Letter to Liam, age 3

My dear little man, William—

You have been 3 for four whole months now… every one of those months I have meant to sit down and write you—something to help you know your own three-year-old self later one; something for me to read and remember these precious days.  Daddy and I agree that this age is so much fun; YOU are so much fun.  You giggle and are amazed by everything.  You make us laugh so much.  You are sweet, thoughtful, empathetic and caring.  You love to kiss and hug your baby brother, having dubbed him “Chubby” and giving me a play-by-play of his well-being if I have to leave the room.  Once I came in to find you just watching him, saying “I’m your big brother (“brozzer”); that’s why I’m watching over you.”  You’ve never resented him or shown anything but affection towards him.  I can’t wait until the two of you are fast friends, just like you and Eowyn already are.

If you are unkind and I explain to you how the other person was affected, even if at first you shout that you want them to be sad or that you like being mean (and yes, you do say those kinds of things), without fail, when you’ve calmed down, you will come to me or your dad and very sincerely apologize, and show that you are very sad that you hurt someone else.  You love to hug us and your little arms around my neck is one of my favorite feelings.  After naps –you still take a good 1.5-2 hour afternoon nap every day—you are especially snuggly.  I love the smell of your curly head, slightly damp from sleep. Today you lay your head down on Daddy’s shoulder completely unprompted, and he just melted.  You have our hearts, big boy. 

You are a sensitive little soul, correction often bringing you to cross your arms, drop your head and the whispered words “I’m embarrassed” followed by tears.  Or just tears.  Lately you’ve been crying a lot.  The phrase “threenager” applies very aptly.  I might ask you to do something very routine—come to dinner, or clean toys up in preparation for bedtime—and the response will be incredibly dramatic.  Suddenly, you’re on the floor screaming, or you’ve thrown your hands up and are shrieking “I HATE DAT!!” or are wailing that you weren’t done playing… as if eating and sleeping were totally unexpected, unreasonable events.  Liam, you are a small person of very big passions.

Bedtime continues to be our most difficult time.  You (and your sister) tend to pop out of bed repeatedly.  You usually come out quietly, crawling into my lap saying “Mommy, I just need some love” or “I just want you.”  It’s very hard to resist those hugs.  I usually snuggle you for a while and send you back to bed.  Othertimes there is great weeping and gnashing of teeth... on all sides.  Often at bedtime you’ll ask me to “stay with me just one more minute?” and I usually do.  I have to take off my glasses and you put your arm around me. You tell me, after about a minute “ok, Mommy, you can go now.”  You want me to say the Aaronic blessing over you, and sometimes will try and say it in turn to Patrick.  So sweet.

You have a keen little mind, memorizing songs and spoken words very well.  You listened to The Big Picture Story Bible on CD as you went to sleep for several weeks, and often will quote passages of Scripture at the most hilarious of moments.  Once, while you were washing your hands alone, I heard you intone in a deep voice “Go! Wash in the Pool of Siloam!”  Yesterday you remarked that only Cesar Augustus was the king of the world—not your sister.  Another time you used “Do not make My Father’s house a house of trade!” in an argument with her… we aren’t sure how you thought it applied but it definitely had us laughing behind closed doors. 

Your imagination is amazing.  You often delve into a world all your own, complex and usually heroic.  You jump off our steps wearing goggles and begin flailing, waving a block and shouting.  In moments you are on your belly, groaning with faux exertion as you crawl along.  When I ask what you are doing, you explain very calmly that you dove into the water to fight a shark with your sword, because it was trying to eat your baby, and you will kill the shark even though it bit your leg off, and the doctor will put your leg back on.  Then you’ll be back in your play.  Your imagination always demands full-body involvement… It’s always detailed, extremely energetic, and often quite violent.  You love to be a superhero (usually Superman flying around with sound effects), Mike the Knight, a swimmer or occasionally a wild beast.  When you play with your sister, you like to be the “daddy” or “husband” (or her little boy).  Up until about a week ago you didn’t grasp the idea of play names, and referred to everyone by their title as you played.  We’d hear you shout out in your fake man-voice “Wife!” whenever you wanted her attention, and you responded only to “Husband.”  Lately you have assumed the name “Davis” whenever you play pretend.  Not sure where you came up with that one.

Another little quirk of late has been your obsession with what you call “up sleeves,” ie short sleeved shirts.  Despite the weather turning cooler, you insist that you do NOT want “downsleeves,” and especially that you do NOT want “downpants,” but only “upshorts.”  The past few days you have even further narrowed your tastes to Superhero-themed clothing, most especially the Superman shirt with a detachable cape you got for your birthday (from me), and a pair of navy blue knit shorts “with a tie (faux drawstring) on the front.”  You also want to wear your Batman pjs.  We finally have reached a compromise of you wearing various shirts to school or church (often “downsleeved”) or the Superman shirt with a sweater over it, and pants OVER your shorts (mainly one pair of grey fleece pants because they are “soft”).  As we leave, you assure us that “when I get home, I’m gonna change into pajamas!” and sure enough, there will be a trail of shed clothing as soon as you walk in the door.  This is quite a change from your prior attitude towards clothing; you loved making your own outfits and were always quite deliberate in how you (mis)matched them.  Well, I guess that’s the common theme:  you really do care about your clothes and shoes.  Even when you are freezing, you insist on your “upshorts”—though there have been a few times when you willingly put on something warmer with a sheepish grin!

