on parchment paper or a cutting board, then do a sleight-of-hand-dump-over-the-top routine.  It's a talent. :)

I've also found that using the whole grain by soaking it overnight helps make things gum together better than using flours. So does adding in ground flax seed-- it contains a LOT of oils and really helps things gel. Keep a box of it in your fridge at all times and add it to EVERYTHING. Certain flours are "thirsty," meaning they take a LOT more liquid than usual-- corn flour especially-- but I actually like using these since I prefer to sweeten with honey or maple syrup instead of sugar, and often use oil or applesauce instead of  butter (because we go through an obscene amount of butter, and buy organic... so it saves us money for me to bake with some oil instead of always butter).  To buy corn flour, look in the Hispanic section for sacks of"Maseca" or "Masa."  It's cheap, and as an advantage it comes from corn soaked in lime water then ground-- much more nutritious and digestible!!  Your kids will also love chanting "maseca."  I speak from experience. 

In buying dairy products such as sour cream or yogurt, you MUST buy the all-natural (preferably full-fat) version to avoid modified food starch & other yukkies. Thankfully, most Krogers carry a store all-natural brand.  Cottage cheese is the toughest to find.  Daisy whole-fat, large curd brand is the ONLY one I can find that doesn't have modified food starch, aka gluten.  It is also free of all the other nasty crap in the other cottage cheese brands.  'Round here, Meijer is the only store that carries it... though I'm sure you could find all-natural brands at health foods like Whole Foods or Rainbow Blossom.

The following are some of my favorite bread-like things.  I've culled them from various sources, and adapted them enough that I think I can claim them as my own by now. :)

GF Oatmeal Muffins (originally from Sina Shuey)

1 c gluten-free rolled oats (Bob's Red Mill is the easiest to find; Kroger carries it)

1 c buttermilk (I use whole milk plain yogurt thinned with water and it works GREAT.  You can also use soured raw milk, or whole milk soured with whey, lemon juice or even apple cider vinegar, or sour cream thinned with water in a pinch)

1 egg

1/3 c butter or applesauce or 1/4 c oil

1/2 c b. sugar or 1/3 c maple syrup

1 c GF flour (I use 1/2 c corn starch, 1/2 c Maseca corn flour)

1 t baking powder

1/2 t sea salt

1/2 t baking soda

1/4 c ground flax seed (can leave it out, but I never do)

1 t xantham gum (when I use maple syrup, flax seed, and soak the oats over 2 hours I can leave this out)

1 t cinnamon

ginger, nutmeg, allspice, ground cloves to taste

"add ins" as desired:  raisins, chocolate chips, chopped apple, cranberries, strawberries, etc.

Soak the oats in buttermilk (in a NON-metal bowl) overnight, or at least 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Add all wet ingredients to soaked oats.  Dump in the dry and stir with a fork.

Bake in greased muffin tins for ~14 minutes; watch for drying out!

Serve plain or with butter... yum.

Old- Fashioned Southern Corn Bread (straight off the corn meal sack)

2 T bacon drippings, butter or oil

2 c stone-ground corn meal (OT a cornbread mix!)

2 t bk powder

1 t bk soda

1 t salt

2 T honey

1 egg (or 1 T white vinegar in a pinch)

1 3/4 c buttermilk (or yogurt thinned with water-- you want it to be kinda chunky; thick)

Put grease, butter or oil in cast iron skillet or deep-dish glass pie pan in 400 degree oven until bubbling.

Meanwhile, mix corn meal, powder, soda and salt.  Add in egg, honey and buttermilk.  Batter should be thick.

Pour into the hot pan, right in the middle of the hot oil/butter.

Bake @ 400 for 20-30 minutes or until brown and cracked.

Variation:  add in 1 c shredded cheese (cheddar or pepper jack), 1 T chili powder (or more to taste), chopped bell or jalapeno peppers & whole kernels of corn (I dump in 1 c frozen corn).  I usually add in an extra egg and 1/2 t extra of baking soda to help the heavier batter rise.  I love it!! 

Pre-Soaked Pancakes (originally from John & Jessica Moody)

Day 1 (the night before)

3/4 c water

3/4 c yogurt (or 1 1/2 c buttermilk)

2 T coconut or olive oil

3/4 c millet berries

1/2 c rolled GF oats

1/2 c brown rice

1 t vanilla extract

Blend for 3 minutes on high.  Leave in glass container overnight.

