Paris Pics-- Family Fun

We made it! (We're in front of our friends' apartment on Ave. Georges Mandel, which is a great location!)

Eowyn appreciated all of Leon & Tessa's books!!

Family favorite:  Berthillon Ice Cream in front of Notre Dame!

A universal urge of childhood:  chasing pigeons

In front of Notre Dame de Paris

We met up with my childhood best French friend Fanny, whom I hadn't seen in 15 years... why we didn't get an actual picture together is totally beyond me; inexcusable Mommy-brain?

Summer Reading...

"Well, he said, I'm back."
~Sam Gamgee to his wife, Rosie.  Last line of The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien.

Our family has had quite a few adventures this July, from VBS to family visits to the British Virgin Islands, and back.  We have a garden growing (and partially threatened by pests of various types & sizes... I just came in from spreading diatomaceous earth with a vengeance!  We have lost so many of our gourds --squash, pumpkin, cucumber-- almost all of our potatoes, cauliflower & brocolli, all of our peas, and now some of our tomatoes are starting to pine.  Sigh.), a toddler learning, a marriage deepening, and about twenty-odd books between the two of us a-reading.  Since it would take too much time (and pictures, which I don't have ready yet) to try and catch up with our travels, gardens, and the brewing thoughts of my mind, I'll try to re-enter blog-world gently with a book list... I love books.  I love lists.  And I have about 20 minutes of nap-time left. :)


Finished:
- The Help, Kathryn Stockett- my sister lent me this for the plane home and I liked it quite a bit.  A book about a book (always fun), in this case a tell-all of Black Southern maids about what life is like for them in the earliest parts of the Civil Rights movements (1960s).  As a White Southerner who has been blessed to grow up free from a lot of racial prejudice, this book was helpful in understanding why the racial lines are drawn so deeply in many parts of the South.  It also makes me think about the political events in another light; the laws in the South at the time actually made the treating of Black Americans as equals illegal.  I think we forget that sometimes.  But it's there in the Jim Crow laws; not allowed to have the same toilets, not allowed to marry, not allowed to be served at the same grocery stores.  We have come a long way, and I am thankful... and we still have so many remaining bits of filth- racism- left to eradicate.  I highly recommend this for every Southerner to read.  Only sad part to me was the seeming lack of any true Christians; even though many of the main characters are church-goers, religious and pray a lot, love for and trust in Christ is conspicuously absent, and the white hypocritical "Christians" literally sickened me.  I was very convicted as a mom, too, by the insights this has into parenting.  Well-written good thought-provoking story.  4 stars.
- By the Pricking of My Thumbs, and Partners in Crime, Agatha Christie- salt & sun equal mystery stories to me, so I grabbed a few paperbacks for our BVI trip and thoroughly enjoyed them.   These are about the couple Tommy & Tuppence Berensford, a set of characters I'd never met before (my favorite has always been Hercule Poirot), and these books followed a bit different plot line than your typical Agatha Christie.  Both were fun, the best part being the interplay between the husband and wife-- so realistic, affectionate, and quotable. The plots in Partners in Crime weren't too "wow" (I solved some of them myself, and others were unsolvable without inside information, which I never like).  3 1/2 stars.
- Unnatural Death, Dorothy L. Sayers- I do love Lord Peter Wimsey!!  I appreciated the theological depth here too.  (I wasn't expecting it, and when I saw it, I remembered "duh, Sayers was an Inkling!  She might have read this to Lewis, Chesterton & Tolkien!)  There is a great dialogue between a pastor and a middle-aged spinster employed by Wimsey on the nature of sin, and where responsibility lays. Lovable characters, gripping plot, believable mystery.  Good stuff. 4 stars.
- Fablehaven: Keys to the Demon Prison, Brandon Mull- Book 5 in this very enjoyable series for kids. (Demons in this story are not spiritual, but rather fantastical, thoroughly evil beings.)  Was impressed by the writing and by the moral depth this series provides.  Not strictly Christian (there's an annoying "no religion has it totally right" passage in book 2), but definitely moral, with a view of death, growing up, right & wrong, and the afterlife that is quite in line with Scripture.  4 stars.
- Protecting the Gift, Gavin de Becker- a MUST READ for every parent.  Not kidding.  (I may compile a list of the 10 books I think every parent should read, hmmm...)  I bought this after a friend recommended it, on the same day another friend of mine (lives in my neighborhood) and I were discussing how to teach our kids to be confident & friendly while still keeping them safe (especially our beautiful girls).  This book presents fear as a (God-given) gift which is intended to help us stay safe.  If we teach our children to honor that prickling of the hairs on their necks as well as arming them with the knowledge of what to do, we serve them well.  The book is especially empowering to young moms, describing what amazing feats they have accomplished in order to protect their children (like literally beating an attacker with their bare hands with a baby on their hip), and passes on the clear message:  your daughter could do this, too.  Get it.  Read it.  Teach it to your kids.  5 stars.
- Heaven is for Real, Todd Burpo-  We all read this as discussion-fodder on our sailing trip (our devotional topic was Heaven).  If you're hoping for proof that Heaven is real, well, you should go back to reading the Bible.  If you want to read an encouraging, faith-strengthening reminder of the way God cares for His own both now and forever, pick this up.  I won't get into whether or not this little boy actually went to Heaven, or the New Heaven and the New Earth, or just had a vision.  Whatever the case, the Lord is using it to comfort His saints, and this story is encouraging. 
- Ragman and Other Cries of Faith, Walt Wangerin, Jr.- Wow.  Wangerin is becoming one of Ryan's & my favorite shared authors.  He is a master story-teller.  I LOVE that he is writing outside of my own faith tradition (he is a Lutheran pastor I believe) and so he says things a bit differently, quotes different sources, and pulls in different traditions than I'm used to.  Keeps me from getting jaded.  This book is not a straight story; it's a collection of different genres-- drama, poetry, allegory, sermon, memoir, essay-- each beautiful and powerful in its own way.  The collection is far from a haphazard anthology, but is instead itself an intentionally ordered mosaic meant to draw the soul to God as part of a community being drawn to God.  The chapter on preaching is one I want to copy and send to every pastor I know!! 5 stars.  Quotes WILL be showing up on this blog, I guarantee.
- Warbreaker, Brandon Sanderson-  Ryan has been asking me to read this one by his new favorite fantasy author.  Sanderson is a Mormon, and it seems Mormons are really good at creating complex worlds full of their own religions, types of magic, social orders and traditions.  (Is it that those already creatively inclined are drawn to Mormonism, with its far-fetched beliefs and teaching that each man will become a god with his own world to shape... or does the belief stir up the creativity? Hmmm...)  I appreciated the book for its characters, new cultures to explore, and mystery-- and totally clean (yay!).  Interesting ideas about what makes religion 'true' and what motivates the religious. 3 stars.
- The Bartimeus Trilogy, Jonathan Stroud-- a children's fantasy series that Ryan really enjoyed.  I liked it ok, but found it questionably near true Occult. The magic in these series is invocative; it calls upon powerful demons (invisible to most humans and residents of another reality), controlling them with spells and symbols, and forcing them to do what would be impossible for humans.  This book obviously doesn't take place in our world, which helps keep it as distinctly fiction rather than potentially confusing kids.  An engaging enough plot with plenty of wit and humor; a bit dark; shows power-lust for the wickedness that it is, and self-sacrificing love as the truest greatest power.  Still unsure how to rate it.

