Sunday, March 27, 2011

Springtime Weaning

This blog post is solely meant to reflect my musings, and prompt your own.  I'm going to put an idea out there that is quickly labeled "weird" by many Americans, but it's one I've thought of a lot lately.  That subject is breast-feeding past the age of 1.

We all know that breast milk is the best thing for babies.  Whether or not we truly deep-down believe that can be seen by how quick we are to choose formula over breast-milk or how hard we try to nurse.  But even moms who elect to go straight to the bottle "know" that it isn't quite as good as breast milk, though thanks to research we are able to give babies a close second (especially if we use organic products or make our own formulas based on real milks).  That said, please don't feel guilt or judgment coming at you as you read if you didn't breast feed or didn't keep it up as long as you wish, especially if you were literally unable to do so. This is my thinking in "ideal world-land."   Ok, so, in the US & Canada, it's a "given" that breast-feeding is great.  Most moms try to do it at least 6 weeks, and even working moms usually try to keep it up (thanks to another handy invention; the pump!) for 6 months.  The official World Health Organization recommendation is:
"Colostrum, the yellowish, sticky breast milk produced at the end of pregnancy, is recommended by WHO as the perfect food for the newborn, and feeding should be initiated within the first hour after birth.  Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond."
I think most American moms feel like if they've nursed to one year of age, they're champs, and it's time to move on to cow's milk.  While both are true (especially the being champs part), why do we feel like one year is THE end-mark for weaning?  My pediatrician's office asked me matter-of-factly at Éowyn's one-year check up how weaning was going, and told me I could start replacing one feeding per week with a sippy cup of whole milk.  When I told them, yes, I had introduced whole cow's milk but that I hadn't decreased nursing yet, the nurse blinked at me in shock, then assured me that yes, that was totally fine.  Nursing past one year old just isn't much done around here.

Why, though?  The newest article "Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk" from the AAP (an organization that is far from non-interventionist) contains these statements:
  • Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother, especially in delaying return of fertility (thereby promoting optimal intervals between births).
  • There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.
Around the world weaning often takes place much later.  (See an interesting article here.)  Why do we Westerners put a one-year cap on nursing our babies?  Is it just because everyone else does it?  Is it because we get fed up with nursing?  Once it becomes habit, I think it's absolutely precious.  E was a tough nut to nurse the first 5 months of her life, what with all the screaming and refusing to nurse and the having to stand, sway, pat and walk the entire feedings... but just last week I was thanking the Lord for the sweet blessing it is now.  There is nothing sweeter than a contented baby snuggled at his mother's breast.  It's often the only time my active baby will sit still and let me snuggle and rock her, and I just love how she looks up at me and strokes my face or puts her hand up to my mouth to be kissed.

I've heard many people say "as soon as they can ask for it, I think they're too old for it."  Éowyn learned to sign "milk" VERY early, around 8 months or so.  Of course, she still couldn't walk or chew much food, or even drink whole milk yet-- probably not a good move to base weaning on the ability to ask for milk.  I think our culture is so much more comfortable in seeing breasts as sexually attractive objects than as what they are just as much intended to be:  functional suppliers of milk for our children.  Maybe that's why we feel uncomfortable with children seeing and feeding from them once they are cognitively aware-- we feel like that's weird, maybe even a bit sick.  Please know that it ISN'T.  One of woman's main roles is a nurturer, literally and figuratively.  There's a reason Adam named his wife "Eve, because she was the mother of all the living."  ("Eve" sounds like the Hebrew for life-giver and resembles the word for living).