Day 2 (following morning)

1 egg

1 t sea salt

1-2 t bk powder

1/2 t bk soda

cinnamon

Add and blend one more minute.  Do not over blend.  Pour on hot, well-oiled griddle as per your usual pancake-mixin' routine.

Variety:  substitute 1/2 c buckwheat groats or amaranth for brown rice or millet berries.  Can also try with (rinsed!!) quinoa grains or wild rice for a nuttier flavor. Can add in sliced bananas, frozen or fresh berries, chocolate chips, etc.  These just make pancakes trickier to flip (they stick more), so have LOTS of butter on hand to grease that skillet!

Cottage Cheese Pancakes (from Ryan's first-ever company retreat)

1 c cottage cheese

1 c sour cream

1 c rice flour  (can use some GF oats too if you like)

4 eggs

Mix- batter will be lumpy.  Pour onto well-oiled griddle...

These are high in protein and will fill you UP!  Great with peach butter & creamy butter... oh yes...

My favorite Double Crust GF Pie Crust (great for chicken pot pie!- adapted from Mrs. Mohler's "famous" pie crust recipe)

1 c cornstarch or tapioca starch/flour

1 c rice flour (I usually substitute 1/4 c of this with ground flax seed) or buckwheat or millet flour, or a combo

8 T butter

2 T olive oil

1/3 cold milk (or my favorite: cold orange juice- it provides a light sweet tartness that is great!)

1 t xanthan or guar gum

1 t salt (can omit if using salted butter above)

Bake as needed.  For pumpkin pie, add in pumpkin pie spice (ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg & ground cloves or allspice) and 1 t maple syrup.

Emergency One-Crust Pie Crust

1/2 c butter

1 1/2 c rice flour

4 T cold water

Mix, then press directly into pan.

Dairy-Free GF Pie Crust

3/4 c rice flour

1 t honey

1/4 t sea salt

1/2 t xanthan gum

1/3 c butter or oil

2 T cold water.

Mix, then roll out between aluminum foil sheets for easy(er) transfer.

Another breakfast favorite (recipe has been referred to dozens of friends with rave reviews all around) is baked oatmeal from my friend Emily-- just make sure you use GF oats. I've used this pita recipe several times and it's good. I make my gyros like my friend Jenny does, except I add in cumin, coriander, cinnamon & other middle-eastern curry spices, as well as using 1/2 ground lamb, 1/2 ground beef.  Everything on here is amazing.  But as she's a chef, married to a chef, sometimes the recipes are a bit too involved for me... Go here to my staple meat-loaf recipe. Lastly, in a pinch, Pamela's Gluten-Free Bread Mix is my favorite.  You can make it in any bread maker on the white wheat setting.

A Toast to the Yearly-Weds

--Edit-- a good post on a similar topic can be found here.  It has several analogies to help you think through (or maybe guide your child or mentee through) purity before the Lord!

A year ago today my sister and her best friend woke up as Mr. Samuel & Mrs. Lauren Pond for the first time.  In a bizzare twist of fate-- i.e. God's sovereign sense of humor-- their legal names would sound equally unfamiliar to their friends, as both go by their middle names... and since their second names contain most of the same letters, we call them collectively "Nicolin."  Yes, this time last year my mom, dad, and sister Anna were still reeling in post-wedding shock, and trying to internalize the knowledge that the eternally-messy bedroom to the far right of the stairs was in one sense empty forever... though (hehhe) its occupant has left many a sign of her long residency, much to my mom's chagrin (it still hasn't been cleaned out.).

I think it's safe to say that any guest at the Thompson-Pond rehearsal dinner, wedding, or reception, was treated to an amazing party. I've never had more fun at any rehearsal dinner-- the dancing was, well, for lack of a better word, amazing.  It was hands-down the best New Year's celebration I've ever been to!  Both families know how to boogie, and the late-night-festive atmosphere was enough to bring out even our shyer friends to the dance floor in droves.  Oh so fun.  There were toasts a-plenty, with lots of laughs and even a few tears... the sister in me could not resist a roast, I dredged up an old email from a teenaged-Nicole in which she outlined her plan to be married and pregnant with her fourth child by the time I found a suitor at all and read pertinent portions aloud.  As guests could see MY husband and 3 month old daughter while I read, the irony was not lost.  We (Anna & I) followed that up with a musical number of our own composition... it began "She was getting behind on the plan/ getting desperate to locate a man..." and poked fun at my sister and now-brother-in-law's unusual meeting and courtship.  It was a pretty catchy tune, and Anna & I had way too much fun singing it.