In Progress (so far I LOVE them all!!!):
- Let Me Be a Woman, Elisabeth Elliot
- Bad Girls of the Bible, & Really Bad Girls of the Bible, Liz Curtis Higgs
- Undefiled, Harry Shaumberg
- Living in Light of the Gospel Story, World Harvest Mission
- When God Writes your Love Story, Eric & Leslie Ludy
- A Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp
- Elantris, Brandon Sanderson
- The Heart of Anger, Lou Priolo (I can't find my new copy anywhere-- did I loan it out already?)

Next up:
Matched, Ally Condie
The Hunger Games, a trilogy by Suzanne Collins
Pure Excitement, Joe White
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy

Any I should add?

Dating vs. Going on Dates

Some of you may have read my previous post on our family "Three Rules for Dating," and might be wondering how in the world any of us ever met our spouses!  This post will hopefully shed a little bit of light on "how this could work."  Far from trying to tell you how "you should do this," I'm rather trying to sketch out "how one could do this."  My own experience has been far from pain-free, far from sinless, far from perfect, however, I do believe that I was spared much heart-ache and sin!

I went to a public high school with an academic magnet program, which was quite the unique experience!  I had many friends and was friendly with everyone, guys and girls alike, but stayed out of the boy-girl drama, and had my closest friends at church.  There were only a hand-full of believers in my entire school.  But that was what I wanted-- a practice mission field.  Going in with that kind of expectation helped me guard my heart very well.  I knew I wanted to go on to college, that I loved studying and learning, and that I had no business giving my heart away just yet.  I turned down guys who "asked me out," taking the chance to tell them about Jesus and Who He was to me, and also to explain that I viewed dating as preparation for marriage, not divorce, and that I didn't think we were really ready to think about marriage just yet. :)  They usually looked at me a little strange, but accepted it.

What about prom?  I went in a group with a "date" who was really a friend (one year I went with a school mate, believer, and my senior year I brought along one of my closest friends from church, who also happened to be my cousin).  Both times we went out to eat in a group, had a great time getting dressed up and taking pictures, rocked out the dance floor and got picked up by our parents by midnight.  Both nights formed some of my favorite memories of my high school career, and I had no regrets from any of it.  Good, clean fun with my friends, getting to dress up pretty and do "special" things... what more does a high-schooler want?

This pattern of learning to relate to guys and girls in group settings, of not being opposed to going on memorable "dates" as friends in groups, and being clear about my own standards and desire to remain only friends came with me to college.  (There was a year in between where I got my heart broken, but I'll share that in a final post.)  My parents had asked me not to allow myself to be drawn into an exclusive dating relationship ("courtship" to be technical) until my sophomore year of college, and in hindsight I appreciate how wise that was.  I had many guy friends, some of them fairly close (I think it's naturally easier for girls to relate to guys-- that's how it's supposed to work in marriage!  Guys just aren't all... dramatic!), but it was always clear that we were just brother & sister, or friends if they were unbelievers.  My closest friends were girls; my roommate, classmates, dorm-mates, friends from church. 

Before I go on, let me differentiate between "dates" and "dating."  In my mind, a guy and a girl can go on a date as a "get to know you."  They might like each other (or just one might like the other), they might think they possibly could start liking each other, they might just have heard good things about each other.  Going on a date --usually out somewhere, alone or in a group-- has the intention of getting to know each other specifically.  However, it doesn't imply exclusivity.  There were weeks and months where I went on dates with different guys, and wasn't a girlfriend to any of them.  I only ever truly dated one person:  the man who is now my husband, Ryan.  And once we started dating and I was "his girlfriend," I never went on another date with anyone else!  (I've heard other people call going on dates "just hanging out," and dating "courting")

Why allow one-on-one dates at all?  Well, honestly, because sometimes there's just not much other way to get to know someone.  Sure, you could get them into a group, but if it's just an excuse to talk to her, why not skip making everyone else feel like a third wheel, and spend some time getting to know The Girl. Oh yes, in case this doesn't go without saying-- I never asked a guy out, but rather let them ask if they were interested.

Ok so here's how I rolled.  I had my own "Three Date Rule"-- I'd give any believing guy who asked one date.  (Well, except for Presbyterians, because I knew my Baptist convictions were too deep to ever be able to submit to a Presbyterian husband.  My RUF campus pastor loved to tease me about this!)  If I liked something about them, and they asked a second time, I'd say yes to a second date.  By the end of that date (as well as any group activities we'd done) I'd usually have a pretty good idea of whether I'd consider dating them long-term, with a view towards marriage.  If they asked for a third date, and I was game, I'd tell them it was time to call my Dad and get his blessing (for guys that I went on out-of-town group dates with, to formal balls, I would have Dad interview them before date 1). He asked to meet with them, got to know them a bit, gave them the "what are your intentions towards my daughter" talk, and if he trusted them, he would give the OK, and we'd go on our third date.  Usually by this point I knew whether I was interested enough to be exclusive, and we'd have the DTR ("Determine the Relationship" talk). With everyone but Ryan, I had be loving and honest enough to tell these amazing guys that I didn't think I was the right one for them (talk about making yourself feel about this big), and to make it clear that I didn't want to become exclusive or date at all any more.  Hard as those talks were, they were much easier than a break-up would have been!!  Stopping a relationship from becoming exclusive is way easier than having to back-track and get un-exclusive!  I will also say that on dates or in dating relationships, the Beloved's admonition to not "arouse or awaken love until it so desires" is one to take seriously; emotional guardedness= emotional purity (and less broken hearts!)!!  Fun as it is to feel all giddy and infatuated, if it clouds your thinking or leads someone else on, it's not worth it!

