Acid-Reflux and Colic Research BREAKTHROUGH

At least it's a breakthrough for me. :)  As many of you remember, my daughter Eowyn struggled with painful acid reflux (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease, or GERD) from about week 3 of her life to month 5.  We worked through massive amounts of spit-up (the most epic being at my friend Val's house, one which left us both staring speechless as it soaked down through every layer of clothing on me, pooling in my pants waist band-- gross?  tell me about it), refusal to nurse do to painful association, fussiness... and we made it.  (For more on our drug-free War on Reflux, read here.)

But the same brain that exhausted my grandmother with incessant questions in a ceaseless drive to know wasn't happy here.  My daughter wasn't suffering anymore, but... why had she had this condition in the first place?  Why was there an absolute epidemic of acid reflux in my circle of mommy-friends, with Zantac and Prevacid handed out like candy?  This condition has completely exploded, along with it a huge influx of regular, daily prescription drug use in infants-- which in turn is linked to a whole host of potential long-term (chronic, systemic) problems.  With all my baby sitting, etc., I'd never heard of a baby medicated for acid reflux before my friend's son had it (2 years before Eowyn was born).  True, there have always been "colicky" babies, and I'm sure some of the babies now diagnosed with GERD & medicated would have been labeled "colicky" before. Regardless, I wanted to know WHY.

What's a mom to do?  KEEP LOOKING!

My first bit of light came in reading Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride's Gut and Psychology Syndrome, which is an exposition of all the ways gut-flora imbalance (too much harmful yeast & bacteria crowding out the good guys we need for good health) affects us.  One big symptom of an imbalanced gut flora is severe morning sickness during pregnancy, especially if there is no family history for it.  (My mom never had it with any of us 3 girls.  I did. Check.)  These same moms with unbalanced gut flora pass on their imbalance to their children through birth and breastfeeding... often leading to acid reflux in babies.  First light-bulb moment for me.

How do we get our gut flora wacked out in the first place?  Antibiotics.  Diets high in sugar & refined grains.  Formula feeding instead of breast-feeding. Environmental toxins. Our moms (and in some part our dads).  About two generations ago, breastfeeding fell into disrepute, at the same time that drugs like antibiotics and vaccines (containing antibiotics) became an integral part of childhood, as the American diet turned ever-more towards pre-made instead of home-grown and canning overtook fermenting.  It would make sense that now we would see a whole host of moms-- perhaps breast-fed by a formula-fed mom-- who grew up on antibiotics and Little Debbies having bad morning sickness, and then having babies with acid-reflux heretofore unseen in such numbers.  Yes, it all fits.

But what to do about it?  KEEP LOOKING!!

In one of my doula-reading books, I found a citation to a 2007 study published in Pediatrics.  This study, in fact.  The boiled-down version:  two sets of babies (all breast-fed) suffering from generic "colic" were treated in low-tech ways.  One group got simethicone drops (gas drops). The other got a probiotic (beneficial bacteria), Lactobaccilus reuteri.  Both sets of moms were avoiding cow's milk in their own diets.

 "Ninety breastfed colicky infants were assigned randomly to receive either the probiotic L reuteri (10⁸ live bacteria per day) or simethicone (60 mg/day) each day for 28 days. The mothers avoided cow's milk in their diet. Parents monitored daily crying times and adverse effects by using a questionnaire.

RESULTS. Eighty-three infants completed the trial: 41 in the probiotic group and 42 in the simethicone group. The infants were similar regarding gestational age, birth weight, gender, and crying time at baseline. Daily median crying times in the probiotic and simethicone groups were 159 minutes/day and 177 minutes/day, respectively, on the seventh day and 51 minutes/day and 145 minutes/day on the 28th day. On day 28, 39 patients (95%) were responders in the probiotic group and 3 patients (7%) were responders in the simethicone group. No adverse effects were reported.

Did you catch that?  Babies were crying about 160 minutes/day (over 2 1/2 hrs) before the intervention, started crying less within one week of getting the probiotics, and went down to under 1 hour of crying (and which baby doesn't cry about 1 hour a day, all told?)!  The babies in the gas drop group was still crying nearly 2 & 1/2 hours every day by the end of the 4 weeks.  The study summarizes "In our cohort, L reuteri improved colicky symptoms in breastfed infants within 1 week of treatment, compared with simethicone, which suggests that probiotics may have a role in the treatment of infantile colic."  I'd say!!!!!

I will keep my eyes peeled for studies that specifically look at probiotic's role in treating acid-reflux (this study excluded infants with that condition to keep variables to a minimum), and ideas about whether other probiotics could be used, even those in yogurt.  (This particular study used probiotics sold by BioGaia AB from Stockholm, Sweden)

In the meantime, may this help any of you trying to shush a sad baby!!

Announcing...

10 Books Every Parent's Gotta Read

(cross-posted on my Book Review Blog)

My self-appointed-task?  Create a list of the Top Ten Books EVERY parent should read...no matter their child's age, or whether they were adopting or giving birth.  Of course, this is an impossible task and could probably be debated endlessly.  But I like a challenge, and it's been fun. :)  I've tried to include books covering every aspect of a child-- the physical (medical), the mental, the emotional, the spiritual.  Without further ado, here are my (current) top 10, in alphabetical order:

Age of Opportunity- Paul David Tripp-- ok, even if teenage-hood is MILES away, as in, you don't even have a bona fide toddler yet, you probably already are being told to dread the teenage years. Everyone, from your cashier to your nice old neighbor are saying "he's cute now, but oh just wait until he's 16!" This kind of attitude, of dreading adolescence and expecting a rebellious, disrespectful, identity-crisising son or daughter is a self-fulfilling prophecy... AND it's unBiblical. Most of the disciples were teens when they were called to follow our Lord as His closest friends (only Peter & Jesus were old enough to pay the temple tax in Matt. 17:27). Anyway, this book is a breath of fresh air of training children so that you actually enjoy their teen years as much as any others.

