Showers of Blessing

Here are some pictures from the shower my home church, Grace Baptist of Taylors, and Tia Olga threw for Ryan & I this weekend. The womenfolk of Ryan's family all came down (or up, depending on where they live normally); his grandmother Martha Presley, his Mom Tamara, his sister Courtney, his Aunt Karen, and his cousin Kelly (Kasey couldn't make it). My maternal grandmother, Lulu (aka Mama Lulu) came as well, and of course the Greenville Tias came-- Olga & Sylvia. It was the first time the grandmothers met, as well as some of the other family members. It was also the long-awaited first time Ryan met my sister Nicole's boyfriend, Colin-- they've been hearing about each other for months now, lol. Though, Colin, i don't think the gift you let Nicole put your name on made the best impression... since when is Sense & Sensibility a guy movie? ;D

I can go on and on about how wonderful the whole weekend was, and I probably WILL eventually, ...I mean, my family really outdid themselves, and so many sweet memories were made... but I HAVE to get these lesson plans started, so I'll post these pictures to appease some of you clamoring for updates, as a temporary/intermediate fix.

The plans for teaching the very DAY after we get back from our honeymoon daunt me a little. I was wanting to be made more to feel my dependance on, even my desperate need for Divine Grace... I think this is an answer to those prayers!

Love and grace,

--Christina

The Two Sets of "Tony & Angie"s

I realized I have pictures of both of them, so y'all can see them!

The Hepp variety
Ryan knew Tony through Cross of Calvary Baptist in Corydon, IN. We ate sushi with them last week. Tony just graduated from Southern & they'll be moving to Texas on August 18th...sadly for us!

The Taylor Variety (married on May 5th!)
They're members at Immanuel with us, and we have Bible Study on Thursdays at their house. Ryan usually dresses up for the occasion, as the following picture will show

(sporting Tony's daughter Destiny's, nicknamed Nini (aged 4), hair tie. He thought he knew how to 'work' them, but didn't really. So Angie & I showed him how it was done.)

Side By Side Living

Well, I've been told by many that I need to update, and I've even wanted to myself! What's kept me has chiefly been the inexplicable aversion of this particular computer to blogger. I don't understand it, but it takes usually 3-4 tries, often with several minutes of blank screen at a time, for the editing pages to load, and I've gone whole hours, attempting multiple times, to no avail. Sometimes the pages just won't load. Thankfully, posting original entries is easier than editing older ones, so at least this should work. It's not that I've been too busy to post, per se, it's more that if I have to choose how I'm going to spend a 2 hour chunk of time, with a wedding, ensuing marriage, new teaching jobs, and buying & adorning of a home all bearing in on me in less than a month, there are other things that quickly take priority.

So, how's life been as in-state fiances? Well, it's been life. =D Some of it has been great. Let me list some highlights: sushi at our friends Tony & Angie Hepp's place (I rolled my own for the first time, and Ryan tried it all, even finding he liked the roll containing raw tuna the best!); Bible Study on Thursdays at Tony & Angie Taylor's (I know, two couples with the same names); a Sunday afternoon spent working together on VBS laminating, coloring & cutting; reading Harry Potter 7 out loud to each other, a chapter at a time; the weekly ritual of me bringing him lunch at work (on our 1-year anniversary, I surprised him with a scrapbook of 'Our Story' and take-out from the Kashmir, where we had our first date if you recall-- another time I managed to drop my entire soup bowl upside-down, lol); church small group every other Sunday evening; the Church Wedding Shower hosted by Jillian & Brian Preston for us last Sunday-- we sat out in Shelby Park, and ate BBQ and even gluten-free hamburger buns for me (made my day); evenings talking with Glen & Bethany (the couple I live with), and often laughing very hard at Glen; Sunday lunches with a whole motley crew around our "table" (we have to sit in the living room cause the kitchen table only seats 4), with a large percentage of the food being consumed by Rob Smythe (a favorite tag-along in my mind); watching Transformers with Lyle, Ryan's work buddy, and Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix with Ashlea, my roomie from last summer; Q'dobas and Moes meals; strolling through the mall hand-in-hand, looking for wedding bands or a queen-sized bed; the increasingly frequent spells when Ryan cracks me up and I can't stop laughing, no matter how much it hurts! (then he starts laughing at me, which makes me start up all over again) He's gotten a technique down pat called 'Seductive Eating'-- guys, never, ever try seducing ANYONE with it. I also must mention David Devasto's week-long visit last week. In his honor we had quite a number of great times, including our Dairy-Del ritual. Dave was with us that fateful day last summer when I first met Ryan, and when Ben Hedrick dared me to eat...well, you know. Anyway this year, Sarah, Karis (now a very cute 1-year old), and Ben joined Ryan, Dave, John Letoto & myself one night after VBS. Before we arrived, Bed told the servers to give me, no matter what I ordered, another bubble-gum-covered-chocolate-cone. They did, to my utter astonishment, and everyone's laughter. It was as gross as I remembered it, but this time, I just fed the coating (aka gross part) to Karis, who loved it.