I also wasn't afraid to use the Dad card to scare off guys I didn't want to date. :)  One was too chicken to even talk to my dad at all.  Easy one to cross off my list!


Please, feel free to ask questions, make comments, or post your own dating do's & don'ts!

Great Article on Due Dates

... or why that term is a complete misnomer!  I am so proud of several of my friends who have been patiently waiting days and even weeks past their "due dates" (more like guess dates) in order to give their children all the time they need to come out strong and healthy!  This article is so equipping and helpful!  I pass it on to you as a way to increase your knowledge reservoir!

**Disclaimer-- not having read the other posts on this blog, I can't vouch for them. Like anything, I'm guessing it's a mixed bag.  Also, this post does feature a side-shot of a nude pregnant torso, so be forewarned!**

Three Rules for Dating

Lately I've shared my family's "Three Dating Rules" with several people in vastly different circumstances, and each time they've been met with enthusiasm.  SO I thought I'd type them up and share them, along with some personal stories (dating examples) from my own history in a follow-up post.  With all the dating going on right now (some of the kids I have a relationship with have already had serious boyfriends-- even sexual relationships-- and innumerable breakups by age 14), it still surprises me how few parents sit down and sketch out a family vision for dating & guy-girl relationships, which will hopefully end in marriage.  Even kids from excellent families often tell me very sad stories of "wish I'd known" which could have easily been avoided had they had a "Game Plan" going into it.

So, Daddy, this one's for you. :)

I was in my early teens and my sisters were still middle-schoolers when my family joined up with another family with daughters my sisters' ages and started a Bible study on dating.  Our dads got together and wrote the curriculum themselves, incorporating skits, object lessons, and guest interviews from actual couples.  All were QUITE memorable-- ask any one of us 6 girls, a good decade later, and we all still remember a lot, if not all, of what we were taught.  It was also a lot of fun.  Seeing your dads dress up as Pet Smart employees, jocks & geeks is really hilarious.  Someday if I get a publisher's ear I'd LOVE to get that curriculum published!

But I digress.

First, our dads laid the foundational tenets of our family's view on "dating:" (this is my own interpretation, from memory, not a word-for-word transcription...unlike the Three Rules)

A. It's a process that is part of children still functioning under the authority and protection of their parents (especially their fathers), NOT something kids figure out on their own.

B. It's primarily to be a way to evaluate suitability for marriage, NOT to have a good time.

C. It's for those who are secure in God's Love for them, seeking to serve God by serving others, NOT a way to feel loved and served.

D. Marriage is not the be-all and end-all.  Though it's desirable and what we prepare for (statistically it's most likely), a life devoted to God is the goal, single or unmarried.

(Those familiar with the dating-vs.-courtship-vs.-betrothal debate will see that this fits under 'courtship.'  Recreational dating is a better preparation for divorce than marriage, and betrothal is not realistic nor natural in our culture; but I could write a whole post on that.  If there is interest, I can!)  

 All of us knew that our dating relationships would begin with our suitor asking for our father's permission, guidance, and ongoing involvement, as well as the incorporation of our whole families into the relationship.  We were all still under our dad's authority & protection until the wedding day, not our boyfriend's nor our own.  What a relief!  Good parents know their kids pretty well, and can usually size up suitable partners for them pretty accurately, without the rose-colored glasses to cloud the picture.

Ok, the Three Rules are:

1.  Only date those whom you find interesting and attractive.  No pity dates, no revenge dates, no desperate dates.  If you don't think they're fun to be around, you don't have to say yes, no matter how awesome everyone else thinks s/he is.  Not to say you couldn't hang out a bit in groups to try and find out whether they might become interesting & attractive to you... but saying 'no' for no reason other than personal preference isn't wrong.  See Song of Solomon -- we are supposed to find our spouses fascinating (and spouse-hood is the aim of courtship!).

2. Only date those who meet the criteria met upon beforehand by you and your parents.  If you are a Christian, than Christianity is a non-negotiable (marriage between an unbeliever and a believer is expressly forbidden in Scripture, and it is also a great sorrow to all those who find themselves in one.  Since dating is evaluating suitability for marriage, this is a no-brainer.  2 Cor 6:14)  My criteria included being over 5' 11'', not having a temper, enjoying different cultures, being spiritually mature & able to lead me, and being open to missions & adoption (among other things).  My dad added 'able to provide' to the list (something most girls don't think about).  If you make the list BEFORE the Potential steps up, you won't be trying to make it "fit" any one person.

3. Only date when you are in a season of life when you could reasonably consider marriage (not necessarily immediately, but in the natural course of an un-rushed relationship).  This would change for each person.  In my situation, I was committed to pursuing a degree at a university, cramming several different programs into 4 years (with the help of lots of high school credit), and I knew I was not interested in marriage soon after high school.  So my folks asked me to wait to get into a dating relationship until after my freshman year of college, allowing me to really get my bearings, to build deep friendships with girls, to be free to enjoy my new home without any one person monopolizing my time, and to figure out what my focus was to be.  I wouldn't trade my days on campus for anything-- I grew so much, threw myself into my studies, made amazing memories, learned so much, loved hard and made really deep friendships-- none of which which would have been possible if I'd had a guy claiming most of my mind and heart space.  **note that I did feel the freedom to go on individual dates with different guys in a non-romantic context (different school functions).  We always went in groups and had a blast!

The main reasoning behind this last rule is to guard against temptation-- especially sexual but also towards discontentment. "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." (Song of Solomon 8:4)  If you let yourself fall in love with The One when you are unable to be married (relatively) soon, frustrations are multiplied!  I think this applies to kids who start to like each other in high school; you can keep an affection in check by not entering into a commitment until you are able to keep it, and keep it soon.  You won't have to let immaturity ruin a great friendship. :)

So... those were our three "rules," and they have served me well.  One of my sisters is also happily married, and in a wonderful twist, one of the other girls in our study is now dating my first cousin... HAH we knew they found each other "interesting and attractive"!! =D

What guidelines did you have in your families, or do you want to have in yours now?

Great Article on Simple Changes to "Healthify" Old Favorites

Love a recipe but know it isn't the greatest for you?  Check out this post over on Passionate Homemaking!  These are all great steps and tidbits to help you take one step at a time towards healthier living!


Along a similar vein, but much more in-depth and thorough is the eBook Healthy Homemaking; one step at a time, by Stephenie Langford (Keeper of the Home).  I have it and immediately thought of about 25 people who would love it!

Off to make dinner, speaking of cooking!  I came home to an empty fridge and an overflowing garden! 

