Halloween, All Hallow's Eve (All Saints Day), and Reformation Day

Liam is always so observant!

Happy Halloween, All Hallow's Eve, and Reformation Day!! We're still not sure what exactly our family take on this cultural, church & historical holiday will be, but it will be a lot of fun... and will probably be a combo of all three.  Whatever we decide, we want to celebrate the day on purpose-- in a way that is distinctly Christ-honoring and distinctly Szrama! :)  We want to enjoy a fun American tradition as well as use it as a chance to reach out to our neighbors and bless them.  We definitely want to be DIFFERENT than "the world" but that comes out most of all in our attitudes, character, and treatment of others.  "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, that your houses remain dark on Halloween..." oh wait, I mean, "by your love for one another."  Christians definitely have a whole spectrum of takes on this particular holiday, and as long as each practices their conviction in love and not fear, they can do so in a way that honors the Lord.

Some articles I've been reading and thinking through...

-- from the intentional avoidance perspective, by Dr. Albert Mohler (president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary)
-- from the exuberant celebration of Reformation Day/selective Halloween perspective, by Douglas Wilson (pastor & author, and one of our favorite religious/political/social commentary bloggers)
-- from the redeeming Halloween as a cultural and church holiday, by Jason Gray (Christian singer-songwriter & Rabbit Room member)
-- from the observation of the church holiday All Saints Day (All Hallow's Eve =Halloween) perspective, from the American Vision group

I really appreciate how that last article ties together the three simultaneous events:  Reformation Day, All Saints Day and Halloween in this way:

"Thus, the defeat of evil and of demonic powers is associated with Halloween. For this reason, Martin Luther posted his 95 challenges to the wicked practices of the Church to the bulletin board on the door of the Wittenberg chapel on Halloween. He picked his day with care, and ever since Halloween has also been Reformation Day."

Switzerland, Day 3: Checking out Schwyz

Today, Ryan & I went our gender-separate ways.  He & our host, Christophe, headed to work and a Drupal meet-up. Christophe owns a business and has been a user of the Drupal software Ryan writes since the beginning.  He thinks he was the FIRST user of Ubercart in Europe, and met Ryan at DrupalCon Barcelona... which we attended as newlyweds 5 years ago.  [I just went back and dredged up blog posts from that trip, for anyone wanting a throwback: "Hola de Catalunya," "Thoughts on Picasso," "Ryan's First European Meal" and "I Got my Paella!"  Fun times!]  ANYWAY... Ryan was gone all day.

Super-old Door in the Bethlehem House

Sabina offered herself as tour guide around, and to take me wherever I wanted to go.  I slept in a bit, tried to get Liam to eat, sent out postcards through this nifty little site, and we had lunch at home before venturing forth into the fog & chill.  The drive to Schwyz (capital of the canton Schwyz) was unwordly and a bit creepy-- the fog went all the way to the ground and was so thick that nothing was visible until BOOM! It was at arm's length.  I've read descriptions of objects "rising from the mist" and that was exactly what it looked like.  Anyway, I enjoyed the old city center, with its cobble stones, street-level shops with family dwellings leaning over the eaves, chapel spires, church bells and clock chimes.  We toured the oldest wooden house in Europe:  the Bethlehem House, built in 1287--it's as old as Notre Dame and predates Switzerland as a nation, as well as the later family mansion known as the Ital Reding House.  Both belonged to the Reding family, whose austere portraits we scrutinized in the 2 floors we could see of the 6.  Sabina is so easy to talk to and very considerate and helpful.  The perfect hostess and a wonderful tour guide!  She explained several aspects of the houses to me, as there were no tour guides-- I couldn't believe it when they unlocked the houses for us and turned us loose!

Oven in typical green tile

I was suddenly famished as only someone eating for 2 (haha or more, in my case) can be, so we walked through the downtown again for my first Swiss supermarket experience.  Don't worry, female friends:  I am bringing you back PLENTY of chocolate.  Also the biggest Toblerone I've ever seen (600 g) and sweet chestnut paste, which is a wonderful crepe topping.  Swiss chocolates are just amazing, and their combinations are superb:  my new favorite is milk chocolate with raisins & almonds (with NO plastins and NO vanillin, take THAT Hershey!!).  Honey is another popular filling.

Our last stop was the Swiss Army Knife factory store, where I picked up several Christmas gifts at a great price.  They have knives with EVERYTHING on them-- Sabina and I laughed that you don't even need to open them to use them as a deadly weapon-- just hold them like a rock and bash someone over the head with it!  We actually had a running joke about all the things we could use as weapons, starting with a truly hefty candlestick in the Reding House.  I had an "Aha!" moment which led me to explain the game "Clue," which as you probably knows, lists "candlestick" as a possible murder weapon. Anyway, I also was tickled at the Swiss Army PERFUME lines!  A sniff proved that it was not Eau de Sweaty Boy.  I'm pretty sure no army smells like anything anyone would WANT to exude.