You had your first haircut two weeks ago.  Your favorite Sunday School teacher ever, “Mrs Charla” from TCC, cut it at her studio and did an excellent job.  We kept your mop-top of crazy blond curls but tamed the back a bit so it gets less tangled and matted.  You look less like Einstein and your hair stays curly instead of becoming a blond frizzy halo.  You were so nervous about your haircut, even though you asked for one.  The day before, you asked if it would hurt, and were reassured as Eowyn and I explained to you that only the part of your hair still in your scalp could feel and your haircut wouldn’t hurt at all.  You were so stoic, self-conscious and then proud during your hair cut.  You wouldn’t hardly look up, much less talk to Mrs. Charla!! 

You love Legos and little figurines of all kinds.  I find play horses, Playmobil knights, dinosaurs, cars and dragons all over the house, often with weapons and in boxes of some kind.  You build very well and surprise me with your abilities.  However you still need your sister to assemble your Legos following the visual directions, or your Playmobil castle or train tracks which you regularly dismantle.  Yesterday you and she made a “hideout” behind our downstairs couch and you all have stocked it with all sorts of necessities.  I love to hear you play together and truly interact.  Your sister often has very specific ideas about how things should go, and you usually are content to go along with her.  You are a very sweet little brother, really you are!  Lately she has been learning (with encouragement) to let you have more input because your ideas are really good!  And… she does love you and doesn’t mind indulging you—she’ll come to me laughing behind her hand at how cute you can be.  She’s a good big sister… when she isn’t bossing you around or threatening to not let you play if you don’t do what she wants. :) When you are in trouble with Mommy or Daddy, 9 times out of 10 she will run in and hug you and comfort you.

Your typical day starts around 7:30.  Some mornings you start playing in your room, others you come crawl into our bed… often you beg to look at our phones, and we usually let you look at our pictures and home videos.  You usually are the one to let Alina (the cat) out of the laundry room.  We get up around 8 to make you breakfast, usually yogurt, sometimes eggs, or if we are running late, a banana and milk (two of your favorites!).  Mondays we go to CC, Tuesdays and Wednesdays you go to preschool in “Miss Kassie (Kathy)’s class.”  Usually there is at least one meltdown involving not wanting to eat or wear something.  After school we come home for lunch and usually Levi is with us.  You two really are best buds.  You usually play outside while I make lunch and then we eat together—I read sometimes while you eat, usually from the Bible, sometimes from picture books.  Then it’s a nap for everyone (Mommy too!) and afterwards you and Levi (and Sis sometimes) play until he’s picked up.  On Thursdays and Fridays you like to do some school with me and Eowyn.  In the late afternoons you might get to watch a show—your favorites now are Super Why, Jake & the Neverland Pirates or the WildKratts.  You also like Mike the Knight, Diego and Kipper the Dog. Daddy comes home & we eat dinner together—these are some of my favorite times as now you and Eowyn are old enough to really talk to us.  You tell Daddy about your day, and we laugh and laugh together.  Daddy reads a Bible story and a chapter or two in “Johnny Chuck”, we sing a song (your usual requests are "Jesus Draw Me Close," "Be Thou My Vision," and "Jesus, what a friend for sinners") and pray together, and then you are tucked in bed with your Bobo & Baby and a music CD on. You still have a bit of a hard time sleeping alone in your room since Eowyn moved out, but the penguin night-light pillow helps.

Spiritually you are sensitive.  You love to memorize Scripture and remind me to read our devotional every morning and to drill you on your catechism.  At night when you’re scared you ask me to “pray for Jesus!” and draw comfort from knowing that while you can’t see God, “He always sees me!” and that He is stronger than any bad guy.  You are quite aware of sin and your own part in it, yelling angrily that you KNOW you are disobeying and you WANT to run away from God.  This makes me so sad, but also I have to smile because your words are exactly what my own heart screams when I tantrum, too.  Daddy and I pray that you learn to see the Enemy’s lies in those words!  I’ve been surprised at just how much you grasp—last night I asked you a question after our Bible story, not expecting you to know the answer, but you did!  You really are listening and absorbing everything you hear.  Oh, I pray that these seeds bear good fruit!!

I love you so much, my wild-haired compassionate, passionate little hero!  You always have my heart.  I’m so glad right now you still need hugs and kisses and snuggles from me.  I love that you still want me to hold you, and that my arms are still strong enough to do it.  I love that you are spirited and funny but also tender-hearted and teachable.  You forgive easily and are a loyal friend.  

I can’t wait to watch you keep growing up into a heroic man… but it also breaks my heart to imagine you being any older than you are right now.  I love you dearly, William Christopher, and thank God every day for the blessing of being your mommy.

Love, hugs, kisses, and every good story I can tell,

                                    Mommy.

Strikes Against the MMR (measles, mumps, rubella)

For those who question the wisdom or evidence in support of the schedule currently recommended by our CDC, there are generally many layers of questions.  Many question the schedule itself; with yet another dose of flu shot being recommended this year and the HPV (human papilloma virus) vaccine recommendations being expanded again-- our vaccine schedule seems quite full to many, especially in the first two years of a child's life (at least 25 shots by age 2, a total of 36 doses).  It certainly is more aggressive than most of the rest of the world.  (google a few and notice just how widely they vary from nation to nation, both in schedule, frequency, and diseases vaccinated against.  For example, Japan's schedule- which recommends 22 doses by age 2, or the Swedish schedule- which recommends 21 doses by age 2 as opposed to ours)

Then there are many who question the one-size-fits-all approach instead of considering each child's environment, personal health history, current health, family history (genetic predisposition) and even weight/body type (there is no dosing difference between a shot given a 5 lb or 10 lb newborn, for ex).