Heart of Anger, The: Practical Help for Prevention and Cure of Anger in Children- Lou Priolo-- how many of our children's (and our own!) chronic "behavior problems" stem from sinful anger?  Pretty much all of them... This book first of all helped me to examine my own heart for anger, and bring IT under the Lord's control, and then out of that to help my daughter.  It is excellent in listing ways that we often unwittingly provoke our little ones to anger.

How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor- Robert S. Mendelsohn-- this inclusive guide to childhood illness & treatment is written by an experienced family physician who's delivered and treated thousands of children over the past few decades of practice.  His basic premise is that parents are fully capable of treating 90% of their children's illnesses at home, not only well, but better than a doctor.  This book will help you know when your child needs help beyond what you can give, and how to treat most illnesses at home. He explains that medical school trains doctors to want to meet their patient's parents expectations by intervening, even when rest and time are the best cure.  Get it, read it, be informed, and learn all sorts of ways to ease your child's suffering even when there's nothing that can be done medically (like during a cold).  He covers everything from earaches to teething to vaccines to viruses to infections to the BIG diseases like meningitis that definitely DO need a doctor's help.

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are- Ann Voskamp--not usually a conventional "parenting" selection, I know, but I think the perspective it brings, that of intentionally rejoicing in the mundane, the difficult, and the easily overlooked, is crucial to joy-filled, Christ-exalting parenting.  It's made a huge difference in my life, that's for sure.

Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)- Gavin de Becker-- How do we teach our children to be smart in scary situations and stay safe, yet not be quivering balls of cowardice? What if we are actually far more equipped to sense danger and to instinctively know how to protect ourselves than we know? This book premises that fear is actually an instinct, a gift that can keep children safe when we know how to use it. This book teaches you how to talk through danger with your kids, what to teach them to do when lost, and how to recognize predators & dangerous situations... all the while making your children MORE confident and bold rather than afraid & timid (because knowledge really is power). Especially critical for parents of girls to read!!

Read-Aloud Handbook, The- Jim Trelease-- Every parent can home-educate, no matter where their kids get their grades, with one very simple tool: reading aloud. This book's first section will convince you beyond any shadow of doubt just how precious and vital reading aloud to your children is. The second section recommends books to be read aloud for various ages. Another life-changer for me!

Real Food for Mother and Baby- Nina Planck-- this book will be helpful in laying the foundation for a lifestyle of health, starting before your children are even born (if you add children to your family naturally). Even if you meet your children through adoption, this book will help you help your children maximize their potential through healthy eating. The best guide to maternity, infant & child eating I've ever read. (Chuck '"What to Expect When You're Expecting's" nutritional guides and buy this one instead.)

Shepherding a Child's Heart- Tedd Tripp-- my favorite help in knowing how to lovingly, Biblically discipline and train my daughter. This book revolutionized my own family growing up, and still guides how I want to interact with my kids as they grow. (For those with small children, I'd highly recommend Don't Make Me Count to Three! by Ginger Plowman, which is a user-friendly version of Shepherding for preschoolers...and don't worry, it has nothing to do with counting to three.)

Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, The- Henci Goer-- if you are pregnant, go get this book now. Seriously. Click the link & order it off Amazon ASAP. Preferably along with Nina Planck's book. If you're not pregnant and don't plan to be, this still should be in your Top 10, because it teaches non-medical folks (like us) how to discern what is routinely done and what is beneficial & safe. Is an induction at 40 weeks medically sound? What about the expected epidural? Is VBAC safer than repeat C-sections? Is pitocin worth its risks? This book doesn't answer the questions for you; it presents research and lets you make your own decisions, which is EXACTLY how you want to be in the habit of evaluating every medical recommendation you come across, from sticking rice in your baby's milk for reflux, to vaccinating starting at birth, to choosing to breast or bottle feed, to smearing preventative antibiotics on your newborn's eyes, to switching your 2-year-old to low-fat milk.

Well-Trained Mind, The: A Guide to Classical Education at Home- Susan Wise Bauer & Jessie Wise -- best book on education I've read. Even if you are intentionally choosing public school or private schooling for your child(ren), you can use this book to ensure that their minds are getting full doses of what they need to thrive.

A few runners-up...

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth- Ina May Gaskin- excellent if you are pregnant or planning to be (or on helping someone in labor). Not quite as applicable to adoptive parents.

The Vaccine Guide: Risks and Benefits for Children and Adults Randall Neudstaedter-- the best look at vaccines of the many I've read; I love the book's layout: it takes each vaccine on its own, addresses its risks, its benefits, gives two or three suggested routes (such as 1. do the vaccine at this age, 2. don't do the vaccine but supplement with this or 3. do the vaccine, with this brand), and then has pages of references. Even if you know you want to "do whatever the doctor says," read this. If you are traveling and need shots, read this. I love that this book lets you take it one shot at a time.

Child Training Tips; what I wish I'd known when my children were young- Reb Bradley-- my favorite sections are those on "How to tell when correction has been effective" and "Signs of passive rebellion." Again, really helpful to those of us with preschoolers/toddlers. Well-rounded, with plenty of emphasis on the need positively teach and not just correct.

The Myth of Adolescence: Raising Responsible Children in an Irresponsible Society- David Black-- great in evaluating what the Bible says about "teenagers."

Celebrations of Faith- Randy & Lisa Wilson-- this little book is extremely helpful at being intentionally God-honoring in all our parenting, with a special emphasis on holiday & other traditions. Great perspective even if you don't use a single one of their recommendations.

Don't Make Me Count to Three!- Ginger Plowman-- as stated above, this is my favorite for parents with young children. If you are intimidated by Shepherding Your Child's Heart or are struggling to know how to apply it, pick this one up. It's a short read (or re-read), and so so applicable.

What books would you have added? Ryan's recommendation was "Don't Overthink Parenting" by Don't Read This Book, hah.

Weaning Tales

I feel like I can finally write this, several months down the road.