Dinner was me, & Sabina, and the 4 teenaged young men living in her house.  It was great.  Amazing salad, shepherd's pie, songs sung in canons in several languages, and jokes, lots of jokes-- all of the knock-knock, pun, blonde (or Austrian), or "Your Mama" variety.  The Gallis are raising some stellar boys and are a great inspiration to Ryan & I with our little man (hopefully men someday =D).

Enjoy these pics of the Bethlehem House:

Fish Font- obviously these folks weren't strapped for cash

The ceiling was WAY low-- I could stand up straight in the rooms but not through the doors

Original Stone Sink (drains straight to the outside)

Cast-iron Skillets

Can you imagine learning to walk on this floor? 

Cloth bag filled with cherry-pits that were warmed in the tile oven and then taken to warm the beds.  Sabina remembers using some like these as a child!

And these from the Ital Reding House:

The Deluxe Version tile oven, with paintings representing each canton.  This one is for Schwyz.

Dining room with gorgeous paneled ceiling!

Can't believe our time here is almost over!
-Christina

Exporing Switzerland, Day 2

Just really quick, because I'm dead on my feet, but I do have a few pictures to share!

At the suggestion of our hosts, we boarded a train that took us about 2 hours from Zurich, up to the top of Mt. Rigi, called "The Queen of the Mountains," boasting a key triangulation point at her summit (the "Rigi Kulm").  We rode a public-transit train, then switched in Goldau to a "rack railway," with a cogged wheel to grip the mountainside and ascend despite the steep grade.  We rode that all the way to the Rigi Kulm!  I think it must have been senior-citizen-discount day, because the cars were crammed full of Swedish octogenarians, all of whom gushed over Liam in fluent Swiss German-- I heard the word "hertzig" a lot (meaning "cute")... I just smiled and nodded and thanked them ("danke" is one of the few German words I know).

Our hosts, Christof & Sabina, had told us that we would be above the fog on the mountain top, and that it would be sunny and warm up there, but it was hard to believe them as we climbed through the densest grey fog I've ever experienced and pulled our jackets on.  Then, we could see the mist thinning around us and see blue sky at the top of the pines... and then... wow!  We burst through into a sunny warmth that had me longing to take off my shoes and run barefoot!  The only sounds were happy human voices, the occasional train departure, and the tinkle of goat bells.

We enjoyed a nice heavy Alpine Swiss meal of "Rigivurst" (pork & beef sausage), applesauce, french fries, Swiss cheese (artesanally made on site) and chocolate. Some Swiss genius decided to make a milk chocolate bar with raisins and hazelnuts in it... wow.  I am a believer!  Ryan & I walked to the top of the mountain, climbed the satellite/TV/radio/cell tower, and explored a little.  I sat in the grass with Liam while Ryan played mountain goat and jumped down some pretty steep slopes!  Thank you, Lord for this blessing I never even knew to ask for!

See more pictures here!

That's not a lake behind me:  it's fog!

It was SO BRIGHT!

Standing up in the communications tower

Last Day in Paris... with BOTH of my Boys!!

Today (Sunday) was our last day in Paris, and our first real full day together as couples.  Liz & I had decided we'd spend the day down near the true city-center of Paris:  l'Ile de la Cite.  Some of our favorite sights & sites down there:  Notre Dame de Paris, la Conciergerie, Berthillion ice cream, the little park Square René Viviani, the fun little book store "Shakespeare & Company" (where authors can live for free for a year in exchange for helping in the shop and actively writing), and traditional Breton "gallettes de sarrasin"-- crepes made entirely from buckwheat flour. Liz & I both prefer to have at least a checklist, loose schedule-goal, or flexible plan.  However, being too OCD about timetables or to-do lists can be so restrictive and lead you to majorly stress out for no reason, and miss out on all those spontaneous opportunities you can NEVER predict.  Oh yeah, and you might have to stop and change your baby.  So we went with the "loose goals" approach. :)

Josh & Ryan entertained themselves in line

We headed into the city around 11, taking the metro in. We came up on the south side of the Seine right in the heart of the college-y district, and (everyone but me) grabbed a sandwich lunch from a street vendor. Then it was off to Notre Dame, checking out the old-book & poster sellers on the riverbanks on the way.  We decided the day was perfect enough to go up to Notre Dame's "very tippy top" as I put it, which Ryan had done but none of the rest of us.  They only let up a group at a time, and the line was very long, so Liz and I let the boys stand in line while we went off for Berthillon ice cream, which is still, in my opinion, the best in the world.  Sorry, Haagen-Dazs.  You got nothing.  Every year we have come, Ryan & I have tried to find the original Berthillon "salon," where they make the ice cream served all over the city.  Liz had looked it up online and was pretty sure it was on Ile-St-Louis just like the window shop we'd always bought our Berthillon.  This time I was smart and actually ASKED that shop owner, and he told us the address, which is only about 3 blocks down from the window.  On the way, I thought the crepes (sold through another window, through which we could see them being made) smelled amazingly appetizing, and on a whim I asked if these were made with any flour.  The cook, who appeared to be a young foreign student, immediately asked if I was gluten-intolerant, and confirmed that, yes, these were made with 100% buckwheat flour & are gluten-free.  So I enjoyed a piping hot salted butter caramel crepe as we walked.  It's rare that I get to eat so simply, and so commonly (if that makes sense), so I doubly enjoyed my crepe.