Then we come to questions and concerns about individual vaccines.  Many families feel more comfortable with certain shots than others, and their concerns may vary from shot to shot.  Their concerns may be ethical, practical, or medical in nature.  This is why so many feel insulted and frustrated when all vaccine questions are answered with a pat "oh, don't worry about autism!  That's been disproved so many times."  Whether or not it has, that generally is not the sum and total of a parent's concern on this issue.

Lately one vaccine seems to keep popping up in my life, whether it's reading yet another online story about the "horrible measles outbreaks", or an article in a magazine in which parents are encouraged to speed up their child's doses in preparation for travel, or in an admission form for kindergarden... that vaccine is the MMR.  The issues with the MMR are myriad, and I would like to list them one at a time.  My purpose is simple: to explain clearly why parents may desire to delay or omit this vaccine.  I am not a medically degreed individual, just a parent who enjoys research, can stomach reading medical studies until her eyes start crossing, and desires to empower other parents to make their own decisions, in discussion with their own trusted care providers.  Perhaps this list will be a good starting point for a conversation with your own medical care provider.  I certainly hope so!  As always, please follow the links in order to read primary sources on your own.

1. The MMR is a live vaccine-- that's how it is classified according to its Merck packaging.  According to the CDC's Pink Book, "Live attenuated vaccines are produced by modifying a disease-producing (“wild”) virus or bacterium in a laboratory. The resulting vaccine organism retains the ability to replicate (grow) and produce immunity, but usually does not cause illness."   A few of the main concerns regarding live-virus vaccines:
- Live vaccines seem to be better at provoking more immunity (because they are more like the original disease), and they unfortunately have more side effects for the same reason. The US has therefore traded the live oral polio vaccine (OPV) for the inactivated polio vaccine (IPV).  Again quoting from the Pink Book:

"The more similar a vaccine is to the disease-causing form of the organism, the better the immune response to the vaccine.")  "When a live attenuated vaccine does cause “disease,” it is usually much milder than the natural disease and is referred to as an adverse reaction. [...] Live attenuated vaccines may cause severe or fatal reactions as a result of uncontrolled replication (growth) of the vaccine virus. [...] A live attenuated vaccine virus could theoretically revert to its original pathogenic (disease-causing) form. This is known to happen only with live (oral) polio vaccine." 

The CDC states that live-virus vaccines are only a danger to those with certain immunocompromisation (HIV etc), however many parents wonder if those listed sources of  are the only potential sources-- could family (or personal) history of autoimmune disorders indicate susceptibility?
- encephalitis (brain swelling)-- Travel of a virus into the brain is a rare complication of several viral illnesses, including measles, and is a topic of ongoing research.  Unfortunately, it seems live virus vaccines also carry this risk, as this case study illustrates and as the vaccine inserts themselves state (see all three types of encephalitis listed under "Adverse Reactions").  According to the Mayo Clinic, "Secondary encephalitis often occurs two to three weeks after the initial infection. Rarely, secondary encephalitis occurs as a complication of a live virus vaccination." this in turn can be a factor in developing autism or other learning disabilities.  Encephalitis/encephalopathy is listed as a "Table Injury," meaning it is recognized as a possible vaccine reaction that will be compensated by the federal Vaccine Injury Compensation Program.  Two children were compensated for it this earlier this year.
- live virus vaccines "shed," meaning they are able to be passed on from a recently vaccinated person.  The NVIC's report is here.

2. The MMR is a combination vaccine- by that I mean that it is not a shot for a single illness, but rather for three:  measles, mumps and rubella.  The technical name is "polyvalant." It stands to reason that giving the body three separate pathogens to identify and mount antibodies against would be more taxing than giving one at a time. One recent study (published in Human & Experimental Toxicology) analyzed reported adverse vaccine effects by number of vaccine doses given at one time, and found

"Our findings show a positive correlation between the number of vaccine doses administered and the percentage of hospitalizations and deaths reported to VAERS. In addition, younger infants were significantly more likely than older infants to be hospitalized or die after receiving vaccines."

(Interestingly this is also being discussed among vets and dog-owners, as multiple vaccines at once is linked with higher adverse reactions, especially in small dogs. Example here.)  Many parents (myself included!!) would like the option of monovalent (single dose) vaccines, but separate shots for each MMR component are no longer available in the US though they can be found in parts of Europe and in Japan.

3.  The MMR is a viral vaccine- viruses are very very very tiny, so small they can only be seen under an electron microscope.  So, when they are cultured, there is no way to isolate just the viruses.  Rather, infected tissue (of whatever animal the virus is being cultured in) is used.  While many efforts are made to purify and test the tissue for harmful substances, there is no way to test for every possible contaminant:  you can only test for what you know might be there. Viral vaccines therefore are most at risk for being contaminated.  Several examples include the contamination of several batches of past polio virus vaccines with simian virus-40, now implicated in numerous human cancers (I explored this topic more thoroughly here.), or pig virus contamination (PCV1) of the rotavirus oral vaccine in 2010.  The FDA suspended the use of the vaccine during investigation and determined that the viral contaminants would not harm humans.  However, the very fact that it was unexpectedly present in a vaccine is a bit alarming.  (Was 4 weeks really long enough to evaluate long-term effect on children?)  There have also been findings of contaminants in measles virus cultures and a monkey virus contaminant in RotaTeq.