But I don't want to to put some other arbitrary cap on nursing, to wonder if we shouldn't "make two the new one." Let's not try to nurse on to 24 months feel guilty if we don't, or weird if we go beyond.  Nor am I a staunch advocate of child-led weaning; in my opinion, breast-feeding is for very young children, not for those able to get a full diet from other sources.  You won't catch me breast-feeding Éowyn through kindergarten, no way.  Nor do I desire to try and nurse her AND grow a second child should the Lord bless us with another one; one parasite at a time, please! :)

I do have one thought, though.  I can't say how many times I've been thankful for breast-feeding through this winter.  Example:  Éowyn had a miserable January, as a cold settled in her sinuses, then both ears, and probably was inflaming her throat too. Add four incoming molars and an itchy, painful allergic reaction to penicillin, and neither of us was getting much sleep.  Her food intake dwindled to one or two bites per meal at most.  Instead, she asked to nurse a lot, even sleeping by me for one precious night, nursing herself into a merciful deep sleep (the first either of us got in a week).  I took her to the doctor's three times in as many weeks, and was absolutely shocked when instead of showing the wasting most toddlers do during illnesses, she'd gained a pound through her ordeal!  The nurse's explanation; "breast-milk is very caloric."  I can't imagine what I would have done had I not been still nursing.  Nothing else soothed her ears and throat, and cow's milk isn't the best during upper-respiratory infections, so I guess I'd have been pushing water and juice and watching her use all her stored fat up to fight off infection. 

I've been thinking; the winter just seems like a bad time to wean.  It's cold; breast-milk is warm, and snuggles are welcome.  It's sickness-season, especially for exploring toddlers and their tired mamas; breast-milk provides immunities, is often the only thing a sick child wants to eat (especially if ears & throats are sore) and is a fuss-free snack (almost a meal!) when it's Mom who isn't feeling so hot.  The summer, by contrast, seems like a much more natural time to wean:  it's hot out, children want cool drinks rather than warm milk, and no one wants more body heat.  I propose the idea of seasonal weaning.  What if we got in our heads to nurse through the winter instead of "to one year?"  I'm hoping that Éowyn will take the lead in weaning once it gets warmer, when there are interesting things to do outside and all around!  (So far, we've cut out all night feedings and her post-nap afternoon "snack," but that's been hard enough.  This child loves her "miwc.")

One more thought on the convenience of nursing into toddler-hood:  The other day we were out running errands and, as so often happens, we got delayed and held up past the little one's dinner time. Being the great mom that I am, I had no snacks with me in the store... except, oh wait... we found a quiet discreet corner, and five minutes later Eowyn was satisfied.  No prep, no clean up, no mess.  Baby happy, Mommy happy.  Everybody happy!

One last quote from Katherine A. Dettwyler, a woman whose research is particularly on this subject (from the article linked to above):
In terms of the benefits of extended breastfeeding, there have been a number of studies comparing breastfed and bottlefed babies in terms of the frequency of various diseases, and also IQ achievement. In every case, the breastfed babies had lower risk of disease and higher IQs than the bottle-fed babies. In those studies that divided breastfed babies into categories based on length of breastfeeding, the babies breastfed the longest did better in terms of both lower disease and higher IQ. [...] This has been shown for gastrointestinal illness, upper respiratory illness, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, heart disease, and on and on and on. Likewise, the babies nursed the longest scored the highest on the IQ tests. [...]  Presumably, the benefits continue to accrue, as your body doesn't *know* that the baby has bad a birth day and suddenly start producing nutritionally and immunologically worthless milk.

13 comments:

ju.vanderw said...

All I have to say is - I'm jealous! I'm fiercely jealous of all women with any amount of breastmilk... In all seriousness though, I think everybody has a different "right"s. But the idea of nursing through the winter is something I've never heard of and it's a good one.

Eowyn's Heir said...

Thanks, Ju! Let me just say how proud I was of you-- and impressed-- at the effort you went to to nurse Alaise as long as you did! Some breast milk is always better than none, and formula + breast milk is better than having a hungry baby! You were obviously out for her good despite a lot of cost to yourself. Has it been any better with Kai?

I originally had a whole paragraph in this post directed to moms who couldn't breast-feed or had difficulty with it, but I took it out because it wasn't really the point of the post... maybe I'll put it back in now, though! :)

Jenny said...

