Thursday, September 25, 2014

A Letter to Eowyn at 5 Years Old

Dear Eowyn-

I can’t believe you are five years old.  It seems that you’ve been in my heart so much longer, yet also that I’ve been a mother so much shorter than the span of five times around the sun.  You are the first child I felt stir in my womb, the first baby I nourished with my own body, the first being whose cry quieted at the mere sound of my voice or touch of my arms.  I will never forget the glorious moment where I watched your first breath blush through your purple-white body.  As you love to hear, you looked into my eyes, that first precious howl on your lips, and your deep-blue eyes said “I know you.  Mommy.”  I cried because I knew in all my life I’d never done anything to deserve this squirming, breathing gift.

You are still a gift.  Your loyalty, your ability to laugh at yourself, your willingness to help, your honesty, your concern for fairness, your empathy, your inquisitive mind, your memory – all these brighten up my every day.  This year we’ve worked together to coax meaning from those blurs on a page; I’ve done lots of good things in my life, but teaching you to read ranks as one of the ones I’ve most proud of.  It is so fun to me to have you at an age where you are interested in so many things that have fascinated me since I was five:  American Indians, fairies, pioneers, homemaking, the human body, magic, babies, and musical theater.  You are a reliable, trustworthy little soul, a natural caregiver, a problem solver and a story-teller.  You do everything with enthusiasm, and once you know how, you do it well.  I have a feeling you will be able to do most things better than I can in a very short amount of time.

As we’ve been reading the Bible story of Moses together, so many things have come to my mind that I want you to know deep down.  I think Exodus 2 might be the most ironic chapter in all the Bible (excepting Esther, perhaps).  First of all, notice that Pharoah’s name is never mentioned—but the humble midwives’ are.  Pharaoh wanted to be great; he wanted his name to always be remembered… yet he was afraid of losing his power (all oppressors are); he was so afraid he did something unbelievably cruel:  commanded the murder of innocent babies.  The midwives, Shiprah & Puah, however, feared something else: God.  And it’s their names who are remembered thousands of years later.  Their fear of God led them to bravely risk their own safety to save those same innocents fearful Pharaoh tried to kill.  If you go about trying to make a name for yourself, for your own glory, God will topple you.  If, however, you pursue Him, you will find that you don’t need a name to be happy—far happier than you could even dream.

Pharaoh did not value girls very much:  they were less threatening than the boys, who might grow up to fight against him in an army.  Girls?  What could they do?  Well, God is about to show us!  First the midwives, then Moses’ mother, then a servant girl, then Pharaoh’s own daughter, and finally a little slave girl all take their stand quietly against Pharaoh; not by taking up arms, but by doing exactly what God has created women to do:  nurture.  One by one they choose to nurture a helpless baby, to care for him as he grows, to humbly yet persistently, steadily, fearlessly embrace their feminity.  And God uses them to topple the tyrant of an empire.  I pray you grow up to be that kind of woman—that you are that kind of brave, self-less, giving girl now.  God uses the weak things of the world to shame –and often to save—the strong.  Because that gives Him the most glory.

I love you, dear Eowyn Grace.  I pray you, like your namesake, learn to be content as a nurturer instead of being unhappy so long as you are not queen.  For someone with so many ideas about how the world SHOULD work, this will not come easy.  Especially since your ideas usually are quite good. :)  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding-- in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."  "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil."  "Come my children, listen to me, and I will teach you the fear of the Lord:  whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil, and do good, seek peace and pursue it."  You are precious to us and we long to see you become more (and more, and more!) like Jesus.

All my love, and then some more,

PS. You just came up to me and informed me that I've been working long enough-- that this is too much screen time.  Well then. I love you, spunky thing.

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