After 5 difficult months of pretty much dancing on my head to get Eowyn to nurse, I had the joy of nursing her easily for 16 months.  I am so thankful.  I got to fulfill all my motherly dreams-- nursing my baby (right after birth, no less!), nursing through 21 months, and getting to have a nice break between nursing and whenever we have # 2.  (Sick as I was with E, I want a nice cushion of rebuilding reserves!!)

So... weaning?  How did it go?  It was pretty much painless.  We never associated nursing with sleeping, though I did nurse her right before bed, so there wasn't that to overcome.  She was used to nursing right after waking up, which made it pretty simple to offer a snack instead.  I started the process when she was totally healthy and we weren't traveling or going through any major transitions.  It was also quite warm outside (April) when we started, and by the time we finished (June) it was downright hot.  It seemed to make "cold milk" (raw organic cow's milk) more attractive and snuggling less so. At 19 months, she was nursing 7 times a day-- three meals (mostly solid food, bm was just to complete it), plus a mid-afternoon snack, bedtime snack (loved those), first-thing-in-the-morning (love how it got me 2 extra hours of sleep!!), and dream feed just before I went to bed myself.  I dropped one feeding per week, starting with her dream feed. I was afraid she'd start waking up hungry but she did absolutely fine, actually seeming to sleep longer stretches BETTER... rookie mistake.  I definitely won't make that again-- dream feed will be bye-bye MUCH sooner!!

Next to go was her post-nap afternoon snack, and then breakfast, dinner, lunch, before bedtime and finally the first-morning-nurse. I replaced them with whole food snacks (except for the dream feed & before bed, those I just dropped totally). I dropped them the way I did to try and keep the demand as even throughout the day as possible, so I wouldn't be engorged all morning and dry all evening, or vice versa. Eowyn never insisted on milk since I started, so it wasn't traumatic or anything. I'd try and prevent her asking by offering a snack or meal before she asked, and when she did ask, I'd say "not now" and offer something else.

Last to go was the first-morning-nurse, which I kept going for 3 weeks, and didn't feel like I had much milk left at all.  I kept expecting my supply to totally go, but it seemed to be holding fine, and the little cold she'd gotten went away, so I finally just had to cut it.  One morning (June 7th to be exact =D) I just got her milk from downstairs when she woke up wanting milk, and she took it great.  But I wanted to remember my last time nursing her, as opposed to the half-conscious state of my early-morning nursings. (vague memories most mornings) so I ended up taking a few more days of either nursing her first thing in the morning, or offering "cold milk" and then nursing her later in the day.  I reasoned that this got my body used to making milk even less frequently.  Also, it's bittersweet to let such a precious thing go.  We'd come so far in our nursing relationship, from new and amazing to hard and frustrating to the norm and easy... yet I've always treasured this privelege.

Post-weaning reunion after 9 days apart
(Ryan & I went sailing in the BVI)

The last day I nursed her, we had been out and she'd fallen asleep in the carseat (or stroller?  I can't believe I've already forgotten!).  I carried her up to her bed, but I knew that she would wake up as soon as I put her down, despite desperately needing more sleep.  So, I sat down by her bed, and nursed her one last time, savoring every minute of it.  I will always remember the soft afternoon light filtering just so through her red polka-dot curtains, her warm trusting body nestled into mine, her sweet sleepy breathing, her still-fuzzy-head.  I laid her in bed happily milk-drunk, and she finished up her nap in peace.  I closed the door behind me, so glad that (Lord willing!) this would not be my last time nursing a baby,... because I knew I really would miss it.  I also felt very freed-- strange to feel both at once.

Since then, she didn't ask to nurse until she saw some other moms nursing younger babies. Once she even specified "I want mama's milk."  But she happily accepts it when I tell her that it's "all gone!" and that she can have "cold milk" or a snack if she wants it.  It was painless, happy, and non-scarring all around.  She still nurses her baby dolls (and a friend's baby in one hilarious instance) and knows that when little babies cry, sometimes they "need milk."

I don't know if it's related to the weaning, but she did go through a SUPER OUT OF THIS WORLD clingy phase around weaning time (I think it started before actually). Several friends have said that their kids did the same thing around 18/20 months, others say that big developmental milestones (like potty training) sometimes cause that sort of behavior.  She did have a lot going on-- potty training, weaning, Daddy traveling... But we have gotten through that too.

Anyway, hope this helps someone... and even if it doesn't, it's so good for me to have a record so my forgetful mommy-brain doesn't forget it all!

How To Survive-Even Thrive- In a Growing (or Large) Church

Bear with me as I walk down my church-history lane... For all but 3 years of my life until I was 20, I attended the same church, where I was baptized, became a member, worked as an intern twice, and finally celebrated my wedding.  The church has always numbered about 350 people-- for the first half of my time there it was the same 350 folks; friends I'd grown up with, older kids I respected, younger kids I mentored; lots of people to look out for me.  Then people started leaving (both due to seasons of life and Southern Bible-Belt-itis), and we always had new people joining, so while the number of members stayed fairly constant, the faces changed.

Those three years that I was in France, my family attended a small (maybe 12 adults on a Sunday?) French-speaking Baptist church in a small town near ours.  The only other child my age became my best friend, and her mom, Annie, was our Sunday School teacher.  When my sisters & I showed up, the children's class quadrupled in size... though we did have some older kids and then another family with younger children joined fairly soon thereafter.  It was wonderful in some ways-- very close fellowship, the entire church over to one family's house (often ours), and no question of where we fit in.  We often joined up with a larger Baptist church in the nearby city to do Christmas or Easter events or to head to summer camp.