San Antonio- the personal side

(note the blueberry-stained fingers)

Jane (2) & Eowyn (21 months) were great friends, when they weren't screaming at each other, of course.

Sweet Ryan playing with a favorite toy

A heart-to-heart

Girl time!

Looking at animal pictures on Mr Aaron's iPhone

We snuck in and captured them talking quietly in Jane's "house"

How did they get to be SO CUTE!??

Awww...

Matching cuteness down on the Riverwalk.
(I made these matching dresses out of an outdated outfit of my grandma's, and we got compliments all day!)

Jenny & I by the San Antonio canal.  We ate at the Rainforest Cafe-- the BEST place to take kids EVER!

I wish we had gotten pictures of them dancing like crazy in the Rainforest Cafe... it was amazing.

Overview from San Antonio

Remember the Alamo!

Eowyn and I are enjoying a visit to our friends the Montgomerys in San Antonio, TX.  Jenny (the Mrs. of the family) and I first became friends through our church's ladies mentoring ministry, called (rather cheesily, I must say) "Spiritual Friends."  Both of us were believers, newly-weds, working women, and newly moved to Louisville from out-of-state.  We also both loved scrapbooking, good books, and chocolate.  Over the next four years (and three babies between us) we spent hundreds of ours together, either at Book Club, church,  watching movies together when our husbands worked late, scrapbooking, or eating, or drinking her precisely-brewed hot chocolate (still don't know anyone who can beat it), or at mother's play group outings.  The last year or so of her time in Louisville we started getting together every Wednesday afternoon to scrapbook/craft while our babies napped.  We got quite a bit done, and managed to discuss everything from child-rearing to Harry Potter to recipes and everything in between-- frustrations and fears, struggles and dreams, and the slap-happy laughing that comes to sleep-deprived moms pushed slightly above the limit of sanity.  Our husbands bonded over computers, Drupal, good food & drink, rock music and a shared alma mater (both are Boyce College grads).

Then she moved suddenly.  I was out of town when she called me with the news.  We'd known this day was coming, but not so soon (isn't that how it always is?).  I hurried home across 4 state lines to help her finish packing and load up the car.  Our families shared a final meal of Moe's take-out on their living room floor amidst the final odds & ends of their former life.

I've missed Jenny a lot.  Eowyn and Jane are 9 months apart, nearly to the day, and have always played very well together (well, when they weren't trying to strangle each other).  And my scrapbooking has suffered.  So when Jenny had the brilliant idea of bringing us out to San Antonio for a week, I could NOT say no!  They have very generously entertained us for the past 5 days, and we have more planned for our last 3!  Here are some pics (clips of childish cuteness to follow) so you can enjoy our Texas Adventure with us!

Eowyn playing with her cloth paper-doll on the flight over.

Practicing for life with triplets? (at a play house called Just Add Children)

Power shoppers

These live oaks are so beautiful in a rugged, twisted way.

Pretty much sweet cuteness incarnate, Ryan (13 mos)

Our favorite way to beat the heat!

VERY typical:  Ryan trying to literally dive in head-first, Jane playing safely OUTSIDE the pool.

Eowyn's response to me taking a picture "No!!!" 

The downtown Riverwalk (I'm a fan!)

Second "Frontier" Fave: Raw Milk Yogurt

As a follow-up to yesterday's post on Just-Fruit "Frontier" Jam, here is the technique I regularly use to make our yogurt.  Thank you to my friend Randi for the know-how on this one!  I also referred to Nourishing Traditions, Gut and Psychology Syndrome, Internal Bliss and these tutorials (1, 2 & 3).

Step 1:  Get out a half-gallon of fresh, raw, creamy milk from a source you trust-- grass fed and organic are not optional here. 

Step 2:  Gently heat the milk to between 101 and 118 degrees F.  You don't want to go above 118 or else you will start killing the enzymes in the milk (thence kind of defeating the purpose of starting with raw milk, though of course it's still going to be better than most milk).  The first time I did this I borrowed a friend's meat thermometer and stopped at precisely 110 degrees, noting how hot it felt on my pinky.  Since then I guesstimate.  It's about the right temp when you stick your finger in and it feels hot-- too hot to keep in for long but not so hot you scald yourself.  The milk should not be boiling or frothing.   I use a wooden spoon to stir it every so often.  The milk heats up rather quickly.

Meanwhile, have your yogurt starter waiting in the bottom of the jars you'll use.  Most sources recommend about 2 T of yogurt as a starter for a half gallon.  I now guesstimate; a bit more or less doesn't seem to really make that much difference.  You do want enough to jump start the fermentation, but not so much that it all turns to whey.

Step 3:  As soon as the milk reaches 110, pour a little into the jar(s) with the starter in them, and stir.  This warms the starter up a bit so it isn't shocked by the hot milk.  Then pour in the rest of the milk.  Stir gently a few times.  Quickly put the jars into a cooler stuffed with towels for insulation.  Leave to incubate over night.  I usually put it in the fridge in the morning so it doesn't get too tangy.

Optional Step 4- Thickening the Yogurt: I usually do this with half of the yogurt if it's too runny-- strain it through a coffee filter in a strainer over a glass bowl for a few hours.  Keep the liquid (whey) and use it in smoothies, soaking grains, baking or as a probiotic supplement (it's tangy and not bad tasting).  The yogurt remaining will be as thick and creamy as you want it to be.  If you let it keep dripping then you'll end up with raw cream cheese (yum!!).  I don't bother dripping the yogurt we use for smoothies since it gets slushed up anyway! :)

My favorite ways to enjoy yogurt are with just-fruit jam in it and a dusting of cinnamon, or with fresh or frozen berries, cinnamon, ginger and raw honey or Grade B maple syrup drizzled on it.  Eowyn is quite a fan as well!

First "Frontier" (i.e. Low-Tech) Fave: Jam

As many of you know, I long for the days of the homesteader, and dream of one day having our own little farm on a few acres of land, growing enough to feed a sizeable brood of people-chicks as well as a cow, a few goats, chickens, a dog or two and a passel of cats.  In the meantime, we have one child, no pets, and a small city lot.  I make up for the lack of mouths to feed by taking in as many guests as possible-- we have several adopted "family" members regularly around our table, and, like my mama taught me, I find great joy in making sure nobody goes home hungry or lonesome.  I also try to do as much "low-tech," DIY as possible.  (I'm even venturing into the realm of furniture and jobs involving... hacksaws, gulp).  If Ma Ingalls couldn't buy it, I don't like using it.  Usually.  The occasional frappucino is an exception.