Vue of Notre-Dame from Notre Dame

After several false alarms, Liz & I found the REAL Berthillon ice cream salon, complete with the stained wood paneling Liz had read about online.  We decided to bring the boys back later and in the meantime bought a few scoops --mine were bitter chocolate, salted butter caramel & candied chestnut-- to share with our men.  It was fun licking them as we weaved among other shoppers back across the Isle-St-Louis and across the picturesque bridge connecting it to Isle-de-la-Cite.

Notre Dame did NOT disappoint, and the weather was gorgeous!! Warm sunshine, but not too hot.  It's hard to remember that Victor Hugo made Quasimodo up; the story is so ingrained in Notre Dame's history now-- there are even quotes from the book (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) all over the balconies, walkways & towers!  I would love to read a historical fictional account set in Notre Dame's heyday-- perhaps a young monk or acolyte? (if anyone knows of any please pass em on) -- I can imagine so many adventures and holy encounters in that place!  Alternately soaring, menacing, glorious and foreboding... and the bells!  Oh, the bells are so romantic! Heheh... I definitely felt the 400+ steps in my leg muscles!  Ryan & I took turns wearing Liam up, and he was duly admired by visitors from all over the world.  Apparently his charm is international-- like father, like son!

After Notre Dame we rested a bit in the charming little park Square René Viviani, home of Paris' oldest tree. Unfortunately the spot's beauty was partially marred by an inebriated and possibly insane bum singing, dancing and urinating in it... along with the dozen other homeless folks camped out there.  Too bad.  We played around with Josh & Liz's new camera, taking all sorts of crazy-face pictures (that just never gets old!). It's pretty amazing how expressive humans are!  Just mind blowing.  [Mike Mason has a quote on that... I'll dig it up when I get home.]

Taken from Square Rene-Viviani

Shakespeare & Company is a crazy fun little book store that I highly recommend!  I started reading Lois Lowry's new sequel to The Giver, and can't wait to get back to it in the US. We tried to see the monument to the deported Jews of Paris but it was closed... and Liam started screaming bloody hungry murder.  The child refused to nurse and had finished the bottle we'd brought with us.  My only option (besides going back to our apartment) was to get to him to suck a pacifier to sleep and then try to nurse him in his sleep.  Not the easiest thing to do in downtown Paris on a Sunday afternoon.  However, it actually worked!! Thanks to my Ergo and a nursing cover and a lot of walking & patting and trying not to turn beet red as my son screamed loud enough to clear out six blocks, he finally conked out and then ate perfectly in his sleep.  I certainly hope he outgrows this soon.

Amidst all this we made our way back to the Berthillon salon.  There was quite a line... but I think it was worth the wait!  We didn't let our dessert ruin our dinner, though:  I led us all back to that same little creperie, and we all watched in fascination as our various crepes were made:  Emmental (cheese)-ham-and-sauteed onion for me!  Munching them as we made our way home over the Seine's ancient bridges in the gloaming dusk somehow captured all that Paris is to me.  What a great last day. :)

In front of Paris' oldest tree

Peeping through some ruins in the Square

Goofing off

Family pic in Maison Berthillon's Salon de The-- Ryan & I split a "Coupe Belle-Helene" and yet another salted-butter-carmel scoop. :) 

Just for old time's sake, here are pics from our first taste of Berthillon ice cream, also a shared Coupe Belle-Helene, at the Cafe Panis (just across the Seine from Notre Dame de Paris) in February 2010, accompanied by another bald, blue-eyed teething baby...

Paris with the Conqueror, Day 5

the ubiquitous symbol...

Once again, trying to feed The Small King meant we got out the door around 1 pm.  Oh well.  I felt like a super-cool Parisian resident with my Navigo metro pass; no more fumbling with paper tickets for us!  I just waved my pass over the machine in the "Navigo only" lines, and voila!  I'm on my way.  Hehehe of course I still look like a tourist when I stand slightly furrow-browed trying to figure out which metro lines to get on once I'm past the turnstiles...  I can't ever seem to remember off the top of my head, but instead obsessively check the maps whenever I see them.  I wouldn't make it as a secret agent, nope.