4.  Measles is not a dangerous disease in healthy children- contrary to what our media would have us believe, measles is neither deadly nor risky in healthy children.  Sure, the typical symptoms are not exactly pleasant:  high fever, cough, runny nose, watery eyes, and a rash (according to CDC), but even when measles infection in childhood was nearly universal, with 3-4 million cases per year, the number of deaths was approximately 500/year (source: Pink Book).  That works out to a 0.017%- 0.0125% death rate, or between 1 in 6000-8000. (If you got the measles, you had about a 1 in 7000 chance of dying of it, and if you survived, you were immune for life.  No more chance of dying of measles ever again in your life.)  Just for perspective, in 2015 in the US our odds of dying in a cataclysmic storm or from heat stroke are around 1 in 6, 700.  Our odds of dying from choking on food are double that (1 in 3000), and our odds of dying in a car accident or poisoning is about 1 in 110. (All numbers from the National Safety Council.) The odds of dying of measles are about the same as dying in a tornado or hurricane... way less likely than dying of choking, and even less likely than dying from poisoning.

There have been no measles deaths in the US for the past 10 years.  In other countries, where malnutrition and poor sanitation are concerns, measles complications can be fatal (which isn't surprising, given that anything is life-threatening for a malnourished person)-- however even then, the WHO says:

All children in developing countries diagnosed with measles should receive two doses of vitamin A supplements, given 24 hours apart. This treatment restores low vitamin A levels during measles that occur even in well-nourished children and can help prevent eye damage and blindness. Vitamin A supplements have been shown to reduce the number of deaths from measles by 50%.

The virus is quite contagious due to coughing but is fairly easy to eliminate from surfaces, "rapidly inactivated by heat, sunlight, acidic pH, ether, and trypsin. It has a short survival time (less than 2 hours) in the air or on objects and surfaces." (Pink Book)

5. Mumps is not a dangerous disease in healthy children- similarly to measles, mumps was once viewed as a childhood rite of passage (my mom remembers getting it as a child).  Like measles, mumps infection confers life-long immunity.  The options for supporting the immune system through the infection with vitamins, nourishing foods, rest and herbs are myriad when the patient is a healthy child. Mumps symptoms typically are swollen glands under the throat, headache, fever, tummy ache and malaise.  Even the CDC FAQ on the disease states:

Almost all people with mumps fully recover after a few weeks. During the illness, many people feel tired and achy, have fever, and may have parotitis. Some may feel extremely ill and be unable to eat because of pain around the jaw, and some may develop serious complications. Men and adolescent boys can develop orchitis, which rarely results in sterility. Women and adolescents girls may develop oophoritis. Meningitis and loss of hearing can also occur, and in rare cases this hearing loss can be permanent. The most serious complication is encephalitis, which can lead to death or permanent disability, although rarely.

As with many "childhood" diseases, disease complications tend to increase with age; in this case, only males that have gone through puberty are at risk for potentially developing sterility.  It is worth noting that with vaccination, formerly childhood diseases such as mumps have shifted to diseases which adults or babies are more at risk for (due to moms not being able to pass on natural immunity via breast milk, and vaccine protection wearing off in some individuals).  This is concerning to many.  As far as the encephalitis risk, see point #1 which points out that this is also a danger with vaccination-- arguably more of a danger than it was with the natural disease itself.

6. Rubella is a danger to unborn babies of moms who've never had rubella- it is not a danger to healthy children, nor even to unborn babies of moms who have had rubella.  So the question is whether or not routine vaccination of children is the most effective, most risk-free way of avoiding infection of moms during pregnancy in order to avoid CRS (congenital rubella syndrome).  Would it be advantageous to allow children to contract it naturally, allowing girls to then convey that rubella protection to their own infants later on via breast milk? Vaccine immunity can wear off in many individuals, and doesn't transmit as well via breast milk. Perhaps a vaccination for girls who show no immunity to rubella by age 12 would be a better option?  (This study on CRS in women in Saudi Arabia discusses just this, mentioning that immunizing children seems to limit CRS in younger mothers while increasing risk of it in older mothers as immunity wanes, while selective vaccination does better at allowing for life-long natural immunity but doesn't lessen the incidence of rubella itself.  However this is not necessarily a bad thing, as the study describes rubella as a "mild, self-limiting viral infection.")

7. Concerns with the measles component include many indications that it compromises gut health- Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride (MD) has written extensively about this in her book Gut and Psychology Syndrome, where she describes the findings of live measles infections-- of the same strain in the vaccine-- in the guts of certain patients, causing extensive gastrointestinal problems, and surprisingly, a host of chronic and neurological conditions, among them Autism Spectrum Disorder. Read one study finding association between measles virus in the gut and developmental disorders here.  The gut dysbiosis-autism link has begun to be studied from several angles, among them the use of probiotics to reduce symptoms of autism (especially after this study in mice- here summarized by Autism Speaks).

8. Concerns with the mumps component include indications that the vaccine is ineffective and falsified data was used to obtain FDA approval- this article summarizes the current 3 court cases well.  Essentially, the concern is that Merck used one form of the attenuated mumps virus in testing in order to show 95% efficacy, when in practice that efficacy has not been true since at least 1999.