Slowly I'm adding more and more kitchen jobs to my own bag of tricks (though it's nice to know I can grab them from a store shelf in a pinch).  It started with buying dry beans instead of canned, moved on to getting a little coffee grinder to grind my own grains, trying my hand at fermentation of water kefir, soaking, seasoning & drying my own nuts, and most recently expanded to making my own nut butters, nut milk & nut pulp (and nut milk lattes, yum!).   Two new successes and now-Szrama staples are raw milk yogurt and fresh fruit preserves.  They are SO simple and low-tech that they make me happy, and I thought I'd share them with others since I had difficulty in tracking down precise instructions online.


In the spirit of eating seasonally, Eowyn & I recently picked a bumper crop of local strawberries-- juicy, sweet, and red.  Along with pies, strawberry ice cream and plenty of strawberries & cream, I sliced & froze a gallon for smoothies, then tried my hand at jam-making.  The following technique is a result of a plea for help on FB, and I am indebted to my friend Megan for the knowledge.

Just Fruit Jam

Step One: wash your berries. Aim for a mix of very-ripe (sweet!) berries, moderately ripe berries, and a good many underripe (still have green tips) berries.  The less ripe, the more natural pectin they contain.

Step 2: Cut the berries in half and bring to a boil.  I left mine on the heat about 30 minutes, stirring almost constantly.  In the mean time wash and sanitize your glass jars.

Step 3:  Boil your lids & rings.  Keep them boiling until you slap them on the jars.  (I used a few standard metal lids for giving away, but mostly used reusable plastic Tattler lids.)

Step 4:  Prepare your hot water bath.  You need to have enough water boiling to cover 1" over the tops of your jars, and there needs to be something keeping the jars off the bottom of the pot.  I used my pasta insert and it barely fit in 6 jars & their water.

Step 5:  Pour the cooked fruit into the jars, leaving about 1" headroom and wiping down the rims.  Put a lid on top and a ring screwed on securely but not as tight as it will go.  Immerse the fruit into the hot water bath and boil for 10-15 minutes.

Step 6:  Pull jars out and allow to cool over a 12-hr period.  Their lids should all sink in, indicating an airtight seal.  If one doesn't, refrigerate it and let it be the first one you eat!

Step 7: Admire! Ta-Da!! I did a second batch with mulberries and a few crisp apples cooked with the strawberries.  My thought was that the mulberries add sweetness and the apples add pectin, so we'll see how the texture between the pure strawberries & mul-straw-apple berries compares.

EDIT:  It's been a few months, and we've popped open and enjoyed two VERY YUMMY jars of this jam!  THe mul-stra-apple jam is very "normal" in texture, quite sweet, and very yummy.  I loved finding chunks of fruit in it, but some folks may want a more uniform texture-- I'd suggest using a potato masher (boiled to sanitize) right before putting the fruit into jars.  Still haven't tried the just-strawberries yet.  Will update when I do!

A Few Good (GAPS) Meals

These are meals we've either eaten or that I have planned for this coming week.  I've used Internal Bliss, the cookbook that came with the GAPS book, Nourishing Traditions, and recipes I've adapted for GAPS-friendliness (substituting almond meal for breadcrumbs, things like that).  When we've had company over (which has actually occurred quite frequently, and Ryan's parents were here for 8 days!), I usually added a garden salad and garlic bread, and E & I just didn't eat that.

I'll do it this way-- rather than listing out each meal as a meal, I'll just list the main dishes, sides & desserts separately.  Especially in the first 2 weeks, I rotated the same few dishes quite a bit.

Main dishes: 
-- baked salmon (lemon, garlic, paprika, sea salt, pepper, olive oil),
-- roast chicken (butter, fresh herbs from the garden, sea salt & pepper) baked with veggies (carrots, broccoli, onion, celery, and squash)
-- beef-broth soup
-- Jean's Meatloaf with homemade tomato sauce
-- spaghetti squash "noodles" with fresh tomato sauce
--meat (chicken, duck, pork loin) roasted with veggies (broccoli, carrot, onion & carrot)
-- nut pancakes (made with pumpkin, eggs & peanut butter) spread with chicken or tuna salad (onion, celery, homemade raw mayo, dill weed, sea salt, garlic powder, lemon juice)
-- almond crust sausage pizza
-- ommlettes (bacon & cheese, cheese, sour cream & veggie...)
-- eggs & bacon or sausage (Eowyn's favorite)
-- smoothies!!-- two favorites have been "pumpkin pie" and "peanut butter"-- now that we can eat fruit the variety is endless
-- curried chicken (also curried beef) with carrots, onion, broccoli & zucchini-- SO GOOD!
-- Mexican-style green salad (greens, tomato, salsa, cheese, sour cream, beef bologna)

Sides
-- carrots julienne
-- roasted mashed carrots (with sea salt & cultured cream... wow)-- so sweet they taste candied!
-- cream of brocolli soup (homemade stock, cultured cream, broc & onions)
-- grilled cheese apples  (SO good!!  just slice apples, top with cheese, and broil/toast/bake!)
-- kale chips of various flavors
-- steamed broccoli with garlic & herbs
-- jalapeno cheese buscuits
-- hazelnut & seed crackers
-- real (lacto-fermented) saurkraut (cabbage & carrots) & pickles (just salt, water, peppercorn & pickling cucumbers)
-- zucchini sauteed in tallow (yum!)-- Eowyn adored these and ate them like chips
-- fresh fruits & veggies like always  (including the first lettuce from our garden!)
-- apple sauce with liver (Eowyn alone eats this... and she loves it.  I am not quite so brave.  I do intend to learn to cook and like liver, though... soon.)

Desserts
-- nut pancakes (made with pumpkin/squash, eggs & peanut butter)spread with butter & all-fruit jam or maple syrup
-- strawberry ice cream, coconut ice cream (coconut milk, cultured cream, raw milk & maple syrup)
-- strawberry-rhubarb custard pie (the crust was the trickiest, but I managed & will post a recipe soon); also blueberry-rhubarb custard pie
-- mulberry crumble
-- dried fruits (I'm starting to make my own in our dehydrator)
-- "Lara bars" (the easiest "cookie" ever, and the best way to sneak nutrition into your diet
-- hazelnut milk latte
--  stewed apples (apples, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger & butter)

If anyone wants any particular recipes, feel free to ask!