My main goal today was to try some Parisian second-hand stores-- something I've never before tried.  A bit of researching had suggested that Guerrisol would be my best bet, since I wasn't particularly set on any one brand or vintage item, but rather would enjoy looking and seeing what I could find.  On my loose "list" were:  French-made/designed children's clothes (I have a whole host of cousins, nephews, nieces, friends' children and then my own that I can buy for-- so much fun), sweaters for Ryan, and leather boots for me.  I didn't find any boots in my size (40/41 are hard to find in Europe, much less second-hand), but that's ok.  I'll keep looking!  I did grab some adorable kids' clothes, though; I absolutely love French styles for children.  I tend to avoid the American teeny-bopper style that's flashy and sequined and prefer more classic simple childish-looking items.  I also did find several men's sweaters by good French brands for 2 euros a pop!  I guess one fellow shopper could sense the deal-hunter in me because he came over so excited to show me a men's coat selling for 5 euros that he knew retailed for over 500 -- he just had to tell someone!  There was also this really stylishly-dressed older man (maybe 65) who was getting sweaters, and I kind of watched what he went for and copied him, since he managed to pull off quite a good look. :)

Our Small King

After my purchasing, Liam was beginning to get heavy, and I was pretty hot from wearing him and all my cool-weather clothing in that overheated store.  It was starting to rain a bit, and a Starbucks beckoned across the street.  I grabbed a black-and-white mocha, refusing to think about the price, as well as a mug of hot water to heat up a bottle for him.  All the workers seemed to be African/Arabic immigrants and they absolutely swooned over the baby.  I've had about a dozen people come up to me and start telling me just how beautiful he is.  I must say I agree. :)

We people-watched (I tried to identify the languages around me) and enjoyed our respective snacks.  I let Liam lick a bit of my goat-milk-yogurt and he couldn't decide if he loved it or didn't.

Afterwards we hopped back on the metro to the next stop of the Basilisque du Sacre-Coeur (Church of the Sacred Heart) on Montmartre hill.  I always enjoy walking up the cobble-stoned streets to this district, lined as they are with stores hawking every sort of tourist paraphernalia, or fabrics.  This time, since I was pretty encumbered with baby & bags, I took the "funicular" (cable car) up to the top of the Butte.  There were some pretty impressive street performers!  One ripped African climbed a lampost, held a soccer ball between his foot & chin while performing acrobatics... another, fully covered in gold paint, sounded exactly like a bird when he moved.

Sacre-Coeur... never gets old!

It was starting to sprinkle as we walked down the hill back into the metro stop.  The metros were P.A.C.K.E.D.  One nice lady was trying to help me --making sure I got a seat, advising me to wait til the next train, etc.  It always does my heart good when a capable young man gives up his seat without being asked, to me as a young mom or to an older man or woman.  Decency in my fellow man is always good to see.  (understatement I know).  Now I'm back in the apartment unwinding and trying to hold off eating until Ryan gets home.  Someone is cooking in one of the other nearby apartments and it's mouth-watering.  French cuisine, you know... Lumiere had it right "the dinners here are never second-best!"

View from Montmartre

Eiffel Tower of Chocolate

Paris with the Liam, Day 4

It was a cold, rainy afternoon 'round here... of course.  I say of course because it was the day I'd planned to meet a friend across town, so of COURSE it would have to be our coldest day yet.  Liam & I had a late start.  I'd arranged to meet her at 14 hr (2 pm), and when I looked at the clock after finally getting both of us fed, dressed & happy, it was 1:20.  The metro system is amazing, though.  We were across the Seine in the outskirts ("banlieus") of Paris 20 minutes later.  The metro went above-ground as we crossed over the river, granting quite a lovely view of the city before dipping back underground.  We emerged in a part of Paris I'd never explored before:  la Defense, which is their new buisness district.  It was completely unlike the Paris I'm familiar with:  towers and new buildings everywhere, and not a church spire or cobblestone to be seen!  I misunderstood my friend's instructions about which metro stop to get off at, so I ended up walking for quite a while in a downpour.  Liam was snug as a bug in a sling under my rain poncho.  I, however, didn't realize how wet I was until I arrived at my friend's house! Oh well, it was cool to walk through another part of the city.  The little township of "Puteaux" was quite nice-- residential  with schools, grocery stores and shops all stacked neatly like in all french towns.  This one just has the advantage of being a short metro ride or walk over the Seine from Paris.

I'd been looking forward to seeing Cecile probably more than almost anything else this trip.  She took a half-day off from work just to hang out, drink coffee (and munch on Trader Joe chocolate-salt-and sugar-covered almonds.  Addicting another continent, one person at a time, oh yeah!), swap babies and catch up.  Centuries-old buildings are great, but you can't put a price on friendship.  There's something so encouraging about seeing someone once a year or so and picking right back off where you left off-- watching them faithfully serve Christ and continue to grow in godliness.  It's like when you both have the same best friend, you always have lots to talk about.  I was glad to see her and meet her new little girl and see how much her little boy had grown (he's a month older than Eowyn).  We got to go pick them up from school/nursery, shop at their local little store, and "bavarder" (chatter/talk).