For the past 5 years, I've been at Immanuel in Louisville.  When I joined it was a bit smaller than the church I'd grown up attending, but the fellowship and the united vision of reaching the neighborhood for Jesus was incredibly refreshing to my rumpled spirit (I'd just gone through the most painful trials of my life).  There were (are) plenty of folks of my own age/station, the preaching is good, the music rocks, and there's never a shortage of ways to pitch in.  However, as the church has grown and people have moved on (mostly to do ministry elsewhere --this IS a college/seminary city), I've had stretches of intense loneliness among the crowd.  Our closest friends moved away or got too busy for us, the vision for reaching the neighborhood morphed into reaching the city, and the closeness of the small fellowship we'd joined was diluted by 2 services and many new members.  I distinctly remember sitting in my chair after one service, and looking around thinking "And I don't care about you, I don't care about you, and nope, don't care about you, either."  Pretty depressing.

So... how have I gone about making a big church seem less big?

Well, a big part of it is prayer.  Prayer for a willing, caring spirit.  When I looked around not caring, I knew it wasn't with eyes of faith-- it was with human eyes that didn't want to know the pain of separation or failure again.  When Jesus looked around, He saw needs and moved to meet them.  He didn't look for everyone to meet His needs.  So I had to pray that the Lord would give me eyes to See, and a heart to love, drawing on His Endless Love.  I had to repent of not caring, and asking Him to make me start caring.

Another huge piece has been THE overarching lesson of this stage of my life:  contentment.  A holy 'so what?' attitude.  "Keep your lives free from love of money, and be content with what you have." (how?) "For He has said:  I will never leave you, nor forsake you."  Contentment -that is, a deep inner joy & peace- doesn't come from having all your wants met, from your marriage bringing you endless romance, from your children sleeping through the night, from having all your best friends living nearby, from having the amount of children that you want, when you want them... no, it comes from being with Him.  That is to say, anywhere. The essence of Heaven will be His presence without any barriers, right?  And by His spirit, we have a taste of that now, through Immanuel, God with us.  His Spirit lives in us, teaching us, reminding us.  So long as He is with us (and, as above verse states... that's all the time for the believer), we have every reason to be happy.  "Think what Spirit dwells within thee, what a Father's smile is thine, what a Savior died to win thee!!-- Child of heaven, cans't thou repine?"  i.e.  "With God being as good as you have Him, do you have any room for pouting??" 

On the practical front, I've found two things helpful.  One, don't feel guilty making a few close friends (and/or maintaining close friendships that aren't local anymore).  As a wise SS teacher of mine once put it, "you can't be best friends with everybody."  So don't feel bad calling the same friend over and over, because you "click" so well.  Be intentional about those close friendships, though-- don't let them just be about common interests or kids of the same age-- bring up the Gospel.  Bring up Jesus and how you are dealing with Him.

Balanced with that, I've found it helpful to be as wide-spread in my fellowship as possible.  Our church really emphasizes small groups, and while that has its merits, it isn't the whole church.  If there's a baby shower or wedding shower and I know the person, I try to go.  If it's a real friend of mine, I'll try to send a gift & card if I can't make it. If there's any church function of any kind, I try to go.  No, I don't make it a law and feel guilty for not going, but if I can make it, I will.  If someone needs a meal, I sign up when I can.  If the nursery needs a sub, I do it.  If I find out a friend needs help, I volunteer.  Seriously-- I do NOT feel guilty not doing stuff when it would be too much, when Eowyn is sick or we are flying in the day before from London or we are just too tired.  But how hard is it, really, to head over to someone's house for 2 hours with a small gift in tow?  I get to talk to people, make new friends, occasionally play awesome games, and deepen acquaintances into friendships.  I usually leave encouraged.  (Ryan either watches Eowyn, or my next door neighbor comes over while she's asleep if it's in the evening, or if I get permission from the hosts, I bring her with me)  I've been amazed at how much this simple policy of staying involved has helped me.  You really start to care about the people you make cards or meals for, or those you work alongside (VBS, anyone!?).

My last help has been to seek and welcome laughter in all its forms.  If you're determined to hate something, you probably will... If you want to have fun, yep, you probably will do that, too.




How have you found or deepened fellowship in your own communities of faith?

Last Bits of New York

I've posted several more "artsty" pics (as in... non-child-containing) over at Capturing the Essence, as well as two video clips from our time in The Big Apple. Enjoy!

Adventures in Brooklyn

About to enter the River Cafe (no idea how hoity-toity it would be)

Eowyn was not bothered by the high standards in the least

My scallops (which Eowyn shared with me)

Eowyn's potato & goat cheese terrine, accompanied by marinated golden beets (YUM!)

Just reminded me of our old car =D  I didn't get a picture of Ryan's amazing tuna tartare, our favorite

Her first tire swing, in Prospect Park

Two birds that entertained us on our walk home

Bubble Tea!! How I've missed that! :)

Rockin' the Water Play Table in the Brooklyn Children's Museum (she did have a little trouble keeping the water IN the table)

The Sand Table was another huge hit!

Experiencing a Child-Sized Spider Web at the Prospect Zoo
(with cousin Ian, one of Eowyn's favorite new 'Amigos')

Enjoying a turtle shell

The featured event of the sea lion training session

Carousel Ride in Prospect Park

Super cool carousel

Being silly with Ian (of course she was terrified the whole time, then as soon as it stopped asked 'I do dat again?!')

Ian beasting it out helping all the moms bring down their strollers at the Subway stop with a broken elevator

Sensory Box Fun?

This is from a super-craftsy mom's blog that I keep in my reader for ideas.  This post is on sensory boxes, which sound to me like imagination vitamins!  Most of you know that I am not one to be frilly or go out of the way to do something if it doesn't serve a purpose (even if that purpose is to "be asthetically pleasing" or "to provide a learning activity"), but I'm leaning more towards doing some cooler things with Eowyn now that she's older.  Up to this point, my MO has been to give her simple toys (or natural items) and let her play.  She gets "water play" in her weekly bath, or at the splash park, or in basins in the back yard while I garden.  She has a well-stocked play kitchen and plenty of play baby dolls & accessories.  We take walks and she is encouraged to pick up leaves and grass and rocks and get as dirty as she wants-- we can always wash hands later, right?  All of those were simple, imagination-fostering... and no effort for me. :)

But ...after seeing just how fascinated she was with the water table and sand table at the Brooklyn Children's Museum yesterday, I'm considering going a little out of my way and creating a SIMPLE sensory box she can play with at home... something I could pull out during dinner-prep and let her enjoy in the kitchen (where any spills are easily swept up), perhaps?  Hmmm...