So, to sum it all up... living near Ryan is wonderful, AND it also gives us opportunities to practice forgiveness and forbearance like you wouldn't believe. We're now in the same local community of faith, and part of the package is friction. I'm quite the sinner (I know you're shocked, right hehehe). We've had to learn how to relate to each other in a group all over again, had to address questions of teasing and what a united front means, and how we show respect for each other all the time. We've had to (and still are) grow in bearing with daily annoyances and grievances, which has led to lots of confession of sin and forgiveness. Glen & Bethany really have encouraged us in this; we're trying to take into account each other's family's 'culture'-- how things were handled, and what was expected in our different families growing up. We're learning that the "one-flesh" marital unity doesn't come by becoming clones of one another, but rather by each becoming more and more united to Christ, so as a part of that we're trying to be more diligent in encouraging one another towards Him. There have been some hard conversations, some real soul-searching, and even crying. But it's all been in a context that makes the overall taste so sweet that I wouldn't trade it for anything. We've discovered that we'd much rather talk than not! So this week we've tried to make time to just talk, to just be together.

Pre-marital counseling has been really good, and it's led to some good conversations. [I have much more to say about that.] This past week wedding prep has picked back up, and today actually felt a little overwhelming, especially in relation to the work I have to be doing getting ready for school next year. I'll start teaching the day after we get back from our honeymoon! So I have to be READY, and 2 weeks ahead of time, because I won't be thinking about lesson plans on the honeymoon, let me tell you that!

Well, packing must be done. We'll only be in Greenville 2 nights, and my sisters have way cuter clothes than I do anyway, so I'm not too worried. =D Like I said, I've got more to say about pre-marital counseling, and also about my own spiritual state & growth. There's lots of thoughts, as always. I just finished CS Lewis' A Grief Observed if that gives you any hint as to the direction of some of my musings of late. Also working on The Moon By Night (Madeleine L'Engle) and The Sacred Marriage, as well as Margaret Paton's Letters from the South Seas (so encouraging!).

Loved and with love,
~Christina

A Walk in Shelby Park

Shueys.

Summer.

Shelby Park.

Sarah, excited and happy and free.


Crazy Paton (we say "Sina's getting walked by the dog").

John, lagging behind with "his hobo bag"

Jenna faces...Jenna feet...

Jenna in General.

Juice cups.

Morgan half grown-up.



John's swordfighting leaps.

Baby Abigail, sleeping safe & warm like every baby should.

These are the moments I savor like summer watermelon-- slices of sweet, hot days.

My New Room

Behold my setup at 719 Gwendolyn Street, upstairs front bedroom. :)

Bethany [Moore] had it set up in a blue and brown color scheme, which suited me just fine. ...the only challenge has been integrating frames and decorations from a green-and-purple scheme. I just plain couldn't use some stuff. lol as if I needed any more frames out! I had fun rotating pics, and figuring out how best to arrange them all. The other night I stayed up WAY too late doing that. Those of you who recently saw my room back in Greenville may be able to tell which pictures are differently framed, or are new! :)

View upon entering. The windows provide a lovely light. It's quite a large room, too!