Around 7, just as it began to get dark, Liam and I hopped on the metro again and got off one stop later towards town in Neuilly, a rather nice suburb in the northwest of Paris.  As has become our tradition, Ryan's CEO Fred & his wife Claire played their roles as amazing host & hostess & treated us to a lovely French meal.  I FINALLY got to meet their 3 munchkins, who have always been off visiting grandparents when I've visited before.  Sweet kids who absolutely adored Liam.  I thought of our little Eowyn when their 3 year old daughter declared herself her daddy's princess. :)  Little girls and daddies the world over...

Dinner was pumpkin soup to start, then pork filet mignon with honeyed gravy, turnips and dinner wines followed by several types of cheese, figs & grapes.  So good.  Claire always impresses me by how amazing she makes simple food taste with a few well-selected spices, and in typical French fashion, it's all presented beautifully.

Our taxi ride home late gave us a beautiful view of the city at night, passing the Arc de Triomphe and going down the lit Champs-Elysees. Our taxi driver said he's lived here 40 years and that sight never gets old.  Paris is one city it's hard to take for granted!

So blessed to be here,
Christina

Piggybacking On the Experts...

Maybe someday I'll write a book... "applying what we learn from experts in our own parenting"-- all the techniques I've learned from lactantion consultants and education faculty and occupational therapists and dentists, stuff they had to pay thousands to learn, I can in a small way mimic and apply to my own kids, for free. 

Like this article on pain-management in kids:http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2012/09/doctor-says-it-wont-hurt.  Totally gonna use that next time Eowyn needs a shot or stitches or anything painful or scary.

Or like this blog devoted to bilingual parenting:  http://www.multilingualliving.com/  When we start formal home-schooling, this is gonna be regularly accessed.

Or like the oral exercises I'm using to teach Liam to properly suck: http://www.beckmanoralmotor.com/videos.html  Using these to "play" with every baby I hold from now on.

Super cool stuff!  I LOVE being a life-long learner!! There is so much to learn and know and apply and do and try and tweak!! :)

Posterior Tongue Tie, In Short

Many of you- especially my FaceBook friends- have been following the ups & downs of Liam's feeding difficulties. While I plan on writing a fuller narrative of how we discovered his problem and (through many pitfalls and dead-ends!) got a diagnosis, and the finally a correction, I've been wanting to wait until we are further along in the happy chapter of that narrative (I try and remain hopeful that such a happy chapter will come).

A view of his maxillary (lip) tie- see how
it extends all the way through his gum?

But many of our friends & family have also been a bit confused about what exactly is "wrong" with Liam.  He's always been fairly big for his age and seems a perfectly healthy little guy, so what was the big deal?

He has a condition known as "posterior lingual tie"- or posterior tongue tie, PTT for short- as well as a "maxillary tie."  Basically, his tongue was tied down to the floor of his mouth in the back, so it was really hard for him to swallow correctly. Apparently your tongue does all these amazing things in rapid succession-- closing off your airway so whatever you swallow doesn't drown you, and directing it down into your stomach rather than up into your nose. When the tongue is restricted it can't do those things, so he would regularly choke and aspirate milk into his trachea/lungs. This isn't a huge deal with breast milk, which is antiviral, sterile, and easily absorbed by the lung tissue, but you can imagine it would be really really bad with, say, guacamole, in a few years. He also swallowed tons of extra air, causing painful gas bubbles and acid reflux. AND he would get confused and send food up through his nose instead of down into his stomach. Not comfy when it was breast milk, but was LESS comfy when it was Tylenol or Diflucan (a medicine he was taking). Reflux causes its own problems (as I full well know from Eowyn... looking back I wonder if she had a mild PTT that resolved itself around 5 months). Liam also had a lip tied too closely to his upper gum, which made it impossible for him to get an air-tight seal (therefore suction) on a nipple, and could cause cavities and orthodontic problems later. I have a very fast let-down of milk, which would be a challenge for any baby to handle (Eowyn had some difficulties too), but he was absolutely overwhelmed.  On the one hand, the amount of milk that shot down his throat meant he always got enough, but on the other hand, it meant he quickly grew genuinely frightened of eating-- the poor kid felt like he was being water-boarded!  Both ties together meant that his "latch" (the way he grabbed onto whatever he was using to eat) was always too shallow, that he "chewed" rather than sucked.  That's painful for a mom, and can damage her tissues so she has recurrent or chronic infections like thrush, which is in turn bad for the baby (causes colic, skin rashes, sore mouth, fatigue, lowered immune function).  Check for all of the above.

You can see how the frenulum (that little membrane under his tongue)
is pretty raised up from the floor of his mouth

The most pressing problem, though, was his total resistance to eating.  He would refuse to eat-- burying his tiny face away from breast or bottle, screaming, crying, refusing to suck or latch, becoming frantically upset-- for hours.  While most babies his age eat every 3 hours, he would regularly make himself go 6 hours between feedings during the day, and it would take me up to 3 hours to get him to finally eat.  When he did eat he would have the problems listed above, and all of them were just getting worse.  Nursing was hard because it was painful for me, frustrating for him, and physically taxing for us both.  A bottle was no better because he had trouble sucking hard enough to get a bottle down, and he resisted it as hard as he did me.

