Or, in my case... did facebooking kill the blogger? Looking at my older blogposts, I'm surprised at how much every-day life found its way into my blog. I wrote about friends and church, places I'd seen and funny things I'd heard. I quoted books and poetry, I talked a lot about music. I was a lot more open about my feelings and my questions.
Granted, my life is busier in many ways now-- with a toddler to tend all day and a family to feed and enjoy in the evenings (and a body dying for sleep by about 9 pm), I don't have as much leisure time to just plain ol' write. My journaling has suffered terribly-- whereas before I filled in around 4 journals a year (in tiny writing!), now it's more like 4 years per journal... I think a lot; stuff percolates, but I'm more likely to talk it out with Ryan while we walk, or spill to my sister or Val on the phone while I cook or clean than to spend half an hour putting it on paper. It's harder to set aside the scant time I have to myself to muse and ponder when I could read a story or complete a project; both feel easier after a day of giving of myself non-stop. I'm also more guarded about my thoughts and feelings. There is a husband to honor and three sets of families to consider, instead of just me and my lone college self, back when my blog was read by around 6 people on a good day. :)
But I think the biggest reason my blog has cheapened is that now I have facebook. Whereas before I piled up the mundane, sifting and sorting it until a pattern of beauty emerged; a bit of Meaning I would rejoice to portray here, now... I just throw up a two-line snippet on FB and forget about it. No layering, no piling up, just single tosses.
It's not that I'm lacking material to mine: I've been attacking my pile of books with renewed vigor. I've been doing more household projects than ever, have been learning more about relationships and their sweet tangle. The Lord has brought old memories to mind as new sermons have been preached. Every day my daughter's capacity to communicate and think grows, and with it my delight in her and my job as a mommy... and right along with them new challenges and questions and frustrations. I would much rather pound and meld those into blog-posts than throw them out piecemeal... if I can.
Over and over, though I think of Sally Clarkson's words to us at the Relevant conference. "Until you are committed to glorifying God by loving your husband and your children as well as you can- when no one ever sees,- you will have nothing to share with others. You won't have anything worth blogging about." I've been trying very hard to hold those words close to my heart. I came home with an armload of bargain books from the Christian Book Nook yesterday, among them When God Writes your Love Story by Eric & Leslie Ludy, and underlined this section "Leslie, don't try to build Me into your life anymore...instead build your life around Me. [...] He was not the central focus of my daily life. In reality I was only giving Him a few minutes of scattered attention here and there." (p. 61) Is that my problem?
Well, faithful readers, I don't even know if I succeeded at what I set out to do... but at least I did set out to do... something? I thank the Lord for this blog; for the people it has encouraged, for the help it's been to me in my own thinking. More is surely to come.