Good thoughts! I've been thinking about weaning since my man-child is close to a year, but I've thought I don't really want to-- because I like nursing, (and I like the idea of burning a serious amount of calories while sitting still and snuggling my baby...) and I've thought of you often, knowing you're still nursing Eowyn, and she's 18 months! I have no plans to stop anytime soon, even though his 1st birthday is just over a month away...

Patty said...

I definitely agree with you that 12 months should not be a magic weaning age. And I think there is definitely some validity to your "nurse through the winter" argument. My little one hasn't gotten nearly as sick (or sick as often) as most of the other babies I know around here over the winter months, and I think that is due in large part to our continued breastfeeding. We are still nursing 3-4 times a day at 14 months. My only other comment is that I wouldn't necessarily rule out the idea of nursing while pregnant. I am still nursing Anna Kate and I am 11 weeks pregnant. I do plan to wean her before the baby's born, but it is still possible to nurse while pregnant (and perfectly safe according to my OB/GYN)! Thanks for the post!

Leslie said...

I haven't had a real weaning "plan" for either of my boys and it has been great! I stopped nursing Jameson when my morning sickness kicked in during Isaac's pregnancy... I just noticed that mornings I nursed were much harder than the non-nursing mornings... I have nursed Isaac (very often) up until just this past week or so, trying to space feedings so that I can actually attend some of the homeschooling conference, and I'm sorry to say that he has still been sick what seems like every other week. So far it has been merely colds, but they're colds that no one else in the family is catching so I scratch my head a bit about that. He even stays with me during church. I also think he has had more ear troubles than Jameson ever did... Anyways, I don't nurse him with the main goal being immunity from the common cold... I really enjoy nursing! Both of the boys went through what some cal the "monkey" stage, where they would try to be all over the place, barely sitting still for a full feeding, etc. But once we got through it, they were/are such sweet toddler nursers. Don't really know where I'm going with this, I guess just that I think no plan is the best plan for weaning, unless circumstances require otherwise! :)

Kristen said...

I've been thinking about weaning alot lately as Hannah will be a year in 6 days :( At times it makes me sad to think about not having that time with her any more and at times I think, "Man, it sure would be nice if Josh could get up with her at 5:30 and get her a cup of milk..." Anyway, I don't know what I'll do yet...

Eowyn's Heir said...

@ Kristen- I'm there with ya, but then I wonder if it actually gets any easier once weaning happens. I guess husbands can help a bit more (Ryan already does comfort her if she wakes up at night since she doesn't need to nurse then). But they'll still be babies, and I hear toddlers can be just as sleep-depriving, between potty-training, falling out of bed, sleep walking and getting sick... You've got an older baby; did it get easier with weaning?
@ Patty- I know some moms nurse through pregnancy and on to tandem nurse, and I sure don't diss that! I was pretty sick and tender throughout the first 2 trimesters, and am pretty sure nursing thru that would be agony. One of the reasons I wanted to space our kids further apart was actually to ensure that I could nurse the first baby a good long time without the risk of my body weaning her early, etc. I want to make sure I am able to rebuild a good reserve stash of nutrients before baby #2 starts taking it all out of me (especially if I can't get much IN). If I'd gotten pregnant when she was younger though, I think I'd have toughed it out for her sake, if my body let me... :)

Kristen said...

As for getting easier with weaning - Abbey was ready to wean. She was perfectly fine without nursing anymore. However, she was also a GREAT sleeper. She has fallen out of bed a couple of times and we are just now... starting night-time potty training so I know that will be sleep-depriving :) However, I didn't really feel sleep-deprived with her even before I weaned her (she was sleeping through the night from the time she was about 6 wks old). We now know that part of the reason she didn't nurse as much/long and slept so much more was because she had a heart problem. Anyway, I'm getting off on a tangent. Hannah, on the other hand, is a TERRIBLE sleeper :) And, Josh doesn't hear her when she wakes up so if I want him to comfort her in the middle of the night, I have to ask him to get up and by that point, I'm already awake anyway so I might as well do it myself :) Anyway, so all that to say, you are probably right, weaning will not make that big of a difference w/Hannah. She will still wake up and need comforting and reassurance and that's okay because she will only be little for such a short time :)

Lynn said...