Have any of you done any sort of tactile/sensory boxes?

Adventures in Manhattan

Enjoying FAO Schwartz

Ryan is a speaker again at Do It With Drupal, which is being held in New York City this year.  Many of you know that I have an aunt (with associated uncle & cousins) who live in Brooklyn, NY... put the two together, and we had a perfect situation for a week-long trip to The Big Apple.  While both Ryan & I had been before, we had not been as adults, nor since being married, and since Eowyn needed to complete her fashion-tour of Paris, London & New York City, we HAD to come.

Ryan's conference is Wednesday-Friday, with a speaker's dinner on Tuesday that we both get to go to (yay for family babysitting!).  We flew up on Saturday and have spent several days taking in the city and visiting with family together.  Another Ruiz aunt & her family will fly in Wednesday night & we'll get to enjoy them too before leaving Saturday.  I plan to take Eowyn to several fun places around Brooklyn while "Daddy" is working Wed-Fri morning.

Hmmm.... Do we buy this or send Eowyn to college?

On the Staten Island Ferry

Approaching Manhattan

Watching all the pretty lights!

Sunday morning we worshiped at a SGM church called, simply, City Church, literally 2 blocks from my aunt's house in Park Slope (love that 9 Marks Network Website!).  It was great to get to sing and be refreshed from the word in the middle of the stress of travel!  Eowyn even did great in the nursery. :)

Sunday afternoon my aunt graciously showed us around Manhattan (my uncle feeling ill with what turned out to be walking pneumonia), letting us pop into FAO Schwartz, a Godiva shop (got some truffles YUM), several gorgeous churches, and leading us down Wall Street to the Stock Exchange & Times Square, and a bit of Central Park.  Ryan & I even caught the (gorgeous!!) grand finale of an organ recital in St Patrick's Cathedral.  I have a soft spot for the organ played well... especially in a cathedral!  Definitely can't wait to meet Bach in Heaven.

Monday morning Ryan, the little E & I walked around Brooklyn (more on that later) and then took the Staten Island ferry past Lady Liberty and back.  I liked that we got to do so much walking around, just trying to get a feel on this city's pulse, its rhythm.  Not an old steady rhythm like the cobblestoned majesty of Paris nor the inescapable press of history & passing time like London-- but an intense swirling busyness full of many languages and the best of hundreds of cultures.  We heard more languages in New York City than anywhere else. 



As always, we saw and heard one thing we would never have expected- a woman playing the musical saw!!  Eowyn was quite enthralled, as you can see in the clip below.

Vaccination Summary

Because I still frequently receive emails or Facebook messages regarding vaccinations, I thought I'd post a summary (full of links) on how I go about sifting through all the vaccine information and mis-information out there:

First off, I am SO, so glad you're thinking through all of this-- so many folks don't even, well, THINK of that! :)  Considering how much time most of us put into researching the homes we buy, the cars we drive, and the places we vacation, it makes sense that we should research something that could affect our children for their entire lives!

I've done a series of blog posts that might be a good starting point for you:
1. Overview- http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2011/02/the-thoughtful-parents-guide-to-thinking-through-vaccinations.html
2. 10 Questions to Ask- http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2011/03/the-thoughtful-parents-guide-to-thinking-through-vaccinations-10-questions-to-ask.html
3. Resources both Pro & Con- http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2011/03/the-thoughtful-parents-guide-to-thinking-through-vaccinations-pro-vaccine-and-cautionary-resources.html

Here is our own family's schedule (which I am often re-thinking & editing): http://eowyns-heir.blogspot.com/2010/11/vaccine-schedule-long-awaited.html 

There are more of my own posts about vaccines if you want to read them: http://eowyns-heir.blogspot.com/search/label/Vaccines

We are super selective & slow about vaccines, aiming to build a good foundation with breast-feeding, lots of whole foods (including plenty of fermented/cultured foods/drinks & healthy fats like fish oil and organic butter), and an exposure to plenty of environmental factors like animals, dirt & grass. We employ regular hand-washing & use natural hand-sanitizer when out & about to minimize coughs & colds, but I'm not a germophobe by any definition.  I'm also prepared to use as many natural resources to fight disease naturally if my children do contract potentially serious diseases (but usually temporary and straightforward in healthy kids) like chicken pox, polio, or measles-- like supplementing with vitamins, employing essential oils, boosting their immune system with herbs, and using drug-free pain management techniques like warm compresses, etc. I know it won't be fun if & when my daughter gets the mumps, but I know it's a part of parenting the Lord will give me the strength to persevere through!!

Once Upon a Potty (and Last Cloth Diaper Review)

Trying out our new potty! (During our marathon at 18 mos)

We've been holding Eowyn over the toilet, naming "poop" and "pee," and making "ssss" and grunting sounds for their respective actions for months now-- since she was very small.  For quite a while she would do either in the potty when prompted-- probably from around 8 months or so on until 13 or so months.  At that point she burped/spit up while trying to poop and this scared her, and she regressed a lot.  We've done cloth diapers since she was about 6 weeks old, meaning she's felt it when she wet or pooped, and she's never liked to be dirty-- it always wakes her up from her nap.

Talking with the wealth of other moms I know it seemed like those who started potty training earlier (15-18 months) might have had to work a little longer with their children, but didn't face the battle of wills or fears & tears that my friends who waited until their children were 2 & up had to contend with.  My overall impression is that if you don't train before age 2, you end up almost having to wait until age 3, when it's something the child wants.  Why? Well, for one, they call it the "terrible twos" for a reason-- kids are asserting their wills all over the place!  But also, because kids are absolutely wired to learn at this stage, and are aware of just about everything (which is why they can get us into trouble repeating what we said one time when we thought they weren't listening); so if this self-aware little one gets in the habit of feeling the need to poop/pee, doing it in their diaper, and then being changed later, they learn that that is what you are supposed to do, and most find it a great system all around!  In their minds-- why change it?