As before, the nightstand is the place for Ryan's Shrine.
(Notice the sweet card & flowers he had to welcome me home!)

The view from by the bed. The table & stools are gift from Dave & Sina [Shuey], who recently bought a bigger kitchen table, so now all 5 of them can fit around it! :)

My closet and 2nd nightstand-- another gift from Dave & Sina. I'm rather proud of the organization of my closet. Things fit rather nicely. And I just did my first load of Louisville-dirtied laundry today.

The view of Shelby Park ("the park") from my window. 5 mornings a week I start out my day running there, sometimes accompanied by Sina. See how close it is? And the church is only a block to the right. I cut through the back yard, an then through Mark & Libbie Timmons' yard, directly behind us, then cross the street (Oak St.-- where Dave & Sina live), and pass 5 houses, for a 2 minute commute to church. It's great!

Home Sweet Szrama Home

As per Ashley's request, some pictures of what may soon be the Szrama home! It's still being renovated, but the inspection went well, and the owner's agreed to do all the work we asked on it. We're excited! We spent some time last night pricing beds and wedding bands, and tomorrow will likely do the same...and pick out paint colors for our new walls... and try out towels to register for. Hehe exciting 4th plans, no?

Ryan's First Wedding

I mean his first time OFFICIATING a ceremony. (Saturday, June 30th-- same time Todd & Kara Edwards were getting married in Pennsylvania!)

Details to come... pictures for now :)

Preparation-- definitely the most challenging part. I got to help him find vows and type them up. Gave us some good ideas for our own ceremony comin' up!

Mollee (the bride), getting ready

The wedding & reception were in this Forest Museum of sorts-- beautiful! The windows gave a gorgeous view of the Indiana farmland. We're going to make a trip to the orchard nearby (Hubris Orchard). The Shueys, with Sarah & Abigail, are gonna come too if we can work it out!

Ryan praying with Mollee and Shawn. He did a wonderful job in the delivery. God answered prayer!-- he was clear, to the point, personal, and not mincing in his words of charge to the couple and the audience. He presented the Gospel (which is inherently central to any wedding, whether the couple knows it or not) very clearly and simply. Made me proud, and very thankful. :)

A new favorite of mine

(Can you see the rolling hills behind the happy couple?)

Unique Opportunities of Serving as a Wife

"The hidden side of church history has been the part played behind the scenes by Christian women. Occasionaly the work fo outstanding single women has been better known, but for those married, and whose lives have been of strategic importance to the kingdom of God, it has generally been their husband's names that have come down to posterity. The work of the men was more public, more documented, and thus more available to the writers of history. The wives, without whom eminent men would not have been what they were, were content to remain little known or remembered."

~Iain H. Murray, Intro to Margaret Paton: Letters from the South Seas

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

~God's Promise: Matthew 6:1-4

Isn't it amazing that God, who needs nothing, would be the One to notice and reward service to those who are are both least likely to thank, and most needy!? (and if small children aren't needy, I don't know who is!)

"And whatever you do, in word of deed, do everything in the Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. [...] Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the Inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." (wow!)

~More promises: Colossians 3:17 & 23-24

"...God is not so unjust as to overlook your work and the love that you showed for His sake in serving the saints, as you still do."

~Still more promises: Hebrews 6:10

"She [Jessie Inglis, missionary to the New Hebrides, late 1800s] was always kept so busy making history that she had no time to write it...She never thought of herself but as an ordinary woman doing an ordinary woman's work." --John Inglis, of his wife

"Next to the support Margaret Paton gave to her husband, her greatest service lay in the nurturing of the children which she gave to the world. The cause of seeking missionaries began in the Patons' own home, and they were honored by Christ in the calling of all their four children to the work of the Gospel. " I think this next part is quite my life goal:

"Her influence over her children was deep and permanent. There was in her nature a rare combination of saintliness and humanness, that made the Christian life very real and winsome to all with whom she came into touch. her life was, in her own words, 'a pure white-heart of love for her children.'" ~Francis H. L. Paton, of his mother

(all quotes from aforesaid Introduction)

Some principles and thought-habits I am trying to cultivate as I prepare to build by own home, because I know that "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish woman tears hers down. (Proverbs 14:1--yikes!). I'm enjoying and benefitting from Margaret Paton's example and words. She's very real-- funny at times, and always honest. What a woman! Look her up! :)

--Christina, very happy in Louisville

Home!