GAPS Intro

Many of you know that Eowyn & I (and, when he eats with us, Ryan) are on a long-term diet called the 'Gut and Psychology Syndrome' diet, or GAPS diet.  Its goal is to heal the gut, in four ways:  (1) giving it a "break" from anything hard to digest during the Intro stage, (2) replenish the bacteria ("gut flora") necessary for proper digestion, immune function, overall and mental health (3) starve off opportunistic yeasts & harmful bacteria ("bad gut flora"), and (4) provide foods rich in healing properties and nutrients.  It's been used to successfully treat many types of chronic conditions, from dyslexia to autism (ASDs) to epilepsy to acid reflux.  Quite a tall order for a diet, which is why those who go on it expect to stick to it for at least 18 months- 2 years, longer for long-established problems.  Properly-prepared gluten-free grains may be reintroduced if desired after that point (2ish years) in addition to GAPS-approved foods.

So what kinds of foods hurt the gut?  First off, SUGAR-- so no refined sugar in any forms, and limited natural sugars (in the earliest stages of the Introduction diet dried fruits & most fresh fruits are eliminated).  Also grains, raw fibrous veggies at first (until the gut is mostly healed) improperly prepared beans, nuts & lentils, and anything processed (no MSG, no artificial flavorings, no propa-hexa-muta-gora-bora-bora... you get the idea).  Fertilizers, pesticides, and other remnants of commercial farming make their way into foods and upset guts trying to heal, so as much as can be bought organic should be.  The fresher the better, too!

What heals the gut?  Lots of bone broths & stocks, fermented foods (saurkraut- which I HAVE learned to like, natural pickles... AMAZING, yogurt, kombucha, kefirs of all kinds), ginger, coconut & natural, whole-food fats (ghee, butter, tallow, lard, olive oil, palm oil, coconut oil, and cream once dairy is introduced).  While pasteurized dairy is not allowed, raw milk & cream, and fermented dairy products like yogurt, sour cream, pima cream & most cheeses are encouraged.  I've had fun learning to make my own of most of the above-- thanks to modern appliances, most is REALLY easy!  (For those familiar with Weston A. Price's work, or with the Whole/Traditional Foods or Slow Cooking movements, it's like a WAPF diet without grains and most beans, with extra emphasis on fermented foods.)

Anyway, it is a learning curve, and many people get about a month into the diet and get super bored.  If you're used to cooking a lot of grain-based meals it's definitely intimidating.  Eowyn & I went through the six-step Introduction Cycle in 2 weeks, which is kind of the minimum suggested.  While both of us had warning signs of imbalanced gut flora-- for me, my Celiac's disease, bad morning sickness during pregnancy, recurrent ear infections (3 in as many months after 20 years without them) and the beginnings of renewed yeast imbalances (urg, after being free for 4 years!!!) were signs.  For Eowyn, signs that my bad gut flora had been passed on to her (through delivery and subsequent breast-feeding) were severe enough acid reflux to be prescribed medication (HUGE RED FLAG IN BABIES!!!), and food reactions (to blueberries, to peanuts, to wheat, to who knew what).  What's motivated me?  Well, the recurrent ear infections were getting annoying, and my doctor was about to refer me to an ENT, because "adults aren't supposed to get ear infections."  While regular chiropractic care was keeping the fluid draining enough to delay infection, I could still feel the fluid in my ears all the time.  Also, if I do get pregnant in this coming year, I'll do ANYTHING to avoid morning sickness, and ANYTHING to try and pass on GOOD gut flora to my next baby!! 

I highly recommend Dr McBride's book Gut & Psychology Syndrome, for anyone interested in nutrition, mental health, learning disabilities, and child-rearing in general.  Actually, truth be told I think all moms should read it.  In our generation, it's become normal to be prescribed anti-nausea medication during pregnancy and to need to either radically change your diet while nursing (no dairy, no chocolate, no peanuts, etc) or give your baby Prevacid for 5 months, and food intolerances or learning disabilities in kids are ubiquitous.

Next is a list of meals that have worked for us, lest anyone think we are starving (and for anyone who's on GAPS and would like some fresh ideas!).

PS- so far, Eowyn has shown NO reactions to any of the foods she seemed to react to before!!  She's eating all sorts of nuts, including peanuts, all berries, and hasn't had red cheeks or diaper rash at all!  Praise the Lord!

Imagining Grief

Kind of as a follow-up to the post I wrote a few days ago, here is a link to an insightful blog post (by Molly Piper) on the value of imagining another's grief as a way to attempt to enter into it with them, instead of just saying "I can't even imagine," and walking off.  (Thank you, Mary Scott, for the lead!)

I'd also like to clarify and say that I DO definitely think there's a time and place to share our griefs.  I don't think we need (or want to) tell everyone we see, even at church, just how we hurt and why.  Though there is room for that -- like in my pregnant-woman-illustration-- and it does breed humility and honesty as Ashlea pointed out in the comments (please read hers-- it is really good stuff), I was thinking of closer circles of friends, such as a church small group, family member, or best friend. 

Personal bent-  my best friend, already long married, was grappling with infertility (and the difficulty of being a "seminary widow") while I was bopping along as a college student.  She still shared her pain with me, and I did my best to enter into it and try to encourage her (and pray hard that God would give her a child!), through poetry and Scripture and silly socks and all the things that good friends do together (like almost setting the kitchen on fire making falafel).  Later, when she miscarried, I did my best to listen and to assure her that God was still good, remembering what had most comforted me in my own 'dark night of the soul.'  I found it so encouraging that she said my words actually were exactly what she needed to hear, not because "I'd been there," but because I'd known pain, and I know the Comforter.  In our own church small group we don't break up singles and marrieds, nor those with kids and without them (we do often split up guy-girl), and it's really sweet to hear people praying fervently on behalf of others for pain and hardships they've never personally experienced-- the healthy young mom praying for the ailing older woman; the married woman praying for God's guidance for a single girl struggling to know her role & future; the college kid praying for the mom at her wit's end with two-year-old tantrums. 

So please don't misunderstand; I think there is HUGE need for sensitivity and consideration, and I do NOT mean to say that every stay-at-home mom should call up her single friend and moan to her about how hard it is to stay home every day, when she knows that that's exactly what her single friend wants more than anything in the world.  I do mean that if her friend loves her, then she will ask how she is doing, and in that moment it would not be wrong for the tired mom to be honest. 

Ok, baby crying... gotta go!  Please, keep the comments and interaction coming! 