You can see that he wasn't able to raise his tongue
very high (I never saw him touch the roof of his mouth with it)

The surgery he had was simply a doctor (the dentist Dr. Kotlow in Albany, NY) taking lasers and slicing through those extra membranes (in most people they disappear somewhere along the intra-uterine part of our lives).  Sorry, Daddy Ron-- he won't have a gap between his two front teeth any more. :)

The more I learn about the simple reflexes of swallowing & breathing-- they are actually WAY complex-- the more I marvel at just how fearfully and wonderfully we are made by a GOOD, beauty & order-loving Creator!

Norwex Adoption Raffle!

Calling one, calling all! if you have a heart for orphans, please consider buying a raffle ticket or two to benefit my friends' international adoption! My friend Adam is in the DRC at this very moment meeting their two new daughters and his wife Ruth will be traveling to get them and bring them home in about a month!  Tickets for the raffle are $10 and you could win a very nice cleaning supplies basket from Norwex (super-cool all-natural cleaning products)!!  I personally can attest to their effectiveness as well as their general niftiness! :)  

Go here to read more about the raffle process and to buy tickets. 

Left, Right, & Servant-Hearted Kids

Ahh, Facebook, how you can bless me!  It's cool because it's a network of friends-- people you know from all different circles and stages of life, with all sorts of opinions and ideas and priorities and expertises, and so you are exposed to completely "unrelated" things one right after another, which then connect uniquely in your own brain.  This post comes from one such "connection"... made around 4 am, one of Liam's favorite meal times.  (This kid is a wonderful sleeper, though-- usually goes from 9-4 without a peep, then again to 7 or 8!)

First comes a link to a great little broadcast series from Family Life radio (thank you, Allison for linking to this!).  The series is called Cleaning House, and it's Kay Wyma summarizing her book Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement.  One day, this mom of 5 realized that doing everything for her kids-- cooking, cleaning, fixing, chauffeuring, etc.-- was actually handicapping them.  We parents teach our kids SO MUCH, even unintentionally.  When we do everything for them-- out of love!-- we are teaching them that they can't do it themselves, that they deserve to have others do it for them, and we are totally neglecting to teach them to look outside themselves and see what they can do for others.  You'd think kids would pick up on serving others by constantly being served, but unfortunately due to our sinful selfish hearts, that's just not how it works.  So this mom & her husband came up with 12 life skills they wanted their children to have and focused on introducing one a month-- skills like laundry, cooking, yard work, cleaning, and serving others.  By the end of it, even their 8-year old was completely preparing, serving & cleaning up after a meal, for instance.

I LOVED her observations that one reason teenagers in our culture tend to pull away from the family is that they aren't "needed" by the family.  Whereas before kids were necessary for the family's survival-- either as apprentices in a growing trade, harvesters in a sustenance farm, wage-earners whose wages purchased seed corn, or co-laborers in the family kitchen-- now, affluance means kids can play video games all day and no one in the family suffers.  Who wants to feel useless and unappreciated?  No wonder peers who need and value you seem more important than Mom & Dad!  The truth is, families DO need every one of their members in order to do as much as they can for God's Kingdom.

Even at age 2, Eowyn loves helping me in the kitchen- mixing, sorting silverware, and setting the table.

We really do a disservice to our children by not allowing them the freedom to fail.  I so appreciated it when my principal made a rule outlawing parents coming to school after a certain time or students calling their parents to bring forgotten items.  If a kid forgot his lunch, he went hungry or his friends helped him out.  The hours between breakfast and dismissal sure seemed longer, but I'm guessing most kids forgot a grand total of twice at most.  Same with assignments due or textbooks for open-book tests.  Kids learned very quickly that their "forgetting" had consequences, and that them asking Mom to drop everything and bring them something was not fair to her.  These chances to fail in a safe way (forgetting a paper and getting a 10 point late penalty is not really a crisis in the grand scheme of things) are crucial in teaching kids responsibility and building TRUE self-worth, because by failing and trying again kids learn that they CAN succeed.  While doing kids' homework for them helps short-term, it absolutely does not prepare them for real life... which is the point of homework, right?

But what I most appreciated about Kay's "experiment" was that her goal wasn't just to raise independent, self-confident kids, though that is a result.  Nor was it to make her own life easier (nothing sits worse in a kid's stomach than their parents complaining about how much work they are).  Neither was her goal to raise fulfilled, happy kids, though that is also a result.  No, the ultimate goal is right in line with Scripture:  the raising of children with the heart and ability to serve others.  Kids who know all that goes into preparing a meal, maintaining a home, keeping a job, or watching little ones will know how to help others in those tasks, and be able to help them.  I've had other mom friends tell me that they appreciate it when I come over because as a fellow mom I know what likely needs doing and how to do it.  I want my kids to be self-starting servants who do what needs doing without being asked.