So, around 15 months I started trying to fully ditch the diapers.  We got a few little training panties from a friend, picked up a child-sized toilet seat for our toilet, ordered pull-on nylon diaper covers (Dappi 2 pack for $5 or Bummis single for $5-- both work great, and I use them as covers over fitted diapers too), and gave taking her every 15 minutes a go.  She wasn't very interested, and I didn't really give it long enough, looking back.  I backed after a day or so of trying, though I did keep putting her on the potty and rewarding any successes.

Eowyn at 17 mos

Three months later, I read up on potty training in a marathon three-day event (read about it here and here-- I love how they emphasize the treating it as a normal event, just something we all do), and committed to going through with it.  I stocked up on raisins (our potty-training treat), as well as juice which is a treat in our house.  We stayed upstairs as much as possible where the floors are hardwood and it stays warmer so she could run around pretty much naked (except for a shirt).  I set a timer to take her every 15 minutes, and if she was clean & dry when it went off, she got a raisin.  When she sat on the potty, she got a raisin.  When she peed, a raisin.  Poop earned her 2 raisins.  She kind of seemed to get it, but was resisting going when I put her on the potty, often waiting until after she got off to go... all over the floor.  I'd say "oh, no! a mess!  this is not where pee-pee goes!" have her help me clean it up, and we'd talk about where put pee, and on we'd go.  I tried very hard not to get visibly frustrated with her or angry, and give lots of hugs and kisses-- but I know I did get frustrated more than once, especially if we had just spent 10 minutes on the potty with no show.  (I don't know if I buy the whole "making sure you tell them it's ok to have accidents" at this stage.  It's NOT ok for them to have accidents, isn't that the point?  I understand with an older child or one who is in the habit of using the potty-- ask the parents of the kids in my preK classes, I have never, ever embarrassed a child --and of course I don't want to make potty-training traumatic, but I do want my child to understand that peeing all over the floor is not acceptable.  I know, I'm very politically incorrect here, and feel free to pitch in your 2 cents.... =D)  However, by the end of the day she was still having mostly accidents, and I was so discouraged.  Ryan came over and was like "come on, woman!  It's been ONE day, and she's not even two!!! Don't you think you can cut yourselves a little slack?"  True, very true, my man.

I had an idea of getting a little potty that Eowyn could get onto & off of herself, so I found one on Craigslist for $4.  We drove to get it the next morning, found a use for it in the parking lot before we even left, and Eowyn was so excited that she didn't want to get off!  This little froggy potty marked the turning point for us.  I backed off taking her by the timer, and instead let her get on and off whenever she wanted to, rewarding her each time.  Clad only in a t-shirt, this little monkey seemed to relish getting onto her very own potty, sitting a while, and getting up... over and over and over.  I started to wonder if she'd EVER get off the thing!  :)  By day 3 she was very nearly a pro, enough that we went over to a friend's for a play date.  While there I did set a timer to take her, and she kept on not going...after half an hour I was sure she was about to burst, when my friend pulled out a little potty seat.  We put that on the potty, and Eowyn unloaded.  This actually really encouraged me, because it proved that she absolutely could hold it when she wanted to. 

Early on, we practiced using the big potty without a child seat, so that she could use them anywhere (incidentally, I've found it's best to kind of put them on side-ways).  Call me European or hippy, but we also are quite adept at making use of bushes and trees for emergencies.  When they are this young, you often don't get much time between "Pee-pee, Mama" and "it's running down the stroller."  More than once I've pulled over at the nearest grassy spot!  This has actually helped a lot, and we have had several folks ask us how we trained her to do this, because their children absolutely can not go anywhere except a flush toilet, even if they are camping.  Just throwing that out there. :)

She's serious about this.

Now, Eowyn's second birthday is just around the corner, and accidents are very, very rare.  Rewards were first dropped for sitting on the potty, then staying clean & dry, but we kept rewarding for poop/pee for several months to avoid regression/deal with setbacks.  She tells me when she needs to go and I take her.  If I'm feeling particularly lazy, I'll strip her from the waist down again and set her little potty out so she can take herself, calling me to come wipe as needed.  For church or babysitting I use the thicker training pants along with a pull-on cover "just in case."  I like this because it still feels like underwear and not like a diaper.  Over naps & night-time she is in diapers, though she often wakes up dry, and/or wakes herself up in the night asking to be taken to the potty.  I'm trying to decide how & when to transition or incorporate the following:  a big-girl bed, waking her up when I go to bed to go potty, nap-time undies, and night-time undies.  I will say I'm in no particular hurry for any of these.  We have a wet or soiled diaper about once every 2 days, so it's not adding much to my laundry, that's for sure!

Quick note on which diapers we still use the most:  our Ecobaby Organic Fitted diapers are workhorses, because they have elastic in the back enabling them to be pulled on & off like a training pant, with the thickness of a diaper.  I usually put this on without the snap-in doubler, covered with a Dappi nylon pant or a wool bum sweater overnight.  I am SO glad I scored a half-dozen of those off Craigslist for $6.50 a piece!!  I also still ocasionally use infant size prefolds (yes, back to infant sized now that she doesn't need as much absorbancy) trifolded into a snap-closed one-size cover like Kawaii baby or Rumparooz, or our Kawaii snap-closed one-size pocket diapers.

My advice to parents wanting to potty train?  Start young, stick it out for a full 3 days, go nearly-naked (your child, not you =D) and buy a little potty.  Also, JUST SAY NO to pull-ups!!  They are a marketing ploy!!  If your child has to stay in diapers over night, invest in cloth "pull-ups" or pocket diapers, or just keep buying the disposables they were wearing before. 