"Merck fraudulently represented and continues to falsely represent in its labeling and elsewhere that its Mumps Vaccine has an efficacy rate of 95 percent or higher. In reality, Merck knows and has taken affirmative steps to conceal -- by using improper testing techniques and falsifying test data -- that its Mumps Vaccine is, and has been since at least 1999, far less than 95 percent effective." (Read more in the court documents for Chatom v Merck. )

There is evidence supporting the idea that the mumps component is not efficacious from India as well.

9. Concerns with the rubella component include its origin in tissue taken from aborted babies, which raises ethical concerns for many, and health concerns due to the presence of foreign human DNA. - From the MMR insert:  the rubella component contains the "Wistar RA 27/3 strain of live attenuated rubella virus propagated in WI-38 human diploid lung fibroblasts." As this 1964 paper entitled ""The Limited in vitro lifetime of human diploid cells" explains, "WI-38 and WI-44 [came] from female human fetal lung. All embryos were obtained from surgical abortions and were of approximately three months’ gestation."  (And as I understand it, the numbers refer to the number of cell lines that were "tried" before this cell line worked... so many many more than two babies' bodies were used to develop just those cell lines.)  The cell lines used to culture the current rubella vaccine came from a healthy human child whose life was ended by her mother at 3 month gestation for no medical reason-- many parents who believe abortion to be murder find any connection to aborted fetal tissue abhorrent-- even those who believe in the efficacy of vaccines.  Until a new medium is found for the rubella vaccine line (as the pope has urged Christians and pro-life individuals to clamor for), many parents find it reprehensible to use the current rubella vaccine (as well as other vaccines using human tissue obtained through abortion), and as such would object to the MMR.
- Those who may find no ethical dilemma in the use of cell lines originating in aborted human babies still may have concerns about the medical consequences of the injection of any tissue containing foreign human DNA-- recently, researcher Helen Ratajczak implicated the use of human (fetal) DNA in vaccines in the rise of autoimmune diseases, among other factors (published in the Journal of Toxicology).  Here is part of her explanation of why this may be:

"Because it's human DNA and recipients are humans, [...] That DNA is incorporated into the host DNA. Now it's changed, altered [... and the] body kills it. Where is this most expressed? The neurons of the brain. Now you have [the] body killing the brain cells and it's an ongoing inflammation. It doesn't stop, it continues through the life of that individual"  (source)

Another analysis of vaccine safety data has implicated the human tissue in the varicella, Hep A and second dose of the MMR in rises in autism disorder.  (Article from the Journal of Public Health here). Levels of human tissue in vaccine samples were found to be far above the current "safe" level.  The human tissue is implicated in a rise in childhood leukemia and lymphoma as well. (quote from study author Dr. Deisher here.)

10.  Childhood infectious diseases involving fevers (such as measles, mumps and rubella) may actually be beneficial in healthy children.  
- There is evidence that infectious diseases in childhood are protective against chronic or autoimmune diseases later in life, reducing the risk of cancer, asthma & allergies.  Fevers have even been used as part of cancer treatments and infectious diseases (including measles!) were found to cure disorders of the kidney in the past.
- Other research has collaborated the "old wives tale" that fevers always come before growth spurts, perhaps because the stimulation of the immune system by disease provides a "push" that allows the child to then grow.
- The protective/positive effects seem to be due partially to the effect fever/infection-suppressants has on the gut flora of children, and partially due to the need for all aspects of the immune system to be balanced and properly developed (Th1- cell-mediated immunity which includes the use of fevers, Th2 - antibody immunity).  The same mechanism that will kill tumor cells gets trained to "clean up" by killing viruses using fevers.  Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, was reported to say:  “Give me a medicine to produce a fever and I can cure any disease.” Maybe he was on to something.

My point in summarizing these 10 "strikes" against the MMR is not to suggest that anyone who uses the MMR is stupid, uneducated, or irresponsible-- no, my goal is to explain that the reasons why SOME parents choose not to use this particular shot are varied, not one-size-fits-all.  If you hear that a friend or patient, client or family member has chosen to skip this vaccine, remember that they may not be worried about "that guy who said the mercury in the MMR causes autism."  They likely have multiple reasons for their choice, based in ethical, medical, or personal reasons!

Potential Vaccine Schedule (Selective & Delayed)

EDIT:  April 16, 2014
I continue to get a fair bit of traffic on this post, and several folks have asked me for an update. I leave this original post with all its edits as a testatment to my own "journey." It really has been a journey, one of growth & movement, not of stasis.

I've gone from "vaccines are awesome and make us so much healthier" to "wow... 40 vaccines in two years really seems intense, and giving more than one at a time kind of seems a bad idea" to "I think we'll wait until after their brain and immune systems are more developed (so after age 2)" to "vaccines are less important to health than gut health, proper nutrition- especially fat-soluble vitamins-and a strong immune system, and don't work as well as they claim to, so let's focus on the latter" (where I was as I wrote the above posts) to "vaccines have really dangerous side-effects that are far more common than ever thought- including ADD, ASD, asthma, allergies & other auto-immune failures, and wow, are they adequately safety-tested?" to "vaccines actually assault gut health and immune systems and are pushed by biased people who stand to gain from vaccine adoption, and why aren't they truly safety tested at all." As it standsI veiw vaccination is a last resort, even then it would be with MUCH precaution (vitamin loading, detoxing, and PRAYER). Most probable are the mumps & varicella vaccines before puberty if we can't find the natural diseases somewhere. (Interestingly there was a recent outbreak of mumps at Rutgers University... all of the young adults who got it were fully vaccinated.)