"When you lay me down to die/
I'll open up my eyes on skies I've never known/
In the place where I belong,/
And I'll realize His love is just another word
for Home."
~Andrew Peterson, "Lay Me Down [to Die]"

"And I think my home is just Heaven's reflection/
As long as my home's here with you."
~Michael Card, "Home"

I've left so much-- the big things: my parents, my sisters, a church where I've loved, lost and found again, the comfort of one Tia, Uncle & set of cousins just down the street, and other across town; and the less important but equally present: the home I love, the creek we played in for hours, neighbors I trust, the pediatrician who used to find "kitty-cats" in my ears during checkups, the dentist & dental hygienist that I've gotten to know despite their looking in my mouth every few months, the health-care providers who have all my records on hand, a mental road-map that seldom fails me, a bank, pharmacy, and library that have all my information stored... I don't deny that the thought of "new" automatically provokes recoil in me. BUT despite all that, Melissa heard the intense excitement in my voice as I exited I-65 onto Jackson St. "Melissa! This is going to be my exit for the next few years!" She laughed at me. :) The other night I said something to Ryan about "'til I'm home" and he stopped me- "where do you mean?" I meant Louisville, of course, but why? At first, it was because I did find a place to belong there. I have never felt more accepted and loved than I did in the brief months I spent worshipping and serving with the people of Immanuel Baptist Church. Christ is always 'Home.' But now there's another reason: Ryan.

From now until the day I die, my home will be wherever he is: just as the Church finds Her home; Her rest; Her secure refuge in Her Husband, so I look forward to building my home wherever my Love is. Ryan's love is such a wonderful, tangible reflection of the Love held for me by the Lover of my Soul. My home in his love, in his arms-- what a reminder to me of the way it really is eternally!

And oh, it's good to be home. :)

An Abandonment to Divine Providence

"Everything helps me to Him."

-Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1675-1751)

That quote captured my heart, and my heart cried out "Lord, make this my cry forever-- that I would let all things readily bring me to You!" It also came to be a wonderful theme of my trip to Nashville, as I will explain momentarily. Seems like God was arranging a nice little theme for the next 2 days of my life. Speaking further of that quote and that man, John Beevers writes: "...that is a cardinal principal of his. All things are sent and governed by God, and, however troublesome they are, they will, if accepted gladly, lead us surely and quickly toward holiness."

So my trip to Nashville, right. If you're wondering why I was going to Tennesee instead of my 'new Kentucky home,' it's because my Dad's sister Robin lives in Nashville with her family, and I figured seeing and encouraging her and her family would be worth the detour of a day. I'd gotten gas only a day before, so decided to drive straight out and just stop when I needed to, which I guessed would probably be around lunch time. (I left at 10:15) So off I went, with a marvelously encouraging sermon by Ravi Vander Laan (read an article similar to the sermon I heard) ringing in my ears. "Just how badly do you want to be like your Rabbi!?" He asked. The Spirit whispered to me that today, just like every day, I'd have the chance to become more like Him. And He definitely provided that!

Around 12, I stopped to fill up, and the nice couple in front of me at the pump said "It looks like your hood is smoking." Hmmm... I pulled up the hood, and gasped! My oil-cap had been laid on top of the radiator instead of replaced when the oil was added by my sweet Dad just before I left. Oil was all over the engine- thence the smoke- and worst of all WASN'T in the engine! I quickly added oil (I'm an expert by now) and left the hood up and chilled in the shade about half an hour so the engine could cool off. Immediately I began to think about all the 'what-if's-- what if I'd been going straight to Louisville (through the mountains for the first 2 hours), what if I'd filled up the night before and so hadn't stopped (I usually drive from G-ville to L-ville with no gas-stops), what if, what if... I could very easily have had my engine explode. As it was, nothing happened. What Mercies are hidden in near misses!