The Fine Line Between Complaint and Grief

I recently heard a talk that left me wondering "is there a difference between complaining and grieving?"  The speaker was sharing both how the Lord had brought her through very difficult trials (which was a real blessing to hear), and also how we as fellow Christians could minister and be mindful of the trials of another.  The second part was what led to my questions, my musings, and what (I hope) the Lord is teaching me. Here goes... they kind of build on each other, but are interrelated.  Hopefully it is somewhat coherent. :)

1. Grief is real.  It's a part of this life, sure as breathing.  For Christians, suffering is guaranteed, even escalated, because of our faith.  But it's also redeemed, given purpose, given a Presence.  We are comforted in our suffering by the One who knows us best and loves us most, we are assured that this suffering is doing wonderful things in us, and that it will make us happier in the long (eternal) run.  Our Savior picked up every bit of leftover bread when He fed the multitudes-- would He ever waste our sufferings?

2. We are commanded to share each other's joys and griefs.  That is, there will be times when someone else is crying when we feel like laughing, and we are supposed to put aside our desire to whoop and holler and try to enter into their grief, as if it were our own.  There will be other times when our pain is so deep that we wonder how anyone anywhere could even smile.  In those times, we are to give thanks for another's blessings, and rejoice with them.  WOW!! I remember reading something that Richard Wurmbrand, who was tortured for 14 years in Soviet Romania for his confession of Christ and continued preaching of Him, wrote-- something along the lines of "I remembered that somewhere, some believer was full, some believer had his children around him, some believer was worshiping God freely, and so I could rejoice for them, with them, even in my prison cell." (Read his description of the priest who taught him this here.)  Talk about humbling. 

3. The Biblical command to 'do all things without complaining' is not a gag order on grief.  We CAN grieve without complaining, but we have to watch ourselves!  Picture this:  an obviously-pregnant woman enters a room, sweating in the July heat, ankles swollen and face tired.  She immediately begins bemoaning how uncomfortable she is, how hard being pregnant is, how she just wishes the baby would hurry up and be born.  That's complaining, and it probably isn't exactly "helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it might benefit those who listen." (Eph. 4:29)  As my mom often chided us, "That's the sort of talk that got Israel wandering in the desert for 40 years!"  Picture another scenario, though:  the same obviously- pregnant woman comes into the room, and at the question "how are you?" she says, quite seriously "I am having such a hard time being pregnant right now.  I really could use your prayer-- everything hurts and I haven't slept a solid night for 5 months now."  That's not complaining, that's grieving (at least as I see it), and any one who hears that-- man, woman without kids, woman with 5 kids, woman wishing she had kids-- can and should acknowledge that her grief is real, and do what they can to ease it, whether it be with encouraging words from Scripture, with reminders that something beautiful will come of this pain, prayer, a glass of cool water, or a big hug. But expressing our pain, our emotion, our questions, our confusion, can be a part of grief, an asking for burden-sharing, even of worship-- just check the Psalms!-- and doesn't need a Phil 2:14 "do all things without complaining!" slapped onto it.

4. Different kinds of grief are... different, but all potentially equally painful.  Suffering naturally turns us inward and make us so selfish.  When I hurt deeply, it is all too easy to let that pain become the lens through which I interpret everything around me.   "How could she share her struggles? Can't she see that MY pain is the worst? How dare he laugh around me?  Doesn't he know I'm suffering?"  You get the idea.  But that's just not Biblical.  If I'm a Christian with a chronically painful back, and my sister in Christ is crying because she didn't get accepted into the study program she wanted so badly, we can both validate each other's grief.   We can put our arms around each other and say "we're both hurting-- let's take our pain to Jesus together."

Two areas I've felt this and seen this at my stage of life are singleness v. marriage and infertility v. child-rearing.  I've heard things like "Don't complain about how hard your marriage is to your single friends.  They don't want to hear it."  Similarly, I've heard "If you're having a hard time being pregnant, only talk about it with people who are 'like you' (as in, people who are not infertile)."  I think both of those are dead wrong. Of course, I don't think that complaining is ever right, especially not about one's husband, whom we have vowed to honor and are commanded to respect (Eph. 5:33), BUT to say that one can only share one's sufferings with one who has suffered the same sorrow kind of defeats the point of verses like "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the Law of Christ" (Gal. 6:2).  It doesn't say anything about only sharing burdens like the ones we already carry.   That would imply that our pain is more valid than another's. Honestly, I think it's very helpful for singles -- who so often are tempted to make an idol of marriage-- to hear the struggles and heart-aches that marriage can bring.  Similarly, it is a good reminder to the one who is overwhelmed and weary from day-and-night childcare to hear that others would give anything to have a child.  And the converses are true.  Other griefs act as great perspective checks.

5.  It seems the best way to share grief is to first just listen, probably hug, too, and then offer to pray (possibly right then & there).  However, hearing a litany of "what not to say" is only so helpful.  If we rather start at the point that everyone has hurt, and probably means to comfort, we'll be way better off-- less offended for sure-- than expecting everyone to walk around eggshells around me because "I'm suffering."

So back to the beginning, and also the conclusion... everyone has hurt.  I read Proverbs 14:10 as a depressed and confused 6th grader and was struck by its truth "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy."  We are all the walking wounded, despite the smile and clean clothes.  For some, the hurt is clear and public, perhaps painfully obvious:  the broken engagement, the death of a child, the sudden loss of a job.  Their grief is easy to spot, so easy that these grieving are likely to crave anonymity instead of sympathy.  For others, the pain is buried deep, darkly shrouded, the despair so often borne alone:  the spouse addicted to pornography, the dream that must be buried yet again, the secret hope so long deferred, a long loneliness that wears down the soul.  Talk to anyone long enough, though, and you will find a fellow sufferer.  Our challenge in Christ is to extend a hand, then put our own shoulder gently under the other's burden, and together face the Light. I like how the ESV puts that verse-- "The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy."  Let us not be strangers!

I guess the one-liner swirling through my mind after typing and thinking and praying a bit on this is: let's SHARE our burdens, without complaining, yet without guilt.  What are your thoughts?  Anything to add or share?

And She Threw it Out the Window, the Window, the Second-story...

I was just reminded of that old children's silly-song; the one that turns every nursery into a defenestration event; "Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was white as snow, and every where that Mary went, she threw it out the window, the window, the second-story window; with a heave and a ho, and a mighty throw, she threw it out the window... Peter, Peter, pumpkin-eater, had a wife and couldn't keep her, so he put her in a pumpkin shell, and then he threw her out the window, the window, the second...."  You get the point.

It kind of reminded me of my day yesterday.

Well, no, I didn't exactly throw my daughter (or my sheep) out the window.  I didn't really throw anything at all.  Actually, I didn't really do anything, except memorize the crack and hole in our ceiling, just above our bed, and close my eyes a lot.  So what got thrown out the window?  Well, all my plans.

