Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Sign Me Up to Go Down Swinging

I had this string of realization as I ran through a vibrantly autumnal local park.  I like to be efficient.  Put forth the minimum effort required to achieve desired goal.  Then, more resources are available for doing more.

Hmmm... spiritually, that bites me.  Well, it bites me when I'm trying to move too quickly and I ram into corners and low gates -ow.  This is totally against the heroic maxim "If I must die, I will at least take as many foul enemies with me as I can!"  My heart would rather say "if I'm going to die anyway, what's the use avoiding it a bit?  Sounds useless and tiring-- not to mention messy."  Go down swinging, why?

Right now, I'm in hermit mode:  don't want to talk, think, or make the spiritual/mental effort to deal with certain things.  I'm sad, hurt, ashamed, struggling to trust.  I tell myself, "I don't have the energy to fight-- what's the point, anyway?  If I'm just going to lapse back into this rut, may as well plod along in it, right?"

Lord, please give me a determination, the resolve to at least "go down swinging."  

It's what the Ents did.  And Frodo, and Sam.
"Of course, it is likely enough, my friends," he said slowly, "likely enough that we are going to our doom: the last march of the Ents. But if we stayed at home and did nothing, doom would find us anyway, sooner or later. That thought has long been growing in our hearts; and that is why we are marching now. It was not a hasty resolve. Now at least the last march of the Ents may be worth a song. Aye," he sighed, "we may help the other peoples before we pass away." (The Two Towers, J.R.R. Tolkien)
It's what Dumbledore explained to Harry once:  
"It is important to fight, and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay, though never quite eradicated." [not eradicated by human strength, in this Age, he means] (Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince-- aka HP 6) ~JK Rowling
Oh for such a high view of Truth & Beauty & its Creator and a low of view of ourselves that we might be glad to fight for holiness, with every bit of strength we- I- have.  Yes, even our last breath-- my last breath.

Most inefficient.

But most worthwhile, I think.

1 comment:

blythe said...

Keep fighting! Love you!