Quick-quicks, slows & stops... i.e. An Intro to Rhythm

Beat & Rhythm are NOT the same.  This video helps show the difference using spoken poetry:  the beat is the jumps, the words are the rhythm.  (You could try this same activity at home, though for little kids, just have fun keeping the beat & varying the volume.  For older kids, try to figure out some (or all) of the rhythms-- they aren't straight-forward!)

So far I've listed several games for reinforcing the idea of steady beat, but haven't touched rhythm yet.  Beat & pitch are the two main objectives you should always be reinforcing with your little ones, right down to gently patting the steady beat of hymns in church or stomping to the beat of a radio tune (then ask whether it was 'fast'-allegro or 'slow'-adagio or medium- andante. See a full list of musical terms for speed- tempo- here).  However even young kids can enjoy exploring basic rhythms.  Use this process to teach quarter notes, eighth notes & quarter rests.  Go at the pace of your children-- introduce the idea, enjoy it, and leave it.  You could spend a week or a day or 10 minutes or a month on each step:

1. introduce the idea of stops (hands held out, palms up, in an "I don't know" kind of position), slows (a clap- keep your hands clapped together for a few seconds) and quick-quicks (claps twice as fast as 'slows')
2. have your children echo 3-beat patterns, such as "stop, slow, stop" or "slow, quick-quick, quick-quick"
3. label your 3-beat pattern a "rhythm."  Use the terms rhythm & pattern together often in describing what you are doing.
4. allow your children to take turns clapping a 3-beat rhythm with you echoing them.  You can have them speak a rhythm without clapping first, then show them how to clap it and have them clap it with you if they have trouble speaking & clapping simultaneously.
5. explain to children that slows, stops & quick-quicks can be written down, either with
- green rectangles, yellow squares & red squares
- joined eighth notes, quarter notes & quarter rests
- combo of two
6. Set out a 3-beat pattern (literally lay out the rectangles/quarter notes), perform & have them echo.  Let them compose, perform & echo. 
7. Introduce the idea of a measure by making a measure sheet that has 3 (or 4) empty boxes into which the quick-quick, slows & stops can fit, with a modified time signature (top number- # of empty boxes, bottom either a drawn quarter note or a yellow box) and measure bar.
8. Repeat process with 4 beat patterns.
9. Down the road, create sheets with 2 measures (each containing either 3 or 4 boxes & modified time signature as above) introducing the idea of an end bar.

**Can experiment with adding in words or pitches (could add in 'sol' 'la' and 'mi') for older children.

Keep a Steady Beat

video of 'That's a Mighty Pretty Motion'

Instrument bag "Orchestra Game"- keep a beat to music

Matching the Conductor's Beat-- tapping legs along with the teacher, as she speeds up & slows down (saying the tempo name for older kids & slow/fast for younger ones)

The Beauty of Solfege

How do keys and solfege relate?  Do is whichever note is the tonic of that key; in C major, C=do, D= re, E= mi, G= so, etc.  In A major, A=do, B=re, C#=mi, etc.  So if you have access to a piano or xylophone or any instrument, pick a key and get your do from that.  I often use C major just because it's easy (no sharps or flats), but try to move it around so your kids are learning the distance between pitches themselves, not just learning them in one key (if you want to do that, may as well learn the note names "A" "B" "C#" etc.).

Here are several children's songs that can be sung using the following pitches:

- so, mi- "Tell me Your Name," "Tick Tock/Cuckoo"
- so, mi, la- first part of "Rain Rain Go Away," "One Two, Tie My Sho"
- so, mi, la, do- first part of "Michael Row the Boat Ashore"
- so, mi, la, do, re- "Keep Inchin Along (score here: http://www.pentatonika.net/sacred_zipper.html), "Baa Baa Black Sheep," "Let Us Chase the Squirrel" (game, more ideas), "Who's That Knocking At My Window?"
- so, mi, la, do, re, low so- "That's a Mighty Pretty Motion" (Dee Di Dee)
- so, mi, la, do, re, low so, fa- "Twinkle Twinkle,"  "Michael Row The Boat Ashore," "Allouette"
- so, mi, la, do, re, low so, fa, high do-  "Row Row Row your Boat"
- so, mi, la, do, re, low so, fa, high do, ti-  "Old MacDonald"

So, why would we ever want to start with solfege? Because you are well on the way to an extremely usable musicality once you have an internal memory of how "far away" two pitches are from one another, and how they relate within a scale.  Once you start practicing pitches in harmony (your sister sings do while you sing mi, or you sing so while Mom plays a do on the piano) you begin to internalize that do-mi-so make up a beautiful triad, that do-fa makes you think of an 'Amen,' and that hearing ti makes you very badly want to go up to do, especially when you hear ti & re together.  Add to that an ability to see the pitches and their "distances" from one another on paper, and you'll be a huge help to any choir or instrumental group you ever join!!  You'll also be able to sing a tune on sight once you know its solfege syllables, and transposing (as is often done in guitar) will be a snap.  I love the way the choral director of the Shenandoah Valley Children's Choir put it here.

A scale is like a musical ladder with uneven rungs, not even ones! Scales are made up of whole steps and half steps. (e.g. the intervals, mi to fa and ti to do are half steps. The other steps in the scale are whole steps.) The Curwen/Kodály handsigns are designed to emphasize where the whole and half steps fall. When singers learn solfege and handsigns, their ears learn where the whole steps and half steps are in the music, and it helps them to sing much better in tune!

In several settings I was required to first learn all songs in solfege; this makes learning the pitches & rhythms easier (the "notes") without the added burden of learning the correct words (especially when the words were in another language!).  My directors would at times make us bring out all sorts of emotion with nothing but solfege syllables, just to teach us how to convey emotion through our tones and facial expressions, not relying on the words.  I would strongly encourage you parents to take some of your children's favorite songs and learn them in solfege (you can use this website here-a cool resource that puts many familiar songs into solfege).  In teaching new songs, you may want to learn/teach the solfege first, then the words.  Start this young enough with your kids, and they just absorb the pitches and assume that's just how everyone learns new songs.  I love that Eowyn already tries to do the pitches & hand signs (she isn't 2 yet).