Now to these thoughts add this political chart. My first reaction when looking at it was "oooh how helpful in understanding & comparing the two value systems!"  When you read either side, you see how they both have honorable intentions and both "sound good"!  Let's leave that aside, though, and zoom in on the parenting goal.  To the left, we have the "self-nurturing child, who, through openness, empathy & self-examination becomes a fulfilled adult."  To the right, we have the "self-reliant child, who through self-confidence, self- discipline, and strong morals becomes a self-reliant adult."  It hit me that both ideals fall short, because both end with the child.  A self-nurtured, fulfilled child left to himself is selfish and self-absorbed, with life being all about his own happiness.  A self-reliant, self-confident child left to himself is equally selfish and self-absorbed, proud, graceless, and determined to make his own life exactly what he wants it to be.  The Gospel takes the best of both "sides" and goes beyond it.  I could have labeled this post "Why Neither the Left nor Right Can Save Us."  The Gospel is our only hope-- individually and communally.

Jesus makes life all about knowing Him, pleasing Him, bringing honor to Him-- not self.  The Gospel declares us to be incredibly needy and broken, yet through the Cross and Resurrection makes us capable and grateful.  We have been shown so much mercy, so much self-sacrificial service, that we are able and wanting to serve and extend grace to others.  We have the power of the Holy Spirit to empower us.  We're free from trying to be happy now in 2 ways:  1, we know the source of all Joy, the One we were made to love, so we can be TRULY happy; 2, we know that the best is yet to come-- Heaven!!

So, here's my goal:  to raise kids that are 1. fulfilled because they treasure and are treasured by Jesus Christ, and 2. self-reliant in that they are able to serve those around them.  I want my kids to take their internal joy and abilities beyond themselves, out into the world to be gracious servants of all.  Guess I'd better be a good example!  These thoughts have been typed out between nap & snack times so please pardon their disjointedness, and please comment!

Motherly Musing

This little guy has me physically exhausted and mentally spent from trying to convince him to eat... some days my chief accomplishment is getting enough ounces into him to keep him gaining weight.  There's a lot of shushing, singing, dancing, swaying, and trying of innumerable positions on my part and a lot of crying, face-burying, choking, spitting and thrashing on his part.  My back and arms are so tired from holding him, my neck is aching from trying to see what he's doing, my patience is tried to its limit, and my mind is working overtime trying to remember all the therapies and exercises I'm supposed to be doing even as I try and weigh the options for care (second revision? pursuing the specialist out of state? cranio-sacral therapy? OT? suck training? letting him sleep?  pushing to eat? bottle? try nursing? correct his latch?  let him eat however so long as he eats?).  It's a lot of responsibility for one person to carry.

And yet.

When I think of today, what first of all comes to mind is his little hand reaching out and grabbing at a toy for the first time-- a giraffe on his swing tray.  I remember the joy I felt at seeing him reach this developmental milestone.  Next I remember the sweet smile and coos he gave me-- the way his eyes connected with mine and it seemed like he was genuinely talking to me.  And then I think of his joy at finding his thumb no matter what his position.  My mind is full of his baby-smell, nestled slurping away on said thumb against my shoulder.  I think of the joy of him, my son.  I'll take all the long hours- for the rest of his life- gladly, for the sake of having him.

And I wonder.

Isn't this how the Lord thinks of me?  Not of the tremendous trouble I put Him through-- not of all my failings and illogicalities and weaknesses.  Not all the ways I make my own life difficult.  Not all the ways my weaknesses trip me up.  But the joy of me, His daughter?  I can't imagine Job was a perfect man, and yet we overhear Him bragging "Have you considered My servant, Job? There is no one like him!"  God describes Himself as "taking great delight in me, quieting me with His love, rejoicing over me with loud singing!"(Zephaniah 3:17)

It's mind-blowing, incomprehensible. It'd be heresy to say things like this about how the God of the universe feels about a warped fragile insignificant creature like me if He didn't say it first. "Oh Love incomprehensible, that made Thee bleed for me!  The Judge of all has suffered death to set His prisoner free!" (hymn by Augustus Toplady & Anne Steele)

Like I said, pregnancy and child-bearing is good for my soul. :)

Joy in Our Hearts-- Lots of It

I listened to music while laboring with both my babies. With Eowyn, the song I most remember (the one playing as she was born, actually) is Sandra McCracken's "Close of the Day"-- fittingly a song about all the simple blessings of life -- "close of the day/ fireworks and rain, feels like a holiday/ unburdens my frame"-- as well as the deep blessings of the Gospel-- " the marks of my name/ torn into Your Hands" --with the refrain "and this is not what I deserve." Really perfect to remember as I contemplated the joy of bringing forth a child contrasted with the Hell I'd have earned myself with all my sin, as well as the far greater pain He went through for me!