In your own journey, you may want to think through the role of hygiene & nutrition in the decline of "vaccine-preventable illness" as WELL AS the decline of diseases that aren't vaxed against (if vaccines are so essential, why did cholera & typhoid also decline at the same time as diptheria?); to read the vaccine failure rates (80% of kids with whooping cough are fully vaxed- the flu shot has a dismal 1% improvement rate-- vitaming D has 8%); also to read the vaccine clinical trials and assess whether you find their "control" group acceptable (never is the "control" group of children given a saline injection or a sugar pill; they are ALWAYS given another vaccine, making it very difficult to assess true effects, and the trials are seldom blind. Double-blind controlled studies are "the gold standard" in science.). You may want to research conflicts of interest in our own CDC... honestly, do we really trust our government in the health field at all? they've had fat & sugar all wrong for the past 50 years and sure look down on nutrition & herbalism! Lastly, two more books to read are Gut & Psychology Syndrome (Dr Natasha Campbell-McBride) and Healing the New Childhood Epidemics (Dr. Kenneth Bock) which come at vaccine risks from oblique angles. Both doctors are still pro-vaccine by the end of it, but they say they should only be administered to healthy kids, and by their own standards, we really don't have very many healthy kids in the US!!

Vaccines are the "sacred ow" of the medical field right now. I don't think most doctors are actually taught about vaccines-- more along the lines of "vaccines are awesome; moving on." (I have yet to meet a pediatrician who understood any of the many reasons why parents might object to our current schedule; no, it's not just about "that one crazy Wakefield guy whose autism research was totally disproved." Sigh.)

The more I read about vaccines, the more I find them to be the absolute opposite of everything we know about caring for our bodies: they are the complete antithesis of natural. We NEVER get diseases injected directly into our bloodstream; much less falsely weakened diseases paired with heavy metals, antibiotics & known poisons. Our bodies are primed to screen pathogens through several "barrier levels:" skin w its protective bacteria & acid mantle; mucous membranes with their legions of white blood cells; stomach with its HCl; gut with its probiotics galore. And then we are programmed to fight disease quite effectively, if properly supported; and once we get one disease, it's usually the last time we ever will. By contrast to vaccines, the more I study herbs, the more impressed I am that this is the route we SHOULD be pursuing; using natural elements that our bodies recognize, taken in ways that our body can use-- aroma, contact, ingestion-- NOT injection. I keep seeing studies pop up along these lines-- curcurmin in turmeric being more effective than the Pc at preventing lung disease; vitamin D from food & sun being more effective than the flu shot... Why aren't we pouring our efforts into studying THOSE! Seems like the classic egg v. egg-substitute or butter v. margarine mistake. We keep thinking we can out-do God instead of figuring out how to better use what He's already given us.  

As a final resource, I highly recommend Rachel Weaver's books "Be Your own 'Doctor'" and "Be Your Child's Pediatrician"-- she's a master herbalist/midwife. We've seen simple herbs cleanse our son of parasites we didn't even know he had (and suddenly end his constant congestion) and heal the eczema our daughter been fighting for years in a matter of 2 weeks. I've seen a friend's baby come back from the brink of death (intubated in the hospital) with the application of herbal extracts (essential oils) -- he coughed up the mucus that was choking him to death within seconds of application, and was extubated & heading home the next day. It's just amazing. God is so much smarter than us; the best we can hope to do is figure out how to use what He's made-- the glory of God to conceal a matter; the glory of man is to seek them out, as Proverbs puts it!


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Today (originally 11/16/10), I'm putting up an acceptable (to me) vaccine schedule.  As a bonus, you get to see my reading list.

Tomorrow, I'll put up an explanation for why we are thinking this way, with questions for you to consider as you make your own family vaccine schedule.

Then, on Friday, you'll be able to read (if you want) a detailed "paper" of sorts going in more technical/ medical detail.

That's the plan- short & sweet, then a "Questions to Ask" guide, then finally the full shebang which you are under NO obligation to read. :)  It's written mainly for my own peace of mind (I actually like writing papers), but our family doctor will be getting a copy, and I *might* try to do more with it if I think it's good enough.  EDIT:  this became my 3-part series on Keeper of the Home.  I have uploaded the full Q & As on chicken-pox & polio, and abbreviated ones for all the possible shots.

So, without further ado, here is it is: (DTaP 4 doses, Pc 2 doses, Hib 1 dose):

12 mos--DTaP Dose 1 (can provide partial immunity against diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough/pertussis)
15 mos--  Pc Dose 1 (can provide partial immunity against meningitis)
18 mos-- Hib sole dose (can provide partial immunity against meningitis)- no further doses needed if given after/at age 15 mos.
2 yrs- Pc Dose 2- no further doses needed if first dose given at/after age 12 mos.
3 yrs- DTaP Dose 3
4 years- DTaP Dose 4 (no further doses needed if given at/after age 4)

10 years- MMR & varicella vaccines, separated by at least 6 mos, only IF our kids don't get chicken pox (varicella), and rubella (German measles) naturally.  We're hoping to catch the live versions, so if you have a kid down with any of those, invite us over!! :)

(We do not plan on getting flu, Hep B or A, rotavirus, HPV or IPV vaccines.)