About 45 minutes later, just on the other side of Chatenooga, I felt the now-familiar shaking that comes when one loses a tire. "Not again!" I sighed as I pulled off. At least it wasn't raining this time. My right rear tire was slashed-- I either ran over something that sliced through a belt, or it was just a bum tire. I had to laugh, though. How many tires is Dad going to have to buy for me before he finishes the Tweel? How in the world I'd change this tire, especially considering I had no spare with me, and all my tools were under all my stuff in the trunk, I didn't know. So I did the sensible thing. I called my Daddy. Why did I ever think being a Daddy's Girl was such a negative thing?

"You're not gonna believe this..." I started. He was not surprised at all, lol. I think he was expecting at least one minor mishap on this trip. I was overdue for one. Well, let me just tell you that having a father who both desires and is able to care for you is WONDERFUL! He "just happened" to be at his computer, and was quickly able to pull up my location on a map, locate the nearest service station, call a towing company to get me, and pay for any repairs or parts Max'd need. I got picked up, Max got all fixed up, and we were on the road again in under an hour and a half!

While at the service-station, enjoying the air-conditioning at the hottest part of the day (otherwise I'd have been sweating and being further sun-burned in my au natural car), I grabbed the first book I could get out of my bag-- a little book from a dear friend, Jacqui. Its title forms the title of this post, and gave birth to most of this entry's forethought. I haven't finished it yet, but I'll let ya know how it goes. Immediately I was struck by the "coincidence" of me reading THIS book at THIS time, in THIS place. Divine providence indeed.

The service-station guys treated me very kindly, going out of their ways to get "the little lady's" tire replaced lickity-split, and cleaning my engine of the oil that was everywhere. One guy even drew me a diagram to tell me where a little leak in a radiator gasket was. Very cool. They seemed singularly impressed with my Dad's care for me. It actually provided me with an opportunity to be more public in my thanksgiving for my Dad-- letting them know I count it a BLESSING, God's kindness, to have a father who looks out for me. As I left, the owner called out, "You make sure you call your Daddy to tell him you're on the road again, all right?!" And I did.

"It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance..." (Rom. 2:4, paraphrase)

So many near-misses, so many instances where God kept me and even my belongings from serious harm or detriment. In this world of sin there are no guarantees except that bad things WILL happen. But Divine Providence has bound Himself by Covenant to guarantee that each turn of fate's wheel, however minute, is meant to bring the Christian nearer Himself. "In Thy presence is fullness of joy"-- God is always plotting for our JOY! (Psalm 16:11) Every one of those experiences was a chance for me to grow in trust in my Father, to see anew the way He's blessed me with the love of my family, to marvel at the precision and restraint of "calamity" He allows and to give thanks for a joyful spirit, and humor!, amidst all the setbacks. I'd much rather be thankful than worried or stressed!! Makes life much more enjoyable-- most likely because it draws me nearer to Jesus.

I listened to John Piper's sermon, "Ruth: the Best is Yet to Come" (on Ruth 4) this morning, and it was right along these lines. "God is plotting for our joy even as we bellyache at Him!" I am resolved to skip the bellyaching and go straight to the rejoicing. So remind me of that when I don't. :)

Full of joy and fully thankful,

--Christina ...two states closer to Ryan...

"The truly faithful soul accepts all things as a manifestation of God's grace, ignores itself and thinks only of what God is doing." ~J-P de C

'Prayed for Daily'

I found this card from my Mother last week, and glued it in my journal as a perfect summary of the blessings my eyes have become aware of as I packed:

1. there has never been a time when I was unloved-- cards from family, friends, even my babysitter abounded!
2. I've been priveleged with singularly good theological teaching, surrounded by it! What a blessing to have my thoughts taught so young!