Like it. We were thinking of weaning JM off the bottle (homemade formula) but he seems to just need it longer. And he hasn't been sick even when the others have. (not breastmilk, I know, but healthy, warm, and comforting.) seems like a reasonable thought to get through a winter season!

ddavis said...

great idea! I had planned to do this with Elliot - his birthday is in January and I thought I might as well go ahead and keep it up a few extra months until cold & flu season is over. I started having production problems though and wasn't able to make it as long as planned. :( Hope to try again with Cole since he has a winter birthday as well. It just makes sense with all the immunity benefits breast milk offers

ddavis said...

can I just add that your blog is my favorite!? (and it would be even if I didn't know you personally!) I love all the encouraging mommy talk, health and food posts, and especially the way you think/write with everything filtered through a Biblical lens. Thanks for all the great practical ideas and encouragement to Godliness in all areas of womanhood!

Jin Gill said...

I like the idea of nursing through the winter and weaning at springtime. Your reasoning makes a lot of sense. (You're so smart!)

Now some thoughts...

I nursed E1 for 13 months, but it was tough. (nipple shield for months, thrush, teeth (ouch), mastitis, then having to nurse in all sorts of weird positions so that his teeth wouldn't scrape me & give me open cuts anymore). I wanted to quit, but stuck it through especially since he thrived on my BM. (Loved his chubby thighs, cheeks, ... well, chubby everything)

On the other hand...

I nursed E2 exclusively for 12 months, but don't feel like he's been thriving on it. My BM was noticeably fattier with E1, but E2 has had trouble gaining weight. I've heard that a mother's milk is fattier when she has a preemie so that the baby will catch up more quickly. (Isn't God's design awesome?) But E2 is very tiny (4-5th percentile). So, I have to say that not all BM is highly caloric. (Some moms produce lots of foremilk and others produce lots of hindmilk). Now that I have him mostly on whole cow's milk (I only nurse him 2x a day now), I've noticed that he's gaining weight. So, even though my BM is giving him immunities & all that, what if it's not giving him enough calories to gain weight properly? I don't know. I would hate it if my BM were depriving him of the nutrients/calories he needs to grow to his full potential (physically).

Also, you said: "in my opinion, breast-feeding is for very young children, not for those able to get a full diet from other sources. You won't catch me breast-feeding Éowyn through kindergarten, no way. " But once a 1-year old can switch to cow's milk, isn't their full diet from other sources? Isn't that why pediatricians expect us to wean our babies at 1 yo because they can get all their nutrients from real food? What's the difference between the diet of a 2-year old versus a 5-year old? Just wondering...

Eowyn's Heir said...

@ Denise- thank you for your encouragement!! I'm so glad that this little blog is helpful to you! Praise the Lord!

@Jin- You bring up a really good point about breast milk not all being the same. It sure isn't standard or uniform, not even in the same woman. I know in cattle, milk-fats, caloric factors etc., varies by breed (ask Steve O'Bryan at church and he'll tell you he can taste the difference between Jersey milk & Holstein milk). It's probably the same for women (haha, not that we're cows... =D). I agree with what's on the Weston A Price site regarding supplementing when needed and having no qualms about it!

As far as the difference between a 5-year old & a 1-year old, I think there are significant differences in what they can & can't eat. For one thing, a lot of one-year olds still don't have the ability to grind & chew (they may not have any molars yet). Many experts don't even recommend introducing grains until children are closer to 2, and some foods are just harder on the digestive tracts of some kids (like being intolerant of eggs or peanuts or berries as a young toddler). That's usually all grown out of by 2 or 3. Of course I wouldn't condemn any mom who wanted to nurse their children longer, as long as it didn't harm their other children, their marriages or some other ill... I give them big kudos!! :)