Here's a song that reinforces all the solfege hand signs-- you might need it for yourself more than for your children, since they will likely internalize them as they learn them!



The hand signs are great used in an echo game with little ones (you sing 3 or 4 pitches with accompanying gestures, and the children echo them-- you can specify whether you want them to use the gestures or just sing).  In every musical situation (choir, class, playing with your toddler), beginning with the "so-so-so, so-la-so, so-mi-mi, mi-re-do" sequence centers & anchors pitch memory, "wakes up" the voice, and warming up with songs purely of solfege syllables is often really good for establishing internal pitch.  Here's the familiar one from The Sound of Music:


(the solfege part starts around 2:15)

More videos: a really interesting solfege piece in the minor 'aolian' mode at the beginning of this video, an example of what a 5th grade choir can do, one music teacher's composition here (called 'New Year Carol'), and my favorite, the Tallis Cannon.

Why So Many Echoes?

As you've no doubt gathered from my vlogs & suggestions, I view "The Echo game" as a great way to introduce many musical concepts.  This game is very simple:  seat the children around you, and instruct them to watch & listen first (very important!), then do what you did.  So many concepts can be introduced this way:  3-pitch patterns, phrases of songs (solfege syllables or words), clapped/tapped rhythms, beats of varying tempo (slow, quick, etc.)...

You could incorporate music into your morning circle time or afternoon post-nap activity.   Start with familiar games & songs (like "Such a Makin' a Circle" or "Tell Me Your Name"), do some pitch echoing with familiar pitches, then add in a new one.  Practice 3-pitch patterns with the new pitch(es).  Reinforce it with a new song.  Then you can move to echoing rhythmic patterns, or to another musical activity.  Close with singing the new song or clapping a new phrase together, you with the children, proving to them that they can remember and use the new skills relying on their own memory.

Why, though?  If you think back to how children learn naturally, you'll understand why; they are natural sponges, learning by copying-- by echoing, by imitating.  Far too often we make the mistake of starting off musical education with labels and symbols-- but who learned to talk by reading?  No, kids learn best by hearing & watching, then copying, practicing, and later on, down the road, being told what they are doing (being given a label), then being shown the symbol, and finally using the symbol themselves.  Think of learning to speak:  for months a baby watches & listens as his parents make all sorts of noises.  He soon tries to copy the sounds, without knowing their meanings. Next he learns what words go with what (labeling).  A few years later, he learns that words can be written down using letters.  Yet another year or so later, he learns to make the symbols himself and is on his way to writing.  Watching/hearing, imitating, labeling, symbolizing, replicating.  Imitating this process with musical learning is the most natural, meaning the least frustrating for everyone involved!!  "The Echo Game" allows children to focus on imitation first, then they are given a label & a context, all in a safe setting.

A Crash Course on Teaching Pitch

This little movie aims to be a crash course on the background of the "syllabic relative pitch system (solfege)" developed by Zoltán Kodály & the hand signs (developed by John Curwen) used to represent them, as well as a game used to build pitch-matching skills. While the game would probably only interest younger children, the hand signs are extremely helpful for every age, both for their visual/kinetic aspects and their usability in choral settings. A follow-up video will outline the introduction of all 7 pitches.

Such a Makin' a Circle

At the request of a newly-homeschooling mom, I'm uploading (finally!) some videos of musical games & tips.  These would be appropriate for preschool-1st grade (some even 2nd).  I have been so pleased (and a bit surprised!) to see Eowyn (not yet 2) already mimicking and trying many of these on her own!  I taught a small class for some friends over the summer, and Eowyn was in my lap or on my hip for most of them, and she definitely absorbed a lot of it!

Sorry for the Dr. Jekell-Mr. Hyde look on this one, with half my face in shadow.  It's the end of a long day.



More to come... I wouldn't want to leave out solfege, "stop-slow-quick-quick" or "That's a Mighty Pretty Motion," now would I?

Wool Dryer Balls?

Tell me if these do not look cool! 

Anyone have any experience with them?  I'd love to buy 2-3, but would love some input first.

Montessori Toddler Treasure Bag

A few months ago, a blog I like to read (Frugal Granola) linked up to a site detailing how to put together a "Treasure Basket" for your baby/toddler.  Around the same time, I retrieved a box full of childhood memorabilia from my parents' attic.  What in the world was I going to do with little momentoes from around the world-- stuff I'd bought on family trips or received from a voyaging family member?  Much of it was way too cool to throw away:  the leather dragon I'd bought at a European castle, bright cloth bags from Guatemala, a leather coin purse from Canada, a metal horse from my horse collection, little Easter eggs on strings, a geode, a wooden kaleidescope...  After reading the article on a Toddler Treasure Basket, the two came together.  I think Montessori as an education philosophy has serious flaws, but I do love their emphasis on discovery and "sensorial exploration."  So I culled through my knickknacks and selected those made of natural materials (wood, leather, stone, metal, cloth, ceramic, yarn) and/or with interesting textures and/or designs.  I tried to include lots of container-type toys-- boxes, bags-- so she could practice putting things in and out.  You can see many of the objects above.  I put them in a giant zip-up bag from 31, and voila!  Cheapest toy I've ever made. 

I put this together some time in March, and it is now September ...so that's 7 months of play it's given (and still is giving) us.  I add to the bag from time to time, and don't leave it out as a constantly-available toy, which I'm sure has extended its appeal.  So far the bag has proved invaluable on car trips, in restaurants, and anytime we have to wait in one place for an extended period of time.  At first I usually gave her only one object at a time (especially in a restaurant), but now that she is older I often give her the whole bag and she loves taking objects out and making them interact together.  She often comments on whether the toys are cold or hot, soft or rough, etc., and she LOVES making the horses "gallop."  Definitely my daughter.

So go on-- those random things you didn't know what to do with?  They just might be a great part of your child's Treasure Bag. :)