Valentine's Day 2004

"Dear Christina,

You are prayed for daily and will always have your mother's love. (heart) More importantly than this is the heavenly love that's promised to you unconditionally. He has shown you great love in these past few weeks through this hard trial. What love to minister to you through so many people, songs, books and His Word. "Oh love that will not let you go!" I love you.

Mom"

What evidence of love, both hers, and His.

Full of thanksgiving and brimming with love,

--Christina

In My Father's House

My last morning in my father's house. Quite an alien feeling, to wake up to a room mostly devoid of all the things that made it familiarly "mine"-- the pictures on the wall, the bulletin board covered with snapshots, the carefully organized books, the clothes in the closet. All that remains is a pile of empty boxes/folders/mailing envelopes (evidence of my "stuff"-purges), some random things I didn't have the energy to appropriately place last night, and my overnight bag that will be stowed in the front seat next to me when I stop this afternoon at my aunt's house. My car is packed-- not exactly as full as it will go, but certainly as heavy. My Dad used his keen engineering eye to get it in the best possible way, then went to bed, leaving Jonathan (Suit) and me to realize that he didn't put any of my clothing in...so out half of it came, and we spent the next half hour maneuvering, sweating and just staring from the non-fitting-items to each other. "I assume you have a plan for that?" I asked him at one point as he heave-hoed. "Not really...." he answered. So we stared some more. Anyway we got it good enough. "Don't get in a car wreck" was his friendly advice to me. Yeah. As if I'd want to deal with ALL my stuff ALL over someplace. So I'll be driving safely. :)

So many thoughts as I've packed and sorted. A lot about the freedom that comes from SIMPLE living-- ixnay on the ack-ratingpay from here on out! ... a lot about how blessed I've been to be so surrounded by good teaching and by love fro my entire life. A lot about how weird a little kid I was. :) Creative, but also SUPER-attentive to detail, and slightly addicted to list-making.

I've left before, spent months or even years away from living under this roof. I've called all three bedrooms in this house "mine" at some point or another, and for a while got just the couch over breaks. But this morning is different somehow. I guess it's the knowledge that I won't be coming back-- not as Christina Maria Thompson, anyway. Oh dear, let's hope there are no tears today. I'm trying to save my breakdown for at least another few days. It's time for this arrow to be shot from the quiver. My parents have polished, straightened and sharpened it- me- for the past 21 years. They trust, and expect it to fly straight and true. May I make them proud!

The room grows brighter. It's getting lighter outside. Time keeps passing. I want to leave a clean room for my mama, which is why I'm up early. So I'll go to it then!

...packing..

"Oh, it's hard to imagine the freedom we find
from the things that we leave behind."

--Michael Card

Trying to get to that point... it's hard to know what's junk, what's worth carting around, what's good enough to give away. Some things- letters, work, pieces of mail, the wacked-out stories I wrote as a kid- part of me wants to save so that Ryan can see them and know that part of my history. We are made up of so many memories, so many pieces. Maybe I think he deserves fair warning. :)

I've hit on a partial solution of stapling/gluing/somehow affixing those momentos into the chronologically appropriate journal. Oh, yes. There are now 40 of them, not including the notebooks full of sermon notes, poetry, and 'collects'! I am nothing if not a chronicler!

Beach Vacation

Well, I've been non- blogging for a while now. I claim the 'I was on vacation' excuse for last week. My family and I went to the beach (my favorite vacation spot every year. except for that time my Dad & I went to Oxford-- that was my favorite that year). It was a sunny, scrapbookin', Boggle-playin' adventure in North Myrtle.

Here's a picture from the week... we're all nice and golden crispy. :) Ok. Back to wedding stuff and packing!! 66 days...

~ Christina

wedding countdown...

75 days to go!!!!

WOOOOHOOOO!!!