**Edit September 2011- because of sickness, we have held off on several vaccines and will be even more delayed; I'd rather not further tax my daughter's immune system when it is already fighting off a virus, even if it's "just a little cold."  I am also seriously considering completely skipping the DTaP completely with our next child(ren), due to the danger & relative uselessness (if the current epidemic is any indication) of the pertussis components  (don't really care so much either way about the diptheria elements).  However, because tetanus is a real danger and there are no vaccines available before age 2, I am making myself aware of which hospitals/treatment centers have TIG (tetanus immune globulin) on hand in the event of an accident before my children are old enough to get the single tetanus vax.  Proper wound cleaning & care is the best defense against tetanus... and keeping an eye on my baby while at the park.

Reading list:
The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child (Sears Parenting Library)-by Bob Sears (though he has an alternative schedule, he is fundamentally FOR vaccines)
Vaccinated: One Man's Quest to Defeat the World's Deadliest Diseases- by Paul Offit (essentially a biography of the man who made many of the vaccines still used today- gives a lot of insights into his world view, motives & motivations)
Vaccines: What Every Parent Should Know-Paul Offit & Louis M. Bell (try not to let its oversimplified tone insult your intelligence so much that you throw it away after one chapter)
CDC Vaccine Guide

Cautionary:
The Vaccine Guide: Risks and Benefits for Children and Adults- by Randall Neustaedter
The Virus and the Vaccine: Contaminated Vaccine, Deadly Cancers, and Government Neglect- by Debbie Bookchin & Jim Schumacher
Make an Informed Vaccine Decision for the Health of Your Child: A Parent's Guide to Childhood Shots- by Mayer Eisenstein
"A User-Friendly Vaccination Schedule" by Donald W. Miller, Jr.
"The Danger of Excessive Vaccination During Brain Development" by Russel L. Blaylock
"The Challenge to Mass Vaccination" by Barbara Loe Fisher
"How We Are Making our Children Sick," by Sean Manning, in Pathways, issue 20
"A Personal Perspective on Vaccination,"by Jean McAulay in August/Sept 2008 of Today's Chiropractic Lifestyle

Life in Crazy Land

This captures my day so well

In case you hadn't heard, our lives are crazy full right now over Chez Szrama.  In addition to our own precious kiddos growing and getting into all sorts of fun, we are hosting two extras kiddos (from within my extended family) while their mama gets some stuff sorted out.  V just turned 6 and is in kindergarten, while A is 3 and a half.  I also still nanny for L, who just turned 2, 3-ish days a week.  So, what's life like with 5 kiddos underfoot?

Well, it's busy.

But I'm living my dream. :)  Since the time I was very small, I dreamed of running a house full of children, especially children who needed extra love.  As a teenager I wrote imaginary Christmas newsletters updating my future friends on all my imaginary children year to year. (Ryan still hasn't read these.  Babe, you knew I wasn't normal when you married me, sorry.)  Working with children is something the Lord keeps leading me to; I've been told I'm good at it, and it brings me great joy.  So I'm over the moon.  Having kids simultaneously napping all over our house also kind of makes me feel like I have my favorite super power of sleep-induction.  Maybe I should see a psychologist.

In all seriousness, one of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 68:6-

"He sets the lonely within families; He leads out the prisoners with singing, but the rebellious shall live in a sun-scorched land."  

I love being a part of fulfilling that verse, whether it was by bringing home college friends for Sunday dinner, sharing the Gospel with hurting people, welcoming old friends to our family table no matter what our food budget was, or now by tucking in two more at bedtime.

Also, we knew this was something God wanted from us.  When we became aware of the girls' situation, both Ryan and I immediately wanted to say "yes."  When Ryan and I agree on anything, that's kind of a divine sign. :)  (Especially if it involves me saying "yes" to anything... Ryan's usually my "let someone ELSE say yes-- you can't do it all!" coach.)  And as countless before me have experienced, when He calls, He enables.

Even youths grow tired and weary; young men stumble and fall.  But those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength; they will rise up on wings, like eagles.  They will run & not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40

Our day to day routine starts like this:
6:45 ish- roll out of bed & into my bathrobe, get downstairs to start making V's lunch and commence breakfast.
7- rouse V and get her to start dressing herself through any manner of threat and coersion  (Of course on Saturdays this is reversed and she wakes up raring to go.  God's sense of humor is kind of sick sometimes.) As she eats, I do her hair, cook breaskfast for everyone else, make my coffee, pack her lunch, write her a little note, and review our memory verse.
7:40- Ryan takes V to school, which is mercifully 5 minutes away from us on foot.
8- the other prisoners (ie Eowyn, William & A) are allowed out of their beds and begin munching.  Usually during breakfast L gets dropped off.  (If you're wondering at what point I take my shower and get dressed... ummm, yeah... I haven't really figured out how that fits in, either.)

Since Classical Conversations is over for the school year, we are settling into a homeschool routine that we like.  I aim to do "circle time" with everyone 3 days a week, followed by a math lesson (A kind of tags along and the boys make general mischief).  I get the girls at the table to work on handwriting (E) and number/letter/color/shape recognition (A).  Wednesdays we head to dance for E, during which I get to Zumba (the other kids try it too), then library story time, then lunch at Nina (my mom)'s.  E & I do one lesson in Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons about 3-4 days a week.  E is enjoying experiments with TOPS Get a Grip math supplement... during lunch we work on Bible verses from My ABC Bible Verses.  There is a lot of playing.  E is LOVING having sisters!  The little boys absolutely adore each other and come up with games of their own invention (such as the "ow" game, where they pretend to knock their heads against a hard surface, intoning "owwww" and laughing uproariously).  Another favorite is "Jump," in which case one or both of them hauls any object-- stool, book, beanbag, anything else Mom hasn't yet confiscated-- to the middle of the floor, and they jump off of it.  Repeatedly.  We head to parks pretty often, too.