We'd just gotten back from a trip-- ok, please excuse the trip-summary; I just can't resist the urge to chronicle-- Two Fridays ago, Ryan, his sister Courtney (who'd stayed with us a week), Eowyn & I drove down to Greenville, SC, meeting Ryan's step-dad (otherwise known as "Poppy") in Knoxville and drop Courtney off with him (I almost choked to death in MacDonald's, but that's a long story involving speculation as to the condition of Adam & Eve's DNA, extra-salty fries, and a very stubborn couple).  We listened to Eowyn screaming, Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban (review coming soon on my blog), and pulled in to my parents' just in time for a quick dinner and settling Eowyn in with Nina & GB.  Then Ryan & I drove up the road for our first-ever Marriage Retreat.  I'm sure I'll post thoughts on that later, but for now, I highly recommend it for every one; young, old, newly-wed, on the rocks, whatever.  The one we went to was put on by Family Life, called A Weekend to Remember, and it was very well-done.  Solid, thought-provoking, Biblical, and accessible (so lacking so much of the time!!).   My sister & bro-in-law were there, too, as were several other folks we knew from around town.

Two Sundays ago we enjoyed a big family lunch with several of my aunts & their families, my sisters, and my grandparents, at my mom's house.  Eowyn was very happy to see us back, which of course was gratifying.  Then Ryan flew out to Chicago for three days, while E & I visited old friends, enjoyed Lake Keowee on Uncle Steve's new boat, were so encouraged by my parent's church small group (Eowyn caused quite a stir by dancing during singing, then saying "AMEN!" every time anyone mentioned Jesus' name during prayer), were spoiled by Nina (my mom), had a little road trip down to visit my baby sister at Clemson University, and spent time with family.  Ryan flew back in to Greenville and we all enjoyed walking around in the magnificent down town area, and checking out houses for sale in the area (no, we aren't moving yet).  I'll have to post pictures soon, especially of the Children's Garden, which was just superb.  You wouldn't think a toddler would get excited about a garden, but oh, she did.

Saturday we drove up to Abingdon, VA, to spend the night and much of Mother's Day with Grandma & Grandpa Presley.  We went to church with them, and Grandpa grilled steaks for us all after wards. Eowyn really showed off for them, tickling every one, playing with all the toys, and being very obedient, cuddly and sweet.  After church we drove home... with poor Eowyn only taking a 1 hour nap instead of her usual 2+... she was a basket case.  The only way I could keep her from crying hysterically- and not an angry cry, but a "my world is falling please don't leave me, Mommy" break-your-heart sob, was by holding her hand.  She's never really wanted to do that before, going down the stairs excepted, so I thought that was sweet... but two hours later my shoulder was sore and I had really hoped to get more mending done!  Oh well... by God's grace we made it home, unpacked the car, sorted the mail, and I even got 2 loads of laundry thrown in.  We talked to all our moms to wish them Happy Mother's Day, and Ryan's Dad to wish him Happy Birthday, and called it a night. I fell asleep composing my To-Do List:

Unpack.  Plant the cuttings brought from Tia Olga's garden.  Weed, thin, and finish planting garden.  Make chicken stock.  Thaw beef stock.  Render beef tallow.  Meal plan & get groceries for week, starting the GAPS diet for Eowyn & I on Tuesday.  Finish mending projects.  [If time, blog about 3 children's books I read while gone.  Plan music & Spanish lessons for summer.]

I could do that, yeah, no problem.  It would be good to get everything in order and jump back into life at home.

I woke up Monday with a sore throat, though, which didn't surprise me too much; I've been fighting one off and on for three weeks now, and it rears its head whenever I don't get enough rest and/or eat too much sugar (usually traveling supplies both circumstances).  I nursed Eowyn, helped her potty, then we both went back to bed.  Two hours later I awoke from a stressful dream and realized that I was cramping my neck.  When I moved to rearrange my pillow and stretch, sharp pain exploded in my neck.  Any movement of my head brought severe pain.  I moved my arms, legs, even shoulders just fine-- it was just my neck.  I could tell it was muscular, not a nerve being pinched-- there was no accompanying metallic tang or twangy feel.  Still, it hurt, my position making it worse.  I had to move, to try and ease the pain.  As I did, I started to cry.  Ryan woke up and reached for my hand.  "What's wrong?"  "I can't move.  My neck hurts so bad.  I can't move."

Next thing you know, Eowyn was up and crying, too.  Poor Ryan.  Mr. Not-a-morning-person had a baby who wanted Mommy and a Mommy who couldn't move to hold the baby.  We finally got her to snuggle on my chest; I could stroke her hair but couldn't look at her.  And that was pretty much our day.  Ryan took Eowyn to the store to get us some food.  He grabbed Tangled from Red Box, which was fun.  He put Eowyn to bed and heated up enchiladas for me.  He called around trying to find someone to watch Eowyn, then decided to just watch her himself and call the day a wash as far as work went.  He put my hair in a pony tail when I couldn't do it myself.  He cut up my steak into bite-sized pieces.  He poured me water and kefir and brought me ibuprofin.  The only time he was a less-than-perfect nurse was when he put stuff just out of my peripheral vision, leaving me to feel around blindly to find it.  But that was quite innocent, and each time it happened we both laughed, which was nice.

Me?  I did... nothing.  No shopping, no stock, no gardening, not even any book reviewing.  I did rest, and snuggle Eowyn, and watch Tangled and Lord of the Beans and most of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.  I took a nap.  Towards the end of the day I was able to get up and bring the laundry up (very slowly) and even put it away.  I was able to find a nice light book that I could hold up above my head without tiring my arms.  I was able to read a good-night story to Eowyn and give her a bottle.

My plans went out the window.  But instead of making me fume and fuss, I was able to just enjoy the day of rest.  I didn't get much "done," but I was able to be cared for by my husband, and daughter.  (Every time I cried or made a sound in pain, she'd rush over to me saying "Hug!", and would comfort me with kisses-- oh the sweetest little kisses ever)  It was a day of receiving, not of giving.  Of resting, not of working.  It was what God had ordained for me.  I'm sure there are parables there, but I haven't really tried to find them yet.  It's just where I was yesterday, and still am in part today, though I have been able to do much more, so I thought I'd share.  Maybe God is trying to teach me that I want to see myself as the Do-er, when sometimes He wants me to be the Rest-er.  Or maybe He's trying to teach me to Rest even as I Do... like Jesus was fed as He did the works His Father sent Him to do.  Hmmm...

Maybe tomorrow I'll go outside and try to pick up the pieces of those plans, if they haven't blown too far.