...nothing real special about 75... it just seems rather small! :)

Final Reflection

As yesterday was my last day at Sue Cleveland, I thought it would be appropriate to post my final entry from my teaching journal. Some of you will recognize several of these points from my previous "Things Learned" list. I've been keeping it going, and here it is in final form:

Things I've learned through student teaching:
- children will lick any envelope given them.
- two excellent composers of children's choral music: Andy Beck, Linda Spaveck
- all solemn men in paintings are presidents. Most likely George Washington.
- glue guns and Post-it Notes are your friends
- the floors in primary classrooms are tile for a reason: summed up in one word, "moppable"
- the inventor of the laminating machine is worthy of a Nobel Prize
- there's a such thing as a task analysis, and consequences when you forget it
- they're always watching. Always.
- they always copy you. Especially when you hope they WEREN'T watching
- love the secretary and janitor-- they are very important Friends to have.
- your first name is "Miss"
- Squidward plays the clarinet
- explosions and natural disasters are the best motivators for boys starting in 4th grade. maybe before...
- children find routine comforting: if you don't give them a routine, they'll make one, even if it's something as simple as saying "bringit around town!" every time they warm up their bodies for singing.
- children are people. Small, yes. Incomplete? no. They have feelings, backgrounds, opinions, likes, dislikes, fears and hopes just like anybody else.
- kids tune out talking. but they're ALWAYS watching (see previous point).
- "ta ta ti-ti ta" is a universally shushing rhythm
- anything you say in class can and will be used against you :)
- you have the right to remain silent.
- laughing is infectious, and SO much fun
- just like everyone else, kids want to know 1) that you know what you're talking about and 2)that you care about who you're talking to
- no one likes to be shouted at
- teachers ask their kids for a lot of humility and teachability. I need to acknowledge that I'm asking them of them, and model both traits.
- tell a kid a story, you've got his attention; listen to HIS story, you've got a friend for life
- (the core belief of our school's Multi-Age classes:) "Tell me…I forget, Show me…I remember, Involve me…I understand!"
- they say teaching never pays enough, but they also say that no amount of money could buy the influence and reward a teacher gets. I've seen that both can be true... but more than either, I've learned this: a teacher must work for a Greater "well done, good and faithful servant." The kids won't know, can't know how much they should appreciate, and sometimes the burden will be too great to carry and the teacher will fall. Without a Higher Judge, there will be no room for grace, and a huge thirst for thanks that could never be satisfied. I'm aiming for that Greater Smile, and choosing to see it in the face of every student I have.

It's so me...

My fiancé sent me this, saying it reminded him of me... HAH.

Those of you who knew me freshman year might recall the little music video my roommate and I produced... to a certain song... But I would never analyse a pop song as I heard it, certainly not out loud.

Ok... maybe I would on occasion.

Ok... maybe I do on occasion.

Ok... maybe I should just take out the maybe and occasion.

Ok... I'm a music major, what do you expect!?

Pop songs are musically boring, anyway. All those I-vi-IV-V progressions...

My beloved knows me well. That's reason to grin. =D

Professional Discouragement

The past two days have been rough. I think part of it is that both Robin & I are going long stretches of time without seeing our significant others. :) I'm slightly used to it by now (not that I like it any better), but she isn't. Today I think I succeeded in finally cheering her up a little. :) I've been "counting down the days." The kids always wonder why there's a giant star on May 18th on Miss Thompson's wall calandar...

Day 43, Tuesday May 8th:
It's wonderful to once again watch Robin teach. I learn so much just watching her, especially now that I've had some experiences of my own. Today was the start of a new instructional week, and I dropped 1st and 2nd grades. [...]

As a teacher, I'm personally discouraged. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse instead of better and better. I'm just so completely tired, all the time, and I think it's affecting my teaching. I honestly don't think it's that I'm not preparing or caring...it's like I can't remember everything when I get in front of the kids all of a sudden. Mentally I sort of freeze. And even getting ready takes me twice as long. Then I have to go back and correct or re-do half of it anyway because in my fatigue I did it wrong the first time. I can't keep functioning much longer on this little rest. I almost wonder if it would be better for the kids for me to just go to bed, and make up whatever we're doing the next day, when I can actually process up to speed. I know I can't do that, and I certainly won't. I think the worst is passed-- everything is done for this week, and next week I'll just be doing K5, and that lesson's already planned. It's so hard to plan lessons, teach all day, get lessons ready, and attend school-related functions, especially when I have to work two other jobs on the weekends and fulfill numerous responsibilities. It's letting me know three things: that in my first years as a teacher under no circumstances do I want to teach full-time and do ANYTHING else; that since the teaching internship consumes the energy of any full-time job, it should be PAID as such; and that planning lesson units (if no more than skeletal outlines) while NOT teaching (summer!) will relieve so much pressure!!