Anyway... the song that will always remind me of Liam's birth is Sara Groves' "Joy is in Our Hearts." It's got a great tempo, great contemplative, calm, intense vibe that is perfect for the work of labor. And the words... wow, the words are great for the discomfort, pain and trial of waiting that is the last stage of pregnancy and all of labor. It's also been perfect for me as a new mom full of fears: once you've been given such a precious gift, it's easy to fall prey to the temptation that it will be taken from you. This song helps me remember that even if I lost my little son or worse, I would have Christ, and Him for all eternity!- and that would be reason enough to sing for joy. This song was written, I think, with the persecuted church in mind.

 I pray this little montage encourages you! I get teary just watching it. :) Pregnancy and labor are good for my spiritual condition. Which means we'll probably be having more kids.

"Joy Is in Our Hearts"

"We were pressed on every side,
Full of fear and troubled thoughts;
For good reason we carried heavy hearts

"It is good to come together
In our friendship to remember
All the reasons hope is in our hearts:

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Christ our joy and strength!

"Now with patience in our suffering,

Perseverance in our prayers,

With good reason this hope is in our hearts:
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Christ our joy and strength!

"Oh, we saw the face of angels--

Many good things well-secured

For good reason this joy is in our hearts:

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Christ our joy and strength!

For good reason joy is in our hearts."

Liam One Month Update

How are you already 6 weeks old, Little Man?  Sorry this month's update comes a little bit late; my life is even fuller than it was in your sister's first month of life. I don't like being on the computer while you kids are awake, and when you both are asleep, well, you'd better bet I try to be too.  So blogging has taken quite the nose-dive. But back to you.  At 1 month I measured you as 13 lbs (fully clothed).  The next day you were a bit under 13 lbs naked, rashy and skimping on meals at the doctor's office.  I can't button your 0-3 month onesies anymore, so I know you're growing... my left shoulder attests to your increasing weight.  You fit solidly into 3-6 month clothes now, especially in cloth diapers.  Your arms remain unbelievably long.  Daddy thinks this means you'll be taller than both of us someday.

You're a generally stern little fellow-- the sleepiest baby I've ever seen.  I think you're going to be even more of a Drama King than your sister is Queen, though.  We joke about your ability to go from totally content to completely red-faced and shrieking at the top of your lungs as "going from 0 to 60 in .2 seconds."  You do this frequently.  You detest being naked and love being swaddled.  Doctors have commented on your resistance to being "messed with" and your strength.  Mommy's arms are the only acceptable place for you much of the day.  Partly this is your acid reflux talking (screaming)-- it hurts you to be on your back, just like it did your sister-- but it's also a clear preference.  You want to be held, especially with your arms draped over my shoulder.

It's been precious to me that you are beginning to respond to my voice (once you calmed down at my motor-boating).  I love that you coo, smile at me, and are the noisiest eater & sleeper I've ever heard!  You change "looks" every day-- one night I think I've basically had the same baby twice, and the very next morning, you look completely different.  It's fun.

You rolled over front-to-back at 12 days old, and have repeated the feat several times.  You also "scoot" in your sleep all over the bed.  At least you can't roll back-to-front yet!  I can tell you can see a bit further now and you've been tracking our movements with your eyes since 1 month.  You delight in your play gym toys for about 15 minutes, and then let me know you've been stimulated enough, thank you!

Feeding is difficult.  You've got some "issues" with your tongue and latch; we've tried to get to the bottom of them, but so far it seems you're just going to have to grow out of them.  I hope there's something we find we can do to help speed up that process, because nursing is often frustrating for you instead of comforting.  However, you do get enough to keep being solidly chunky, and you are able to make good work of a bottle when you have to, though you are FAR slower at bottle-feeding that nursing!  Your "fussy time" is often from 2-4 and/or 8-11 pm, usually stemming from your love-hate relationship with nursing.  Thankfully, you usually nurse just fine during the night.  Though you don't have a definite schedule yet- largely because of your difficulty nursing- I do generally try to keep you awake after you eat, and you eat about every 3 hours, cluster feeding regularly in the evenings.

The one other concern I have about your health is this persistant rash you've had.  I'm fairly certain you've got sensitive skin and react to any detergent but soap nuts, Rockin' Green, or homemade soap, but besides that you've been rashy for the past 2 weeks solid.  Your doctor thinks it's a viral rash just working its way out of your system, but I am not so sure something else isn't going on.  Guess we'll see!

We love you Bubbie, Little Man, Liam, William, or, as your sister calls you "Cute Man!"  I shuddered when she declared "sometimes, I call him Bub." but the two of you sure are cute together!  The Lord's been impressing deeply on me just how much the both of you are my most precious earthly treasures. You are such little dears, so eternally weighty in worth.  May you look back one day and be able to say that I gave you the best of every thing I have-- my years, my time, my creativity, my patience, my effort, my resourcefulness and my intellect.  

Love,

Your Mommy