Everyone naps between 1 & 2 (well, E naps every other day or so-- the off days she picks a quiet activity and plays ALONE as long as others are sleeping).  Usually that includes me.  Ryan brings V home around 3, and she goes straight to the kitchen table for a snack and homework.  I often make us some tea to share and she's starting to learn how to tell me about her day.  Her situation has made her quite behind academically, so we started at the beginning of TYCTR and have done one lesson each school day.  Then I coach her in handwriting, drill some sight words, and if E isn't napping, we do a number or word game together.

By this point usually some of the kids are awake and if it's remotely sunny they are clamoring to go outside.  This is where my life is much easier in some ways than it used to be. THEY ALL PLAY TOGETHER!!  Outside they troupe, usually first to ride bikes/push each other in the stroller/ pull each other in the wagon, and then they transition to some form of story-play.  Last week they've been poor people looking for a home, mother birds sitting on nests, Easter bunnies hiding eggs, mommies visiting each other, or cafe vendors selling smoothies & coffee.  Liam just wants to play basketball.  I try to interact with them a bit-- reading books aloud to everyone, playing, pushing or pulling on bikes, doing sidewalk chalk art, acting out a fairy tale (we really like the Three Billy Goats Gruff).  L's mama comes around this time and whisks him away; often we chat for a while (or a long while =D).

I make dinner... I've learned to get the kids started cleaning up earlier so it's done by dinner time.  They clamor to help me set the table and I let them.  We try to eat by 6:30 but we often are late-- either I haven't gotten my act together or Ryan works late.  Dinner is chaos... between our anorexic, highchair-hating-toddler (that would be Liam), an incredibly slow eater, kids still needing various degrees of help, trying to hear about everyone's day and a sudden advent of eye-ball-popping-out and poop-related stories... dinner is not for the faint of heart.  And just about every night amidst all the craziness and me giving someone the evil eye my heart just melts and I tell Ryan "oh please, when can we have some more?"

Dinner is swiftly followed by bed time.  That is one thing that DOES take longer the more kids you have!! Right now we are preparing for Easter with our Resurrection Eggs, which I love doing with the kids.  I am amazed at how much Liam loves them!  He begs to open "eggies" throughout the day, squeals with delight as each is opened, and is a generally enthusiastic nuisance the whole time they are out.  Hopefully he's learning something.  The girls are certainly starting to grasp the narrative of Passion week, and I pray that the reality of the Atonement sinks in.

Once eggs are opened and closed, Ryan takes over.  He supervises teeth-brushing, PJs & final potty-ing, and then reads them a Bible story.  We are into the NT in The Jesus Story Book Bible.  He sings & prays with them.  Meanwhile, I take Liam & get him into his PJs and we have our own little bedtime routine.  He asks for "che-che" and "Bobo" and I tell him "no!  Che che is yuck!"  He laughs and says "no!  che che is NUMMM!!!" (his version of "yum), or he will tell me "Mama, che-che is yuck" and then laugh and correct himself.  Once he's all dressed and holding as many lovies as he can cram into his arms, I settle into our glider to rock and nurse him to sleep.  I love the chance to snuggle him and smell that sweet little-boy smell.  He is getting so big and I know these days are numbered.

Once he's drowsy or asleep, I plop him in bed (well.... sometimes I might read an extra article online or comment on FB...) and make the rounds of kissing the girls & tucking them all in. Usually they're all waiting up for me.  E usually has some minor medical emergency like a hangnail or toeache or scratch requiring a band-aid...

That's pretty much how it goes!

they played "Doggy" in their self-made "cage" for hours

Don't get me wrong; there are times when I basically just tell everyone to sit down and stop talking... when I tell them that the next person who tattles gets to live outside... when I realize I've been ignoring "Mom! Mom! Mom!" for about 10 minutes... when I realize it's been a week since I opened my Bible... when I just want to be by myself for a whole 5 minutes... when I call my sister and add a topic to our "Least Favorite Ways to Spend My Time" list... when I lose it and shout and sin against my children... when I realize I've made the wrong call and need to backtrack... But overall, this is a good life.  It's a busy season, but it's one I'm enjoying.

We are being blessed by so many others, too.  Our extended family helps with the kids in countless ways; pitching in to get them to and fro, keeping them overnight so Ryan & I can get some us-time, bringing us meals, helping with chores.  We also have been so well-served by our brothers & sisters in Christ -- for the first three weeks after we got the girls, my cooking consisted of re-heating meals others had made.  People have brought over bags of hand-me-downs, given us bikes & toys, welcomed us with all our craziness, and come over and helped us clean.  It's so cool to be at the center of God's plan for His people to serve women & children in need ("widows & orphans")... you get a lot of tangential blessings, to put it geometrically. =D

And let me close with a "plug" for the Daddy of this crazy family.  If our family "tone" is of welcome and friendship, it's because he leads in it.  He excels at entering into people's stories and loving them in them.  He's also been amazing at doing lots of dishes and making sure I don't go insane.  I married a keeper.  =D