Maybe I'm just being harder on myself as I go, I don't know. I want to do right by these kids, by Robin, and by Furman. ...at least there's only two more weeks to go.

Mystified

Again from my journal:

Day 41, Friday May 4th:
The variation in the responses of different children to the same "system" is remarkable to me. One student got a low grade on his assignment, largely through lack of effort, and spent today's class working as hard as he could. Not only did he make up last week's assignment, he also did well on today's and was able to receive his reward-- time on the laptops (doing more work- they just didn't know that's what it was). Another student likewise received a poor grade, but spent the entire class period walking around looking at other people's grades, moping when his was lower than theirs, and doing absolutely nothing productive. Was the difference simply the personality of the child, or maybe each's environment? If one comes from a home with consistant consequences, with appropriate praise and appropriate disapproval, but one does not, that might make the difference. I know that the first student understood that his grade was fair. The other one should have known that, but I wonder if he somehow missed that. I know I would find it quite demoralizing to have to work under circumstances I deemed to be unfair. ...

Most mystifying of all to me were the students who did really well on last week's assignment, yet put forth NO effort to similarly succeed this time. One boy, "Josh" got a perfect score on last week's assignment, but spent THIS class period lying face down on the floor. I answered his questions as patiently as I could (which was difficult!), and after class Robin told me she'd also worked with him twice. What had been the problem? Looking at what he had written, and after talking to him, I think he just didn't want to take the time to erase the first things he'd written (which he then realized were incorrect), and he didn't want to wait his turn to get his work checked by me. It shocked me a little that any student would be so lazy, to his own detriment! I would never have thought of such an attitude at his age! But... all in all the lessons went well today. I love it that we get them to work really hard for a reward of more work! And they love it! :)

Grace in Teaching

From my teaching journal. I joke about how I never knew God's grace often resembled a steaming dark liquid until I started teaching. :)

Day 40, Thursday May 3rd:

Today was proof to me that learning, or even successful lesson-flow, is NOT dependant on how well I, the teacher, feel coming into it. I woke up this morning absolutely exausted, not quite sure how I was going to make it through the day on zero energy, much less teach all day! Maybe it was the cup of coffee, maybe it was just grace, but lessons went great. I think I hit on a good way to maximize the time in our class, minimize my talking, let the kids hear their compositions, allow them to revise their first drafts, and force them to compose! The laptops became a motivating tool-- never knew what a handy trick it was to turn an ends into a means! I also liked how this showed the students who didn't take the first assignment (or me) seriously that I DO mean business: the standards of expectations are high, and that their choice to do less than their best had very natural consequences. They were the ones who had to spend the whole class revising rather than going straight to a laptop. But it also gave them a second chance, one they took gladly. Robin gave me high praise on the way I ran the class, with students working on their revision, then coming up to me at my desk to check off their work (or more often, to guide further correction), and then moving to the laptops where they had a "map" (written instructions). It was a bit chaotic-sounding, with kids queuing by my desk, but it was worth it. "Not every class can be that way, but for composing, it really NEEDS to be that way" she said. I think it was learning noise :)... the students seemed to benefit from the individual "conference time" they got when they were up at my desk. I don't know how I would have done it if Robin hadn't been there to monitor those at the computers, though! I said that to her, and she said I'd have recruited some of the students to help. Likely I wouldn't have allowed as much noise, either. Anyway I enjoyed teaching despite my bleak outlook on life in general when I rolled out of bed this morning.