The wedding was gorgeous-- flowers and candles which many talented folks had spent the week arranging, unique music, a Gospel-centered ceremony, awesomely cool vows (hehehe there is a story there), my dad crying his eyes out (he's a softie when it comes to his daughters), a bazillion little cousins in tiny suits and flower girl dresses, and my bubbly, friend-to-everyone sister as a bride radiant with happiness.  The reception was tamer than the rehearsal dinner, but was still a blast, full of old friends and family come from far away; good food and more great music (like my sister Anna's performance with a family friend for the couple's first dance).  Dancing, talking, photo shoots, food, nursing my refluxy, grumpy baby in a bathroom stall and gladly handing her off to auntie after auntie, and all of a sudden, we were blowing bubbles on Prince Charming and Snow White as they sailed past, then... they were gone.

My husband got me and the baby home, where we collapsed still-dressed on the bed.  I got to thinking... about how right everything had been, from their courtship to their wedding ceremony to their send-off, and that amidst all the toasting and the roasting, the dancing, and the music, that I hadn't really heard or said much to honor them.  I resolved to correct that with a blog post... but, well, between the 4-state-drive home and two more months of acid reflux in Eowyn, then an absolutely travel-packed summer (we were away more than we were home)... it never happened.  So now, it's finally time.  :)


Nicole & Colin, I want to honor you for walking in purity and in righteousness.  You guys did so many things right.  Two years of dating under parental supervision... Colin even agreed to book/Bible studies with my dad (his girlfriend's father... woah talk about intimidating).  A commitment to a God-honoring ceremony and an engagement period that honored each other.  You have each always had an attitude of doing what was best for the other, not just yourself.  I'm not saying that you were perfect, that it was a flawlessly smooth road between starting to like each other and driving away as Mr. & Mrs.-- there were plenty of blow-ups and frustrations and eye-rollings, and "seriously, Dad!?"s, and lots of times where y'all wished you were already married and the whole dating/engaged phase was just OVER.  But I am confident that God the Father was smiling as you got married, and that angels were cheering & devils were booing at your triumph over the overwhelming worldly pressures to compromise and rebel.  There wasn't any "oh I hope no one ever finds out about __" in your eyes as you watched each other during the ceremony.


Little saddens me more than to see our culture's acceptance & encouragement of promiscuity & independence at the cost of parental authority.  Yeah, that was a mouthful, I know... but think about it.  What romantic comedy have you seen recently in which the happily-ever-after couple didn't sleep together before they were married?  ... yeah... can't think of one, either, aside from Jane Austen novels. Today, it's expected that one way you show that you are a grown-up, one way that you show you really love each other, is that you sleep together and see if the sparks fly.  I have seen a lot of shows in which parents tell their kids that they shouldn't sleep with someone "until they are ready," or "unless you really love each other."  I haven't seen any in which parents told them that being "in love" & "ready" meant that you were wearing a wedding band on your finger.  What movie has the star-crossed-lovers listening to and honoring their loving, wonderful parents as they date?


In real life, promiscuity doesn't lead to happy-ever-afters.  Refusal to listen to parents isn't smart or wise.  I can think of literally dozens of friends of mine who went against their parent's advice or other godly counsel and dated that guy or that girl, and are now hurting and full of regrets.  By contrast, I know of only two couples who went against their parents' wishes and have "lived to tell the tale," and in both cases they had the backing of their churches and Scripture, and it was their families who were in the wrong.  I've seen people who lived together torn up inside by a break-up, bleeding and wounded as if they had gotten a divorce.  Promiscuity leads to shame, to deep heart-ache, to lonliness, to disease, to pregnancies (or even worse, abortions), to brides feeling like filthy hypocrites in their white wedding gowns.  And even if you make it through "unscathed," there's still the opinion of God to consider.  Deep down every human knows that He is watching, that He does care, and that there will be a reckoning.  God's laws aren't arbitrary; they are set up for our own greater joy!  (Please don't misunderstand: in no way do I want to minimize God's forgiveness, of any sin or even sinful life pattern-- "His love can make the foulest clean; His blood availed for me!"  Whenever there is repentance, there is forgiveness and a new beginning-- "the vilest offender who truly believes/ that moment from Jesus forgiveness receives./Praise the Lord!")


Purity isn't prudishness.  Honoring your parents and obeying them even in your dating relationship isn't a sign of weakness or immaturity.  Both take far more courage, prayer, and supernatural grace than giving in to what comes naturally.  The reward, though, is a wedding day like you two had:  one in which there were no regrets.


I raise my glass to you, and to the warriors behind you whose fervent prayers kept you walking in the Light.